hmm, I do like updating~ If only to read new reviews ~.n

Just four weeks later and Izaya was wondering what the HELL was wrong with him! The last three days he had been unbearably moody, even for him! He was tired and cranky and he didn't want to talk to anyone, but he knew he'd better speak to Shinra about these mood swings. He giggled at his wall,

"Heh, maybe I'm bipolar….wouldn't that make my monster happy~" he thought then frowned. He was still tormenting Shizuo of course, but those vending machines just weren't being thrown with the same murderous intent.
"Ahh, Shizu-chan, have you fallen for me~?" He wonders aloud then glares at the wall his knife killing a fly on the wall with deadly accuracy.

"I hate flies," He said suddenly then he frowned. He got up, pulled the knife out and tossed the fly in the garbage.
"Haaah~! I must be bored, that's all~!" He decided, pulling his jacket on and skipping off to play with his toys.

Another three days passed though and he woke up normal as could be. The mood swings were still there, but no one else seemed to notice. Maybe they thought it was a new game, and hey, for all they knew it was. He looked around and found some eggs, scrambling them easily with a few choice spices to add flavour. His mouth watered at the smell and he sat down to eat. He gulped the first two bites down barely tasting them because he was really hungry but on third he'd slowed enough to taste his food. He had just finished washing the dishes when he frowned. Nausea lurched through him and he clutched the sink. Then he bolted for the bathroom. He barely made it before emptying the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl and when he was done he rinsed his mouth out and flushed.

"Must have caught something…" He mumbled. He might be God, but even he got the flu…occasionally. He shivered and curled up on the couch with a small trash can. Just in case. He resigned himself to staying indoors but hours later he was ravenous again. He ate light now, plain toast no butter and weak tea so as not to trouble his stomach but he felt fine now. He took it easy anyways that day, gathering some information off the net for Shiki who was due late tomorrow.
"I'll be better by then," He promised himself and by bed time he felt right as rain.

Morning though was another story. He felt fine again until he'd finished his meal –Miso soup with rice and egg—then promptly emptied his stomach again.
"Fuck, what is wrong with me?" He wondered aloud, wide-eyed. He wondered if he should ask Shinra about this, but he was still pissed off at the scrawny doctor and with the way he was PMSing lately he didn't want to risk slitting his throat over something stupid. He decided if the symptoms continued for another three days he would. In the meantime he booted his computer and dropped them into a symptom checker but the things that matched were less than pleasant.

"So anything from cancer to an ulcer," he mumbled discounting the last possibility since it wasn't. Even herpes came up and he scowled. Wouldn't that just be dandy, catching an STD from that damned monster? He sighed and finished organizing everything and when Shiki arrived he managed to act completely normal. Normal for Izaya Orihara anyways. He eventually decided to go torment Shizuo if he could find him and when he did a few hours later he felt giddy.

"Shiizuu-chaaan~" He sang happily and dodged the incoming sign he predicted.
"How mean, didn'tcha miss me~?" He said with an exaggerated pout, dodging something else.
"NO ONE MISSES FLEAS" Shizuo grabbed the next heavy object he could and Izaya laughed as he dodged poor Simon.

"Hmm….catch me if you can~!" The raven-haired man giggled before dancing off being chased by the rampaging blonde. He was good today though, he dodged everything when suddenly a sharp pain shot from his groin to his belly button and he gasped, clutching it.
"What the hell?" He gasped and then the twang came again but this time he wasn't moving. The next attack only missed him because his knees gave out and he cried out in pain.

"Oh please, that didn't hit you flea, so don't think I'm gonna fall for it!" Shizuo stalked closer and Izaya was positively panting now. He was even sweating and a low groan came out as his arms crossed over his abdomen to try and fight back another wave of the intense pain.
"Sh-Shizu-chan…h-help me!" He looked into the gold eyes, his own red ones panic stricken. Shizuo paused and blinked. He had never seen that look on Izaya's face before.

"Oh! OH GOD! Ah! I'm dying! Ah, Shizuo it hurts!" He gasped and curled up, tears forming in his eyes and streaming down steadily just from the pain. Shizuo was trying to figure out what to do and he took a cautious step towards Izaya again.

"I…zaya…kun?" He said it slowly as if uncertain this was really Izaya.
"Oh fuck! Please, please, G-get me to Shinra! Ah! Oooh!" His forehead hit the pavement now and his eyes were squeezed shut. Shizuo decided to chance that Izaya wasn't faking and picked him up, still expecting to be knifed and the little flea to taunt him about being 'too easy' to fool. Instead Izaya curled up more and whimpered in pain, his eyes still shut tight.

Shizuo ran him to Shinra's but he wasn't sure why. Izaya whimpered and cried out the whole way and when Shinra saw the state he was in the young doctor paled.
"On the bed. Now," He ordered and Shizuo obeyed setting the flea down, but one hand remained tightly locked on Shizuo's shirt. Shinra grabbed a small bottle, filled a syringe and injected Izaya with it immediately. Shizuo figured it was morphine but then Izaya was out cold.

"What did you give him?" He asked gaping.
"Specialized tranquilizer," He mumbled and took a blood sample to run some tests. Shizuo wondered what the hell happened and decided to sit and listen in. Shinra was back, and he was beaming before Izaya woke and he refused to tell Shizuo anything until Izaya woke. Celty came in briefly though and showed Shinra her screen.
"Yes it did!" He told her excitedly and Shizuo wondered what she asked.

Izaya woke a few hours later, his mind a bit fuzzy and he saw Shizuo there.
"Why are you here Shizu-chan?" He mumbled and the blonde grinned.
"Finally you're awake. I just wanted to know whether you really ARE dying or not," He explained and Izaya frowned and looked at Shinra.
"Am I?"
"Nope~ it's just a parasite," He said gleefully.

"If it's a parasite why the hell are you so excited?" Shizuo asked the doctor and Shinra just smiled.
"Just gimme the drugs to get rid of it and let me go home Shinra-san," Izaya was tired, sore and hungry and his mood had shifted again to depressed.
"It's not that simple, Izaya-san. Typically this parasite resides in its host for nine months before it can be removed," He explained.

"Nine months? Why the hell do I have to wait nine months? Just give me the pill that kills it!" Izaya grumbled but Shizuo paled and looked at the doctor incredulously.
"Wait…Shinra, are you…are you saying…what I think you're saying?" He asked and his voice was too high. Izaya looked at him,
"Of course not you dolt! I'm a man!" He grumbled not in the mood for Shizuo's stupidity but then Shinra chuckles.

"Izaya-san, you're pregnant,"

Izaya: ...WHAT?
Seliphra: It IS in the warnings IzaIza...
Shizuo: Yeah, even I saw that coming
Seliphra: Heee~! Oh! I can't believe I haven't dedicated this yet~! This story is dedicated to Random Llama, my beta and she-who-introduced-me-to-this-anime as well as Kahless(Pronounced KAY-less)
Izaya: ...you're bird?
Seliphra: Yes my bird, he's cute and sat on my hand while writing this whole chapter! This is also dedicated to my doggy and my monster~!
Shizuo:...
Seliphra: My monster is a gerbil...NOW REVIEW ALL!