Author's Notes: The router for my computer is out so I'm sitting in the library trying to get ahold of the wireless. As I write this, I can't get ahold of any wireless connections. So, while I wait for my mom to get finished with her work, I decided to let my laptop charge and type out another chapter of Fang in Wonderland. I got the Alice in Wonderland DVD for my birthday so I was hit by inspiration once more. We're about halfway through with this story, I'd venture to say. So expect about 8 more chapters, I think. This story has gotten a nice following so I'm pretty proud of that. There's a lot of dialogue in this chapter, so if that's not your cup of tea I apologize.

"So, a dragon huh? That's… That's a really clichéd evil-guy pet to have, don't you think?" Fang looked up at Zelos from his position on the ground. The redhead was standing up and stretching his legs after their nutritious dinner of headless rabbit.

"I don't get a say in his antics. If I did, his name would actually be King Dickhead and he wouldn't be parading around with the face of my once upon a best friend," Zelos scowled.

"… Is it a big dragon?" Fang found his voice sounded a little too meek for it's own good.

"Oh, it's a fucking beast," Zelos laughed.

"That's just great," the teenager groaned, burying his head into his knees.

"You volunteered to help me, kid. Helping me consists in slaying a dragon and regaining power of a once mighty kingdom. Sorry it couldn't have been more simple; like, borrowing a cup of sugar," the chosen one sneered.

Fang lifted his head and rested it atop of his dirty knees. "So… How do you go about killing a dragon?"

"Stab it a couple hundred times, I'd venture to say," Zelos shrugged.

"Well, that simplifies things," came the sarcastic teenagers reply.

"Hey, you volunteered."

"Stop reminding me," Fang stood up now. "Can we get moving? I want to get this over with."

"Sure thing," the redhead piped, "First thing's first. We gotta get you a sword!"

Fang blinked, "… Why?"

"You can't kick the damn beast into submission with a pair of Keds," Zelos scowled, looking down his nose at Fang's sneaker, "You need to stab it. Stabbing is done with a sword. Or a spoon if you've got real dedication."

"How do you know these are called Keds?" was the only response Fang could come up with.

"Cause it's plastered on the side of your shoe," Zelos scoffed at him.

"Oh."

Zelos stretched out like a lazy house cat. "'Oh' is very correct, my good ward."

"Don't call me a ward," Fang scowled.

"Get up get up get uuuup!" Zelos began pushing at Fang obnoxiously. He grabbed him by the shoulders and began tugging at the teenager repeatedly.

"Ugh, fine! Fine! I'm up!" Fang stood now, letting his wings spread and the feathers ruffle.

"That simplifies things immensely. I say that with absolutely no sarcasm too," Zelos informed him, looking the wings over with a calculating look.

"We're going to fly, then? To wherever we have to go to get this sword?" Fang blinked.

"Sure as hell beats walking. Besides, the only people in the court of King Dickhead that can fly is his pigheaded dragon. We fly, we eliminate most odds of running into enemies," the redhead crossed his arms over his chest now as he explained the situation to the avian-hybrid that towered above him.

Fang made a face to which Zelos replied to with his very own sneer, "What are you grimacing about, kid?"

"If we run into the dragon while we're in the air?" Fang inquired.

"Then I hope you're a fast flyer."

"Oh that's strangely not reassuring in any way, shape, or form," the teenager scowled.

"We bicker a lot."

"Huh?"

Fang stared down at Zelos in confusion of the obvious, yet sudden, observation.

Zelos shrugged, "I mean, we argue a TON. That's not normal, seeing as how we're on the same team and all. We're helping each other too. We should unbicker."

"Unbicker isn't a word."

"What did I just say, kid? We're stopping our bickering as of NOW," he accompanied his firm declaration with a poke to Fang's nose.

"Because it's really that simple," Fang rolled his eyes.

"It really really really is, my dear ward."

"Why am I always a ward or a kid? My name is Fang. Not Kid or dear ward," Fang groaned.

"Your constant complaining is the reason for our bickering," Zelos decided. "So stop being a whiney bitch."

"I'm not a whiney bitch!" Fang exclaimed childishly. Zelos just did not bring out his nicest, more mature, personality traits.

"See, that's just the sort of thing a defiant whiney bitch would say to somebody who informed them that they are, in fact, a whiney bitch," The redhead smirked.

"You are absolutely hopeless," Fang scowled.

"Uhuh. So, you know anything about swords, Whiney Bitch?" Zelos frankly inquired.

"Oh my God, is that my new nickname?" Fang stared at him in shock.

"It will be if you keep this attitude up. W.B., do answer my question now if you will," the redhead smiled up at him with a sugary grin.

"No. I don't have any experience with swords. I fight hand to hand," Fang answered angrily.

Zelos made a face, "That sucks. That means I have to train you too. Ugh. Of all the heroes of the journey of regeneration you got stuck with me. Why'd you have to get stuck with me?" he dramatically sighed.

"Last I heard, you were the last hero left," Fang grumbled.

"Oh yeah. I outlived everybody, didn't I?" Zelos then began to laugh.

'That's unnerving to say the least. I'm being led around by a lunatic,' Fang thought to himself as Zelos's wings sprouted from his back in an orange flurry of sparkles and colors. "You look like a fairy," Fang found himself informing Zelos bitterly.

"At least I'm not a whiney bitch," Zelos chimed as he took off into the air.