~During him, there is everything~
With your eyes closed
You see your whole life flashes before your eyes. He is everywhere and you remember every moment, every word, every feeling.
His eyes
You are in prison but he comes to you, every night, he comes to you and takes you out of your world. He is never the same, sometimes old sometimes young, sometimes he knows you more than you do and sometimes he barely knows himself. But he comes every night, he comes, he never forgets, and you wait for him.
His smile
Sometimes he comes to you and he cries and you don't understand why. But you are always there when he needs you and you comfort him, even if you are too young and he can't tell you anything. Sometimes you are the one who cries and he does not understand. But he is always there when you need and he comforts you, even if he is too young and you can't tell him anything.
His neck
You get married on a night where time stops and all starts again. The moment he kisses you brings everything to life but it's not only him it's both of you, it's your love spreading out over the whole universe and you know you will never feel the same again.
His chest
Ice-skating on the Milky Way. Dancing in the Avalon Forest. Flying in the Clouds system. Writing your names with constellations. Reaching the beginning of everything and seeing the first breath of the first living thing. Going to the end of time and watching the last star dying, his hand in yours.
His hair
When you are with him he let you go where you want, when you want, and you go to the most wonderful places of all time and space.
His nose
When the night comes and you are alone he tells you his love in all the languages he knows and writes it on your body and engraves it on your soul.
His arms
One day you realize you will never have children and there is no word to describe your pain.
His chest
The first time you jump into space is an accident. But he rescues you. He always does.
His lips
You bless the way he always kisses you, as if it is the last time.
His hands
The end is near and memories go faster to you head, there are just flashes of colors and pictures and feelings. Bow-ties. Diaries. Hats. High Heels. Suits. Joy and sadness. War and pain. Hope and despair. Trust. Hug and kiss and love. Comfort. Bitter and sweet. Time and space.
That was what your life was made of.
He was your everything.
x.
Open your eyes
You feel his breath coming into you, making its path through your chest and filling up your lungs. It hurts, when your heart starts beating again, and throws life in each of your cells.
You scream as you can't stand feeling every inch of your body again. Pain is everywhere and you think that sensation is going to kill you. But it's the pain of life. You're alive, because he has just saved you, and you can breathe again, feel again, move again. Pain is the price to pay but you know it will disappear.
His face is next to yours and it's the first thing you can see, his eyes and his nose front of you, you can see his relief but you don't understand anything, you don't know where you are and what happened and why you're feeling so bad. You know something was wrong and you're afraid. You remember the darkness and the emptiness and you don't want to be in it again.
You tightly hold on to him, you can't take your hands off of him and your nails are deeply stuck in his skin. He is also strongly hugging you, you can feel his arms shaking around your body and his tears running down his cheeks through your back. You bury your face in his neck and you cry too, you need to clear the fear and the pain and the grief out of your mind. You slowly realize what you've been through and you can't believe that it is true, you were dead and he brought you back to life and now you're here in his arms and you can't think about anything else.
He has snatched you from the jaws of death. He has given you life, again. He has given you a part of his light, a part of his own life, now he is in you, a part of you, deeply anchored in your veins, in your blood, in your soul. As he always was. As he always is. As he always will be.
His hand is in your hair and he kisses your head and says sweet things to you. You don't understand them, you can't stop shaking, and you can't stop holding him so strongly your fingertips are hurting you more than everything else. You must hurt him too, but he says nothing, he just comforts you and whispers restful words into your ears.
Step by step, you calm down and you soon are breathing easier. Your muscles relax and the pain vanishes. He stops speaking as you stand still in his arms and he just keeps holding you. He will let you the time you need to feel better.
You close your eyes and this time there are no memories to hurt you, there is no place you want to escape to. You are close to him and it is the only place you want to be.
THE END
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