YOUCOULD SKIP THIS LITTLE DIARY OF MINE:

Okay guys, a couple of hours ago, I was sad (I still am right now, a little) but I knew it shouldn't stop me from writing. It's a friend-related sadness so I find the story somehow connected with my real life. But whatever, who cares? Anyway.

HERE IS THE IMPORTANT STUFF:

The title of this story is SMELLS LIKE LOVE because of the secret admirer scented notes Cammie has been getting in his locker. And I realized that for the past few chapters, I wasn't living up to that TITLE. So I'm bringing it back now, since this is actually the whole point of this story.

And I just wanna tell you a lot of things before starting this chapter.

This chapter is going to be the LONGEST so far. It's gonna be longer than usual because I'm thinking of ending the story soon. DO NOT BE UPSET.

I'm not ending the story because I'm lacking ideas, it's just because I already came up with an ending for this a long time ago and I just want it TO HAPPEN. I'm such an impatient writer/reader.

Also, in a week or so, I'd be busy again and I'd probably have no time to update again. And I don't want you waiting, so I'm going to type my heart out here. LOL.

And for the past weeks, I got my writer's block, but right now, it's the opposite. I feel like writing A LOT. I mean, A LOT. So this chapter would be really really long. (JUST LIKE MY STUPID INTRO.)

And guys, if you feel like this chapter is too fast-paced, please tell me. But I really want this story to end because I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE ENDING. (Happy or Sad, I am still excited). I don't wanna give out details whether it'd be a happy or sad ending.

And if you're wondering why Cammie's parents are kind of missing, that's just because I don't like writing about her relationship with her parents. I kind of think that's gonna be boring and I just wanted to focus on her relationship with other people.

And finally, I want you all to tell me the good and bad things about this story, so I could improve on it. I love criticism and I'd be glad to hear your opinions about the story, the style of writing and bla.

I'm gonna stop blabbing.

Without further ado, here's the EPIC-long chapter.

I HOPE I DIDN'T BORE YOU OUT.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

I wished Liz and Bex were here. I wished they knew how I felt and I wished we didn't even fight. That was just something I was sure I wouldn't be able to bear for so long.

I wondered if I would be able to get through this night. The house was empty, I was alone eating dinner, it was just...

I wished I was with somebody.

I couldn't help but cry. Tears just fell down my cheeks even though I despised crying so much. My chest was going to explode if I hadn't let out those tears. I was sure I would die right there if I hadn't cried. So I did.

Before, when I was so down, I would just dial Liz or Bex's number and voila! I was happy again. But now, I had no Liz or Bex.

How could this day be so cruel? I lost BOTH of my best friends. That was just so harsh. I could've accepted it if it was only one of them, but BOTH of them ex-friended me.

I decided that sobbing in my house was not a healthy thing to do for a homework-free night so I rushed to the beach, taking my beach bag with me. I'd probably just sleep there and never wake up anymore.

I just wished suicide was easy and not that painful. I wished slashing your wrists would cause you no pain so you could do it to just shut your whole life to DARK.

But I was far from suicidal.

I WAS SO FAR FROM COMTTING SUICIDE.

Or at least, that was what I thought.

But I would never, ever, do THAT.

With me were flashlight, sleeping bag, money and car keys as I drove to the beach. That moment when you knew you had nobody was just...epic, I guessed?

I honked at every car I passed by.

I didn't care if it was red light, I still kept on stepping down on the gas pedal. Who cared? I mean, nobody did, right?

Well..

Unfortunately, I arrived at the beach in good condition.

How I wished I didn't.

But yeah, because I survived, I slipped into my sleeping bag and just slept there. What else could you do when you're inside a sleeping bag?

And yeah, I fell asleep and had some horrible dreams of sharks, insects, and all those things but when I woke up, it was such a sunny day and obviously, I just missed school.

I wanted to go to school but wearing the same shirt I wore the day before would be DISGUSTING for everybody, probably so I decided I would just take the day off and roam around the beach and do something different for once.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

When I got back home, I was expecting some missed calls in my phone or some how are you emails from people but I got nothing. I got something in my email, but that was something that said MAJOR CLEARANCE, SALE, etc. So those probably didn't count.

So yes, nobody ever noticed I wasn't at school. That was just...fun.

I checked my phone again after a couple of minutes and there was just no NEW SMS. How could that be? Didn't they care about me? What if I had some disease or died in some sort of car accident?

They actually didn't care anymore.

They probably knew me so much. They probably knew that I just needed attention so I didn't show up at school.

They were my best friends, they knew me, of course.

To keep myself from stressing some more, I just went to bed and started sleeping.

I woke up just in time. And now I had no excuse to take an absence. I had to face this. I had to go to school and just go with my life. So what? Both of my friends hated me? Okay, fine. I could go on. Or at least, I thought I could. BUT I COULD, RIGHT?

I used my motorcycle to get to school, with a highly unusual speed. I could fall off of the motorcycle if I wasn't so careful. But yeah, whatever. Who cared anyways?

"Hey Cammie!" I felt Josh's arm around my shoulders and I could feel the tension already. AT LEAST SOMEBODY CARED. "I tried to call you but I lost your number and apparently," he sighed. "Your friends are...they...they didn't want to give me your number so I just waited at home and prayed you're okay. And I'm glad you are."

"Thanks." At least. Somebody. NOTICED. And cared.

My friends probably noticed but they just didn't care.

"What happened? Were you sick?" his arm was still wrapped around my shoulder as we walked to the hallways. A lot of the people were staring at us.

"I'm totally fine," I looked at him. "Can you not go to me this near? Sorry but I'm having problems with my friends and it's kind of a complicated thing. I just don't want to be seen with any guy. But I appreciate your concern. I really do." I looked at him intently. "Thank you so much."

He let out a polite smile, waved and slowly walked away as if we never really talked. I was so glad he didn't need any explanation to how I was acting. He just did what I said and that was it. No questions asked. I wish my life was always like this.

When I opened my locker, I got two notes. And I just couldn't help it, even though I was so stressed and sad and everything, I HAD TO SMELL IT. Because the first time I opened my locker, the scent just popped into my nose. And I had to admit, it was a nice scent.

I secretly sniffed the Post-its and started reading the first letter.

I'd just bleed my heart out on this paper.

THAT WAS...quite dramatic. I crumpled it and slipped it into my pocket, then I started reading the next one.

Why can't I stop thinking about you?

Thought about you last night.

I'm thinking about you right now.

And will think of you tonight.

Okay. If the first one was dramatic, this was just freaky. The last thing I wanted was a stalker. Well...on second thought, if this person could be a friend to me right now, I'd probably tolerate. Whatever.

Uh-oh.

Macey alert.

How would I be able to survive Macey if...I had no Bex and Liz? They were my only strength. Well...it wasn't like I was Macey's target. She hated the three of us, not just me. So I should probably chill.

"Hey Cam," Macey waved, walking towards me. UH-OH. "SO...the news has been spreading. Bex, Liz, and Cammie are NOT friends anymore?" she clapped a hand over her mouth as if she was so surprised to hear it.

"Are you done with the acting? I've got a class to catch." I snapped.

"Well...they've connived against you, so I guess you're friendless now?" she bit her lip.

I just narrowed my eyes at her.

"Do you wanna have lunch with me? I'm thinking you're so friendless, and I just cannot take the sight of you eating alone." She grinned sweetly.

UGH.

"Do you seriously believe that the only friends I have are Bex and Liz? Yeah they're my BEST friends, but I do have other friends, so if you'll excuse me—" I pushed her out of my way but she blocked me.

"Hey! I'm trying here. I know we are so not in good terms but," she frowned. "hu-llo...we're in Senior year? Don't you think it's time to give it a break?"

Was she confronting me? That was seriously, the last thing I wanted right now. I needed my friends back.

Well...she used to be my friend, too, right? BUT no.

"Well, if you change your mind, you could always find me in our usual spot." She smiled a little and left.

OKAY. Why did I feel like she wanted to become friends again but not really? Why did I feel weird when she gave out that smile? Maybe that was her usual smile. The smile she always had when we were still friends. But everybody knew Macey. She could be sweet but there could be a hidden agenda behind that sweet face.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

Oh no. Mr. Solomon was looking at me. IT WASN'T A NICE SIGN. It was one of those Why-were-you-absent-yesterday looks. And it was terrifying.

"Pop quiz." He just said and everybody, automatically, groaned. But I didn't, because I just didn't know anything. What the hell would this pop quiz be about anyway?

"I'm gonna start with..." he was walking...

Walking towards me...

Towards...

"Mr. Solomon!" I felt Josh stand up behind me.

"What is it Mr. Abrams?"

"I don't really want to sound disrespectful but can we not do this pop quiz now? There're actually people who haven't really read the story yet and I'm sure 99 percent of us haven't read it. Right, guys?"

Everybody cheered, clapping, cheering for their hero.

"Well," Mr. Solomon. "99 percent haven't read, what about the 1 percent?"

"I finished reading it, Mr. Solomon."

It was Zach.

Everybody just booed and groaned. I turned my head to see that he was standing from his seat, looking proud as ever.

"You could go have your quiz, dude. We're not gonna take it."

"YEAH!"

"Yeah! Zach, I thought you were better than this!"

People started yelling at him.

"ENOUGH!" Mr. Solomon cut them off. "For the sake of the 99 percent who hasn't read the story yet, I'm going to move the quiz."

The class cheered and Zach just slowly sat down, accepting defeat.

Josh winked at me and then sat down too. Everybody was worshipping Josh now for making Mr. Solomon postpone the quiz.

I looked sideways and saw Zach, eyes fixated on the board, clenched jaw and closed knuckles. He looked like he was going to eat the board in front of him.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

I was so glad that Mr. Solomon didn't ask me to talk to him after class. He just gave me a warning look when the class ended. But when everybody got out of the room, including me, I saw Zach.

His arms were crossed tightly to his chest and his head was bowed down to the floor. He looked up at me and started walking and as he walked my heart beat faster and faster, wondering what was up for me.

He grabbed for my wrist and started pulling me outside of the school building. Before I knew it, we were in the woods that was near the parking lot.

He pushed me to a tree, placed his hands on either sides of my face so that the only thing I could look at was his face.

I just didn't get why we had to talk in THIS place.

"I cannot take this anymore!" his face was flaming.

I bit down on my lower lip hard. His voice was not even loud, he wasn't even yelling at me but I was so scared. And I guessed I knew why.

He was panting and he kept on clenching and unclenching his jaw. "Why the fuck do you still have to shove it to my face? I KNOW IT, ALRIGHT? Just DO. NOT. Shove it to my face!"

"What are you talking about?" I yelled back.

It was just hard being THIS close to him.

I just couldn't function properly if he was this close! And that we were the only ones in the place.

Yes, I could see the school buildings and the parking lot, but it was still nerve-wracking for me to be in THIS place with Zach. Just alone with him.

But I knew I had to bear with it.

"You had to shove it to my face that you'd choose HIM over me? YOU REALLY HAD TO, didn't you?"

I frowned and just gritted my teeth before answering back. "YOU CANNOT EVEN SAY HIS NAME!"

"You really had to shove it to my face that you're so inlove with JOSH! DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO THAT?"

That was probably the first time I ever heard Zach call Josh in his first name.

"I wasn't shoving it to your face! Get over it!" I pushed his chest but he was too strong.

"You didn't show up yesterday and I was just freaking out the whole time. I wanted to call you but I couldn't, I wanted to come to your house but I couldn't, I wanted to ask your friends how you were but apparently, they were just nowhere to be seen. I WAS TECHNICALLY DYING last night, and this morning but when I saw you, it was like everything had gone right. But then, Josh came over you and started acting like—" he groaned, feeling so much wrath for himself. "AND DURING ENGLISH! Why did he still have to save you from that pop quiz..and DAMN IT!"

All I could do was breathe. I had nothing but my breath.

He looked at me in the eyes, not even blinking. "You have no idea." He looked down and just stared at the ground for a while. He put down his hands and started walking away.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

My heart was still beating fast when I reached the cafeteria. It was just still hard for me to breathe. I could still see Zach's eyes in my head. I just couldn't get him out of my head.

"CAMMMM!" Liz and Bex' voice just popped out all of a sudden. Their worried faces were plastered onto my eyes.

"I know we're enemies right now but we just thought you should know about our thoughts about your secret admirer." Liz was panting.

Macey started walking towards us but Bex and Liz seemed to not care.

"What is going on?" Macey asked.

"JUST LISTEN AND SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT!" Bex snapped and Macey just shut up.

"We think it's..." Liz was stuttering.

"WHO?" Macey snapped.

"ZACH!"

"That's lame." I said.

"No, it's not! It cannot be Josh because..." Liz was stuttering again.

"It can be anyone else in this school!" I snapped.

"It's got to be Zach because Liz and I went to school early to see if you were here. And we spotted Zach standing before your locker. WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE BE HANGING OUT THERE?" Bex snapped, feeling so intelligent.

"He said he was waiting for me." I said, remembering the woods scene that happened.

UGH. I needed to remove that in my head.

"No. We're both convinced." Liz and Bex held hands.

"Okay..." I rolled my eyes. "Why did you have to sound like Johnny Depp was around? You just thought that my secret admirer is Zach, and then?"

"We need to spy on him." Liz said firmly.

"WHY?" I frowned.

"Let's get this Zach-Cammie dilemma over with. If we prove it to you that Zach is the secret admirer, you'd be sure he really is into you and you wouldn't be so afraid to tell him how you feel!" Bex spat on me. Liz just stared at me and Macey just grinned evilly.

"Zach...huh? So..." Macey was smiling.

I rolled my eyes.

We ended up spying on Zach. Macey had connections with the football team on where Zach usually stayed whenever he wasn't eating lunch in the cafeteria. And it happened to be the old Music Room. That was pretty much a giveaway. Nobody ever went there because, I didn't know, it was simply deserted and the musical instruments there were out of tune and dirty.

"Are you sure?" Bex asked Macey as we all walked to the old Music Room.

"YEAH! That was what Grant said." Macey smirked.

Bex just kept her mouth shut and we just followed Macey.

I didn't even know why I even went with them in this little spy mission. I should be bugging myself about what happened in the woods outside the school building.

I should be doing something else.

Why was I here?

Did this mean that some part of me thought and believed that Zach was the secret admirer I got?

"HERE WE GO!" Macey squeaked as she turned the knob of the door slowly, then we all stopped when we saw...

We were all taken aback.

I just literally froze...

I knew my friends wanted to cover up my eyes that time, I knew they wished they should've not insisted..

It w—

It was Zach.

Making out with a girl.

It was just like when I saw him during the bonfire. They were just fully clothed here. This was just less X-rated.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Macey just yelled all of a sudden and the rest of us just started running away from the room. I just wished Zach didn't see me. If he saw me, he would think I was stalking him and it would be his weapon against me. I couldn't have him know I actually spied on him.

"LET'S RUN! FAST!" Liz hissed.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

"Why on earth did you yell?" Bex asked Macey when we were all seated in our usual table in the cafeteria.

"I don't know, he was so disgusting. And, don't worry, he didn't know Cammie was there. He only saw me." Macey looked ever proud.

"Did he ask you to not tell Cam?" Liz asked.

She squinted and shook her head. "I think he knew I would tell her anyways."

"Now, are you still convinced he's my secret admirer? He's practically having sex with a lot of girls, who knows, guys! He couldn't be the secret admirer." I told them all.

"Zach is straight, alright?" Macey smirked.

"How'd you even know?" Bex frowned. "Oh wait, you practically slept with every guy in school!"

"BEX!" Liz and I snapped.

That was just out of bounds.

I could've slapped Bex for saying that, but Macey just giggled.

"Not really every guy," she grinned. "The gorgeous ones only."

"Sorry. That was a slip." Bex said.

"Whatevs," Macey waved a dismissive hand. "I really don't care about what other people think of me. I know who I really am so I shouldn't give a sweat."

"But I'm sorry." Bex said again.

"Yeah. Me too. I've been judging you for forever." Liz said.

I didn't know what to apologize for. So I just said sorry too. I mean, I just didn't know what to say anymore after seeing Zach making out with a model-ish girl in our school. That was...sneaky?

"It's cool. You owe me a brownie." Macey winked and that was when I knew my friends were back again.

You owe me a brownie. I hadn't heard that from any of us ever since Macey and the three of us hated each other. And I had to admit. I really missed that.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

"We need to think of a plan. We should catch the secret admirer redhanded." Macey said from the backseat. We were all heading to the beach for our long-lost sleepover. We were planning to skip school. That was the exciting part.

"What? How?" Bex asked. Liz was snoring from the backseat, Macey was recording the sound of her snore.

"We'll find a way."

"Why didn't you tell us Zach's going to be here?" Liz hissed when we were at the back of Zach's car. Again, spying. We always spied whenever we were with Macey.

"If I told you, would you've come?"

Liz shut up and watched as Zach disappeared to the bonfire created by his friends.

"They're having a little drinking party." I told Macey.

"I know." Macey said as she faced the door of the car. She opened it with a strange-looking key.

"LONG STORY." She said when she noticed we were confused as to why she had a key that opened Zach's car.

"That's SO COOL!" Liz exclaimed, jumping into the car. Bex and I followed.

"What are we gonna do in here? Smell his underwears?" Bex and Liz giggled, giving each other a high-five.

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO!" Macey snapped, slipping into the backseat, grabbing Zach's duffel.

"What?" I snapped.

"The notes in your locker are scented, right? We're going to get his clothes for you to smell! And if the smell on the notes and the smell on his clothes match, then voila! We've found your Prince Charming!"

I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. "We're just wasting time, let's get out of here, girls."

Liz and Bex stared at me blankly.

"ALRIGHT!" I snapped. "I'm just going to check if Zach's going to be near this car."

"GO!" Macey yelled.

There was, of course, a bonfire in the middle of that place. And the beach looked very beautiful, people were already swimming, splashing water everywhere. But apparently, Zach was nowhere to be seen. He was probably making out with some girl, AGAIN. I kind of felt like it was normal seeing Zach with other girls, like it was just the usual thing.

"Hey." Two hands covered my eyes from behind me.

This was NOT Zach.

"Hey!" It was Josh. "Hey, you showed up? Kind of all of a sudden, huh?"

"Uh-huh. But I'm actually going now." I lied.

"Oh," his face dropped. "Let me take you home."

"No! I'm with my friends. Thank you." I was starting to feel kind of antsy about this whole thing. Where the hell was Zach anyway? I'd just sniff him and find out the answer to all of our questions.

"Oh...alright," he bit his lip. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you!" I smiled and he walked away.

And there was Zach, wrapping his arms tightly around another girl's body. At least it was just a hug. Not making out. I actually thought I could bear seeing him again like this, but I couldn't. Apparently, I still couldn't handle it.

I slowly walked to where he was and waited until the blond girl walk away. He didn't look surprised when he saw me standing before him with crossed arms.

"What?" he wasn't even looking at me.

"I want to talk to you."

"Talk."

I breathed deeply and thought about what I was actually going to ask him. The truth was, I didn't even know why I was there in the first place.

"Speak up!" he snapped when he noticed I was totally not going to say anything.

"Nothing. Forget it." I said, ready to walk away from him but he got a good grip of my wrists.

"Go ahead, what?"

SPEAK UP CAMMIE!

"I just wanna let you know that I saw you in the old Music Room with the cheerleader. I'm not sure if she is, but whatever, I saw you with her." I didn't even know why I said that.

He snorted. "You saw me or Macey told you?"

"I saw you." I looked at him.

He swallowed. "And?"

"Nothing. I told you, it's nothing important." I said with no interest.

He squeezed my wrists, looking at me intently, like he wasn't looking at anything else. "Are you mad?"

I chuckled. This WAS insane. "Why would I be? That's stupid."

"Yeah. It is." He let go of both of my wrists and looked away. "Why would you even be mad? You wouldn't even give a damn even if I die right now."

THIS WAS FUNNY.

I had never seen Zach THIS dramatic.

He was so funny. I couldn't help but laugh at this. It was such one of those funny moments.

"Seriously?" I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm not that naive and cold. I actually care, you know."

He frowned, still not looking at me.

"Yeah," I nodded dumbly. "I think I said what I wanted to say. I gotta go." I suddenly thought of Macey, Liz and Bex, they were probably freaking out to where I was.

He groaned. "Are you really doing this to me? Walking out again?"

"WHAT? I don't understand you. What is this all about?" I asked him.

"YOU."

"I'm not talking about this again." I turned my back from him but he blocked my way, making sure I wouldn't be able to walk out from him anymore.

"Are you into me?" he asked very straightforwardly and for the first time, I didn't want to say anything to him. My mind couldn't come up with anything.

Then there was Josh.

"Hey!" he was smiling widely at me as he approached the two of us. He was holding a cup on his right hand, which he immediately gave to me. "I thought you were leaving."

"Actually, I am." I smiled weirdly.

"CAM!" I heard Macey's high-pitched voice from behind me. Bex, Liz, and Macey were all panting, holding a bag of Post-its.

"We found this," Macey smirked at Zach. "In YOUR car!"

"Ha!" Liz was smiling from ear-to-ear.

"Look at these," Bex handed me the notes. "Smell them, they smell just like what's in your locker."

I turned to Zach slowly, only to find him not surprised at all.

"You're the one who's been sending me stupid love notes?" I asked.

He grinned. "Those are not mine. They're Abrams'."

Macey dropped the bag of notes and cursed. "No way."

"Yes way," Zach said coolly. "I stole 'em from his locker. Right, Abrams?"

Josh frowned. "No. What are you talking about?"

"Just admit it," Liz interrupted. "YOU are the coward secret admirer."

"YEAH!" Bex yelled. "If you liked her, you should've treated her nicely and not crap."

"Cammie, what's going on?" Josh turned to me, totally clueless about everything.

"What is going on," I swallowed. "Is that Zach—"

"ALRIGHT!" Zach yelled all of a sudden. "I was the one who slipped all of those notes in your locker." After he said that, he just walked away from all of us, leaving us breathless and wonderstruck.

~SMELLS LIKE LOVE~

This would be the second to the last chapter. And I AM SO SORRY IF IT'S SO CRAPPY and everything.

Tell me what you think.