A/N: As I am writing this I am being bombarded with ants crawling on the desk- ARGH IT'S A SPIDER (three millimetres small).
That's it I can't take all of this anymore!
*pulls a grenade out*
Concerned Friend: Um, that might be a bit much...
Me: TRY AND STOP ME! ANY LAST WORDS!?
Concerned Friend: You don't own Skulduggery Pleasant?
ME: DAMN RIGHT!
*Detonates grenade and everything it blown to smithereens*
At least all the ants are gone now- Frick where's my keyboard!?
Chapter 5 That Birthday Present
"I got you something"
"You didn't need to" (meaning; 'Hell yes you needed to, and it better be good)
"Just to show how much I care"
"That's really sweet"
Present is handed.
Present is unwrapped.
Present is stared at.
"Skulduggery, this isn't what I think it is"
"I thought you'd like a piece of me everywhere you go"
"This really better not be what I think it is"
"Oh, it is. Well Van Gogh the lower part of his left ear to his girl friend- well a prostitute, but still I'm sure there were affections and I thought 'why not?'"
"Why not? I'll tell you why not Skulduggery Pleasant; I do not want your pinkie finger that was made into a pendant"
"Actually it's a proximal phalange along with the intermediate and distal phalange of my little finger of my left hand; it's been made into a pendant and also has a 18 carat gold necklace"
"Skulduggery, this is not a present that you give your girlfriend for her birthday"
"Who wouldn't want a piece of me for a birthday present?"
"Is your ego seriously that big that you would believe I would want your pinkie finger?"
"My darling you have yet to realise the vast space which is my so called ego. Just to expand on it I'll tell you that birthday present is a part of a set"
"Oh no"
"Oh yes"
"I hate you"
"I love you too"
A/N: Don't worry I'm sure Skulduggery has a big chocolate cake and roses waiting for her.