Who wants to see Autumn's face trauma in prison? Here it is a one off secne of Autumn narating, telling how she thinks she'll cope. Or Will she cope without the men she trusts? M x
I didnt think that I could let Sam leave that easily, I was happy that my brother was alive and well. But I didnt tell him how I was doing in here, I didnt want to cause any upheaval within the family.
The officer stopped banging on my door, after half an hour. I heard her say faintly.
"I think we need to get the doctor"
I paniced, I know I said I needed a doctor, but not right this mintue.
When I got sent down, I thought I'd be able to cope. I thought pleading guilty was a good thing, perhaps now.
It wasnt.
I stayed sat on the floor, covering my ears, rocking gently backwards and forth. Banging my head against the wall, I'd been having rough nights. I just wanted to go home, be at home for christmas, snuggled up on the sofa with my older brother, younger sister and Dad, eating roast dinner on christmas day.
But they didnt understand, nobody understood my situation like they did. I missed my Dad, the warm gentle person who used to give me calpol when I felt ill, the man who helped me cry over a broken heart, a Dad isnt just for christmas. He was for life.
When they told me that Grandma Fox had died, I couldnt stop crying. I was only 12, Forest was only 8. The pair of us, sat up in bed keeping ourseves occupied during the night because we were afriad of dying ourselves until Aunty Tanya convinced us to go to sleep.
But it was to be to good to be true, I was brought back to reality with a bang.
"Autumn! It's Doctor Thomas, could you open the door?" She banged against the door.
I wasnt going to budge anywhere.
"Go away" I screamed.
She wasnt going to go anywhere far either.
"Autumn I want to help you"
"Go Away" I screamed again, before tumbling into hysterical tears.
She still wasnt going to go anywhere.
I kept myself glued to the floor, Doctor Thomas eventually left after an hour.
Perhaps it was best I left for good.
For the best.