A/N: I started writing this straight after I finished the last chapter. Seem to have a lot of free time now. I've entered my competition entries for various writing competitions, let's hope I win. I would like more money for my book fund. Anyway more time to write more chapters for Crack.
Skulduggery: What a sad life you live
Me: I have a comeback which I'm saving for you but I'm not going to use it right now

Skulduggery: Well at least you don't own me

Me: True. How sad. *sniffle*

Chapter 9 That Long Night Part 2

"Isn't this such a nice surprise!" squealed Valkyrie's mother, she couldn't seem to figure why her daughter was scowling in such an unpleasant way.

"Yes it is" Valkyrie said through her grinding teeth.

"Well Stephanie, introduce him to your father" said her mum. Valkyrie looked at her father and pointed to Skulduggery.

"Dad this is Bruce Pleasant" she said thinking of the lamest name she could think of, "He's my boyfriend" Though he might not be after tonight she thought still cringing at what Skulduggery had done. Her father cocked an eyebrow as Skulduggery waved a gloved hand.

"Nice to meet you sir" said Skulduggery reaching over the table to shake hands with her father. Her father still dumbstruck almost forgot to shake it.

"Shall we have dinner?" her mother said smiling as if the sun would never stop shining.

"Mum, can I have a word with Bruce for a moment" she asked and without waiting for a reply she took Skulduggery by the hand and led him upstairs into her old room ignoring her mother's words of 'How cute they are' back in the dinning room.

Valkyrie pushed Skulduggery in the room and closed the door in a huff.

"I don't see why we need to talk now you can thank me later Valkyrie" said Skulduggery with laughter is his voice. Valkyrie sat him on her bed and paced the room.

"This is not funny Skulduggery. Not funny at all. What if they recognize you? What if they find out you're a skeleton? Mum with have a heart attack!"

"Don't worry I have this all planned out"

"Planned out!? She's expecting you to eat and drink Skulduggery! How on earth are you going to do that? Have you fitted a vacuum cleaner in you?"

"And I have a bag in my ribcage, so it will all fall there"

"And you're dressed like an Eskimo!"

"I have an excuse. Look. Just treat this as payback for forcing me to go to your year twelve prom six years ago"

"You went willingly! You even said it was nice afterwards"

"You threatened to go with Fletcher Renn! And that wouldn't be allowed. I'm sure they would allow lesbian couples. And it wasn't nice at all, some girl threw up all over me, my bones reeked for days"

"Still- I can't believe. Skulduggery. How could- Argh!"

Skulduggery stood up and took her in his arms.

"Don't worry. I have this all planned out. It will be fine"

Valkyrie eased into the familiar embrace.

"But- it's so risky!" she whined.

"I'll handle things. It's only one night"

Valkyrie hugged the thin body underneath the clothing.

"Bruce eh?" said Skulduggery, "So lame. Should of called me something cooler"

"You deserve it" she said breathing in the musky scent of old clothes.

"Well it could've been worse. After all now I'm named after a superhero who dresses up as a bat. At least I'm not a Clark who wears his underpants out side his suit" he commented. Valkyrie laughed softly. Skulduggery kissed her head.

"Come, you're parents are waiting for us"

They went downstairs again Valkyrie having calmed down. She could hear her parents in the dining room still.

"Stephanie Pleasant" said her mother to her father, "How does that sound to you?"

"Entirely pleasant" her joked grimly as they walked in. There was silence for a while until her mother smiled.

"Shall we have dinner?" she said and they all sat down her mother making sure Valkyrie sat next to Skulduggery.

"Don't you want to take of that coat and scarf Bruce?" asked her mother.

Hurdle No.1 though Valkyrie.

"No thank you Mrs. Edgley, I'm a bit under the weather and I'm trying to sweat it out" he answered in a polite manner.

"Then those sunglasses?"

"I'm a bit sensitive to light, even the smallest of it I'm afraid. They don't bother you do they? I can take them off-"

"No! No! It's alright leave them on" said her mother quickly. Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery and could see that he would be smiling at her. He was playing the perfect boyfriend for her parents. If only they knew.

"So Bruce" said her father still not keen on the though of his precious daughter having a boyfriend, "What do you do for work?" They all had begun to put food on their plate but Skulduggery at first took only a bread roll.

"I work in the police force" he said with the lone roll on his plate, "Undercover stuff most of the time"

"Ah. That's interesting. Is that how you met Stephanie? She works with the police too- Don't you dear" said her mother. Valkyrie stared at Skulduggery's bread roll. He hadn't done anything though her mother and father had started eating.

What's wrong she said sending the words in a strip of air to Skulduggery.

I've forgotten how to use a knife and fork he sent back.

What?

It's been years since I-

Just watch me!

Valkyrie took her cutlery in her hands and started to carved out a leg of chicken for herself and then took some salad. Skulduggery eyed her for a moment and then to her relief he started to put more things into his plate and pretend to eat, maneuvering it around the scarf and into his mouth.

"Yes I work in the police force mum" she said putting a piece of carrot into her mouth.

"You know the funny thing" her mother said to Skulduggery, "Stephanie has never mentioned you Bruce. Never"

"Really?" said Skulduggery faking a surprised tone, "We've been dating for a while"

"I'm just a bit shy" Valkyrie said, "And me not telling you didn't stop him from meeting you it seems".

Her mother laughed.

"That" she said, "Was a most interesting phone call"

"Indeed" said Skulduggery.

"I was very surprised that Stephanie had a boyfriend"

"Why is that" asked Valkyrie.

"Well you never seemed to be interested in anyone during high school and you certainly don't seem to be the type to go after boys. But I guess I'm sort of happy now. That you've found someone"

"How old are you?" asked Valkyrie's father who it would seem was pointing daggers at Skulduggery. Well he brought it on himself. Skulduggery faked swallowing his food and answered.

"I'm turning thirty soon" he said.

"Six years difference" said her mother, "Well age doesn't matter nowadays and I guess back in history it was common for a quite a big gap-"

"Any relationships before Stephanie?" said her father. Yes though Valkyrie Interrogate him! He deserves it!

"Yes" said Skulduggery, "I was married before but she died seven years ago"

So he decided to tell them about that…

"Oh. I'm so sorry to here that" said Valkyrie's mother.

"It's alright. I miss her and I think of her from time to time but it's Stephanie who I love"

Valkyrie choked on a piece of chicken and Skulduggery patted her back.

"How sweet of you" said her mother, "Isn't that right dear"

"Yes, sweet"

"So have you thought about children?"

This time Valkyrie had to cough several pieces of food out into a napkin and Skulduggery had to stop food from almost falling out of his mouth.

"Well we-" Skulduggery started.

"We haven't gotten that far mum"

"Children are a serious issue"

"We won't be thinking about that for a long time"

"We would need to be prepared"

"I'm still young mum"

"I know, I know" said her mother, "But still children are nice to think about. Which reminds me of this fantastic wedding dress from Valkyrie's grandmother. Absolutely splendid. Would you like to see Bruce?"

"I think another time Mrs. Edgley" said Skulduggery still recovering from the last discussion.

"Of course" replied Stephanie's mother, "I wouldn't want to impose on you too much after all this is the first time we have met in person. But you seem like a good fellow. Valkyrie must be very happy; I hope you see her a lot"

"Oh yes will live together so we get to see each other a lot" answered Skulduggery. Valkyrie almost broke the plate with the knife she was using to carve some chicken. Her mother and father were silent and looked from Skulduggery to Valkyrie.

"She hasn't told you" Skulduggery noted as the silence continued.

"No, Valkyrie seemed to forgot that" her father said looking as if he was about to kill Skulduggery, just like any father would if he knew someone who was a complete stranger to himself was living with his most beloved daughter.

"Yes, I think I just forgot to mention that" she said.

"Well it's nice to see you two are so confident about your relationship. Not many young couples could survive a move in" her mother commented trying to bring the conversation alive.

"Well, we care for each other a lot" Valkyrie said, "And we are quite happy living together. Really. We help each other in our work as well, with the rent so it's all good"

Her father looked sadly at her. His little girl was growing up…

They finished eating and moved onto dessert. Her dad stopped acting too hostile to Skulduggery after they had a conversation about their favourite songs and sports teams and her mother went on and on about embarrassing topics but Valkyrie managed stopped her from taking out a photo album. This amused Skulduggery. By the time Valkyrie had managed to peel Skulduggery and herself away from her parents she was worn out.

"Drive safe dear. Please visit more often, you too Bruce. We would love to see you at anytime" said her mother on the door steps of the house. Valkyrie smiled and waved goodbye and entered the Bentley.

"See that wasn't too bad" said Skulduggery. Valkyrie sighed rubbing her temples.

"They tried to get you to wear my grandfather's tux"

"Well it was alright. We're alive aren't we?"

"I don't see why anyone would want to go through that. Let's go home please"

Skulduggery started the car and started to drive.

"Valkyrie would you marry someone like me?"

"What?"

"I'm just asking. Your mum made me think a bit. It's just that you know how much you'll be giving up"

Valkyrie was silent. She hadn't though about it at all, but now her mind ran through all the conversations her mother had pulled up. Would that be possible with Skulduggery.

"Magic makes you live longer do you think you could live a long time and not miss a normal life"

"Life's never normal"

"A life where you could live without fear of getting attacked, have children, watch them grow up and die most likely in a peaceful way. You'll miss that one day. And with me you now children are really impossible"

"You mean a life without magic you mean and without my wonderfully egotistical boyfriend" she said.

"Without your wonderfully egotistical boyfriend" he repeated.

Valkyrie succumbed to the silence again.

"I like life this way. I can't leave it now. And I'll miss you too much" she added she took his gloved hand and smiled at him.

"And children aren't totally impossible" she said.

"Valkyrie if we adopted a baby we would be ruining the life of an innocent human being"

"Still not impossible. It would have an awfully fun childhood and a great mother"

"And I guess it would have the most brilliant father on the planet"

"We'll see Skulduggery" she said as they arrived at their home, "There's a lot of time a head of us".

"I love you" said Skulduggery.

Valkyrie smiled.

"I love you too"

They continued driving while Valkyrie smiled contentedly.

"Would you marry someone like me Skulduggery?" she asked when they were nearly home.

"Oh look we have some mail!" said Skulduggery as they parked the car.

"Skulduggery you didn't answer me" she said getting out of the car.

Skulduggery ran for the door.

"Skulduggery!"

A/N: SOO CORNY! YAY! Wow some actual plot in this story. Didn't think I'd be able to pull it off did you? Soo long too. I can't believe how long. Next chapters will be shorter and probably less serious (I need a break). In the word document this is over six pages. If I didn't split this one it would be sooo long. Wah almost 2000 words.

I find writing these very enjoyable. I get to test out different writing styles and everything.