A/N: I love pie, but not as much as I would love owning Skulduggery Pleasant, because that would be sick

Chapter 15 That Man Talk... Again...

"So Fletchy my ol' mate. What brings you here to our humble abode today?" said Skulduggery in an amused tone with the slightest hint of sarcasm. For once he felt very mature, he hadn't felt like this since Fletcher and Valkyrie were teenagers.

He sat in his new favourite armchair (the last one was burned to ashes in one of Valkyrie's rages and now resting in a jar on the mantelpiece) looking at the small timid Fletcher sitting down in a chair Skulduggery was supposed to fix ages ago.

"Well Mr. Pleasant"

"Please. Call me Skulduggery, Mr. Pleasant was my father"

"Yes, well Skulduggery. We haven't seen each other for a while now and I know it maybe strange me coming her for advice"

"It isn't strange at all Fletchy-boy"

"It isn't?"

"No in fact I know the exact reason why you've come here"

"You do?"

"Nah. I just wanted to sound cool. Anyway, go on"

"Yes well, as you know I recently met a young woman"

"Ah yes, I think the Mrs. mentioned that a year or so ago. Don't look at me like that boy, you know my memory is endless."

"Uh yes" said Fletcher. Skulduggery was surprised how much Fletcher had changed. He still had his awesome hair of course but other than that he had matured quite a bit and lost a bit of his ego too, such a pity…

"I have decided that I wanted to propose to her and I would like some advice"

This shocked Skulduggery a bit.

Because Fletcher had dated his wife many years ago was asking him for advice.

He was actually dumbstruck that even if the almighty Skulduggery gave someone like Fletcher advice. He still might not be able to complete his mission (because who would marry Fletcher?) And his advice was supposed to be the bomb

"You want me to give you advice on how to propose?"

"Yes"

"Why? Why me? Wait. Why not me? I'm a genius"

"Yes uh, I was focused more on the fact that you could propose to a woman like *cough* Valkyrie and uh, she would actually accept. So I thought if you can make a proposal awesome enough for Valkyrie to accept, you could help me with mine"

"Hmm… I'm not to sure, it seems like everyone wants a piece of Skulduggery nowadays"

"Please. I would be very thankful"

"Oh alright then"

"Okay, great. So how did you propose to Valkyrie?"

"Well, it was after she came home from work. She had just handed in some files and visited Kenspeckle after a big day and I knew she was looking forward to a good night sleep. But when she got home waiting to bask in my glory she found something"

"Which was?"

"I had for once, cleaned the room, made a beautiful dinner, lit some candles and had some beautiful music playing"

"Wow, that's good"

"Yes of course it was. And after I had served her, her meal I bent down on one knee and gave her a ring asking whether she would marry me or not"

"And she said yes?"

"Of course she did"

"Wow, Valkyrie can be a romantic"

"Yes, but it was more because I did it, because normally that would be extremely out of character. I mean, could you imagine me cleaning?"

"No. Well thank you very much Skulduggery. I think I have some ideas now"

"Yes very well Fletcher"

"Good night Skulduggery"

"Bye Fletchy"

And as Fletchy left the house Valkyrie came back home with a little Nicky in her arms.

"What was Fletcher doing here?"

"Oh I was telling him about how I proposed to you"

"Why?"

"Some advice, he wants to propose to his girlfriend"

"Skulduggery…"

"What?"

"I said 'no' the first time you proposed"

"But I could see you were moved"

"The candles nearly lit the house on fire, the music was horrible and the food was charcoal"

"Yes, well I tried didn't I?"

"And we got engaged when I proposed to you not when you proposed to me"

"Yes that was very manly of you. Great way to make me feel more secure about my manhood"

"Skulduggery, I'm going to get Fletcher right now"

"Oh don't worry about it. The advice I gave him will suffice"

"How so?"

"Because any girl dumb enough is a miracle already"

"Skulduggery Pleasant you strange, strange man"

"Yes I enjoyed this man talk too"

A/N: Wow a lot more Fletcher Renn bashing then I intended.