Love & Hate
Dear Diary,
I had that dream again last night. It was different though, there was a light… even brighter than the moon. It was pure, unlike the fiery sun. It was tranquil and peaceful like the moon. Just as the moon is to the Earth, it was there and stood like a silent guardian for me. I stepped towards it and my dress, it changed. It was like a strong wind that blew against me and it blew all the darkness away. It made me happy, but so sad too. I wonder why it made me sad. Maybe it was lonely too. Next time I dream, maybe I'll say thank you. Maybe I'll get the chance tonight. I don't want it to be sad. It should be happy… So should I. So, I'll smile from now on to forever. If I smile, then I'll be happy. I'll smile for him too then, we can all be happy this way.
I saw him yesterday; he was so different from everyone else. He had a kind of aura that set him apart. What I saw was only a fleeting glimpse, but my heart beats for him only now. My mother once told me that it takes time for fondness to reach the heart and for love to blossom, but she was wrong. This is not some fleeting crush that ends when someone else new walks into my life, or even line of sight; this is real. My heart beats painfully without him, but I don't even know if it's possible for me to see him again. Even if I did happen to meet him again, what am I supposed to say?
'Hi, we've never met before, but I'm in love with you.'
I can see how that would end. Anyway, I could never actually speak to him! This isn't a stupid romance where the strikingly handsome guy with no flaws is the love interest and she goes to start talking or something. I can't speak to him. Other than the fact that I do love him with all of my heart, I can't. Why? Oh, that's simple, my technical studies teacher said, and I quote;
Ssh, I asked her and she sounds like a mouse on the best of days.
Embarrassing? No. It was humiliating! He got the class to shut up so he could say that! I'll never forget that. I couldn't even remember the answer after that… So I can't even talk to him. Curse my chronic shyness. This is doomed to fail completely and then that thing that brought me here will probably get bored with nothing happening and zap me back. I don't want to go back. I like it here. I want to get to know him. Then we'll see what happens after that. I'll be happy even if he just considers me a friend, then at least I'll be something to him. I don't know his situation, and I won't pretend to either, but I think he already has a precious person. Someone very precious to his heart that he keeps close. Yes, he's the kind of guy that everyone wants to be with. There's just something about him.
It hurts when it beats, but I can accept that. I'm not like most people; I'm so unique that I never quite fit I with anyone. It's sad, to always be on the outside looking in. I'm glad though. If I was a stereotypical cheer leader, oh so vain and prideful, then I'd throwing a fit or bawling my eyes out. I did cry, but not quite that badly. I'm just glad that I love someone this wholly, and I'm glad for that. I can live with just that. He doesn't need to love me this way for me to be happy. He can just be happy, that's enough to make me smile. Yes, that's enough.
The old journal closes. Selene smiles up at the sky. Her eyes twinkling some half hidden emotion. A look that she's perfected. It's like a lake. Close enough that you can touch on it, but too deep to actually make it out. Then her smile turns more sinister; haunting in a way.
A low snuffling comes from around the corner where the white 'alien' fox stares out at her where she can't see.
Author's Note: Sorry, I just needed a kind of chapter to make her emotions clear. This isn't your average run of the mill love story if you haven't already gotten that vibe. I know it really isn't all that good, but I do try really hard!
Hmm, do any of you guys like Naruto by any chance? No one's really reading OpalMoon and I was hoping that some of you guys would give it a chance. Maybe leave a review for it. Oh well. Thank you for reading this. Bye.
I own Selene, the plot and the alien fox. Everything else goes to their rightful, respected owners.
-Chapter Edited.