A/N: YAAAAAY NEW CHAPTER! Victoria is proud of herself, two updates in one night! You know, reviews are quite the reward…
Anyway, finally, finally, finally we get to the music! Hurrah! The song used in this chapter is "Sail Away" by The Rasmus, recommended to me by my dear friend Ari who you can find on Tumblr at dietcokeandpinksunglasses(dot)tumblr(dot)com. I highly recommend you look up the song and listen to it whilst reading, it's a really fantastic song and sets the mood in a way I don't think I could alone! Find it here: /watch?v=rguNvy-aXms
Anyway, I hope you enjoy! And you know, if you do…reviews…f*ckin' delicious.
Disclaimer: Glee. Don't own it. The Rasmus and their lyrics. Don't own 'em. Klaine. Don't own 'em. But I hear rumors I'm getting mini versions for Christmas, so we'll just see now, won't we?
Kurt ran through the halls with no sense of direction and no idea where his feet were taking him, his vision blurred by the tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't know where he was running to, but he knew what he was trying to run from.
He needed to get away from it. All of it. He had to be far away from that choir room, and his friend's judging eyes, and the boy that ruined everything. Except maybe that wasn't possible. Because maybe it wasn't really Sam who'd ruined everything. Maybe he was trying to run away from himself and what he'd done. The realization made him run faster, trying to escape it as well.
After what seemed like forever and simultaneously no time at all, Kurt collapsed against a set of lockers, across from the auditorium. He sank down to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest and weeping into them. He was thankful that most students were in class right now leaving the hallways deserted so no one would see him like this.
Kurt could feel his heart breaking all over again. Why, why, why did he have to be so stupid? Why did he have to react like he did? He'd gone and cost himself his entire world, and now he was utterly and totally lost. The hardest part of it all was his instincts were telling him that he was in pain, and when he was in pain, he was supposed to run to Blaine…and he would never be able to do that again. He didn't know where to go, what to do…he didn't know anything. The only thing he was sure of was that he hated himself for losing the most important person in his life, and he'd give anything, anything for Blaine to hold him, kiss him, say he loved him one more time.
A tinny, 8-bit version of Teenage Dream coming from Kurt's pocket made him jump. For a brief moment his heart swooped, and he thought maybe, just maybe Blaine was answering one of his numerous text messages. The hope instantly died when he pulled out his I-Phone and saw Wes's name on his caller ID.
Wes: 1 New Video Mail
Kurt stared at the screen in confusion, wiping stray tears away from his eyes with that back of his sleeve. He opened the message and pressed play on the video.
The screen was black but there seemed to be shuffling. Kurt watched as the person taking the video (Wes, he assumed) crept up to a mahogany door silently…a door Kurt recognized as one of the dorm room doors at Dalton. Wes cracked the door open slightly and Kurt's breath caught.
Blaine was seated cross-legged on his bed in his room, unaware of his friend hiding outside his door filming him. He had his guitar in hand, and he was dressed in a tight, ratty white t-shirt, ripped, baggy jeans and his curls wild and untamed. If it weren't for the dark circles under his eyes and the frazzled hair, the evidence of hands being run through it frequently, Kurt would think he looked stunning. Well, he did, but he also looked like a wreck. Kurt felt his heart tighten at the sight of his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend, he had to remind himself) in this state.
Blaine's eyes remained on a piece of sheet music on his bed in front of him, strumming his guitar absently. Finally, he began to pick up pace and launched into an actual song. Kurt watched intently as Blaine began to sing.
Once upon a time we had a lot to fight for
We had a dream, we had a plan
Sparks in the air, we spread a lot of envy
Didn't have to care, once upon a time
Kurt's breath caught as he recognized the song and his eyes pricked again, threatening tears.
Remember when I swore my love was never ending?
And you and I would never die?
Remember when I swore we had it all? We had it all…
Blaine played fiercely, threatening to break the strings, pouring everything he had into the song, and his voice ringing out strongly if not almost watery, clear that he was containing tears as well.
Sail away, it's time to leave
Rainy days are yours to keep
Fade away, the night is calling my name
You will stay, I'll sail away
Once upon a time we used to burn candles
We had place to call a home
This dream that we lived was better than divine
Every day was like a gift, once upon a time.
Kurt stopped fighting the tears and let them fall, biting his lip as Blaine sang, wanting more than anything to reach through the screen and reach out to the singing boy, and miserable at the thought that he knew Blaine would turn him away if he did.
Remember when you swore your love was never ending
And you and I would never die
Remember when you swore we had it all
We'd never fall
Blaine sang this with particular intensity, an anger that wasn't just that, but an anguish that Kurt hated himself for ever making the other boy feel.
Sail away, it's time to leave
Rainy days are yours to keep
Fade away, the twilight's calling my name
You will stay, I'll sail away
No reason to lie, no need to pretend
I'm grateful to die to live once again
I'm fearless to fly and reach for the end…
And reach for the end…
Blaine played through the musical break with ferocity, as if he were taking out all his anger, all his grief, everything that was tearing him apart into that one song. Kurt could see the other boy had tears falling down his cheeks as well, but he played on, fighting to reach the end of the song, to finish, to be done…with all of it.
Kurt brought a hand to his mouth and choked on his own sobs as Blaine launched into the final chorus, the muscles in his arms straining as he played, his whole body shaking with the intensity and his voice resounding through the small room, loud and clear but still shaky with emotion.
Sail away…
Sail away, it's time to leave
Rainy days are yours to keep
Fade away, the night is calling my name
You will stay, I'll sail away
Sail away…
The night is calling my name
Sail away…
The song came to a close, and Blaine's tensed, shaking form slumped back, exhausted from the effort as he pushed his guitar to the foot of his bed and rolled over onto his back, throwing an arm over his face, breathing deeply.
The video ended suddenly, and just as it did, another text from Wes came through, and Kurt blinked at it.
New Message: Wes
You need to fix this.
Kurt inhaled sharply, trying to draw up frustration and some snappy response to send back, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He could only stare at the phone and cry. He felt pathetic.
"Kurt?"
The countertenor looked up to see Rachel standing a few feet away, watching him cautiously. "Kurt, are you alright?"
He just stared at her. How could he answer that? His face crumpled and he shook his head, finally deciding he wanted to be comforted. Rachel was there in a second, kneeling beside him with an arm around his shoulder. Rachel rubbed his arm soothingly as he cried, and she brushed his hair out of his face with her other hand. She didn't know what to say…there was really nothing to say…all she could do was be there, and try to show him he was indeed loved as little as he believed it right now.
"Rachel…I don't know what I should do,"
She ran her fingers through his hair, biting her lip. "What do you want to do?" she asked quietly.
"I want him back," he whispered.
"Then go get him."
"It's not that simple. He…he hates me."
Rachel grabbed her friend's shoulders suddenly, a bit more roughly than he'd expected. He stared at her in surprise as she stared him down intently.
"You be quiet right now. He does not hate you. He loves you, Kurt. He loves you very much and you know it. And he wants you back too. More than you know. He just…doesn't believe in can work anymore. You have to prove to him it can and it will. You have to prove to him that he can trust you. You need to prove you love him, and only him."
Kurt was quiet for a minute, processing this. She was absolutely right…at least, he hoped she was. "Is that what you two talked about last night?" he asked quietly. She nodded, seeming unsurprised that he knew about that already.
"But how, Rachel? He won't even talk to me. How am I supposed to prove that I love him if he won't even answer the phone when I call him?"
She smiled sweetly, but a glint in her eye that Kurt knew all too well told him she had a plan.
"My dearest Kurt," she grinned, "how do you and I solve every problem we seem to come across?"
He stared blankly, wondering briefly if she'd finally gone all the way off her rocker.
"We sing about it, my dear."