A/N: No it isn't a wedding scene, an engagement scene or whatever. But they will come in time (even though they are already married) but no fear I have a plan in mind. In the meanwhile enjoy!

I don't own Skulduggery Pleasant but after I get loads of money from selling books and art hopefully I can buy it of Derek Landy. Now I just need to start drawing and writing… (telling myself this for ages)

Chapter 14 Love Thy In Laws

The years went by.

Lovely (most of the time) years of marriage and partnership between Mr. and Mrs. Pleasant.

They moved into Uncle Gordon's house which was enough space for the couple, unfortunately it would take a massive dome the size of Europe to fit Skulduggery's ego in any place but they managed.

They watched Tanith and Ghastly get married and have a beautiful baby boy called A.J. and in the meantime Valkyrie was 36 still looking like she wasn't a day over twenty (don't I wish I could be her) and living with Skulduggery.

While Skulduggery was waiting for that ill fated day…

…when Valkyrie's motherly instinct kicked in.

And so they adopted. (since they couldn't really have a baby of their own)

And so Skulduggery started his tumbled down the road of regret.

Nicholas James Pleasant was everything Skulduggery wasn't.

He was cute, adorable, innocent, loving and he captured his mother's heart.

Which meant Valkyrie didn't spend time with him.

It was always.

"Look after the baby"

"Can you change Nicky's diaper please?"

"It's your turn this time"

"Skulduggery you'll scare him go away"

Why? Why had his dear, dear Valkyrie gone away from him?

Oh how he longed for a touch and how he longed for some attention. After all he did love attention so much.

And then she left Nicky with him when she had to go to Italy for a mission with Tanith.

Skulduggery looked at the baby in his arms. He was turning one soon, his eyes were green and he had brown hair. That was a good start for a sorcerer. Green eyes or red hair were always a magical omen.

Nicky gurgled and laughed and reached out for his father's skull.

Skulduggery softened. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

And then he decided to cry and 2 minutes and 34 seconds into babysitting Skulduggery couldn't stand it anymore.

He was going to her.

Skulduggery knocked on the door. Such a typical house for her. A cottage and a farm. So sweet and perfect looking but in reality things weren't that sweet.

The door opened.

"Hello?"

Dead black eyes stared at him.

"Oh"

Dead black eyes stared at the baby.

"Oh hell Skulduggery, what have you done now"

The small thin woman looked at him as if she wasn't about to kill him (which might've been true). She was probably a foot shorter than him, her hair was black and her eyes were green like Nicky's.

"Hi Bo"

She groaned, took Nicky from him and ushered him in.

"Listen Bo, I'm really glad for this favor and all" he said walking into the cottage.

"Shut up Skulduggery, I've known you for too long" she answered cradling Nicky.

"Who's baby is it?" she asked.

"Mine"

A moment of silence

"I don't see how that works"

"I sent you a wedding invitation for both you and Conner. You know I'm married" he said.

"Just because you were having a wedding doesn't mean you're married. She should've left you at the alter" commented Bo, she walked into a kitchen and pulled out a baby bottle from a drawer.

"Valkyrie wouldn't do that" Skulduggery said taking a seat, "I'm too perfect to resist"

"Your brother was too" she said harshly. Skulduggery was upset now.

"I did what I could Bo. You know that"

"But you didn't go the full way. Ben had a wife and children who needed him and you- well the world knows that they could've lasted without you"

"Fine, it was my fault Ben died are you happy? I didn't save him because I was the biggest narcissist on the planet. I murdered my own brother"

Bo was quiet and he calmed down. Bo looked at Nicky and fed him some warm milk.

"I know you did what you could Skulduggery. I'm sorry" she said softly.

"Don't worry. You're not the only one that misses him"

"Cute kid. To bad he's going to you as a father. What his mother like?"

"You are never meeting her. The hell you two would cause freaks me out"

"Is that so?" Bo said and smiled wickedly. Skulduggery glared at her.

"Oh come on Skully, why can't your sister in law see your own wife. It's not like I'd plot with her to kill you"

"Not in your life Bo"

"It would be fun. What's the baby's name again?"

"Nicky. Nicholas Pleasant"

"Hello Nicky" Bo cooed at the baby, "I'm Auntie Bo, I'm here so you don't grow up like your father. Good thing you're adopted because your daddy should never reproduce"

"Who are you kidding Bo. If everyone on this planet was my child the world will be a better place"

"And for a guy without his manhood you certainly have an ego"

"That hurts Bo"

"But its true" she said and cackled, "If Ben was alive your life would be a living hell, you know"

"Yes, you two were the evil duo of my life. Big brother who was always better than me in every single way and you who was the sadist of the century. You two made a lovely couple and bred like rabbits. Where is Conner anyway? He was living with you for the time being wasn't he?"

"Yeah. Just wait a moment. Conner!" she belted out putting a spell on Nicky's ears.

"Yeah!"

"Uncle Skully is here!"

"Skully? Oh! Okay, I'll get the restraining devices!"

"No need, I've got him pinned!"

"Really? How did you do that?"

"I've got his baby!"

"Shit. What has he done now! Wait!"

A moment of silence.

"I don't get how that works!" came the voice.

"Just come down!" shouted Bo. There were heavy footsteps pounded on steps meeting the floor and entering the kitchen. Conner looked like he was in his early twenties. Having used magic all his life had had a heavy impact on his life even if he was a few centuries old. Sandy brown hair and brown eyes made his face like his father's.

"Hey Uncle Skully! How the hell did you have a baby?" said the man patting Skulduggery's back rather harshly.

"I adopted" Skulduggery said.

"Hey Mom, you sure he hasn't killed someone and taken their baby?" said Conner.

"Be nice to your Uncle, Conner" Bo instructed.

"Cute baby. Pity you're his father, he might've stood a chance" said Conner.

"Why?" asked Skulduggery, "Why are you guys always mocking me? Even though I so wonderful"

"You know Uncle Skully for a guy without his man-"

"You're mother has already said that"

"Dammit Mom. Leave me a few good ones. I told you before"

"I hate you guys"

"We're some of the very little family you have. Be nice to us"

"Okay so how do I take care of Nicky?"

"Here" said Bo as a thick book appeared her hand.

Skulduggery took it.

"Babysitting for Idiots written by Beatrice Harper. Gee thanks Bo"

She handed Nicky to him and they walked to the door.

"Take care of him Skulduggery. And I'm going to meet your wife soon enough" said Bo.

"Skully has a babe? You serious mom?"

"Don't worry Bo I will" he said as he put Nicky into the baby seat and went into the car.

"Be a good boy little Skully" Bo said and kissed Skulduggery's cheekbone through the car window. And Skulduggery drove off.

"Oh come on Mom when can we kill him?" asked Conner.

"Next time sweetie. Next time. We'll rally up your brothers and sisters and then we'll kill him"

"I wonder what he's done with that bone of his that I made into a recorder?"

"Who knows? Anyway. Don't worry I've gotten my payment for the help I gave him"

Valkyrie had come back home and was playing with Skulduggery's bone recorder to entertain Nicky when she noticed a handkerchief wrapped around his neck with a name stitched on it.

"Skulduggery?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is this Beatrice?"

"Damn you Bo"

A/N: I always thought that Skulduggery would be the character to had a big brother who would torture him in the past. But no one would know about him. And so I wrote him in.

The way I pictured it was Ben and Bo were the ones who would tease Skulduggery when he was little and Skulduggery would continue to get teased in the future as little Skully. They all grew up together and Ben and Bo would marry when they were young and have lots of kids.

Ben and Bo had seven kids by the way, Emily, David, James, Phillip, Sarah and Lilly (they're twins) and Conner is the youngest, he was five when his father died.

They all take after their parents and love to tease their Uncle Skully.