Author's Note: Well, I was thinking today (hard to believe, right?) about Wicked, and its characters, when I noticed Van Helsing and Galinda have the same number of syllables! Not only that, but they kinda sound the same too. Say it: Ga-LIN-da, Van HEL-sing. And then I tried it out on the other characters. AR-te-mis, EL-pha-ba. Jack, Boq. NESSa-ROSE, LEG-o-LAS. WIZ-ard-OF-Oz, DOC-tor-GAN-tus. FI-ye-ro, VI-o-let. Well, on that one it depends on how you pronounce it. But other than that, isn't that scary? Dude. I need to stop freaking myself out like this. On to reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own Captain Jack Sparrow, Legolas Greenleaf, Violet Baudelaire, Artemis Fowl, Van Helsing, Harry Potter, or any of the characters related to these characters. I do not own any of the lyrics in this story, mainly Wicked lyrics, or any of the characters mentioned from Wicked or Wizard of Oz. I don't own any Grease lyrics either. All rights are reserved to any brand names such as Starbuck and Vogue to their brand name… uh… owners. I do not own the Falkland Islands, and if I did, well, then, I'd be bloody loaded, wouldn't I? I do, however, own Dr. Gantus and Tom-Ton Kilani. They are mine, MINE! Ahaha… oh yeah, and the mythical shmokydoky berry. I guess that's mine too.

To Vagrant Candy: I know, I'll miss you guys too! I'm glad you liked the kiss! Very fluffy. Fluff is MAGICAL! By the way, thank you for reviewing my other story. I appreciate your advice. To Arsinoe Selene: Tom-Ton Kilani was the only island name I could think of. And besides, Hawaiians rock! They wear plumerias... plumerias rock too! And on the Starbucks thing, coffee is only 1/3 of what they sell. They also sell teas, hot chocolate, the occasional eggnog, apple cider, iced tea, a bunch of pastries and brownies and junk, and Frappuccinos (thank you, God, for those wonderful drinks) which are kind of like smoothies, and about half of them have coffee. Please, take my advice, go there sometime. It will be your second home. The "juggling" thing sounds pretty funny. I might add it in here. Hope ya don't mind! To shadowglove: Hmmm… I hadn't thought about that much. Ah, Klaus. Poor thing. But he won't ruin the magical fluff I have created for my two favorite smart people. YOU CANNOT HURT THE FLUFF! THE FLUFF WILL OVERPOWER YOU! Ahem… sorry. To Frisky Muffin: Good girl. Just keep on poppin' 'dem candies. Just not the black ones. I've never had a Venti. But someday, when I do something extraordinarily wonderful, I will reward myself with a Venti Frappuccino or Chai or something. TA-ZO! Wat-wat! To wherearthou: Jack and Van Helsing are both very, VERY hot men who have had their fair share of girls. Really, they just had an exciting scene in huts with several island beauties. Maybe seeing Violet so happy with him gives them a sense of happiness. Besides, everyone has been stuck together for so long they've all kind of grown on each other. Anyway, not acting in a jealous manner demonstrates their true maturity. After all, it's not how many hairs on your chest or your chin that makes you a man. What separates the boys from the men is how you act in challenging situations and how you learn from them. Dude. That was quite poetic. To Redberry Greenleaf: Corn is niiice… ok, well- in the 80s, when Johnny Depp was into all that weird druggy stuff, he was an item with that spoiled brat Winona Rider. He has an almost infamous tattoo on his arm or somewhere saying "Winona Forever", but I think he might've changed it to Wyoming Forever or removed it or something. Anyway, I thought I might want to put that in there. And also when he was younger Johnny Depp was in a movie called "Benny and Joon," which not many people have seen, where he is in a conversation with his lover-girl with mental problems about how the California Raisins are sick because the people make them sing and dance and really all they are are humiliated grapes. Funny movie. Nothing on eunuchs, though. To Captain Arianna Trouble: I'm afraid I can't drop out. I'm working for several college degrees and it would interfere with my "high school plan for the future". Um, yeah. But maybe I could work on a completely random sequel or something, I haven't figured that out yet. THAT'S WHY YOU NEED TO GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS, PEOPLE! Eventually I shall read the fourth book of our beloved Irish super-genius, though. To Yazuka Princess: I am aware that he changed it, but it wouldn't be funny if it was Wino or whatever. But I did do my homework in this next chapter on Irish cities and tourist spots. Thank you for all your helpful corrections and patience:) To Cheorl: I'm glad you liked it. I hope you luv the finale, and thank you for your imaginative sequel suggestion. Seriously, I have no idea when I'd get around to it, but I'd love to write it. Fwahaha… insane thoughts are a-brewing in my twisted head already… To meowbooks: Clue is an awesome game, if not a little morbid. Play it sometime with your close friends, (with Legolas' tactics,) and be sure to call Miss Scarlet as your player! Luv ya!

Okay, here it is… the last chapter. It's a long one. I want to give an enormous thanks to all of my loverly, faithful reviewers who've helped me along this random, twisted journey, and have not failed to remind me that I am, unsurprisingly, insane. I love you all. You were the light of my summer. Without your encouragement, my old writing skills would've gathered dust and gone all rusty-like. Tragic. For you author-readers, be sure to update your stories, for I WILL be watching you. Twitch… twitch… okay, enough dramatics. Let's end this thing with a bang!

Ch. 9- the Final Bow

It was a clear, breezy morning when Jack woke from slumber. He was surprised he didn't have a hangover from all that coconut-shmokydoky juice he drank last night. Maybe it didn't have the depressing aftereffects of rum and whiskey and all that rot. Wonderful. He must remember to get some of that before they shipped off. He sat up from his little bed in his hut, and slapped water all over his face to wake him up. He remembered drinking a lot of that wonderful juice, and feeling very light and happy. So happy that he felt the urge to get up and do a wonderful two-person version of "Oklahoma!" It went surprisingly well, and soon that wonderful crowd of dancing, singing, drinking village people got up and did the Texas two-step all around the bonfire. Jack wondered why there wasn't an Oklahoma two-step in the musical, so in the end he just wound up twirling and whirling so hard that he fell over into a deep, peaceful sleep. The Village People must've carried him there, for he vaguely remembered them still dancing and singing about young men and the YMCA. Lord, he had weird dreams. Jack exited the hut and went to find Van Helsing, who was overseeing the people loading up the boat.

"Can we get a load of that shmokally...dockidy… whatever stuff for the trip?" he asked, looking at one man carry a basket full of fruits and vegetables on board.

"Perhaps. But the boat can't carry too much more."

Jack sighed. Legolas appeared with a cup of hot liquid in his hand. "What's that?" Jack asked. Legolas looked out to the sea; he appeared to be in his own world. Jack took advantage of this moment and whacked the elf across the head. Legolas snapped back to attention.

"Huh? Did you say something?" he asked groggily, sipping whatever was in the cup.

"I said what are you drinking?" said Jack, enunciating his words as best he could, since they were mainly always slurred.

"Oh. Some sort of tea made from the leaves of that berry and some other herb and stuff. With a hint of chai, I suspect."

"Chai? Oh, I love chai. Do you mid if I have a sip?" Van Helsing asked. Legolas handed the cup over. Van Helsing took a sip, a smiled. "Ah, it reminds me of sunny days up in the mountains when the wildflowers are in bloom and the hummingbirds…" he stopped. Jack was staring horrified at him. "Er, the hummingbirds are fat for killing and the smell of blood is in the air and I'm cleaning my weapons. Yeah."

Jack nodded. Legolas made a cat-like leap to the deck to assist some men carrying a box of his new au-natural beauty care products. It was then that Artemis joined the with a similar cup of steamy liquid.

"Morning, crew." He said. He was trying to cut back on the urges to say, "idiots," or "blockheads," so he said something manly instead. The men nodded. "Has anyone seen Violet?"

Jack's eyes brightened. He loved this time of the morning when the Irishman was ripe for teasing. "Ah, I forgot! How was your rendezvous with the little Miss Baudelaire?"

"That's none of your business," Artemis said, looking on at Legolas babying his lips with new moisturizer.

"Oh, come on, mate! Don't be a stick in the mud! At least tell us all the romantic details!"

He said something other than romantic, but I decided to change it because I don't want to increase the rating to M at this point. (Jack: stupid… rrkm… shmkm… ratings…)

Artemis rolled his eyes and his upper lip started to curl in disgust. "Ugh. You ruin all ideals of romance, you know that?"

Jack grinned proudly. "Yes. Yes I do."

"Hey!" said Legolas, jumping down. "This is just like a scene from Grease!" he slicked back his hair, curled a strand in the front, and pulled up his collar, snapping. "Summer lovin', had me a blaaaast-"

"Summer lovin', happened so faaaast," Van Helsing said, snapping.

"Met a girl," Artemis sang. "Crazy for meeeeee,"

"Met a guy, cute as can be," Jack flounced into Van Helsing's arms, in which he started swinging him back and forth. "Summer days, driftin' away- to-o uh-oh those su-u-mmer nights,"

"A wella wella wella whoop-"

They all stopped. Standing behind them was Violet, arms crossed, eyebrow raised. All the men commenced in punching each other's shoulders, trying to redeem themselves of their manliness, in the end just throwing their scapegoat elf into the clear blue ocean.

Legolas sat in the banks of shallow water. "Hey look, a sand dollar!"

"Up early, we are," Tom-Ton Kilani said, handing Violet a cup of tea and sipping his own, "Ready to continue the journey, are we?"

Jack did not ask the chief if talking like Master Jedi Yoda was a normal morning routine. He simply said, "Yes."

"Although if it were any other circumstance, we would gladly stay longer," Dr. Gantus said, looking freshly-shaved. Indeed, for he still had streaks of shaving cream on his face.

"Where'd you get the shaving cream?" Legolas said, indicating to Gantus of the streaks. He wiped them off casually.

"Why, do you want some to shave your legs?" Jack grinned evilly. Legolas gave him a blank look that said, 'don't you?'

"Very well then, when my men are finished packing, we will all see you off. I trust you had a good rest?" he gave a look to Artemis and Violet, who both gained a little more color. Gantus didn't notice.

"Well, I think it would've been a lot nicer if all your island females weren't making a ruckus in that elf's cabin."

"That's too bad. Why don't we all have some breakfast and then we'll give you some maps."

They had a lovely little breakfast of fruits and tea and little scone-like things that 'they kept for special guests'. But Artemis remembered that he said they never have guests, so that means they're pretty old. But they tasted all right. After breakfast and a charming conversation about politics in Belgium, they headed out to the boat. Tom-Ton Kilani was explaining the maps to Jack. Artemis walked alongside Violet, and after a while said, "Good morning."

"It is, isn't it?"

"Quite. Did you have a nice sleep?"

"Yes. My hut was quite lovely. I think the mattresses are those Swedish sleep-system kinds developed by scientists, because I just drifted right off. How was yours?"

"Good. Except for all that ruckus in Legolas' hut. Can't overlook the ruckus."

Violet smiled. "Oh, yes. Who could forget the ruckus?"

Artemis grinned. "It's almost infamous, isn't it, the Ruckus?" and after a period of silence, he said, "But seriously, what do you think they did in there?"

"Not much. I don't think he's that sort of a chap."

"Really?"

"Really."

They watched Legolas pick a bunch of island flowers and string them into a necklace. "I never would have guessed," Artemis said quietly, and they both laughed.

The whole island came out to say goodbye to the six odd travelers. All the island girls kissed Van Helsing and Jack on the cheek, but when Legolas came around they clung to him, weeping. No one paid any attention to Gantus, except the wrinkly old medicine woman, who gave a wink to the downtrodden scientist. Village mothers and elders gave the six some of their own personalized gifts: blankets, hugs, blessings, teabags, snow globes, flowers, and other things. Finally, when they came to Chief Tom-Ton Kilani, he gathered them up in his arms and crushed them all in a big bear hug. Various cracking and popping noises could be heard. He ruffled Artemis' hair, and kissed Violet's hand, saying, "Take care of that Irish lad. And don't forget to visit!"

And with that, they hoisted the anchor, and shoved off, leaving the waving islanders and the simple paradise behind them.

The day was sort of calm after that. Everyone went about doing his or her own business, occasionally coming together to talk or something. Van Helsing and Gantus sat chatting about monsters and damsels in distress, while Legolas sat at the bowsprit, letting the wind play with his hair so it looked like a big blonde flag. Jack stood at the wheel, singing pirate-y songs about jugs of rum, the open seas, and bar maids with very big… jugs of rum. Artemis and Violet sat laying a very crude game of checkers that one of the elders had carved. Artemis had grown keenly interested in Violet's siblings.

"Klaus is a big help in the research field. He reads anything and everything he can get his hands on, and he remembers every little bit of it. Very useful when villains are trying to attack you legally, meaning they try to bend the law very discreetly to get you. But Klaus is too smart for that. And then there's Sunny, the little dear. She has to be one of the most agreeable children I've ever seen. She never threw fits as a baby, and developed a very intelligent mind at an early age. Of course, that was because we were always on our toes running-"

"From villains," Artemis said, "King me."

"Exactly. Sunny's teeth are the interesting thing. When she started teething, it was very abnormal. They would come out sharp as knives. Sometimes there would be bleeding, but her gums have toughened up. She loves to bite things. Anything hard. She's also an excellent cook with fine tastes. Her speech and thinking patterns are also more developed than normal children. King me."

"Well, with two older brilliant siblings, it's no wonder," Artemis said, looking over the boards for a tactical move. "I never had any other siblings. My mother couldn't take it. And when my father disappeared, all hopes of another Fowl descending were dashed. And when I rescued him with the help of, well, that's a long story, but anyway when he came back she was at her expiration date. I've always just had my bodyguard, Butler, as a friend."

"He's your butler, or his name is Butler?"

"His name."

"How odd! Is it Polish or something?"

"I don't know."

"King me. You don't have to play easy with me, you know. I don't mind losing."

"I'm not playing easy! And I'm not losing. I'm just… distracted. It's because we keep on talking like this. I can't concentrate on the game." Artemis protested, giving a resemblance of a child. Violet smiled. "So… what ever happened to all if those villains?"

Violet shrugged. "Their age caught up with them, I guess. They were pretty old people. Didn't take very good care of themselves in the first place. Anyway, they just kind of stopped appearing after a while. Soon it got to be that we were in a state of a sort of safety. But we were framed as criminals, so we've never had the chance to get away. That is, we were planning to until I got stuck on that island…" she drifted off, reminding herself of her sibling's possible danger, which made her gloomy again.

"You should go to Great Britain or somewhere around there. To get a house, I mean. Those Yanks over in America price their houses too high. Especially in California. And I'm a millionaire and I say this. Actually," he paused, "one of the Fowl's many summer houses is in North Ireland, by Belfast. We hardly ever use it." He paused. "Maybe… maybe my father would put it up for sale, or… something."

Violet brightened. "I've never been to Ireland."

"You'd like it. Very friendly. Very green. Lots of rocks, too. I think Sunny might enjoy it."

Violet smiled. "I think she would." Artemis skipped over a couple pieces, kinging himself. After a couple moves, Violet said slowly, "And, um, maybe you could come to… you know-"

"Collect taxes?" Artemis suggested randomly.

"No… visit. You should come to visit." Violet said. Artemis looked up and smiled. They were about to have another magical fluffy moment when Legolas bounced in.

"Oh, you humans! You simply must keep in touch with me after this! And if you have any babies, I expect the firstborn to be named after me. I don't mind if it's a boy or a girl. Or maybe if it's a girl you should name her Legolasina or Legolassie. Lassie for short. No, I don't like that. Just stick with Legolas. It will be Legolas, Jack, and Gabby."

Van Helsing looked up. "Gabby?"

"Well you said your name was Gabriel Van Helsing, didn't you? And the third is so obviously going to be a girl, so it will be Gabby Fowl. That kind of sounds like a duck, doesn't it? Oh well. Then there will be Artemis, who will be a girl, and Violet, who will also be a girl."

"What about me?" Gantus asked. "I get left out of everything!"

"Oh, you can be the crazy godfather who spoils the children and lets them drive at the age of 12." Legolas waved him off. But Gantus wasn't satisfied.

"No! I want a son named after me!" he began to throw a tantrum.

"Alright, fine. Don't wet yourself. The youngest will be Ophilius, because naming a boy Gantus is stupid. You'll call him Oafie for short, because he'll be a bit of an oaf, a special child, the black sheep in the family, just like the man he was named after." And with that, he started to taunt Gantus by calling, 'Monicaaaa…' very softly and watching the poor old man twitch.

"And then there will be two twin girls," said Van Helsing clapping his hands, "Elphaba and Galinda!"

"Oh, of course. So that's Legolas, Jack, Gabby, Artemis, Violet, Oafie, and Elphaba and Galinda." He counted them off on his fingers. "That makes eight. Don't worry, Violet, you've got child-bearing hips."

Artemis and Violet went from beet red to deadly pale. More pale than Artemis' usual paleness. Which was pretty pale. The magical fluffy moment was gone, and they moved away to separate corners of the ship; Gantus being in the third, rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

"Well, mates, this will be our last night together," Jack said, taking a swig of the shmokydoky-coconut juice.

"It's hard to believe we've been together for so long," Violet said.

"Without going mad," Artemis finished.

"I resent that comment!" Gantus called, getting up from his corner.

"I say we all drink ourselves silly, and have one more night of singing, slurring, and bad war stories!"

"Sounds good to me, drinking buddy!" Legolas said, grabbing a bottle of juice and starting to chug. Within a half hour, Legolas and Jack were doing a dosie-do, slurring "Yo Ho Yo Ho a Pirate's Life for Me"; Van Helsing was laughing uncontrollably. Gantus started having Monica delusions again, but everyone was kind of ignoring him now. Artemis took good care to make sure Gantus doesn't come too close to Violet, and finally Violet just looped her arms around him and kissed him dreamily. Artemis didn't know if she had consumed some of the simulated alcohol herself or if being up this late made her very affectionate. He didn't care. After a few moments of fluffiness, they decided to join in the muddled pirate song and dance, twirling around and joining arms with the other two. Van Helsing grabbed Dr. Gantus and hurled himself in, until they were just a mass of happy dancing people on a ship. Once they were all out of breath, they plopped on the floor, falling into a peaceful panting sleep.

Legolas was the first to wake that morning. After getting ready, washing up, putting on his makeup, brushing his hair, taking his tea, and giving him self the usual 'you're beautiful, be proud,' pep talk, he had been watching the horizon for the first spot of land. Not much. Tom-Ton Kilani had said only two days, but he was looking a little too happy. What if he was lying? What if it was all a show? What if he was leading them into the abyss of the seas? Stupid humans. They think they're so smart. He had a mind to turn the boat around right now, but he didn't, for his thoughts were interrupted by Jack.

"Thinking in a vengeful, irrational, and slightly prejudiced mentality this morning, are we? Not a very good way to start off the day."

"How did you know?"

"Mate, you're facial expressions are easier to tell than one of those "How Are You Feeling Today?" posters."

"He said a two-day's journey."

"Which means we'll be sailing for another day. If the wind picks up, we could arrive there by six."

Legolas sighed. "I'm tired of all this sailing! First I sailed all over creation with that hungry dwarf, then we encountered dreary days sailing from the island, and now I'm really about to go mad!" he cried.

"Don't pull your pretty hair out now," Jack said.

Legolas shuddered. "Don't say things like that!"

Everyone else slept in late that morning. They slept in till about 11:45 a.m., (I don't know if that's late for you, readers, but it's way late for me. So there.) and nothing really happened after that, except Jack and Van Helsing playing a rather pointless game of flexing their pectorals at one another, which they called "juggling"; so I'm going to skip ahead to when they docked at the Falkland Islands.

"We're here," Violet said. "We made it!"

"Finally," Legolas said, "Civilization!"

They paused for a moment, sucking in the joy. Still, there was much to be done. A family walking by stared at the group, staring at the town before them. A bellboy from a hotel nearby walked up to them and said, "May I help you, sirs and lady?"

"Yes," Artemis replied in his usual sniffy tone. "Do you know where a telephone might be of service? I don't believe I have any money on me right now-"

"That's fine, sir. You can use one in the reception hall over in the hotel."

"Wonderful. Thank you. I would tip you for your trouble. You all go unload the boat for whatever you might need to take with you. I'll see to the rest."

The young millionaire followed the bellboy into the hotel, where he dialed several long numbers, waiting for the ring.

"Ah, yes. Fowl residence, please. Yes. No. Yes, the very big Irish house. Yes, I do know of the security. No, I'm not a terrorist, and if I was, well then, I wouldn't tell you would I? Just tell them that Artemis wants to talk to Butler." He paused. "Butler? Good to talk to you, old man! No, I'm not in danger. Yes, I'm all right. No…yes… yes… for Haven's sake, man, I'm a super genius, not a toddler! Yes. I need you to bring the fastest jet you can over to the Falkland Islands. Southwest of South America. I'll tell you when you get here. Good. That's very flattering, but you can tell the troops to stop searching now, I'm fine. No. Speaking of searching, I need you to do a location search of a two children. Well, one's almost sixteen. Baudelaire. Yes, them. Can you do it? Right. Yes. See you when you get here." And with that, he hung up.

Artemis thanked the clerk and stepped outside of the hotel to find the other five holding various things from the boat. The boat was all tied up.

"We haven't named the boat," Jack called.

"What should we name it?" Artemis said, approaching.

"How about something with all of our names in it?" Gantus suggested.

"Or the S.S. Shmokydoky?" Jack said, "Or the S.S. Chastity? I've always wanted to name a ship that." Everyone gave him a long stare.

"No, it has to be something that relates to our adventures," Violet said.

"How about the S.S. Friendship?" Legolas said happily. Van Helsing smacked him.

"No," Artemis grinned wolfishly at Van Helsing, "The Elphaba."

Van Helsing grinned back. "Yes. The Elphaba."

Everyone liked the name, so they cracked a bottle of shmokydoky against it and christened the little ship after the singing green witch. They stood there for a moment, looking at it, then Legolas said, "Well I'm bored."

"What do we do now?"

"Let's go eat out!" Jack said happily.

"We don't have any money,"

"That's okay, we can sell some of this shmokydoky juice." Jack said, holding up a couple bottles. "I saved a lot for myself, Gantus to study, and these few we can hock for loot!"

"Okay, let's go!"

Nobody could stand anymore seafood, so they decided to go out for hamburgers. Jack ordered a thick Angus cheeseburger, Van Helsing ordered a meaty thick angus/bacon burger with the works, Gantus decided on getting a southwestern burger, Violet ordered a little single cheeseburger, and Legolas ordered a veggie burger. Artemis didn't order a burger, saying he'd rather die than eat one of those heart attacks on a bun, but he eventually gave into some fries and shared Violet's chocolate shake. The six talked happily about someday building flagships called Galinda, Fiyero, the Wizard, and two little ships called the Boq and Nessarose. Then they'd have their won fleet. When they were finished, they went back to the boat to see a jet speeding above the water along the horizon. It slowed at sight of them, and landed presently by the dock. Out stepped a huge man with a shaved head and several shiny weapons, behind him stepped a young man with glasses, holding a blonde curly-haired child.

Violet's eyes widened. Her mouth dropped open. She stood there, helpless, for a moment, before bursting into tears and rushing into her siblings arms. They all stood there, crying, smiling, talking, hugging- it was very sweet. It was so heart-wrenching that Legolas burst into hysterical tears, crumpling to the ground and beating his head on the stone. Gantus kind of stared at him.

"Oh my God, I'm so happy to see you!" Violet cried, hugging her brother.

"What happened to you?" he asked, "First you were there, and the next morning we couldn't find you! What happened?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you later." Violet said, giving her sister a kiss and standing up to face Artemis. He was smiling. "You did this?" he nodded. Violet buried her head in his chest, looping her arms around him and whispering, "Thank you. So much."

Artemis patted her on the back. It felt bloody good to be the hero.

"A week had passed and we had almost given up hope when all of a sudden this jet comes down and we were told our sister was found. We were so ecstatic, we almost died on the way there. Quite exhilarating." The brother said. "I didn't thank you for your kindness, Mr.…?"

"Fowl. Artemis Fowl." Artemis replied. "The second."

"I read about you," he said, "your security in the infamous Fowl Manor is almost greater than the Pentagon's. Very impressive. Klaus Baudelaire, by the way."

"Thank you, likewise. I've heard you're quite the researching genius yourself." Artemis shook his hand.

"Did you?" Klaus raised an eyebrow at Violet. Violet pretended not to notice.

Artemis squatted down to the little sister's level. "And you must be Sunny."

Sunny extended her hand expectantly. Artemis smiled, took it, and shook it. "It's a lovely honor to meet you, Mr. Fowl," she said in a little girl's voice. She was charming.

Violet began to talk with her siblings. Artemis walked over to Butler, commencing in one of those manly slap-on-the-back-hugs. "It's bloody good to see you, old man!" he said, smiling.

Butler looked him up and down. No doubt he had lost his usual snobbery, and gained what he could see as normal human manners and… feelings? Artemis has also changed in the physical area. He was no longer a deadly pale, but now a fleshy, peach glow resided in his skin. He wasn't too scrawny anymore, either. Yes, Artemis had changed, and from what Butler could see, for the better. Butler didn't know it, but they had all changed. And now, as most friendships go, it was time for them to head on to new adventures.

"So, you and Gantus are staying here then?"

"Yes," Van Helsing replied, "We're going to do a bit of research in South America. They say there's some sort of cat-person there and I'd like to look into it. Dr. Gantus can help me."

Gantus nodded. "A good place to put my cure for that fever to work as well."

Artemis smiled and nodded, but secretly he prayed for the people who would be taking in that stuff. After the green seasickness concoction, he wouldn't want to take any chances.

"And what about you, Jack?"

"I'm gonna restock, and head up with the Elphaba to the Caribbean. I think I know where I can find me old crew."

"What about you, Legolas?"

"I'm going with Jack. I'm heading up to New York after that. Maybe I'll audition for Galinda in Wicked or something."

"Good. Well, I guess this is good-bye."

They stood in a circle, saying their won goodbyes to one another. Jack gave Violet a kiss on the forehead, saying, "You take care of yourself, lass." And Violet replied, "Likewise." Van Helsing also came up, hugging her and saying, "If that Irish lad ever turns vampire, you'll let me know," and turning to Artemis, said, "Watch out for those fairies, Elphie." And he replied, "Take care of yourself, Galinda." Jack and Van Helsing commenced in manly hugs, while Legolas and Violet hugged and had a brief, girly chat. Legolas turned to Artemis and said, "Oh, you humans. You can be so adorable." And hugged him.

"Alright then, I guess we should be shipping off. Maybe we'll meet again someday." Jack said, turning to the boat.

"Definitely," Van Helsing called.

"Definitely," Violet and Artemis said simultaneously.

And with that, the six went their separate ways, into the fresh, welcoming world. Would they see each other again? That, my dear readers, is a question that only time and God knew the answer to for now.

The Baudelaires did wind up buying the house in Ireland. It was a nice place, not too big, but airy and bright overlooking a lake. The whole area itself was perfect for inventing, researching, and cooking- the town nearby filled with museums, libraries, and nice little markets with all sorts of foods and recipes. Occasionally, they would ride down to the majestic Fowl manor to visit their close family friend. The Fowl family in general was very kind to the orphaned millionaires, especially Mrs. Fowl. When Violet and her siblings came home with her beloved son, first Mrs. Fowl threw her skinny arms about Artemis and kissed him all over, cooing all sorts of ridiculous names like "Arty-warty-smarty-barty lovey-kins" which made the poor young man turn several colors of red, white, blue, and a little green. When she had satisfied her motherly affection needs, she paid her attentions to her son's new friends. When Mrs. Fowl learned her son was actually interested in girls in the first place, she took off her reading glasses and smiled. When she met the polite, agreeable Miss Baudelaire; she took the young lady's hand in hers and said, 'how do you do'. But when she learned she was an heiress, now claimer, or an enormous family fortune- the middle-aged, makeup-ed woman threw her hands up and praised St. Peter and everything holy for this lucky day, popping open a bottle of pink champagne. Mr. Fowl was a little more discreet in his happiness, to the Baudelaire's relief. Sunny got the pleasure of chewing on a nice carrot.
Captain Jack Sparrow sailed in to the rowdy island of Tortuga late one cool summer night. Filled with bawdy taverns, drunken fights, and dubious young women with rouge-painted lips, this was Jack's comfort zone, other than the sea. He cat-walked straight to the roughest, toughest tavern their was: the Ugly Mother-in-Law was its name, matching its reputation for being rather dangerous. He walked casually into the back booth, nodding to the familiar faces and dodging various hits from tavern girls. He stopped, and listened to a conversation from a scrappy-looking group of people.

"I say we go an' look for 'im."

"Scrawk! Thar she blows!"

"Cotton's right. We can' forget th' pirate's code. 'Oo-ever falls be'ind, gets left be'ind."

"We've bent that rule before, besides, that code is more thought of as-"

"Guidelines." Everyone finished.

"I think we should just stay here an' enjoy ano'er keg."

"Or we could shave your --- and braid it into a rope to hang ya,"

"That's a little crude, don' ya think?"

"I'm a pirate. I can say wha'ever I like."

"Gettin' back to the point-"

"All in favor of staying 'ere and enjoying a keg say aye,"

"Now," Jack said, approaching with a keg of rum, "You bunch of no-good back-stabbing scallywags wouldn't be talking about me, would ye?"

Everyone turned around, mouths open, to stare at the smirking captain. "Jack!" a woman known as Annamaria cried, rushing to him. "We thought ye was still on tha' island!"

"Well, I got meself off. I am a seaman, you know."

"We were jus' talkin'-"

"About shaving certain impolite areas and making ropes, I heard." He replied. "Lord, you've lost your manners while I was away!"

"Squawk! Fire on the starboard side!"

"Yeah, I don't know what those are either."

Jack sighed, shaking his head. It was good to be back.

"Jack, we're… we're sorry. We turned ya in to tha' island only for a bit o' fun, but they told us they would bring you right back after a while. We didn't-"

"I forgive ye, on one condition." Jack said, "I get me boat back, and you buy me a keg of the strongest spirit in this ruddy town."

A cheer followed, and everyone rushed to the bar. Jack nodded, grinning his usual wily pirate grin. Yup, it was very good to be back.

A pointy-eared man walked into the headquarters building of Vogue. He had white-blonde hair slicked back in a long, straight ponytail, cascading down the back of his pinstripe navy suit. Navy suited him. He had a posh look on his face, ignoring the staring receptionists, interns, and fashion editors. He had style. He carried nothing but a sleek, black leather briefcase, pounding by his tall leg. He didn't ask for directions or an appointment when he exited the elevator on the top floor of the building, heading straight for the Big Office. He knew this place well, no doubt of that. No one said a word while he strolled to the opaque door of the office. He kept his clear blue eyes on the prize. Only the ringing of telephones and beeping of computers could be heard, and even they stopped for a moment as the short click of the door shut.

"Good morning, Veronica," said Legolas, sitting down in a pricey stylish chair. A pointy-eared lady with jet-black hair turned around in a giant V-shaped leather chair.

"Long time no see, Legolas." She replied, words as smooth as velvet. "What brings you to little old New York?"

"Well, I've recently been on a vacation to the tropics, you see, and I have some brilliant new ideas." Legolas said, placing the briefcase on the polished deck.

"Oh?" Veronica said, penciled eyebrow rising. "I'm always eager to hear your ideas, Legolas. They're always so juicy and original as compared to what those human underlings think. Shoot."

"Island Paradise," he said, opening the briefcase to find a lightweight tunic, several natural powders and a berry lip-gloss, and other nice-smelling accessories. "It will be all the rage this summer. Lightweight, durable, and almost entirely au-natural, the new line for this season will be irresistible to even people in the coldest climates, because they look so cute on all the tanned, lei-wearing models. I'll let you cover the advertising, because that's what you do best, Ronnie."

A thin smile spread over Veronica's plump, red lips. "I like it." She said. "I like it a lot."

Legolas tried to keep from doing a smug victory dance. Life was going very well for the beloved, new business elf. And, in a sudden attack of optimism, he knew it was going to get much better.

If you don't have the Wicked soundtrack, go out and buy it NOW, and start playing "For Good", or this will not have the same effect as it's supposed to have on you. Thankies.
Gantus and Van Helsing had been studying in the jungle for a few weeks now. Gantus was inside, writing down some information to put in his notes, talking to himself. Van Helsing sat outside, cleaning his weapons, sipping some tea. The tea and weapons brought up fond memories of shmokydoky, island nights, chasing down Irish boys attempting a homicide, battling vampires atop a mountain, and singing repetitious pirate songs. At the thought of this, a piano appeared out of nowhere, and Gantus sat down, and started to play a detailed accompaniment to a familiar song. A limelight appeared on Van Helsing.

"I've heard it said
that people come into our lives for a reason
bringing soemthign we must learn
and we are led
by those who help us most to grow
if we let them
and we help them in return.

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
but I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you..."

Way up in New York, Legolas sipped a Tazo Chai Latte, when a limelight appeared on him.

"Like a comet pulled from orbit
as it passes a sun

like a stream that meets a boulder
halfway through the wood
who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But, because I knew you
I have been changed for good …"

Back in Ireland, Violet and Artemis sat enjoying a sunny day with Sunny brewing iced cider with spices. Klaus sat in the library, reviewing an English version of the Fairy Code.

"It well may be
that we will never meet again
in this lifetime
so let me say before we part
so much of me
is made from what I learned from you.

You'll be with me
like a handprint on my heart.

And whatever way our stories end,
I know you have re-written mine
by being my friend..."

Jack Sparrow, who had been chugging a keg of rum for the fourth time upon the urging of his crew, suddenly belched.
"Like a ship blown from its mooring
by a wind off the sea,
like a seed dropped by a skybird
in a distant wood-
who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But, because I knew you..."
"Because I knew you..." Legolas paused, scratching at his pointy ear, his blue eyes glazed over like a box of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts (Disclaimer: I OWN KRISPY KREME! FWAHAHA! Okay, it was worth a try, but you know I don't. Sorry, ruining the moment!).
"Because I knew you," Violet smiled knowingly at Artemis.
"I have been changed for good..." Van Helsing cocked his gun, and shot at some random demon flying by on their way to Starbucks, or some random dark abyss.

The sun beamed down upon the different characters in different parts of the world, but yet the very same thought ran through all of their different minds:

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?"
Artemis shaded his eyes for a moment- somewhat reflectively, then glanced back at the young woman smiling at him, and reached over and touched her hand.

"I do believe I have been changed for the better,"

"And because I knew you..."

"Because I knew you..."

"I have been changed... for good."

The band of somehwat deranged, somewhat sweet, but all now much affected people all paused for a moment, before getting back, and on, with their very different lives.

The very unrealistic and somewhat cheesy scene-based-off-of-a-popular-musical moment did have some truth, though. All of them had been changed since they woke up on that deserted, adventuresome island. And, as the song mentioned over and over and over again, they had, in a way, been changed for the better, and most definitely, for good.

The End

Author's Note: Well, I hope you liked it! Have a great summer, thank you for all of your encouragement; I love you all! Farewell, my pretties! Don't forget to review!

anotherblastedromantic