Dear Journal,
I still haven't forgotten about that day...I wish it would just slip out of my mind, but it's easier said than done not to think about it. I always can't help but wonder how Koizumi's doing on the days where I don't see her...
I sit here and ponder these circumstances...and wonder if I did the right thing.
This is honestly unhealthy. Whenever I see Koizumi trying not to cry in class, I take the hint that I'm at fault for her emotional breakdown, and it makes me want to cry myself...gah! I just did something very unmanly! A tear kinda just...leaked from my eye and plopped onto my paper. So unmanly. ...Well, I guess I can say that it was...a manly tear...at least nobody saw...and this was my nice expensive journal too, and now it's getting all wet...blech, I'm sounding like a girl...! No more tears, no more tears...now I'm sounding like a girl AND a shampoo label. What's wrong with me? Manly tears disobey me and keep falling...ugh. Oh well, I'll leave my journal to dry overnight, whatever.
Koizumi's friends are all ganging up on me now. Curse them...weren't they the ones who told me to tell her how I feel?
I'm going to sleep now...
- Atsushi Otani
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Dear Journal,
Sorry for not writing in a while. But Koizumi told me a few days ago that she'd go back to the way we were...and I was okay with that, I suppose. But then while we were on vacation for the school trip...we met Umibozu in person while looking for Koizumi's purse which she lost. I was so happy about that. But then Koizumi suddenly said she wasn't giving up after all...and though I thought her timing was odd, I was somewhat...relieved that she was back to her old persistent self. No more 'manly tears' for me for quite a while.
- Atsushi Otani
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Dear Journal,
Today I saw Kanzaki again at the Christmas party since I went this time, but brought Koizumi along...and it was weird. I feel odd when I'm around Kanzaki, but it's different from how I used to be. It's not because I'm still not over her...it's because my feelings for her are pretty much gone and she acts like she still likes me. She asked me if I could see her again because there was something she wanted to talk about...and I had a feeling I knew what it was. I thought about Koizumi...and then I declined her offer. I didn't want to cost Koizumi any more tears. So then I left it at that and went to find Koizumi, because as soon as I started talking to Kanzaki, Koizumi rushed out the door. She was, in fact, crying again. So I tried to comfort her, and I think it worked, I dunno, she's confusing.
- Atsushi Otani
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Dear Journal,
Haven't written in a few days because there's nothing to write about...
Argh! I keep on losing control of the pen...because I can't stop having sudden sneezing attacks...maybe I'm getting sick...I hope not, maybe it's just allergies...because I'm going to see Umibozu with Koizumi the day after today.
- Atsushi Otani
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Dear Journal,
It's Sunday morning, and I woke up to find out I am sick...I'm barely even thinking straight right now, everything's a complete fog...I woke up with a rag on my forehead and a thermometer shoved in my mouth, I knew what was going on...at first I didn't believe it, but then I looked in the mirror and saw how flushed and exhausted I looked, and realized it hurt my throat to speak, I then believed it. My face feels so hot that it might just catch on fire, but I'm getting chills throughout the rest of my body...it's weird. My throat's a bit better, but my fever is still really high, and I'm not feeling so great...like I might pass out...
- Atsushi Ota
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Dear Journal,
I always end up not finishing my signature, don't I? Heh.
Right now, I'm a little better despite the fact that I still have a fever, but it isn't as bad as it was.
Mom is by my side, but she's asleep. So I must have completely blacked out while I was writing my journal entry a few hours ago and didn't wake up until now. But I'm not getting too much better, so unless by some miracle, I'm okay tomorrow, I'm gonna have to call in sick, so I can't make it to school. I thought of how funny it would be if Koizumi was so worried about me that she'd get my information and come stalk me...but naw, that wouldn't happen, it's just my weird thoughts.
She's crazy, but not so crazy that she'd go to an extreme like that.
- Atsushi Otani (I'm glad I finished my signature this time.)
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Dear Journal,
It's creepy.
Very creepy.
Just what I suspected...
Koizumi really did come to my house!
But I passed out while she was here, so it's midnight again and I'm making a late-night journal.
Gonna make it quick so I don't get caught staying up late and writing. But what the heck, I got plenty of sleep in the daytime already, so I'll be fine. No need for them to worry about loss of sleep. But anyway, I woke up to see Koizumi, and I was really shocked. It turns out she got directions to my house from Nakao. But anyhow, I remember her giving me a bag of oranges and peeling them, then asking her all my questions I had about how she likes me...but then I completely blacked out. Makes me wonder what she did after I blacked out.
- Atsushi Otani