A/N: Thanks to all those who have faved this story, and for the reviews. I alway love to hear from the readers so I know what's going right and what's not working. :D so please keep them coming.

Warning: Still not betaread, so there will be spelling and grammar mistake. You have now been pre-warned so no complants. :)

CHAPTER FOUR

His beeper went off, telling him that Lisa's meds need his attention and with the reminder, the moment was broken. He was swiftly flooded with shame and guilt and self-hatred, because while he was here flirting and desiring his boss, his girlfriend was a prisoner in a body not fully her own, unable to feel anything more than pain. Instantly Ianto snapped up straight and turned to leave.

"What's the rush?" Jack frowned at the retreating tea-boy.

"I have filing to get on with sir…and Myfanwy needs to be fed."

"Huh." Jack slumped in his chair, his bright smile and flirtatious manner gone. "….Well, if you're interested Ianto, we're going out for a drink after work… if you want to come."

Ianto turned ever so slightly to see an unfamiliar look on Jack's face. "I…" he wanted to say yes, a small part of him wanted to have a normal after work experience. Have a drink, chat about rugby, football and what was on telly last night, maybe even continue this flirtation with Jack, but he couldn't. He needed to save Lisa. She was his number one priority - His only priority.

"I can't sir. - Sorry."

"Oh. – Well…." Jack shrugged a single shoulder indicating he didn't care one way or the other, thought Ianto suspected that he care just a bit. "It's only polite to ask…. Go do you're filing Ianto." Jack said, turning back to his own papers, pushing the coffee and Danish to one side.

Ianto froze on the threshold for a few more moments watching his boss with a deep regret. With a deep breathe he left the office with his head high, but his stomach and heart dragged long the floor. All the way to the basement he kept telling himself that Lisa came first. Above everything and everyone else, because Lisa was the one he loved.

Ianto stood over the machines listening to them beep and whir. His finger flicking the IV that was keeping Lisa's pain managed. He was still haunted by the lust of a little while ago, the heat in Jack's gaze still having an effect on him.

Determinedly he pushed those feelings away, they meant nothing. Ianto wrapped his long fingers around Lisa's before pressing a kiss to the young women's motionless lips, causing a twitch of movement beneath that had tears swelling in his eyes.

"Soon Lisa." He whispered hoarsely into her ear. "You'll be yourself soon. – I love you."

He wasn't sure if he was saying these words to reassure Lisa or himself.

Straighten up; he glanced at his watch suddenly noticing how late it was. The team would be leaving soon. With another squeeze of Liza's hand he headed back up to the hub, contacting Doctor Tanizaki as he made his way up from the lowest level.

In an hour, when Ianto was sure everyone was gone, he would reveal Lisa to the Doctor in the desperate hope that the old man could bring her back to him.

He re-entered the hub to find the team had given up the mission of defeating the back log of paper work, deciding instead to play basketball. None of them acknowledge his return; they were too caught up in the game. As he watched the fun, Ianto was hit with the desire to join, to relax and enjoy himself with his colleges. He couldn't fathom when it had become such an ordeal keeping himself separate from everyone.

At the beginning he'd been aloof but friendly. Doing his job and rarely speaking to the team unless it was necessary but slowly his frosty demeanor had begun to melt and he knew who was responsible for it. Jack had seemed determined to breach the wall Ianto had built around himself, to stop anything tainting the love and hope he carried for Lisa, but Ianto had to acknowledge the first crack appeared the day he'd met Jack Harkness.

The man's angry refuse to listen to him on that first night had fired the first in a long endured bombard of looks, smiled and comments that was day by days removing that wall, allowing doubts and feeling he'd never expected to feel again, to seep through.

Of course that had been the plan, right. Flirt with the infamous Captain Jack Harkness till the man gave him a job. That was why he'd been in that park, that was why he'd dressed in tight dark jeans that he would never have worn otherwise. – It was all a part of his plan.

So when had his plan backfired? When as the playful flirtation turned serious? Ianto wished he could answer that question but the fact was he didn't know. All he did know was that he was slowly losing a grip on what was real and what wasn't.

A cry of victory from Owen and Gwen pulled Ianto back from his concentrated thoughts. The team argued as they retrieved their jackets and prepared to leave. Finally piling out past Ianto without so much as a farewell, Jack throwing him the basketball as he went. There was no repeated invitation but the distancing echo of their laughter as he stood, the ball clutched to his chest.

He had wanted them gone. – hadn't he? So why was he suddenly wishing them back, wishing he could cling onto this part of his life, it was ridiculous, after almost a year he was so close to getting everything he'd wanted for so long. It wasn't like this was anything but a way to get what he wanted.