So here's the new chapter :D
I've been busy with all the homework and tests so I finally managed to get out for a few days to write this chapter :D Hope you enjoy
so you don't get confused: This is normal text and this is Ritsu thinking/flashbacks/and what not
" They're so beautiful, nee Ritsu."
" They are," I said as the cherry blossoms were being carried by the wind, lifting them up, making them fly around us like pink butterflies. I could only stare in awe at their beautiful dancing. Inhaling a large quantity of air Mio spoke while still staring at the pink petals, "We should go or else we'll waste our entire day on this."
" Yeah," I paused for a second while trying to digest what she just said, " wait, wanna go to a cafe first imma sort of thirsty."
" Yea sure."
We walked and talked until we reached the entrance. With the quiet music circulating the small spaced cafe and hardly any talking, it would be impolite to laugh like a horse. We sat on the wooden chairs -opposite of each other- which seemed rather comfy . As you would have guessed we were in an 'old style' cafe, with everything made out of wood: walls, floor, tables. It gave out an awesome feeling.
In view soon came a young waitress, holding her pen and pad, ready to take whatever was coming at her.
" Hello, what would you like to order?" Her voice seemed the same throughout the entire sentence, no hesitation and a fake smile to boost, she must've practiced it many times, too many times that is.
" Two cappucinos, please." I continued to stare at her as she wrote down my order. While making the tiny waitress fluster with my smile I resumed talking, " You new here? I mean I haven't seen you around here before. " I could already feel Mio staring at me so I hesitated to continue, but before I could let go of the conversation the girl squeezed her eyes shut while whispering words I couldn't quite catch.
" Hmm?"
" Umm... yes I'm new! Today is my first day, so..."
" That's nice, you're doing a great job," I complimented her. She then quickly bowed down and went to doing what she was supposed to, and I turned my attention to Mio's confused look.
" What was that?"
" What?" I asked curiously while placing my elbows on the table and putting my chin on top of my hands.
" Why would you randomly start talking to a girl you don't even know?" she asked surprisingly.
I leaned in, getting interested in the topic. " I thought she was cute," I gave her a little smirk, already deciding to tease her about it.
I could catch her eyes becoming more dim as she averted them. " Oh..." A disappointed sigh escaped her lips.
Oh, now I did it!
I felt guilt wash over me, I grabbed her hand almost immediately and gave her a reassuring look. " Hey, hey, I was joking no need to be serious. Besides..." I turned my eyes towards the ground, blushing almost instantly from the thought. " No one can be cuter than you."
Before I could turn back to face her, the waitress was already standing with the drinks situated on top of the large grey tray. My eyes wondered from her waist to meet her hand gently settling the cup full of coffee onto the wooden table. Then slowly making eye contact with the flustered raven haired girl.
" Enjoy," an innocent voice came from the side, but I didn't pay attention to it, I was completely taking in by Mio's captivating expression. The smell of the flavourful coffee filled my nostrils, calming my senses, completely falling in a magical trance as I laid my eyes on Mio's smile, those lustful lips and her bewitching eyes. With a hint of pink staining her chicks I couldn't withhold to grin at her cuteness. " If a goddess had a form I wonder if she would look like you..." I snapped realizing I said it out loud.
CRAP, SHIT! She didn't hear right?
But apparently she did because she began to glow red from embarrassment.
I looked at her, my face still flushed, trying to speak something, anything to keep the awkwardness away, " The coffee shop is nice." I took a sip of the refreshing beverage, my hands shaking, " And the coffee is amazing."
" Yea it is." The crimson red was still visible in her cheeks but was slowly fading away with the new atmosphere that I was building around us. She slowly tilted her head and looked passed me. " We should go after we finish our coffee, it's almost 1 pm. Practice begins in 30 minutes."
I leaned in into my chair and gave out a content sigh. " That's plenty of time than."
" Ritsu, are you sure you want to come to the practice? Won't it be a waste of time for you," she said with a hint of concern in her voice.
" Hey now, I'm gonna come back to our band real soon, so I need to catch up with what you guys are doing right now, you know." I grinned at her while swirling the tea spoon in the coffee.
It took me a few seconds before I broke the silence once more," Yo, Mio."
" Hmm," she asked calmly while raising the cup towards her lips.
I gulped. " I want you to know that even if my memories might not come back, slowly but surely I want to begin making new memories with you and everyone..." I hesitated but continued, " although for some odd reason I get this pain at times when I think about it, as if I'm prohibited from seeing you. I tell myself to turn away and leave you, although deep inside I know it will hurt me if I do that. I contradict myself as if I'm two halves." I gripped my forehead with my hand and shook my head in disapproval. " I don't really understand..."
Shortly after I felt Mio's palm caressing my cheek, " Ritsu... no matter what pain or confusion you may go through, remember I will never let you suffer alone, I'm here right in front of you, always by your side." I stared into her honest eyes as I gently put my hand on top of hers. " Yeah, I can see you right in front of me, always when I walk in pain, you're always there for me no matter the circumstances."
I scratched the back of my head while chuckling a bit, " Hahaha look at me acting so serious. But, Mio really thanks, you really are the best. I don't know what I would do without - "
" Sup, guys!" a loud scream came from behind me.
" Oh, Yui, hey," Mio quickly caught on.
Why do I always get interrupted at such moments... I thought to myself while I glared daggers at Yui.
" Hmm? Ricchan are you okay, you seem tired?" she asked instead of stating it.
" No, I'm fine." I waved it off. " Besides what are you guys doing here?"
" We were on our way to the studio and saw you guys here, so we decided to drop by," Mugi said as soon as she and Azusa caught up to Yui.
" Well, since were all here, grab a chair and get something," I said while making myself comfortable.
" Wait since everyone is here let's go now," Mio spoke out.
" Hehehe I love this coffee shop they have deliciouseeeee cakes~" Yui giggled as she sat down beside me.
" It's no use, Mio-senpai." Azusa slapped her forehead as she took a seat next to Yui.
" I guess there's no helping it, ne, Mio-chan." Mugi elegantly sat beside Mio as she gave us her usual smile.
The waitress went by all of their orders, and here we were already sitting for the past thirty minutes, having random conversations until Mugi struck me a question, " So, Ricchan, have you remembered anything yet?" What made me feel awkward about her that was her expression. She seemed rather calm and yet her eyes were slowly shifting towards Mio, as if she wasn't aiming the question at me.
I gave myself time before answering, " Not really..." I closed my eyes and sighed, later opening one of them, which stared at Mugi's still expression.
I'll risk it. I bluntly told myself.
" What do you mean? By memories, I mean."
" Oh? What it means of course, memories, your past." Mugi said while staring at her cup half full of tea.
" Ah! Hahaha of course!" I grinning, slightly leaning on my arm, situated on the table. "What kind of memories?" I waved my hand in mid-air, " I mean after all, for me to remember maybe it'll be wise to tell me about some events, so I might remember?"
Tsk, look at me, telling Mio I would stop walking in the past yet I'm diving in without hesitation. I'm really horrible. Curiosity takes the best of me, I suppose...
Before speaking Mugi gave a quick glance at Mio - which I was able to catch - and while she was returning the glance to Mugi, I think I saw Mio slightly shaking her head.
Mugi smiled at me and began talking, " Well, I remember a time - not so far away from when you had your accident - when we were all walking - more precisely, crossing the street- and Mio just stood there in the middle of the road, as if she was - how do I say it- daydreaming, perhaps?" She took a sip of her tea and received a deadly glare from Mio.
" So? What if I stood there? It doesn't contribute to Ritsu's memories," she spoke with a grimace look.
No she's wrong. This has something more to it.
" Oh no? What about when you almost got ran over by a car if it wasn't for Ritsu, here- who quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the sidewalk as the car drove by you- you would be...you had us worried so much," she sighed, " to the point where we were all teaching you a lesson about paying more attention."
" Yea Mio! You were so dumb to do that!" Yui yelled out.
" How ironic," Azusa said, softening the anger boiling inside them.
But Yui and Mugi were right! Mio what was that for! Why did you stand there, you were always the tentative one. You had to have had a reason for dazing off. Didn't you?
" Baka. Why the hell would you do that!" I suddenly bursted out, unable to control my anger.
" I...it was nothing! Okay! Can you stop nagging about your memories already!" She slammed her hands on the table, leaving money for her coffee, and abruptly got up while wrapping the purse around her shoulder and reaching for the door. " I'm going ahead," she told us while leaving us in complete shock.
Damn! I did it now, didn't I? I told myself that I was crossing the line already, but, just ,,,fuck it all.
I got up in the same manner as Mio, hastily and rashly. Running towards her as fast as my feet could take me.
I need to apologize, I can't leave her like this. I'm the one at fault.
But I can't help but to see, to imagine the situation Mugi was telling us - me - about. Before the accident?
Mio, yes, I see her, she's standing motionless, her head hanging low, in the middle of the road.
I noticed she wasn't behind us so I turned to look, to see her in that position. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IDIOT!" Her head went up, but she was too late to react to what was going to happen.
I saw the car. My blood was rushing. Panic overwhelmed me. Sweat dripped down on every part of my body. I couldn't focus. I couldn't see the surroundings, only that car and Mio, those little pieces of the entire image were stuck in my view. That split second, I didn't even think, my body moved on its on. I reached out my arm towards her hand, I covered my palm around her wrist and pulled her with such force onto the sidewalk that we both fell hard - me on the pavement, her on top me. I gripped her shoulders with my two hands and when I made eye contact, I shouted, " YOU IDIOT! Do you know that you almost gave me a freaking heart attack!"
She stared at me like a broken doll, as if she didn't hear a thing, I could tell that she was still in shock. I folded my arms around her body, clenching it and squeezing it with all my might. I wanted to make sure she was still there, with me, alive. Silent sobs were heard. My eyes were drenched.
I felt Mio's arms around me. She was crying too. Our heartbeats were irregular, I could feel hers while she heard mine, both beating drastically, whilst finally slowing down to its original pace, our heartbeats collided and made one complete beat at a time.
Soon everyone came marching towards us, staring in awe. Mugi, Yui and Azusa tried to squeeze through and pat us for comfort, but later to yell at Mio, complaining and disciplining her.
Yes that memory. I remember it vividly. But why would Mio...
Ahh my head hurts. Not again. It must be from trying to remember.
That's why I said you shouldn't remember. That voice again.
Go away. Your annoying.
Hahaha, how can you say that to yourself?
Your the reason for these headaches aren't you?
Hmm... you can say that.
What do you want from me?
...It's pointless stop searching for your past memories. Can't you learn? You finally came to the conclusion that you wouldn't mess with the past and live a new life and now...
What do you know? It's not pointless! I'm remembering the past I held, without it I feel like I don't even exist, like I'm no one. Of course I'll be searching for it!
I'm your past! And I say, don't look for it! Don't, you'll hurt yourself...I'm trying to block it but if you keep on trying this hard... you'll find out the truth, trust me you don't want that.
But! I can't leave things like this!
You've gotten yourself another chance, live you're life anew.
But... what about Mio, I feel like I'm missing something about her. I need those memories to put it all back together.
Just let it go. You know she's getting married. Don't ruin her life with your foolishness... Don't raise your hopes.
What! What.. do you m-
You know what I mean, don't you?
...Yes...but why can't I-
It will only hurt you...and it will hurt her, trust me.
The cold wind blew through my coat, freezing my entire body, snapping me back to reality. I couldn't think of anything anymore. I didn't know what to do. But, right now what was important was to find Mio.
Not so far from me I could see Mio walking towards the studio. Her stomping on the pavement with her high heels, the sharp strokes she made with her arms, she was definitely mad.
I began to walk towards her with a slower pace until I felt a drop of water landing on my nose. Looking up into the dark clouded sky, more drops came streaming into my eyes and face. It was starting to pour. I could see Mio noticed it as well, as her speed -towards shelter- increased.
Oh shit, I should hurry, she doesn't have an umbrella.
I quickly approached her from behind, placing an umbrella on top of us.
" Are you alright, ojou-sama?" I gave her a big grin.
I could tell she wasn't expecting me as her eyes were staring at me in shock.
" Hey listen... I'm sorry, it's just without my memories I felt like I didn't exist. I was confused and..."
" You have nothing to apologize for, I was... mad at myself. It wasn't your fault." She turned her head away from me and continued walking, I followed.
There was a short silence before I came to a conclusion.
" Mio, remember I said I wanted to make new memories with you. I didn't lie, I do." I looked up at the darkness on top of me.
It will hurt you, and it will hurt her. The voice echoed.
" I understand now," I whispered.
I lost my memories for a purpose, didn't I? If I don't want to hurt Mio, I shouldn't remember them. But mark my words. No matter the distance we will face, no matter the pain in my heart, I will always protect her, no matter what. She will marry a man and I'll watch from the sides, I'll be her shadow. I still don't understand the entire thing but, isn't that what you wanted, Ritsu, when you planned this scheme?
My heart endured a sharp pain. But, my smile returned, brighter than before.
" Hahaha, so what are we waiting for? Let's go make them!" I folded my umbrella, caught her hand in mine and ran towards the studio, splashing the water from the excessive kicks I was making on the puddles, getting us both soaked in the process. I ignored her squealing and complaints by laughing as much as I could.
This is better, Mio. You're an ojou-sama, you can't ruin your reputation. Marry a man and fit with society. I'll be your shadow, so don't worry. I'll protect you. Always.
The rain was masking my tears. My voice began to crack, but I tried to continue on laughing. I didn't want Mio to feel guilt nor pain. I had to show her the happy side of everything. Mio can you tell? Did you already know that...
I love you.
Sorry if there are grammar mistakes, I didn't really edit it this time and if your confused about the memory thing, it's only natural, I'm getting to it little by little :) so yea you'll be able to find out the truth soon :D and if you're already having guesses, good for you! :D