Chapter 24:

"Come on, Barricade. Just try to drink a little Energon."

The black and white Mustang didn't even acknowledge Ratchet or the cube that was being held out to him. The medic sighed. He had been getting the same reaction for the past hour, ever since they had gotten back to base. The battle itself was a blur to Ratchet, but time had seemed to stop when they had found Optimus in the storage room with an in-shock Barricade and Nicole's dead body. The Decepticons had abandoned the base, retreating as they usually did, with Megatron shouting back insults at Prime. First Aid and Wheeljack were still tending to injured bots in the main bay, while Ratchet had taken Barricade into one of the private operating rooms.

Ratchet sighed and set the cube next to Barricade where he was sitting on the med berth, optics completely shut off and arms wrapped around himself. "Barricade," Ratchet's voice was unusually soft," You can't just give up on life. You can't starve yourself."

"Watch me." The mech snapped, not looking up from the floor. He had long since stopped crying, and those were the first words he had said since the battle had ended.

The neon yellow medic's anger flared up and he glared at Barricade, servos on his hips. "I can always put you in stasis and hook an Energon drip up to you."

Barricade finally looked up, his optics flaring brightly in distress. "Don't put me in stasis. Please. I don't want to see…her."

Ratchet's anger drizzled away slowly and he sighed. "Well, what can I do, Barricade? You can't hide forever-"

"Kill me."

"What?" Without waiting for an answer, he reached over and smacked the black and white mech on the helm, hard. "Are you out of your fraggin' mind, you stupid idiot? I'm not going to kill you, no matter if you want me to or not. I'm a medic. I took an oath a long, long time ago to do all within my power to save bots, not kill them. Not once have I broke that oath, and I'm sure as Pit not starting now, fragger."

"But it hurts, Ratchet! My spark! It hurts, and it hasn't stopped since she died!" Barricade voice started rising. "There's no point to keep on living, not if she's not here! She was my life! I feel so- so- so empty. Incomplete. Alone." He suddenly keened, servos pressed above the new armor over his spark chamber. "I just want it to stop. Please."

Ratchet felt his own spark pulse with grief, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. "Barricade, everyone of us is hurting right now. We all cared for her as much as you did. How do you think Prowl and Jazz feel? Prime? Ironhide? Bumblebee? Taylor and Willow? The twins?"

"Stop." The Mustang choked out. "Please. Stop."

The medic ignored him. "We all are mourning right now. You're not alone. We can all get through this, but you have to let us help you-"

"I don't want help!" Barricade snarled, optics flashing red for a few seconds. "I want to die. She gave up her life for me. She drained her life and AllSpark energy into my spark, just so I would live. And now she's dead and I'm alone."

Ratchet growled, feeling the anger in his spark grow. "You stupid, selfish mech. She gave her life for you. And you're going to throw that all away. If I killed you, her death would be for nothing. Nicole would want you to live, idiot." Barricade visibly flinched at Nicole's name. Ratchet pointed to the door of the private operating room, where on the other side in the main bay Nicole's body lay under a sheet. "That girl loved you, Barricade. Enough to give you her life. A Primus-given miracle, considering what you were and what you've done. But she loved you. And I know you loved her. You were lucky to have what time you could with her. Focus on the good memories you had with her, not the bad. Nicole would want you to live. Don't make her death in vain."

Barricade's optics had shut off his optics again, systems almost running silent. After what must have been a few minutes, Ratchet thought the mech wasn't going to reply, but then Barricade whispered, "Alright. I'll try."

The neon yellow medic smiled, a good, honest smile. "Good." He put his servo on Barricade's shoulder, prompting him to look Ratchet in the optic. "Barricade, we're going to get through this. All of us. I swear."

"I hope so," Came the muttered reply.

"We will," Ratchet said, more firmly. He nodded to the still-untouched cube. "Now, drink that. All of it."

Barricade just grunted, picking up the cube and swirling its contents.

The medic flicked his helm. "Don't play with your food. I'm going to go help Wheeljack and First Aid with the other bots. Are you injured?"

"No."

Ratchet nodded before walking to the door. "If you need anything else, comm. me." Right before he keyed open the door, the medic paused. "Barricade…You know that we're going to have to plan a funeral, right?"

The black and white shuttered his optics, the cube halfway to his mouth. "Yes."

/I had her right in my servos, Prowl. Right slaggin' there - and I let her go. Now- Now she's dead-/

/Shhh./ Prowl practically crushed Jazz against his chest, trying his best to comfort his mate. /Jazz, it's not your fault. Nicole knew what she was doing. It was her choice./

There were bright blue Energon tears streaked down both their faces. As soon as they had arrived back at base, Prowl had instantly taken Jazz back to their quarters before they both broke down. Now they were laying on their berth, trying to sort through the shock and grief while finding comfort in each others arms.

Jazz's visor had retracted, and now his optics were squeezed shut. /Nicki's dead, Prowl. Our baby girl - she's gone./

Prowl vented a shaky sigh, pulling the silver mech closer as he stared at the wall opposite of their berth blankly. /I know, Jazz. I know./

He knew all too well.

First Sam and Mikaela...and now...Nicole.

The medical-grade Energon cube in Bumblebee's servo glowed a sickly green color. It had gone cold and was still full since First Aid had gave it to him. He himself hadn't sustained any major injuries, but he was still in the Med Bay because Arcee had been forced into a medical stasis and was laying on the berth he was sitting beside. Stable and in stasis, but not dead, he reminded himself firmly. Still...

The yellow and black Camaro stared dully at his Energon. Nicole was dead. As much as he wanted to be able to believe that she wasn't, he couldn't. The proof was on the other side of the Med Bay under a small white sheet. But, Primus, how he wished she wasn't.

Bumblebee wasn't new to grief. Like everyone else in the Great War, he had lost friends and bots that he had called family. He had seen death. He had felt the pain, grief, and anger when Sam and Mikaela died. But it that was over a decade ago. The grief in Bumblebee's spark was still there, but it had dulled over the time he spent after he left the Autobots. It had become bearable. His first friend in years had been Jackie. He hadn't told her about the war, because he didn't want her to be at risk.

At risk of being just another person this damned war had taken from him.

Then it had happened again. Nicole this time (part of him couldn't help but think that the Witwicky's had extremely bad luck). This grief was new, fresh.

And it hurt just as much as the day Sam and Mikaela died.

Nicole POV

It was…peaceful.

I was laying down somewhere. Somewhere…comfortable. I don't know how to explain it. Perfect atmosphere, maybe? I must've been laying on a bed, and it was the softest bed I think I've ever laid in. The sheets felt like silk, and the pillow under my head felt the same. My eyes were closed, so of course it was dark. I took a deep breath, but there was something…lacking, from the action.

Oh well, my fuzzy mind decided, it's too peaceful to worry about something so meaningless. I just needed to relax, and go back to sleep. After all, no reason to waste a perfect bed…

I don't know how long I laid there, in peaceful bliss, but my subconscious realized that I had no idea who I was, where I was, or what I was even doing there. My mind felt blank. I was strangely okay with that. Besides, you don't need a name to enjoy bliss.

I was hanging somewhere between consciousness and the dark oblivion of sleep when I felt it. A small caress on my cheek. Unconsciously, I smiled a little. It reminded me of Barricade…

Barricade… Who was Barricade?

Something flitted through my mind. A flash of color… No, a picture. I tried to grasp at it, but as soon as I reached for it, it dashed away.

And for the first time since I had become aware in this utopia, I felt something besides content.

I felt…irritated.

With a new determination, I grasped at the little splash of color. It flitted away, but slower this time. For who-knows-how-long, I chased the little picture until, finally, I caught it and held it.

As I looked at it, I realized that it wasn't a picture, but a memory of someone. A black and white robot-looking thing with glowing blue optics.

Something clicked in my mind.

The image had a name. Barricade.

And suddenly… I remembered.

I was Nicole Witwicky. I was 20 years old, the daughter of Sam and Mikaela Witwicky, five foot five, loved cats, and had two best friends named Taylor and Willow. I was the Host of the AllSpark. I was creator to a sparkling named Stryker. My adoptive creators were Jazz and Prowl. I was bonded to a mech that was everything I could ever want. And his name was Barricade.

And I was dead.

My eyes flew open as I sat bolt upright in the comfortable bed. I was , God. I was dead.

"Calm down, youngling. There is nothing to worry about."

I nearly screamed when I saw the mech sitting on a stool beside me. He was…unusual. He was human size, and clearly had some age to him. His frame was fairly simple. The colors, however, were not. There wasn't even a design to his paint job. It was a combination of swirling gold, silver, and pristine white. The three colors were mixed, constantly swirling across his frame. It was…hard, to watch. His faceplates, however, were just light gray, and his optics were a glowing white.

I searched his frame for a faction symbol, but he had none.

He smiled kindly at me. "Hello, Nicole."

I was breathing hard, but it still felt strange. Still, this mech didn't look like he was going to try and kill me anytime soon, so I went ahead and said, "Hi, whoever-you-are."

The tri-colored mech laughed, and it sounded like…something beautiful. "Humor still intact, I see. That's good to know."

I looked around the room. I was back in the place where I had first met Jazz. Only now there was a bed in it. And I was laying in that bed. Speaking of… I looked down at the dark slate gray sating sheets and bedding. This was like staying a fancy hotel.

Only…I couldn't check out. Because I was dead.

"Oh, God," I said, staring at my limp hands in my lap, "I'm dead."

The mystery mech hummed happily. "Primus, actually, and yes, you are dead."

My gaze shot up to meet his white optics. "Wait, what?"

"You're dead-"

"I know!" I snapped. "Before that!"

"Oh. Well, I am Primus," he said with a smile.

I stared at him for a long moment before asking, "Is this a joke?"

The smile turned a bit sad. "No, Nicole. I wish it was. I really am Primus."

The meaning of that sank in. In a whisper, I said, "And I'm really dead."

"Yes."

Acting on instinct, I put my hand to my chest, right over my heart. I couldn't feel it beating. Again, I took in a deep breath. No wonder it felt wrong. I didn't need to breathe. So I stopped pretending to breathe, something that only live people did.

And…Barricade. Oh, Barricade.

With a sob, I buried my face in my hands. There weren't words to describe how I felt. So, not caring that I was being watched by Primus, I cried. Big, heaving sobs that lasted for minutes. By the time it was over, I had curled up in a small ball on my bed.

It was only then did I notice what I was wearing. A strapless, pristine white dress that hurt to look at. The material was the type that made you feel like there was a breeze and it flowed with you as you moved. There was a small silver band going around the middle of my waist, giving the appearance that I was wearing a thin belt. Was this supposed to make me look like an angel? I was torn between checking to see if I had wings or snorting, because I was not an angel.

A servo rubbing my back brought my attention back to Primus. He stared down at me sadly. "I'm sorry, youngling."

I sniffed and wiped the tears off my face. "I… Barricade. I miss him. I just wish I could see him, touch him, hear him… I wish I could tell him I love him."

Primus watched me with sympathetic optics. "You really wish you could see him?"

I nodded. "Yes. I'd do anything."

"You are aware of how painful it would be to see him again, right? You will not be able to follow him back to the living, Nicole."

"You mean I could see him again?"

"Yes. But are you sure you want to? It will be painful-"

"I don't care," I said quickly. "I'll deal with it. I just want to see him."

Primus studied my face carefully before holding his servo out to me. I took it and slid off the bed. The floor was cold under my bare feet and my dress just barely touched the floor. The mech led me to a door that hadn't been there last I had looked. Primus nodded to the door, and, hesitantly, I grasped the golden knob and pulled the door open.

At first the light on the other side was bright, but it died down to a dim setting. There was music playing at top level as I walked in the other room, looking around me in awe as I recognized this place.

It was a club that Barricade and Taylor had taken me to for my nineteenth birthday. There had been a DJ playing music nonstop on the stage, and the lights had been set low, giving the room an almost blue-colored atmosphere. In the middle of the two story building, there had been a big, wide open dance floor. From the bottom level, a person could look up on the second level to see all the booths where people were eating or leaning against the rail, watching the dancers and talking to others. On the far side of the club was a bar, where a few loners sat with their drinks. On the side of the room that I was standing in, there were two-seater round tables and booths.

It was just like I had remembered it. And I always would remember this place, because it was the first time Barricade and I had said those three little words to each other.

Surprisingly, I was the first to say it. As I thought of it, the room filled with people, just the way it looked that night. On instinct, I looked to the little round table in the dark corner of the room, beside the stage. Just like nearly two years ago, Barricade and I were sitting there, his arm around my shoulders and me leaning against him as I fiddled with my birthday cupcake wrapper.

He said something with a small smile, and the younger version of me laughed. I felt my eyes start to fill with tears as I smiled sadly. Barricade's words had been lost to time, but I remembered how happy I had been. I had been convinced nothing in the world could go wrong at the time. I had been living my own little fairy tale.

Now that fairy tale was shattered.

Suddenly Younger-Me looked up at Barricade, looking thoughtful. He looked down at me, waiting for what I was going to say. Then, I had whispered, "I love you."

Barricade's holoform looked stunned for a moment, before saying, "I love you, too."

Something had changed that night. I don't know what, or how, but it did. I felt tears on each side of my face and wiped them away, not looking away from Past-Me and Barricade. The little moment was shattered as the spotlight pointed straight at us, Taylor having told the DJ it was my birthday. I smiled as Younger-Me slouched down in my seat, hands covering my face as I cursed Taylor, and Barricade laughed. It had been one of those rare, open laughs that I lived for.

Or, used to lived for.

Reality came crashing down in on my flashback. The Past-Me and Barricade disappeared, as did everyone in the room, only to be replaced three seconds later. I sniffed, wiping hopelessly at my face as Primus walked up next to me with an all-too-knowing look.

Neither of us said anything as he lead me to an empty booth. Once we had seated, I looked up into his white optics. "Was that my chance to see him?"

Primus shook his helm. "No, Nicole, it was not. This, though, is." Without another word, he disappeared, along with the rest of the people in the room.

Barricade POV

Primus, I was hurting.

My spark. It hurt. I don't think it had hurt this much, ever, not even when I found out that my home world was essentially dead and that we would be leaving, possibly forever. I just wanted it to stop. Suicide had crossed my mind more times than I cared to count, but every time I even considered it, I heard Ratchet's words. I saw Nicole as she lay dying in my servos. I felt her life energy in my spark.

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't take my own life.

It made me angry. It made me feel so weak. I felt like I had when I had watched my one true love die in my servos.

I delayed recharge as long as I could, which was until Ratchet came into the private operating room and forcefully activated my recharge routines with some damned medical code. So I welcomed the darkness, half-hoping I'd see Nicole and half-hoping that I'd get some reprieve from the pain.

I didn't expect to open my optics to see a club. The club that we had celebrated Nicole's nineteenth birthday at, no less.

There was music playing, but no one manned the station. The dance floor was empty, and the second level was devoid of any life. It seemed I was the only inhabitant of the room…until I looked over to where the booths were.

My fuel pump stopped. There, in all her beautiful glory, was my Nicole.

Nicole POV

Before I could register fully what Primus had meant, I was suddenly pulled up into an embrace and squished. I squeaked, wondering what the hell was happening, before relaxing into the arms of Barricade.

Somehow, he was human-sized, but still a mech, so he was seeing on my level without his holoform for the first time. His armor was warm to the touch. Fully relaxed, I wrapped my own arms around him and leaned my head against his chest. Since I had realized where I was, I felt truly at peace. This, I realized, was home. Home was in Barricade's arms.

I could feel the Mustang's spark pulsing warmly under his armor. He was shaking. I felt him stroke my hair gently. "Primus…Nicole…You're- You're-"

"Real." I said, leaning back a little too look up into the faceplates of the mech I had missed so much. "Real. But…not alive."

Barricade's intake hitched and his arms tightened around just a little. "How? How do I know you're really here and I'm not just dreaming it?"

I smiled ruefully. "Transformers don't dream." When he didn't say anything, I frowned. "You're just going to have to trust me when I say that this is really me, visiting from the dead."

Barricade gently trailed one servo down my face, still looking at me in awe and something like pain. "Nicole…You're here."

I put both of my hands on either side of his faceplates. "Yes, Barricade. I really am."

"Why?" He choked out. "Why did you leave me?"

I bit my lip, feeling more tears spring up. "I had no choice, 'Cade. You would've died if I hadn't-"

"You should have let me die! I hurt so much right now, Nicole! I'd rather be dead than this terrible existence without you! I don't want to live!"

I shook my head as the tears started to fall. "I know, babe. I know. But I couldn't stand knowing that I could've saved you, and not have. Trust me, I'm hurting, too." I pulled his helm down until we were touching foreheads. "But this was how it was supposed to happen. Everything happens for a reason, babe. I know it hurts now, but it'll get easier over time. It never will stop hurting, but it gets easier, I promise."

"I hope so."

I smiled briefly, before leaning up and stealing a kiss. It was strange, kissing Barricade like this, but in a way it felt right. When it was over, I wiped away my tears and looked up to him. "One last dance?"

And we did.

Barricade's servos were resting gently on my hips. My arms were around his neck. Neither of us knew how to dance, but it seemed like we had been doing it all our lives. In the background, I could hear some orchestra music playing. In my opinion, it was beautiful.

"You look beautiful." Barricade whispered, looking sadly down at me.

I smiled. "You don't look too bad yourself, stranger."

He smiled, too, but it was sad, lacking any happiness. It broke my heart.

"Will I get to see you again?" The hope in his voice only broke my heart further.

I shrugged. "I don't know, Barricade. I honestly don't know."

My beloved leaned down with a sigh, gently resting his fore helm against mine. "I don't want to wake up. I want to stay here, with you. My spark doesn't hurt here."

"You can't sleep forever." When I said this, Barricade looked thoughtful. Even without a spark bond, I could just tell what he was thinking. My gaze hardened and I leaned back to look at him more clearly. "And suicide is not an option, Barricade."

The black and white Mustang suddenly growled, anger taking over his handsome features. He pushed away from me and stalked over to the stage. "And why not, Nicole? Why can't I make the choice for myself? I'm a big mech; I can make my own decisions. I should have the liberty to take my own life or not."

I walked closer, biting my lip. I almost reached out to touch him, then thought better of it. My hands dropped back down to clasp in front of me. "But you shouldn't have to want to take your life because of me. You're life is more important than us being together in death."

"Really? Is that how you feel?"

I winced at the hurt underlying his sharp tone. "Barricade, you living life is more important to me than anything. I gave my life so you would live. That's how important is to me. I'd rather be dead with you living than both of us dead, or me alive and you dead."

Barricade braced his hands against the stage, helm bowed. "I do not see the point in living an existence where the other half of my spark is extinguished, Nicole. There isn't a point. It's a worthless, agonizing existence, one that no one should have to live." He laughed softly. "I have a newfound respect for Prowl now. How he dealt with it I will never know."

"Please, Barricade," I said as I came to stand beside him. I was begging by now. "You have to live. For me. Please. Don't make my death in vain."

I knew that was stooping low for me, but he didn't say anything for a long while. I didn't either, hoping that if he had time to think, that he might see my reasoning. So when Barricade's fisted-servo came smashing down on the stage, I jumped about three feet in the air. The Mustang snarled wordlessly, obviously still having some internal struggle with himself.

He suddenly pushed off the stage, stalking halfway across the dance floor before turning back to glare at me. "Fine!" Barricade snapped. "I'll live in the Pit you call the Living. But when I do join you here in the Matrix, I can't guarantee that my sanity will be intact."

I almost smiled, but smartly hid it, knowing it'd probably piss my Barricade off even more. Instead, I followed him to the center of the dance floor. You could practically feel the waves of anger, irritation, and unease rolling off him as he glared a hole in the floor and clenched his servos. "Barricade," I said softly," Prowl and Jazz and everyone else is going to help you get through it. And what about Taylor and Willow? Someone's gotta keep the twins in line."

He just rumbled darkly, refusing to look at me.

Sighing a little, I nudge his helm up until he was looking at me. "Just know I'll be waiting for you. Here, in the Matrix, forever."

"Forever is a long time, Nicole." He suddenly smiled wickedly. "I plan on seeing you before then."

Now I was confused. "What?"

Barricade suddenly grabbed my shoulders and kissed me senseless. Instantly, I relaxed, completely forgetting where we were, the fact that I was dead and he was not, and his strange words. I wanted this moment to last forever, and simply because I was in the Matrix, it felt like the kiss lasted forever.

And then as suddenly as it had begun, the kiss was over. Since I had no need to breathe, I wasn't breathless, but Barricade's vents were working double-time trying to cool his frame off. The black and white mech had a new glint to his optic, something besides sorrow and pain. It was determination and hope.

Barricade had not let go of me yet. "Nicole, I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to bring you back. Whatever it takes, even making a deal with Unicron. I'm going to bring you back."

I just stared at him. And stared. Then, "Primus, babe, that's sweet, but… It's completely delusional."

He smiled, a genuinely amused smile. "If a fragging annoying minibot like Jazz can be brought back, then you sure as slag can, too."

I began to feel exasperated. Barricade was getting his hopes up, and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop the incoming sparkbreak. "Barricade-"

"Don't." He shook his helm. "Don't. I haven't given up hope. Not until I'm completely sure that there's nothing I can do."

"But how do you even plan on doing this?" I snapped, feeling anger begin to burn inside me. "There's not a shard of the AllSpark left. And my body isn't Cybertronian, 'Cade. You can't shove a shard in a spark case that doesn't exist."

For a moment, my mate's expression faltered. But then it was back again in a few seconds. He tapped the armor over his spark case. "I've got AllSpark energy in my spark. I could use that to ignite your spark. And Ratchet and Wheeljack could build a protoform."

I hissed in anger, but mostly at myself. He was getting my hopes up, and I wanted to believe it with all of my dead heart. But it simply wasn't possible. It just…wasn't. Another point popped in my mind. "And even then, you don't know if it would be me."

"What do you mean 'you'?"

"How do you know that the spark you created would be me? How do you know if it would have my memories, my personality, my appearance? Primus, it wouldn't even look like me if the protoform was Cybertronian."

"Your energy is in my spark, too," Barricade said with a harsh look in his optics, totally ignoring that last part. "If I focused on you enough, maybe I could create your spark."

"That's a big 'maybe'."

"Dammit, Nicole! I don't care what you say! I'm going to try, no matter how much everyone thinks I'm crazy for it!"

Just as I opened my mouth to snap something back, I suddenly found myself wrapped up in Barricade's embrace. "I'm going to wake up now," he whispered in my hair. "I swear to Primus I'm going to find a way to bring you back. I swear. This won't be our last time to see each other."

"Barricade-"

"I love you, Nicole."

And just like that, I was all alone in the club again. Three seconds later, it filled with people again.

Sighing, I made my way back to the booth in a daze as I thought over the conversation. Primus was sitting just where I had left him, smiling a little. Deity or not, I wanted to wipe that smile off his faceplates. Why the frag was he smiling at a time like this? Instead of voicing my question, I just plopped back down and put my face in my hands. The urge to cry was overwhelming.

"Your mate is a smart mech, Nicole." The tri-colored mech said.

"I wouldn't call not-being-able-to-accept-the-truth 'smart'," I snapped back, voice muffled from behind my hands.

"Oh, Barricade's accepted the truth. He's just planning on how to change it."

Fed up with - well, pretty much everything, my head snapped up to glare at him. "Look, would you stop speaking in fragging riddles already? I'm not having such a great time right now. My mate is about to have the biggest sparkbreak of the millennia and I can't do a thing about it. Whatever was left of the AllSpark is gone, leaving my family with nothing to restart their race, and I'm pretty sure that most of them don't want to create sparklings the old fashioned way during a war without it. Oh, and I almost forgot: I'm fragging dead. So blunt, to-the-point answers would be appreciated." I took a deep breath, then added, "And, damn, I want some chocolate."

Just as I said it, a bar of Hershey's appeared on the table in front of me. I glared at the offending piece of candy with all I had.

Tearing my gaze from the chocolate, I looked at Primus. Who was still grinning. "Look, Barricade can't change the fact that I'm dead. He's not - well, you. I'm dead. The AllSpark is dead."

"Or is it?" He asked with an all-too-knowing tone. "The AllSpark is not dead yet, Nicole. It is right here."

Funny way things have of appearing in thin air here, I thought as I looked to my side to (unsurprisingly) see the AllSpark orb floating in mid air beside the booth. Tilting my head to the side, I said flatly, "So, what brings you to this little corner of the Matrix? Come to tell me about another scheme to ruin someone else's life?"

The AllSpark said nothing in return, but I felt waves of guilt and exhaustion emanating from it.

Primus sighed and I turned my attention back to him. "The AllSpark is not at fault here, youngling. Do you know precisely how old it is?"

I opened my mouth, but hesitated when no answer came. Usually the AllSpark knowledge would have helped me with something like this, but I wasn't the Host anymore.

So instead I just said, "Really old."

Primus nodded. "More than you can imagine. Everything that ages must die someday. And the AllSpark's time has finally came."

I felt like I should be understanding something here, but my brain felt too muddled to understand. "Okay, so the AllSpark isn't dead. Yet. It's not going to change anything. It's dying."

The AllSpark gave a weary sigh. Remember what I told you, Nicole. I said that a new AllSpark had to be born. When I die, the new one will be born, and I can finally rest.

It took a few seconds for that to sink in, and even longer for me to form the words of my next sentence. "So, what's going to be the new one?"

Primus smiled. "You are, Nicole. Or, your new body will, anyways."

Me: Hello, peoplez! Look at me! I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee! All because of the wonderful reviews!

Abusive Me: Uh, hello? Just saved your butt and that's all I get?

Me: And Abusive Me helped. She actually does have a heart in that big, black, expanse where it should be!

Random Me: And she wasn't spontaneosly formed from darkness.

Abusive Me: I don't know, it's pretty dark here in Original Me's head. And this is where I came from. Where we all came from.

Nice Me: Ooh, I've got candles to light the dark! Who wants jasmine and who wants sweet pea?

Abusive Me: OOH, I KNOW THIS ONE! PICK ME, TEACHER! PICK ME!

Me: And Smart Me is locked in the closet, and she'll only be coming out for when I actually need her at school. So. Here's just a little bitty update on my life...

1) School has officially started (the horror...*curls up in small ball quietly sobbing*), so that means essays, projects, and exams galore! ...And less time to write. Though I'm trying to update every two weeks, because that's when I have access to the fricken Internet.

2) Yay! I got more money put towards my laptop! Like, a LOT of it! Still a ways to go, but closer!

4) Again, yay! It looks like it's gonna rain outside! (Yes. I'm one of those poor people being affected by the damn drought. Me and sunny days do not get along well. I'm a strange girl that likes rainy, overcast, and windy days. And tornados. Ooooh, the tornados...)

5) About this chapter... Well, I'm not sure if I'm happy or not. Some things - like the Jazz and Prowl and Bumblebee parts - I have no idea where they came from. They just appeared. Literally. From the depths of my mind. So that's why they seem out of place. And you honestly didn't think I'd leave Nicki dead, did you? Primus, no. Then like would be boring.

Me: AND WE REACHED 210 REVIEWS! YES! Thanks to all my fantastic reviewers, and even the people who don't review! Thanks to pretty much just every body! My goal had been fulfilled. I am a happy Psyche.

Cheerleader Me: Go team! *jumps in air with pom-poms enthusiastically*

Me: Right... I don't know where she came from, I've never done a cheer in my life.

And I bet you're wondering where the hell #3 is. It's right here, dear readers...

3) I GOT A TF07 PLAYSTATION GAME! YES! And it's so fun... But the cops and Sector 7 keep getting in my way...