Oooh, that was fast...my plot bunnies are well fed, I'm currently writing up chapter 9

Shizuo sat by the bed waiting for Izaya to wake up….again. Shinra's declaration made Izaya stammer something and then he had feinted. Probably in shock, but who could really blame him for that? Shizuo was still in shock too and hadn't spoken a word since Shinra said it. He was wondering how the hell a man god knocked up and though he didn't remember much about that night, he did remember that Izaya was DEFFINATELY not a woman. His memory was a bit less hazy after the morning after.

"Still out huh?" Shinra was back in and checking Izaya over carefully. Shizuo was still lost for words and as such said nothing. He looked up when Shinra made a muffled squawk and saw Izaya holding the doctors throat tightly with one hand.

"What the hell did you do to me? What did you give me Shinra? Why? WHY? ANSWER ME DAMMIT!" Izaya was obviously frustrated and probably getting emotional now so Shizuo went over and extracted Izaya's hand from Shinra's throat just as Celty ran in having heard the commotion. Shinra coughed and spluttered on the floor while Izaya trembled with rage.

"Izaya-kun, if you kill him he can't answer the questions," Shizuo reminded gently and the furious man barely spared him a glance.
"I-" cough "-c-can explain-" more coughing.
"Good. Then you'd better because I'm not sure you'll like me much better in a moment Shinra," Shizuo was glaring at him too, he was just…less hormonal.

"I-I'm not the only one who's s-sick of you two fighting you know," He gasped and Celty helped him to a chair so he could sit. They both looked at him incredulously when he said that.
"Well I'm not! So, I thought if you two had a baby that maybe things would calm down a little and fewer street signs would vanish!"

"You mean, you planned for me to get knocked up by Shizuo" Izaya said his voice venomous. Shinra gulped and nodded.
"Yes. It took three years for the drug to be ready for its first human trial so I gave it to you along with a mixture of alcohol and Tribulus, an aphrodisiac. You are quite correct Izaya-san, I didn't want you pregnant, I wanted you pregnant off Shizuo and Shizuo alone! Now you two will have to settle down the way you act for the sake of a baby!" He explained and the two stared at him, stunned.

"Get. It. Out." Izaya said and Shizuo looked at him like he was crazy.
"You can't do that, it's my baby too!" He said and they all looked at him in shock. Izaya blinked a couple times then laughed.
"Nope! I am not having a baby! I didn't even want to fuck you, I sure as hell am not having your baby. One monster in Ikebukuro is bad enough thank you, I don't want it," He said stubbornly and Shinra smirked.

"But Izaya…you can't get an abortion from anyone except me," Izaya paled at that and looked at him.
"What…what are you saying?"
"I'm saying you can't just waltz into a clinic and ask for one, they'll laugh you out! You're the first human male to ever be pregnant! I'm the only one who knows what to do safely both in terms of aborting and delivering because I've been doing it for over three years, and let me add one more thing, if you try to force a miscarriage…it will kill you," Izaya was as white as the sheets on the bed.

"Wh-you…" Shizuo was stunned too.
"Miscarriages don't kill women," he pointed out quietly and Izaya nodded in emphatic agreement.
"Yes, but you are not a woman. The drug is designed so that the only way a miscarriage can occur is if you overdo things and don't get enough rest. That's what happened earlier you know," Shinra nodded. Shizuo never knew the small doctor could be so…evil.

"F-fine, then…h-how do you get it out when it's time?" He asked, but his voice was strange.
"When the time comes I will deliver your baby by caesarean section," He said. He'd had a lot of practice on monkeys. Izaya nodded weakly.

"Think on the bright side flea, no more vending machines at your head, right?" Shizuo said trying to brighten his mood.
"Shizuo-san, Izaya-san, there's another thing. You two," he took a deep breath and the two men looked at him, "will have to live together."
"No. No way! It's bad enough I'm pregnant off him, but you're going to make me live with him too?"

"To make sure you don't overdo it Izaya-san, and believe me, once cravings kick in you'll have someone to drive to find whatever you need at three in the morning," Shinra pointed out and Izaya frowned and looked at the blonde.
"F-fine, I don't have a problem," He said and Izaya nodded.
"Fine. I guess we're…living together." Izaya said in a deflated tone. Shizuo didn't look pleased either.
"I've already found you both a place nicely between where you both already live~" Shinra sang happily and Izaya looked murderous again.
"Aww, Izaya-san, it's close to the most prestigious schools in the area! And think, the baby could be as evil and warped as you!" He said and Izaya did seem to brighten up. Shizuo paled though. He hadn't thought of that.

Even Izaya had to admit, the place Shinra had found for them really was stunning. There was plenty of room and even an area Izaya could hold his meetings in. The walls had been specially reinforced in case the baby had Shizuo's strength –although Shizuo pointed out that wouldn't mean much if it DID have his strength. They were both moved in under a week and Izaya was reluctant to admit it but Shizuo was proving useful. He even sat with him through the morning sickness and made sure they had a never-ending supply of mouthwash.

"Feeling better?" Shizuo asked, coming over and Izaya nodded. The mood swings were making him very clingy towards Shizuo for some reason though and it frustrated Izaya endlessly.
"Shizu-chan~! So thoughtful~!" He cheered latching onto his arm.
"Tch, just eat, it's not you I'm worried about," And Izaya grinned.
"Yeah, yeah, just give me my food," He said. Shinra had told him he was six weeks now, counting by the general standard….so four weeks since conception.
"Your morning sickness is getting worse," Shizuo said softly, concerned and Izaya pouted,

"Yeah, but I'll deal with it." He said. He sniffed Shizuo then and paused. Then he smiled, not one of his 'I'm plotting something evil' smiles, or his fake ones. A real one.
"You smell nice," He murmured and Shizuo was rather startled by the comment.
"I do?"
"Hmmn! I want strawberries," He said happily and Shizuo raised an eyebrow.
"It's not the right season, that's not what you made anyways," Shizuo pointed out.
"Well…then let's go get a strawberry tart, or…strawberry jam! Oooh, strawberry tart, yeah, I want that Shizu-chan!" He said happily and dragged the confused man out behind him.

There was a place just down the street that –luckily for everyone- had strawberry tarts and rather good ones at that. Shizuo loved strawberries, but he didn't think the flea liked them too. Let alone this much. Izaya had single-handedly eaten four strawberry tarts, was working on his fifth and promptly bought another two dozen for later on.
"You must like strawberries a lot," He commented and Izaya frowned.

"Actually…not really. But they taste amazing right now!" He shrugged and finished the fifth tart. Then they headed back to the apartment.
"Shinra-san wants to do an ultrasound in two weeks," Izaya said. He still told himself he didn't care. He didn't really feel like there was something growing inside him anyways. He didn't plan for this, and he didn't really want it but Shizuo was excited by this prospect. At least he wasn't trying to act like he cared about Izaya, but when he smoked he did it far away from Izaya now and didn't complain about not smoking in the apartment. Although he did still insist on drinking milk right out of the carton.

"So soon?" Shizuo was surprised and Izaya nodded.
"Apparently it already has a heartbeat, but it's still too small to see on an ultrasound, so we have to wait," He explained and he couldn't stop the smile that spread on his face in reaction to Shizuo's.
"In other words, little flea is more like me than you already, huh?" He teased and Izaya pouted.
"Shizu-chan~ don't be mean to the mother of your baby!" He said half-mocking hurt. Only half because he was surprised by the real hurt that rose. He attributed this to the hormones making him…feel.

This couldn't end fast enough.

Seliphra: Welcome back to the post script, where the cool kids hang out *wearing sunglasses identical to Shizuo's*
Izaya: Ummm...*eating cake*
Shizuo: Nice glasses Seliphra
Seliphra: Oooh, thanks Shizuo-chan! Anyways, thank you for all the reviews you've sent in, each and every one of them touches my heart and feeds my plotbunnies!
Izaya: And keeps her updating.
Shizuo: Here's a question, do I ever get laid?
Seliphra: Yes. I have already written the lemons.
Izaya: But I want the lemon AND the lime...
Seliphra: Yeah yeah, I threw a grapefruit in there too
Shizuo: Um...what's that?
Seliphra: Never you mind. NOW HIT THE REVIEW BUTTON THAT I MAY LOVE YOU ALL FOREVER MY PRECIOS HUMANS!