Psychedelic III
Regrets and mistakes—
They're memories made.
/
And Uchiha Sasuke's doomsday clock ticks to one.
The guilt is unquenchable now. It is as if I'm carrying a weight on my shoulders. I have always carried the weight of hearts on my hands, because people have died countlessly before me. But I have never felt guilty for someone who was still alive, someone whose heart wasn't in my hands quite yet. However, as I watched him, his walking stance was still confident, strong and infallible. It was as if he wasn't dying tomorrow.
Almost.
But there is one thing that makes everything different. Today, he is walking to Sakura.
Ever since his return, the interaction between the pair had been minimal. Sasuke was aware that Sakura might've needed time to adjust to his return and perhaps to forgive him again, but she never even spared him a glance anymore. She just worked herself off on patients every day, and he assumed she was doing the same again. He was correct.
As he entered the hospital, the nurses didn't care for telling him that Sakura was busy. Who cared, anyway? He was dying tomorrow. Yeah, who cares. They just simply gave him the number of the room and watched him trotter off with countless accusing whispers behind him.
He saw that she was tending to many patients, and he stood against the side of the door, observing quietly. He wondered how long it would take her to realise her presence. Maybe she actually did already and just decided to brush it off. After minutes, Sasuke realised that the latter was probably what was happening.
"Sakura," he called, his voice deep and cautious. The last thing he wanted was a temperamental Sakura.
She didn't reply for a long time. When she did, she turned to him and leaned against the table, two arms crossed on her chest. She looked at him expectantly. "What do you want?" She trailed her eyes onto his body, noticing that he had no wounds for her to treat. Confusion swept through her.
Sasuke stalled for a moment. What did she mean, what did he want? Didn't she know…?
He cleared his throat, his onyx eyes piercing. She no longer blushed or flinched under his gaze anymore. "I am being executed tomorrow."
She returned to her utensils, setting them back into their ordered places in the drawers. He accepted that she was pondering. "So I have heard," her voice was unusually soft. She turned back to him again. "But you know that I know that already. What are you really here for, Sasuke?"
He hadn't heard the honorific of Sasuke-kun for three years now. Admittedly, it shook him. Her name calling now sounded so detached and uncaring, as if he no longer held the statue of importance that he used to.
"I thought you would want to talk," he replied, quieter this time.
She smiled. He noticed how her smile was no longer so innocent or carefree anymore. When she smiled, she looked so tired, so sick of life. Her smile was scarred and adulterated. "You deserve it," was all she said. It was a statement of fact.
Sasuke sighed, brushing his hair back with his hand. "Do you always have to take things so seriously?"
She laughed, a bitter, ironic laugh. "Do I, really?" She tapped her finger on her chin, being mockingly thoughtful. "You tried to kill me more times than I remember."
He scowled. "Well, you also did the same," he pointed out, stubborn.
She nodded, her tone of voice now finding a new blunt honesty. "Yes, I did. I tried to kill you for Naruto, for Konoha. Say Sasuke, why did you do it for, when you wanted to drill that lightning inside of me?"
He didn't reply.
"Did you even have a reason?" She could barely whisper it. She still believed, he could see, that she thought he considered her as a hindrance; someone who was merely in his way.
Her expression tightened. "One day Sasuke, you need to grow up," there was an edge of animosity in her voice, but his eyes narrowed, daring her to go on. "One day, you need to realise that you can't survive this world by yourself. You need emotions – respect, care, dignity. You need to learn that you're not better than everyone else. If anything, you're below us now."
She knew her words are bitter, perhaps more bitter than they should've been. She was all too aware of Sasuke's saving of her—but no matter how much she tries, she cannot be kind in front of him. She is so afraid, so afraid of being hurt by him. However, the truth is, she would always be hurt anyway.
Sasuke chuckled dryly. "You're still in love with me, Sakura."
And as the tears formed in her eyes, he knew that hit a notch. But he didn't realise that he swung her the wrong way. Her arms were no longer crossed on her chest, but on her sides, her fists clenching until they were a pale white. "I don't even know who you are anymore, Sasuke." All she could see was his arrogance, his complacency, his condescending aura. She couldn't see his blue.
And to be honest, I couldn't either.
She shook her head, biting her cheeks. "It doesn't even matter anymore… don't you realise?" She stared him straight in the eyes. She remembered how his eyes used to tranquilise her, how they made her feel so safe, so beautiful. "You've been dead for five years now, Sasuke. Just because you're dying tomorrow physically doesn't mean it'll change anything. It'll still be the same."
At those words, Sasuke grew angry. What happened to her? What happened to the Sakura that had all her individuality and was just herself? Now she seemed like a conformist who hated him just like the rest. What happened to the Sakura that loved him…
He clenched his jaws and walked towards her in long strides. She stared at him in fear. Not for him, but from him. His Sharingan was activated and his eyes now bled red. He took her by the shoulders, clasping her shoulder blades so strongly. "Do you still love me, Sakura?" His question was marred by fury. She felt the pain shaking through her veins at his grasp. She struggled to form her voice.
She smiled, a different one, a broken one. "Do you want me to lie or say the truth?" The tears were bottled up in her eyes.
"Lie," Sasuke answered. For once, he wanted a rejection that never sounded so beautiful to his ears. Or so he thought…
She steadied herself. "Alright."
Breathe in, out.
She grasped his cheek, stroking it so gently. He froze at the touch, staring at her with such intensity. It reminded of him when they were back in Team 7, when everything was flying colours. I remember it too. And this sheer moment between Sasuke and Sakura, white and blue, the two colours that made up the sky… broke me entirely. They were so tragic, these two. It was when you knew you loved them so much but…
A lone tear fell down her face. "I love you, Sasuke-kun."
…you had to let them go.
And when Sasuke needed to hear her last proclamation of love, it came in the most painful way. It burned in his head and he knew it was a lie. But his Sharingan remembered it, and it was forever buried into his mind. Maybe, if he repeated it for long enough, he could perfect it to the stage where it was the truth.
He let go of her shoulders.
She mustered the best smile that she could, but now her expression was a wrecked disaster. The tear stains reappeared and it hit her hard, it really did. In less than twenty-four hours, he would be dead. He would no longer have a beating heart, and she knew I would be standing above him. She knew that for the first and last time, she would be unable to save him from me.
She was useless.
She took another breath in. "I'm sorry," she said, peering up at him. She felt that she needed to say it then, but she didn't quite know if she meant it. She never knew what she felt anymore. "You should go now, Sasuke." don't leave me. don't leave me. don't leave me.
He nodded. I wonder how he always stayed so strong. It was impeccable. This was even when he knew that she was long gone from his grasp. Even when they were floating in an ocean, attempting to stay alive by holding together. Even when they had let go and were drifting away from each other in the distance. The worst thing about losing someone was that it was a failure. You watched them fade away.
You can never get her back, Sasuke.
He observed her as she returned once again to tending to the patients. He saw how she was struggling to stay standing and how her fingers trembled with every touch, but he had to leave. He had to leave now, or he wouldn't ever.
"Goodbye," he said. They both knew that it was more than a simple retreat at the end of a conversation.
At that, he swiftly twisted around, his back now facing her. He slammed the door behind him as he walked out of the hospital. Anything to forget…
Sakura stood staring at where he had been for no more than five seconds before she collapsed against the door and cried for the first time alone in many years.
/
I know.
I should have been proud by the news that Sakura had finally let go of Sasuke so I could have his finishing life all to me now, but I don't believe that anything could've made me feel a fraction happy at this resolution.
I've never been the type to be dancing around with the daises or down in the dumps because I've always been an ambiguous and at most times, nonchalant when it came to moods. However, I can assure you that some people manage making my job not so easy… namely Uchiha Sasuke. Nonetheless, it would not have been as hard without Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto. I knew that all too well.
As they say, there's nothing difficult about leaving. It's only the things you leave behind that makes it so.
And I suppose, Sasuke would be leaving a lot of things behind in life when his end arrived. He might be leaving more than he could ever imagine. You could say that it's insane for him not to try and get them back before his eyes close for the last time. But Sasuke has never been the person to do things. On the inside, he's a self-defeating boy who believes that he deserves nothing.
For certain, he's done a multiple amount of bad things, but they are nothing when they come into comparison to what I have done. He may have hands that are scarred with blood but I know that unlike him, my entire body is bludgeoned. Perhaps because of the fact I have been through more, I am more accepting to the extremes of personalities. However… for the first time, I can't find any justifications to taking his life away.
However, there was one person that Sasuke would want to be cradled in his arms when I took life away from him. And it wasn't the popular opinion that it would be one of his family members, because no matter how much he woke up from the endless massacre nightmares or painfully reminiscent dreams, he would never get them back. They were dead and gone.
Sasuke decided that he should be living in the present. Living in the past didn't do him much good.
He would always have desired—no, needed to know beyond doubt that Sakura still loved him. From day one, she was perfection. She was everything he wasn't, yet everything he would ever want, ever need. He knew that if he was so lucky to ever be endeared by her that he would receive the blessing of being purified by the innocence of her; because he was so broken down. Broken down by the Uchiha name. Broken down by Orochimaru. Broken down by Itachi. Broken down by Madara. Broken down by himself.
Sakura was white and he was black. He so hoped, for once, that with her he would be maintain that crystalline blue. I found it ridiculous that he would think he could never do that by just himself. Though Sasuke was seen as a heartless murderer, Sasuke did one thing the best. He made chances. He made change. He made life. He was the strength of so many people that he would never be aware of.
Later in the night on the same day of the brutal rejection from Sakura, Sasuke supposed that he had nothing left to lose. Could life really get any worse? I agreed that it couldn't... even if I had seen the quality of life being drilled down into the core of ground zero.
Sasuke supposed that he could pay one more visit to Sakura, because at least with trying, he had the chance of winning her back. After all, the love of Sakura made the prospect of being executed by firing squad not so horrid—despite the fact I, myself, believed that firing squad was one of the most defaming and cruel forms of execution. Perhaps only trailing behind hanging. It was still hard to differentiate, though.
He turned up at Sakura's suburban home after hours of wrestling with his thoughts, hours of defeating himself and hours of believing that the worst circumstance would happen. He came to Sakura's door with the same confidence and you have to do this mentality as he had earlier at the hospital, but he was so much more desperate.
He rang the bell once. Twice. She knew he was there.
She opened the door on the fourth ring, slowly, as if trying to unmask his appearance at her home as gradually as possible. She peeked through the gap of the door before his entire being came into reality. She looked up at him expectantly, however she couldn't ignore how the moonlight of the night highlighted the blue circles under his eyes, the wrinkles that were emerging and how damn tired and beaten he looked. How much he wasn't Sasuke, but at the same time, so right.
How much he was blue.
"What do you want?" She got to the point.
He stared at her, his eyes deader than she had ever seen them. She was frightened for him. How could he do this to himself? I thought that how he couldn't was the real question. Nonetheless, following pursing his lips, he spoke quietly. "To talk."
She sighed, rolling her eyes. "We have talked." Don't be so harsh, Sakura. He saved you. He saved you. Sasuke. Sasuke. You would be dead. Now he is. Sasuke. Saved you. She was attempting to hold up her façade for as long as she could, but she knew if he kept sparing time like this, she wouldn't last much longer.
"Sakura." He said, definitively, pleadingly. please. please let me in. because i promise, goddamn, i swear to you, i don't want to be on my deathbed tomorrow realising that i've lost you forever. realising that you're not mine, but i'm still yours. realising that i really have lost everything. you are my everything.
She replied with nothing and just opened the door completely to motion for him to come in. He walked past her, and when he did, she blinked away the tears. She turned away from the shadow of the door after doing so, making sure that she didn't appear as hurt as she really was, before watching him sit down on the couch and wait for her. The second she sat awkwardly down next to him, she felt the rush of the uneasy atmosphere. She felt the lies between them and everything that should've been said but was bit back with false bravado. Everything that was such a disaster, such a tragedy, such angst, such Sasuke and Sakura.
She was looking at the ground, unclenching and clenching his fists when she cast her watery eyes upon him. He was battling with himself—then again, when was he not? He breathed in before speaking, the crystalline blue trickling through his voice like the rejuvenation of winter rain. The colour she should've seen, but realised too late. "I'm sorry," he started with, and at first she couldn't believe it, however when she looked through the words and stretched her ears enough, the sincerity and the absolute pain and regret was there.
He finally brought up the courage to look into her eyes, and when he did, his was a mirror of hers. She broke. sasuke, oh god, sasuke. sasuke. don't cry. sasuke. i love you. I LOVE YOU. sasuke-kun.
"I always end up like this," he mumbled, ashamed of himself, ashamed of everything that he done. Everything in the past, the present, and what would come of the future. Ashamed of how he had hurt her. "I can't seem to ever give you want, Sakura. I can't ever say the right thing, or do the right thing, or even know what the right thing is. I can't—fix you. And even though I have all the power of the world, being the last Uchiha survivor... I have the Mangekyou. I have my brother dead. I have everything I would have ever wanted, yet, I have nothing. Because Sakura..."
He looked like was going to choke. He was struggling. "...Because... I don't have you," he finished. He brought his hand into hers, and she was shaking, shaking so much. She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't help to think what a mistake she had made earlier in the day lying to him, because now he believed she didn't love him, when God, she did.
The resilient defensive mechanism of a smirk appeared on his face. The expression she knew was something she had seen before. It was an exact replica of the very night he had defected from Konoha. "After all this time, you're still soannoying, Sakura. So, so annoying..." because even if i don't ever deserve any part of you, i still want it, and i still need it. i'm still as selfish as a bastard as ever, because i still strive after your love. so, say you love me. say you love me and mean it. or don't mean it at all. i would take anything now.
This time, she saw through his words. She didn't flinch back at the unforgettable phrase or act irrationally in response. She understood all the cracks in his eyes and how every second he was dying, but yet, still needed her. She laughed weakly and the same light and feathery rosy blush that he had missed for so long sprung onto her cheeks, along with a sweet, small smile. She squeezed his hand and together, they became the white and blue that I would never give up on them being. They became their own rainbow, their own sky. I cherished them.
"Sasuke-kun," she spoke, childishly with the untouched persona that she was, "you're so silly." She pinched his cheeks and only gave her a half-hearted glare. This was her own way of forgiving him and forgetting that he really was being executed tomorrow. They could pretend...
Her eyes took a more serious turn. "Sleep with me. Let's just lie together, Sasuke-kun." because i want to have you before i lose you, too. To anyone else's ears it would've sounded like a sexual invitation, but it wasn't. It was chaste. He comprehended that she wanted to feel everything that she was going to lose. She wanted to embrace everything about him that could've been—everything that they could've been. This was some wretched but wonderful form of emotional suicide, but she wanted to take the jump.
She stood up from the couch and walked up to the stairs where her bedroom was. "Will you, Sasuke-kun?" Her voice was soft and her eyes were warm, and he would never have the will to disagree. He wanted to take the jump.
So, she undressed into her pajamas and he simply took his shirt off before they laid in bed together, staring up at the ceiling. He pulled the quilt over them for comfort and following that, he wrapped his muscular arm around her waist, hauling her towards his side and brushing her forehead with the most gentle of kisses. It was like a dream, and perhaps, it was. It was as if they were a newly-wed couple, about to enjoy the rest of their years.
"Sakura?" his husky voice broke through the comfortable silence.
She tilted her body to face him. "Hmm?" She opened her eyes to see him crying.
"...H-Hn," is all he managed. sakura, i love you. can you... just for tonight?
He looked disoriented and muddled with as he cried, but it didn't matter, because she was crying as well. "Thank you." of course i will. but for the rest of my life.
Her hot breath fanned over Sasuke's face, and he just held her closer. Their tears melded together, the mutuality erupting like a supernova explosion. They were both aware that this would be the last time they could ever be this close.
/
On the morning of Sasuke's execution, the sky had never been so bright, so vibrant with colours. With my millions of years of age, I have never seen anything quite striking.
Throughout the night the lone Uchiha had not slept any second. He had just sat upright for every passing hour next to Sakura, watching her sleep. Admittedly he hadn't seen her sleep at all that often, but even if he had, he wouldn't have ever seen her as more beautiful as she was now. It was as if today wasn't the day he was being executed, how peaceful she looked. It was as if it was a fine, new day for Team 7 to be renewed again.
Her pink hair was tangled everywhere on the pillow, and she leant sideward towards him, one arm across her chest and the other clenching the quilt to her. She looked so snuggly and warm, but he could still see the hints of tears on her face. The question still remained in his head though, had she really lied yesterday? Had she really stopped loving him, the man she said she would for forever five years ago?
And even though five years was a long time (more than superfluous to allow for change), he thought he had never felt more perfect, sitting next to her in a bed.
Usually the stereotype was that the couple would engage in love making and then wake up to see each other and that would conclude as the most peaceful moment in their life, but Sasuke had never been a type for physical contact. Indeed, I had known that for quite a while. He wasn't much of a man for words either. Even if he preferred to live without physical contact, this didn't mean that his actions didn't communicate the most. Sasuke believed that this very chaste and innocent zeitgeist quite fit them.
Sakura was never one for being a rush, anyway. She was always so endearing in a gentle and quiet way. She hadn't even made Sasuke cuddle or hug her. She just wanted him to stay for the night, and he knew she wouldn't have minded if he slept on the couch downstairs. But he felt for tonight, just tonight, he would.
He stared at her, piercingly. It was the early morning, about six 'o' clock. The sunlight had already appeared and was lying softly on her face, as if highlighting her angelic paleness. If only… if only… Sasuke shook his head. He knew just as well as I did that in a matter of some mere hours, his heart would stop beating. He had to let her go. Even though he knew that he could quite easily make Sakura cling to him and be his for the rest of her living days, he wouldn't. That would be much too selfish.
So he silently stood from the bed. He spent quite a while, I remember, looking at Sakura before he even made an effort to leave the bedroom. He also spent quite a while appearing to be on the verge of anguish. I knew Sasuke would never cry about such a romantic issue as this, but his eyes never seemed to have so many cracks than at this moment. Once he was done, he took a shuddered intake of breath and then slowly made his exit.
As he left her cosy and small house that seemed to be growing its own arms, grasping him and attempting to pull him back in, he shook the thoughts off and dialled a simple, memorable number on his mobile phone.
It only took three rings.
"Naruto, let's have some ramen."
The Uzumaki had never heard such words in the entirety of his eighteen years of life.
/
The soon-Hokage was more than beaming as he approached Sasuke in the all too familiar ramen stand.
Naruto today was painted quite wonderfully in the colour of yellow. Though both were aware of the impending fate, I had never seen him so happy, so delightful. Naruto was always the type to live in the moment. In the next few hours, he and Sasuke would be perfect. Like the brothers they would've been.
"Teme," he yelled to the Uchiha, grin nearly stretching over his face, "I told you that one day you'd ask me for some ramen!"
Sasuke just scowled and beckoned for Naruto to walk faster and sit down. Naruto teasingly took his time, but let out a sigh of solid relief as he sat down. With two arms braced behind his head, he just laughed. But soon, his expression changed to that of irritating and exploding curiosity.
Sasuke knew that expression all too well, and his scowl deepened – but Sasuke wasn't at all that angry.
"Where were you yesterday, teme?" At this, Naruto leaned forward, his grin suddenly becoming more deceptive. It was as if he already knew the answer, but wanted Sasuke to spit it out. The Uchiha's thin lips were set into a line, stubborn.
"None of your business, dobe," Sasuke replied, dismissively. He graced the cup of water in his hands and took a sip slowly, though his eyes averted elsewhere.
Naruto stuck his tongue out like a young child and laughed again. Sasuke was irritated by his still-existing youth. "I know you were with Sakura-chan," Naruto burst into a fit of laughter after saying such: his pronunciation of 'Sakura-chan' was much too childish, suggestive and high pitched.
The other boy just glared at him, muttering some words of encaging his best friend into a painful illusion of his Sharingan soon, but he was still submissive. "Fine," Sasuke hissed, and Naruto just laughed further at this dramatic antic, "I was with her."
Then, Naruto's expression was washed with understanding. Sasuke seemed utterly bothered with Naruto intruding with 'his business,' and this only proved that Sakura was a touchy subject to him. To most people Sasuke didn't show that much importance towards Sakura, but unfortunately for him, Naruto could actually read between the lines.
"I'm going to miss you too, you know, Sasuke," Naruto said, as if it was a reminder, as if Sasuke didn't know.
Sasuke just nodded stiffly. "I know."
Naruto smiled tentatively. "I will, a lot," he choked on the last two words, and the Uchiha quickly found himself wound up in his constricting arms.
Sasuke shuffled uncomfortably in the grip. "Dobe, you're choking me!"
Naruto let go gradually. "I'm sorry, Sasuke," he said quietly, feeling that it needed to be said. "I could've done more for you." i could've done more to save you.
The Uchiha shook his head, wanting more than anything to end the uncomfortable subject. "You brought me back," he stated, reassuringly.
And back then, two years ago, that would've been enough to say, because it was their goal. It had always been Team 7's goal to reunite their team again, and that meant bringing Sasuke to Konoha. Back then, it would have been more than enough. But now, things had changed. Now, Sasuke was being executed.
Naruto directed his sad, pearly blue eyes towards Sasuke, whom grunted. He waved his hand at the kyuubi, as if attempting to end the conversation. "Naruto, you tried the best that you can." you did more than enough for someone like me.
Said boy just laughed, wearingly, remorsefully. "I could have tried more," Naruto pressed, and he was right. He could have. He never had a limit, that boy. However I knew all too well that no matter how hard he had tried, I would always have come to Sasuke. I was inescapable.
Sasuke was now clutching his cup strongly, grudgingly. "Naruto, that's enough," he commanded, and his voice was so domineering and frustrated that Naruto knew he had to listen. It wasn't because Sasuke wasn't one for personal subjects; it was because he never wanted to see the pain he had caused over the years. He didn't want to face it. He looked down at the table almost regretfully. "The Hokage has made her choice."
And that was really all that needed to be said, for Naruto would only succeed Tsunade next year… far too late.
/
Naruto watched as his best friend was being pulled by ANBU members into the prison on death row.
He didn't want to believe it one bit, but it was happening. They chained him up brutally, not caring if some of the locks were too tight on his skin, or if some of their weapons 'accidentally' scraped him. He clenched his teeth and bore his hands into fists, however he couldn't do anything. He just watched helplessly. Uselessly.
I did too. I had to abide by the decision.
His eyes shimmered with tears and they actually looked like the glistening waves of the ocean. The entire time, Sasuke wore a smirk on his face and stared at Naruto. this is it. don't cry, dead last. The blonde held on a smile in response.
Naruto checked the clock on the wall of the sentencing room. 11:30am. He was being executed at midday. Thirty measly minutes... Where was Sakura?
Sasuke seemed to read his thoughts. "I don't want her to come, Naruto." i don't want to have her see me die and endure through that agony again.
Naruto's continuous answering smile was enough of a reply. yeah, well. we still wouldn't miss it. not for the world.
/
Haruno Sakura woke up rather late on that morning.
Drearily moving her hand through the bed, she realised that there was an empty space where there had not been before. The pillow was cold next to her. She immediately threw herself up in a sitting position. Sasuke? Her mind seemed to scream.
She looked at the digital clock next to her bed. 11:40am. 11:40am.
She took a while to comprehend that it was ten minutes before Sasuke's execution, and when she did, she abruptly got off the bed and hurriedly dressed herself, dashing out of her home and running as fast as she did when she last woke up and realised Sasuke had left Konoha.
She wasn't going to let him leave them forever this time without a second glance.
/
When she arrived at the site of Sasuke's execution—ironically at the Valley of the End—the identity of Sasuke was already being announced.
11:50am.
There were many Konoha residents, however some of the Sound residents had unknowingly arrived to the event, the notoriety of Sasuke having of course reached their location. There was also a newly constructed metal fence separating the executors and Sasuke from the crowd, and Sakura readily pushed herself amongst the crowd, even using some of her strength at given cases to get to the front.
Sasuke was still hooded and kept against a wooden post as was the tradition for execution by shooting squad, but Sakura ached to see his onyx eyes as she clung to the fence.
11:52am.
"Here lies Uchiha Sasuke," the executor announced, and Sakura thought it was rather morbid as it made the setting sound like a funeral. I supposed that after not long, it would become one. "Uchiha Sasuke is being held today because of his numerous committed crimes, including a defection from Konoha, affiliation to Otogakure and the criminal clan of Akatsuki and ultimately an attempted siege on Konoha with Uchiha Madara. Uchiha Sasuke has progressed into an S-rank missing-nin and by the order of Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, has been sent for execution by shooting squad for, definitively, treason."
The executor then leant towards Sasuke. "Does the persecuted have any last words before he is executed?"
11:55am.
Had Sasuke not been wearing a hood, everyone would have seen his smirk as he spoke. "To have myself executed with open eyes." The statement was so bold and frank that whispers swept through the crowd, most of them (as Sakura could eavesdrop on) comprising of the wonderment for the reason of why he would want to do that. Even the executors seemed to be taken back, but nonetheless, they unravelled the hood from his head carefully.
The second the clothing was taken off, his eyes immediately met with Sakura's, and his smirk only increased. so you came.
Sakura felt a warm clasp of a hand reach hers, and looking beside her, she saw Naruto, his eyes once again brimming with tears. They both nodded and looked towards Sasuke who had not stopped staring at them. However, something was different. He was mouthing words.
you could be happy.
11:58am.
From that, Naruto couldn't hold in the tears and his head collapsed onto Sakura's shoulder, sobbing. The crowd turned to them and I hope, that for once, they acknowledged them the way that I did. The Team 7 that went through so much anguish and held so strong, even if they didn't deserve much of the treatment that they received. I knew that Team 7 was not completed today with the absence of Hatake Kakashi, however, no matter how much he was late by, he would always come at the most opportune time... exactly as I had before. And today, he did the same.
11:59am.
Kakashi arrived on the other side of Naruto and he ruffled his hair comfortingly. When the sensei finally looked at Sasuke, he had to hold in the tears himself. This boy was his prodigy. He honestly didn't care how many cases of treason he had committed—this boy was, and always will be, his son of some sorts. Wrapping their arms amongst each other, they brought each other in with as much perseverance as they could. The best that they could make with a minute left.
A minute.
Sixty seconds.
The executors cocked their guns and posed themselves into the according position, standing all in front of Sasuke. Even with this, the brilliant boy did not take his eyes away from the members of (his) Team 7. Even as I entered into his body, unwillingly wrapping my arms around him into the constricting death hold and watching his clock tick down, he held himself with the crystalline blue that he would always return to.
No Sharingan. No Uchiha name. No blood on his hands. No curse mark. Just Sasuke.
My hold became tighter and tighter. i'm sorry, sasuke. i'm so sorry.
Yes. For once, I was sorry. Truly.
With ten seconds left, Sakura clenched the metal fence. She mouthed her own words. The answer Sasuke had always been waiting for, his entire life.
sasuke-kun, i love you so much.
I believe that after the confession when he gazed up to the interlocked blue, white, yellow and green sky of Team 7, he saw more than just his father, mother and brother. I believe that he saw me too, looking down at him, and for the first time in my life with him, I saw him smile at me.
12:00pm...
it's okay, he seemed to be saying to me. you can do this.
My thousand hearts stopped beating. I told you it would happen.
I can assure you, my heart was breaking much more than the entire of Team 7. But, my thousand hearts took pace again, and I nodded, draining all of his life with my hands. The executors cocked their guns for the last time, and within a millisecond, hundreds of bullets were shot. The sound was unforgettable. It echoed through the Valley of the End, rocketing through the mountains and sailing over the seas. Everyone, at that time, was silent.
As Sasuke's head fell limp, Sakura buried her head into hands, falling onto her knees, crying uncontrollably. Naruto followed not soon after, only leaving their sensei standing. He could not stop staring at Sasuke's motionless body. He had lost him. They all had.
Up above, Tsunade turned away from the Hokage tower window and was not afraid to cry herself.
I let go of Sasuke's body, shocked by the feeling of having actually killed him. Astounded. Appalled. Ashamed. Destroyed. I have never cried myself in my entire life time, and I don't believe I can even produce tears. However, I was never meant to be able to feel emotions either, and that was thrown at the window. In this moment, I spent more time than I usually would caressing Sasuke's cold cheek with my hand and secretly pleading that his eyes would open, though I knew it not to be true.
I clasped my arms around him as he was carried away by the executioners, his body covered with a leather bag. I felt his soul sizzle through his body and vibrate through my own, reaching up to the heavens.
I know that in the past I have weighed up many momentous moments, such as Sasuke's defection, Itachi's death and of course, the undeniable weight of the execution. Nevertheless, I was prepared to not be faced with any more of these periods as Sasuke had died, but Konoha once again proved me wrong. Kakashi leant down to the fallen Naruto and Sakura and threw his arms around the both of them, saying nothing. Shortly after, the friends of the group being Ino, Shikamaru, Shino, Kiba, Lee, Gaara, Hinata and many more joined the embrace. I watched the crowd accumulate into the enormous collection and soon all of the residents that had arrived at the execution were holding themselves all together, side by side, hand in hand.
Nobody had really thought... what would life be without Uchiha Sasuke?
In the end, it didn't really matter that he was an S-rank missing-nin. It didn't matter that he attempted siege on Konoha. It didn't matter that he had become a part of opposition groups such as the Akatsuki. It didn't matter that at some parts of his life, he had morphed into evil. And this was the end, and all that mattered was that he was originally a Konoha ninja, and he would always be treasured. They had ignored the truth that he died being one too, but when the guns were unloaded, it became all too blatant.
He was Sasuke. Member of Team 7. The reason of Hatake Kakashi. The growth of Uzumaki Naruto. The heart of Haruno Sakura. Yet, at this time, everyone felt the loss. But after all, as they say, you only realise what you had when you lose it. And having loved and lost is better than having had nothing at all.
They all obtained the blessing of having had Uchiha Sasuke, and I could thoroughly support that.
And that was enough.
/
Who would have known how...
Bittersweet this would taste?
um. I loved this story. So I wrote raw and unedited angst. And I'm pretty damn proud of it. I still love this. Many moments while writing the story my own eyes were brimming with tears. I literally felt the pain of something I had created. Man, this was tragic. I probably will come back to edit it though, because I'm pretty OCD, but I feel accomplished.
Don't hate me for actually executing Sasuke, but I wanted my story to be different from others. I didn't want to have the whole ordeal where somehow he unrealistically gets saved, because the whole purpose of this story was to accentuate the tragedy that was Sasuke, and interlock him with Death, who was the narrator. It was basically tying up all loose ends. I've got to say I loved writing as Death because it's such a complex personality.
Reviews are very much appreciated. :)Thank you for all the story alerts/favourites!