Chapter 17:

It Returns

Have you ever had your entire life flash right before your very eyes? All of your accomplishments and failures? The people you've loved and killed? All of your memories, the good and the bad, right in your face, could you live with it? Witnessing it all again? For a second, although to him it felt like years, Patrick's memories of his past flew by him and he drowned himself in their intoxicating touch. He saw himself hovering over Lily's crib with his brothers (he had been barely three so he was in his mother's arms) and he saw himself falling for the brilliant, student council president in high school- their relationship hadn't worked out. He saw himself graduating high school and attending Harvard before dropping out, disappointing his entire family. He saw his mother die; he saw the light leave her eyes as her murderer scurried away.

And then the dream began: the dream that started off as a pixel on a screen and slowly had become a whole separate reality; a reality that Patrick now felt responsible for. He saw himself meeting Ashley and joining Shepard's crew; becoming a member of the Alliance and training underneath Kaidan and the other soldiers. He saw himself fighting beside Garrus in battle and then arguing with Wrex in the hull of the ship after a mission was completed. He saw Kaidan and Liara's shocked expressions as they realized he was from another dimension and then he remembered the warm embrace of their friendship after they learned to accept him despite his past. And most of all, he remembered Tali and in that second that lasted for years, he realized that he loved Tali. He loved her more than anything. However, that second was too late.

"Goodbye Serviceman Hamilton," Saren growled in his ear and Patrick closed his eyes as he felt the pistol bruise his ribs, trying not to wince, trying not to give Saren the satisfaction of watching his face contort in pain. This was it… this was the end. Game over, but unlike in Mass Effect, he couldn't start over. When he died, he would be dead. He would never get to say goodbye to Lily or William or Joseph or Holden; he would never get to say thank you to Tali or Shepard or Kaidan or any of the others. His journey ended here and for a single second, Patrick realized that he was going to die.

"Patrick! No!"

"Hamilton!"

Both Patrick and Saren's heads whipped towards the stairs where Tali and Kaidan were racing down the steps, their pistols pointed at Saren who snarled in frustration. At first, Patrick thought that Saren was just going to shoot him and be done with it, but the former Spectre chose instead to grab his shoulder and push him towards his companions, using the Serviceman as a human shield. Tali's aim faltered, but Kaidan's did not; he eyed Saren with a sense of hatred, his face twisting into one of pure anger. Patrick had never seen the Lieutenant like this before. Kaidan's calm exterior was gone and it had been replaced by this monster. But monsters are only temporarily and as Patrick cried out when Saren's claws dug deeper into his shoulder, Kaidan's face cleared and he lowered his aim, unable to shoot Patrick even if it meant he could kill Saren.

"Saren," Kaidan's voice was shaky and Patrick stared into the Lieutenant's eyes trying to read his expression, but it was clear. No anger… no fear… nothing; a blank slate. "Let him go. He's just a kid." Patrick's skin darkened and he looked away, hating being called kid, but at the same time, knowing that Kaidan spoke the truth. He always spoke the truth. "He's just a kid who got caught in the middle of something bigger than him… bigger then you or me for that matter. He deserves a chance to live…he's just an innocent." Patrick wanted to see Saren's face; he wanted to see if the Turian reacted at all to Kaidan's words.

"Killing innocents doesn't bother me anymore, Lieutenant Alenko," Saren growled, moving his claws from Patrick's shoulder to his neck when he dug his nails into the Serviceman's soft, white skin, "Innocents must always die to ensure the survival of the greater good. Surely you understand this, Lieutenant Alenko, you being a soldier." Patrick's body was frozen in shock as Saren spoke. He couldn't understand what the Turian was doing. He sounded so calculative… so cold. Patrick always wondered if Saren was actually a good person; he wondered if the indoctrination process was what had made Saren lose his soul, but now he saw that he was wrong. Saren was evil, just like Sovereign and the other Reapers. He wouldn't hesitate to break Patrick's spine and send his heart falling to the ground.

Kaidan opened his mouth to probably fire back a clever retort, but Saren was quicker with his hands, the Turian obviously deciding that the time for talking had passed. He threw Patrick onto the ground who was slammed onto the steel metal with a loud, ringing sound, his body vibrating in his armor. He was aware of being moved (Tali?) and he heard gunshots exploding around him, but not much else. His heart was racing and his head ached, his eyesight blurry and unfocused. He saw Kaidan's faint outline approach Saren and the two exchanged more angry words before the fighting continued.

Suddenly something exploded.

Patrick felt Tali leave his side and watched as flame began to scorch everything in sight. There had been bombs and detonators around the fighting area; it was obvious that someone (either Kaidan or Saren) had activated them. Saren coughed angrily and Patrick watched as Saren reclaimed his hovercraft, hiding in the smoke. Patrick closed his eyes as something else exploded and something hard and heavy fell onto his arm. He felt the body part break and he gasped out in pain. When he opened his eyes, the world was even darker.

"Tali! No!"

Patrick tried to find Kaidan, but his vision was useless and he had no choice, but to close his eyes, praying for someone to find them and rescue them. If no one did then Patrick, Kaidan, and Tali were all going to die. There was no stopping it. Maybe this was his destiny. He was a mistake; maybe he did deserve to die. But what about Kaidan? And Tali? Two innocents? Did they deserve to die to or was he killing innocents now? What was the difference between him and Saren?

I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

"Get back!"

Patrick tried to open his eyes as Kaidan shouted something else, but he was unable to, his body was too badly broken and bruised. His ears were ringing and he could barely hear Kaidan and Tali's exchange over his pain and the fire roaring around them. Their words were muffled, but Patrick could hear them coughing. Or was that him? Patrick couldn't even tell if he was the one coughing anymore. His chest felt like there was a Krogan sitting on it and he could taste the smoke as it slithered down his throat, but he was still very unaware of his own body functions.

"No!"

"You have to! Please!"

"But…?"

"Tali, now!"

Patrick heard an engine roar (the Normandy?) before a pair of gentle yet strong arms heaved him up, throwing him. As he fell onto cold steel, he heard an explosion echo around him and his companion's cries and gasps. As he fell into a deep sleep, the world around him continued to move and it continued to take life. Mass Effect was the past, the present, and the future and while Patrick could influence the game, he couldn't change destiny. No matter what happened or no matter what he did, someone was going to die and because of his actions, it could even be an innocent.

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So this was what dying felt like, Patrick mused as he took in the odd feelings that were engulfing his body. His head was damp with cold sweat and he felt a droplet fall down his cheek. He longed to wipe it off, but his right hand felt too heavy while his left hand was numb as though it was absent from his body. He tried to swallow (could you swallow when you were dead?) but there was a lump in his throat that seemed to stretch down his body, squeezing his heart and lungs. He couldn't breathe, but that was to be expected. Who needed air when you were dead?

Patrick's nostrils flared.

What was that? He recognized the faint scent of morphine, stronger as he grew more and more awake. That was… odd. Why should he be smelling morphine in death? Morphine was a painkiller; something doctors used to numb their patients. If he was already dead then why was he still being injected with morphine?

"Doctor? Doctor, the Hamilton boy is waking up!"

Waking up? But he was dead. There was no waking up for him.

"Serviceman Hamilton, can you hear me?" Patrick tried to focus in on the voice. He knew it. He hadn't heard it in sometime, but it was still familiar to him. He tried to conjure up a face, but he could barely find the name. "Serviceman Hamilton, I know you're in a lot of pain, but you have to wake up." Patrick tilted his head slightly, "Good, good, Hamilton, a little more now." The body that was closest to him turned away for a second; that much he was aware of. "Someone contact Commander Shepard and his crew! They'll want to hear about this!"

"The Turian is already here… along with the Quarian," The first voice answered.

Turian? Garrus? Quarian? Tali?

"Commander Shepard gave me strict orders to report to him first. Give my apologies to Garrus and his friend, but I must obey his orders," The Doctor ordered and Patrick distantly heard the chime of a door opening as the Doctor's assistant left. "Now Serviceman Hamilton, wake up. I'm lowering your morphine dose to help you regain consciousness. It's going to hurt, but we need you awake and mobile. Especially for what's to come." Patrick felt a body lean over him and he felt hot breath in his ear, "The Reapers are coming. Commander Shepard needs you, Serviceman."

That did it.

Patrick began coughing and his eyes flew open as the pain surged back into his body. He attempted to push himself up, to help air returning to his body, but strong, gentle hands pushed him back down, murmuring words that he wasn't lucid enough to understand. He looked around. He was in a white room on a bed, slightly damp from either his sweat or some of his opened wounds, and it was familiar. He was having flashbacks of Shepard and Garrus and thugs… and… the name and the face came to his memory as his eyes darted to his right side where the smiling Doctor was staring at him.

"Doctor Michel!" Patrick coughed, once more pushing himself up, but this time Dr. Michel didn't stop him. She placed a hand on his back and allowed him to continue coughing; rubbing his back in a soothing pattern as though he was some sick child. She was compassionate and that was something unusual in this dimension. Patrick found himself leaning into her touch as though she was his mother. He enjoyed her warmth.

Once his coughing fits subsided, Patrick turned to face Dr. Michel and opened his mouth to speak. His throat hurt and he still felt the unusual heaviness on his chest, but he managed to string together a couple of words to create a sentence, "Doctor Michel, what happened? Where am I? Where are the others?" Patrick tried to remember everything that had happened, but all he could picture was Saren sweeping down and shooting his Salarian team in the head. He had a feeling that that memory would stay with him forever. "Where's Shepard? And Tali?" His blood suddenly ran cold. "And Ashley and Kaidan?"

"Serviceman, please calm down or I'll be forced to inject more morphine into your blood stream and render you in a comatose state for another two days," Doctor Michel's voice was soft, but firm and Patrick knew better then to argue with her about these matters, "I'll answer your questions to the best of my ability. As far as I know, Saren was on Virmire. He engaged you and your team in combat and you were wounded in the fight. You were taken aboard the Normandy and returned to the Citadel. Doctor Chakwas managed to stabilize your condition, but she lacked the proper equipment to deal with your injuries."

"How badly was I hurt?"

"You suffered from a concussion and two broken ribs. You're entire left arm was all, but destroyed," Patrick glanced at his arm, relieved to see it still attached to his body, "Don't fret. I managed to repair it, but it wasn't easy. You broke nearly every bone in your arm and your muscle tissue was torn to the point where I feared it may not have healed properly, but it did. When you regain full consciousness, you should have full mobility in your arm." Doctor Michel's hand then trailed down his body, poking and prodding at his injured limbs, "You broke your hip and I believe sprained your ankle when Commander Shepard brought you back onto the Normandy. Other than that, you suffered from major blood loss and you have bruises up and down your entire body." Doctor Michel pulled away, "You're a lucky soldier, Serviceman Hamilton. You could have died. To be honest, Serviceman, you should be dead. I don't know how you survived."

"I am lucky," Patrick's voice was soft, "How long before I can fight again?"

Doctor Michel's laugh was gentle, "You really are a soldier, Serviceman Hamilton. I remember when I first saw you in my more humble office. You were young and inexperienced, a new member to the Alliance, a boy. Now when I look at you I see a man who's been hardened by war, but you still have the same compassion of a civilian. You are still young, but I see great things in you, Serviceman Hamilton. You will return to battle, with or without my blessing."

Patrick smiled for a second before he grew more serious, "And what of Shepard and the others?"

"Shepard took most of your team to the Council Chambers. To discuss the threat of the Reapers," Doctor Michel's voice grew serious, "Garrus and your Quarian friend have been talking about it and I managed to hear some things. I'm afraid that the Council has chosen not to believe Shepard about the threat of the Reapers. Shepard, along with Joker and the Normandy, has been grounded." Patrick's face must have suddenly grown terrified because Doctor Michel quickly added, "I could be wrong though, Serviceman Hamilton. You are aware of the rumors on the Citadel."

"It's true though," Patrick whispered. He knew it was true. He knew the game. "I can feel it."

The door suddenly chimed and in walked another human. He tilted his head in respect to both Patrick and Doctor Michel before facing the good doctor, "I spoke with the Turian and he went to go find Commander Shepard and the rest of the crew to let him know that the Serviceman has regained consciousness." Doctor Michel nodded, "The Quarian has decided to stay. She wants to see the Serviceman. I promised her I would speak to you."

Doctor Michel turned to face Patrick, "Are you up for visitors, Serviceman Hamilton?"

"Yes," Patrick nodded, his heart rising at the thought of seeing Tali. He had to make sure she was alright and perhaps she would know more of their companions… and of Ashley or Kaidan.

Doctor Michel nodded once more, "I will send her in and we will let you privately talk for a few moments."

Patrick watched as Doctor Michel walked out with her assistant and waited for a second before the chime of the door sounded once more, signaling the arrival of Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. Patrick watched her as she moved. She was favoring her right leg. Was she hurt? Did Saren touch her? Patrick longed to ask her, but before he could voice his concerns, he was engulfed in her gentle embrace. He leaned into her arms. It wasn't a romantic embrace. It was one shared between two friends… two companions who had been through hell together and survived.

"Tali," Patrick whispered and suddenly he felt his friend tremor in his arms, realizing that she was crying. Or the Quarian equivalent of crying. He tightened his embrace around her, "Tali, easy there. What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"I didn't think you were going to live," Tali's voice was soft, but it wasn't shaky. Even at her worst, she was still so strong. "Wrex was talking about your injuries with Shepard and he kept going on about how you weren't going to make it… how you weren't strong enough to survive an encounter with Saren. I didn't want to believe him, but I was there. I watched you fight Saren and then when you were brought to the Citadel and brought here and kept away from me and Shepard and the others, we all thought you were dead. Doctor Michel and her interns came out and gave us reports about your condition every chance they could, but it wasn't enough. We didn't know how you were or anything."

"Tali," Patrick pulled back to stare into what he assumed were Tali's eyes, "Tali, breathe. You may have a breathalyzer mask, but you still need to take a pause in between sentences." Tali took a breath and Patrick gave a weak smile, "Tali, look at me. I'm… well I don't want to lie and say I'm perfect, but I'm alive and I'm not going to die. The doctor even says that I will be able to fight Saren again soon." Even though he couldn't see her face, Patrick could tell that Tali's eyes had widened, "If Shepard gives me the OK, of course."

"Shepard will give you the OK," Tali's tone was still soft, but for a moment she sounded wiser than even the ancient Asari. "He needs you Serviceman Hamilton." Patrick was about to correct her and ask that she be informal with him, but she continued on without a pause in breath, "I don't think he even knows why, but he needs you to fight with him now. Especially since he'll be fighting alone... without the Council's aid. I'm worried about your injuries, but I trust in Shepard's judgment. He wouldn't send you to your grave. His grave, perhaps, but not yours. I know you're going to make a comment about me not taking a breath, but you and the others can't see my face… can't see my expressions… so I have to talk… I have to explain myself." Tali took a shaky breath, "I need you to know how concerned I was for you."

"Tali, I know," Patrick smiled weakly, remembering his last thoughts before slipping into unconsciousness after facing Saren. He thought of Tali; he realized that he loved her. He had to let her know too before Illos… before something happened. "Believe me I know." Patrick took Tali's hand and rested it on his chest, letting her feel his heartbeat, "Tali, listen, there's something I need to tell you. Something important." Before he told her of his affections, though, he had to first tell her about his past… who he was. "I..."

The chiming of the door brought Patrick and Tali's attention away from one another.

"Hey you can't go-" And the chiming of the door silenced Dr. Michel's assistant.

In walked, Liara T'Soni. She looked exhausted, but she smiled when she saw Patrick and she walked over to him, Tali bowing her head as she allowed the Asari to throw her arms around the weakened Serviceman. Patrick returned her embrace and they stood like that for about half a second before Liara pulled away, tears in her pale eyes. Those tears explained so much and Patrick bowed his head, swallowing his own grief.

Liara turned to Tali, "Did you tell him?"

"No," Tali's voice was soft as usual, but colder? Filled with envy?

"Serviceman Hamilton, Lieutenant Alenko… Kaidan… he…" Patrick lifted up his hand, stopping Liara's explanation.

"I know," Patrick whispered, his chest tightening. He knew that someone was going to die; he had known it since the beginning. But that didn't make the pain any less. "He was a good soldier." Patrick then turned away from Liara and faced Tali. She was with him before he lost unconsciousness in the fight; she would know what had happened to Kaidan. "How?"

"Everything was exploding," Tali's voice grew gentler as she explained the Lieutenant's death to Patrick, "Saren was gone and you were under so much debris. Joker brought the Normandy towards our area just as another detonation went off. Kaidan was injured greatly, but he remained conscious. He told me to get you aboard the Normandy first, he said you were more important, and he told me to tell Shepard to only return for him if there was time." Tali paused and then continued, "There wasn't time. Serviceman Hamilton, I'm so sorry."

"Tali, can you give Patrick and myself a few moments to speak in privacy?" Liara suddenly asked and Tali looked surprised, but she bowed her head, leaving Patrick alone with the beautiful Asari.

"I'm sorry about Kaidan, Liara," Patrick reached out and touched Liara's shoulder, "I knew that you were fond of him."

"I cared for him, but we are at war with perhaps the greatest enemy the galaxy has seen in centuries," Liara sighed, "I knew the risks when I joined Shepard and so did Kaidan. I will miss him, but I will have my time to grieve when we beat the Reapers." Liara then faced Patrick, new determination in her eyes, "For now, we have some business to take care of. In Saren's base, Shepard spoke with Sovereign, a Reaper, and he indicated that there was a second Prothean beacon somewhere on Virmire. I know you and your sense of… luck and I know you must have discovered it."

Patrick smiled gently, "You know me so well."

"So you did find it?" Patrick nodded, "And you received another vision?" Once more Patrick nodded, "This is… this is fortunate news, Serviceman Hamilton. Would you… would it be rude of me to ask that we reconnect our minds? I know that you are injured and tired, but this could give us the exact coordinates of Illos?"

"Of course, Liara."

Liara nodded and rested her hands on Patrick's shoulders and they stared into one another's eyes. Everything returned.

The Protheans…

The Reapers…

Sovereign…

And finally…

Illos.

They broke apart from one another, breathing heavy.

Liara was the first to speak.

"I have to be honest with you, Serviceman Hamilton, it is still shocking to see your mind and your dimension," Patrick blinked in surprise, forgetting that Liara had also seen into his own mind, "But that is not really important. We know where Illos is now. We have to take the information back to Commander Shepard. The Normandy is on lockdown and Joker is grounded, but perhaps the Commander has some sort of idea. He usually does."

"Liara," Patrick reached out his hand and Liara looked at him, confusion appearing in her eyes, "When we return to Shepard and give him this information, you alone will be taking Shepard and the crew to Illos." Liara's eyes widened, but Patrick continued before she had the chance to interrupt him, "When I see Shepard again, I'm telling him the truth. No more lies. I'm telling him and the entire crew the truth about who I am and where I came from. I have faith in Shepard and I know he always does the right thing, but I have to prepare myself for the worse. Shepard might think I'm insane and dismiss me from the crew."

"But I can tell him the truth…?"

"Maybe he would believe you, but maybe not," Patrick's voice grew softer, "I can't risk you being kicked off the Normandy as well. Shepard and the others need you. You have to protect them."

"Why?" Liara whispered, "Why are you telling Shepard now? Why right before our most important mission?"

"Kaidan would have wanted me to," Patrick sighed, "He never liked lying and neither do I. The only reason I lied to join Shepard's crew was because I thought I could do some good… I thought I could save Kaidan on Virmire, but I didn't do anything. He still died. I can't continue on with this charade anymore."

"But where will you go?"

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"Well, look who it is!" Patrick smiled weakly as walked into the Ambassador's office, leaning heavily on Shepard and Garrus while Tali and Liara walked behind him. Wrex was the one who had shouted, smirking from his position by Ashley who also looked relieved to see him while Joker sat in a chair near her, smiling at the Serviceman. Captain Anderson was there also, but Udina was absent from the scene… probably dealing with the Council and attempting to get the Normandy back in the sky. "I was sure you were a goner! Looks like you might have Krogan blood in you after all, Hamilton!"

"Thank you, Wrex," Patrick allowed Garrus to put him in a chair, directly across from Joker and he reached out to shake the pilot's hand, wincing as he stretched his still healing ribs, "Still kicking, Joker?"

Joker snorted in laughter, "You're one to talk, Hamilton. You were the one who almost died."

"Died? Nah I'm good as new," Patrick flexed his fingers and grinned, "I'm ready to start hitting up the Citadel's bars."

"Sounds good to me." Patrick and Joker shared a laugh before everyone was reminded about the mission at hand. Ashley, Garrus, Tali, and Anderson sat in the four other chairs while Shepard began pacing the office. Wrex and Liara leaned against opposite walls, staring at their human companions. Wrex was cracking his knuckles while Liara watched Patrick with anxious eyes. He caught her stare and smiled, but she did not return it.

"Liara has informed me that she and Hamilton have discovered Illos's coordinates," Shepard began, "That's good news. We now know where we need to go, but we still lack a ship to get us there. Captain," Shepard addressed Anderson with respect, dipping his head to his older friend, "Has there been any luck in getting the Normandy back?"

"I'm afraid not, Commander," Anderson sighed, "She remains grounded." The Captain then cast a glance in Joker's direction who was glowering at his hands, "And Joker is also forbidden to fly as well."

"Damn Council," Joker muttered and Ashley patted his shoulder in sympathy.

"So what are we going to do?" Garrus inquired.

Shepard found a seat and sat down; looking defeated for the first time ever, "I don't know, Garrus. I don't know."

"Well, we're not giving up, right, Skipper?" Ashley glanced at Shepard, smiling, but her smile soon faltered when Shepard stared at her with the same defeated expression he was giving everyone else, "Commander? Shepard? John, come on, you can't be serious! Look at what we have accomplished! We can't give up now! Not after… everything! Kaidan would have died for nothing! Patrick would have faced Saren for everything!"

"Chief, settle down," Shepard ordered and Ashley's eyes widened, but she remained silent. "Giving up isn't ideal, but we have no other choice right now. I propose that we all find somewhere to stay on the Citadel, somewhere to lie low for a couple of hours, and then return here, hopefully with a better plan. Any objections?" Ashley and Garrus exchanged a glance and Wrex once more cracked his knuckles, but no one said anything, "Good."

"Commander?"

Everyone turned to face Patrick who blushed under his companions' stares.

"I'd like to say something."

"Hamilton," Patrick glanced at Liara, her eyes pleading with him, "Please."

"There's something I need to discuss with you… all of you," Patrick stared at everyone, his eyes lingering on Tali before he caught Shepard's stare. He was the one who needed to hear this the most. "For the past six weeks, I have fought beside each of you. We have talked and argued; defeated enemies and suffered losses. I trust each of you with my life." Patrick gave a weak smile, "Even you, Wrex."

Wrex snorted in laughter.

"This is very sentimental, Serviceman, but is there a point?" Shepard asked and Patrick nodded, "Then get on with it."

"I trust each of you because you have been honest and upfront with me," Everyone nodded and Patrick swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat before continuing, "I cannot accept your trust when I have not been the same. I have not been honest or truthful about anything." Everyone stopped nodding, "You know me as Patrick Hamilton, a Serviceman and before that a civilian stationed on Eden Prime. And also an amateur Prothean researcher."

"Most of these things I told you were lies," Patrick stared at each of his companions, studying their faces. Joker and Anderson looked confused while Liara was staring anywhere, but at Patrick. Ashley was exchanging glances with Garrus, both of them confused, while Wrex's eyes hardened as he stared at Patrick. Shepard's face remained emotionless. "My name is Patrick Hamilton, but until the day that the Chief found me, I had never been on Eden Prime. I was transported there from my own… dimension. I was transported from there and brought here by some… game. I knew about you, all of you, and I knew about your mission against the Reapers. I knew what was going to happen before any of you did."

"I was not a Prothean researcher… I was not a farmer on Eden Prime. I was just some kid from my dimension's Earth, playing some game that suddenly became real."

"He's lost his mind," Ashley whispered loudly and Patrick nodded slowly, expecting this response, "Saren must have injured him… or his concussion! That must have affected his memory!"

"No, I assure you all that I am very sane."

"Doubt it," Garrus snorted, "You honestly expect us to believe that you are from some other dimension and that we are nothing more, but data in your world?" That was a new one. Data. Kaidan had always referred to himself as a pixel on a screen.

"I don't expect you to believe it, but it's the truth."

"Prove it."

Liara took a step forward, but Patrick stopped her with a glare and she retreated, bowing her head, "I can't prove anything. I was hoping that you would all trust me and believe me." He was met with silence. "Think about some things. How else would I have known all the stuff I know? I've predicted things before and they've always happened! I'm telling the truth!" Still silence. Patrick was going to have to try a different method. He turned to the Commander. "Shepard, you know how the Council would accept your truth about Saren? Or about the Reapers? I'm in the same situation! Please, Shepard, you have to believe me!"

Everyone looked at Shepard who was looking down at his hands.

"John?" Anderson was the first to speak in a calm fashion since Patrick began his explanation.

Shepard lifted his hand and stared into Patrick's eyes. There was no emotion there. "Get out."

"What?"

"Shepard, rethink this!" That was Liara, disobeying Patrick's orders and interfering.

Shepard ignored her and continued to stare at Patrick, "Get out."

Anderson began to speak, but Patrick stood up and walked out. He didn't turn to stare into his friends' hateful eyes… Shepard's emotionless expression. He never once looked at Tali to see how she was reacting to his news. No he kept walking - walking away from his friends, his life, his destiny.

What now?

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A/N: I believe several apologies are in order.

1. For my hiatus from this story. The hiatus was only supposed to last a month, but it ended up spanning for over a year. That was not my intention and I have had several problems over here in the Real World. I have been unable to write and I apologize profusely. If any of my original readers return, I will be forever grateful.

2. My second apology goes to this chapter which I believe did not reach its full potential. I may rewrite it sometime in the future, but I mainly wanted to get it out. I was displeased with the length of the story and also with the scene where Patrick tells the truth about his past to the Normandy crew. That was a difficult scene to write and I hope that while it wasn't perfect, you all found something positive about the scene.

And, not quite an apology, but almost a plead, I hope that everyone has no qualms about my Patrick and Tali relationship. I know that there were people who thought they were moving to slow and then there were those who thought I was moving too quickly. I wanted to appease both sides of the spectrum.

So you would honor me greatly by reviewing. Thank you.