It's been a while since I've updated. So sorry. I haven't been really all that... inspired. Just went through a bit of a family mess. Life is all better, so hopefully my writing will be more consistent. I'm trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with this story. I'm just winging it at this point which I'm disappointed by. My Bellatrix/Hermione story is in the same boat but I plan on writing something for that this evening, for those of you who might be reading that one, too.

This is a shorter chapter than I would like. I couldn't find it in me to write the rest as it would have stopped awkwardly. This seemed more appropriate. The next chapter will come sooner than this one, I assure you. Note, I was very tired when I wrote this. I usually read over them a few times, but not with this one. Too exhausted. :( Hope you like it anyway! You'll prefer the next.

XOXO

I couldn't really refuse when Alice took me to her car, even though all I really wanted to do was lay down and suck my thumb. Not sit in her car and bear what was likely to be awkward silence while she drove us... Well, I didn't know where. The desire to be near her was making my heart hammer so hard in my chest that I could barely breathe. I wanted it to stop. I couldn't take all of these conflicting emotions at once. My heart (a cheesy metaphor for the estrogen, testosterone, serotonin -yada yada, what have you- running rampant inside of the illogical part of my brain) was telling me that I needed to be with her right now. But my mind (the logical part of it) was saying exactly the opposite. You need time on your own. You need time to process. You need. You need. You need. What the fuck do I need?

And yeah, needless to say the drive was tense. Silent. Well, as silent as it can be when your ears are ringing. I pinched my nose and shut my eyes tight, trying desperately for it all to just go away. The silence, the noise, the jumbled, sporadic, confusing thoughts. The blender that my brain was placed in, it needed to stop. All of it. Stop, stop, stop.

I wished that I would wake up. Hoped that all of this was just some silly dream. A silly, confusing, ridiculous dream. Alice didn't know anything about my past. Anything about me apart from my favorite color, what I liked to eat, what books I've read. All of the unimportant, miniscule parts of me. Not the things she was hinting at. Not what happened. Not what's potentially happening now.

But I'm not that stupid. I knew. She knew.

I knew I was being crazy. My anxiety tends to make me overreact and feel like my world is caving in. Just months before I had gotten stuck in an elevator at the mall with Jacob and nearly had a heart attack. It was a windowed elevator, too, so everyone on both the first and second floor could see me, eyes bulging, breathing hard and gripping the handrails like I was on the Titanic. At least now I didn't look quite so moronic, my heavy breathing only slightly noticeable with my eyes closed. ...I probably still looked insane.

Okay, think clearly. What did she say? "I know what happened to your family." Well, that was pretty direct. I understand that much, unfortunately. But what was that other thing? "I've always wanted to be here. I've waited so long to be here."

Well that doesn't make a lot of sense. Not at all. She has always wanted to be here? She's waited so long to be here? I did not, could not understand. The only logical explanation would be that she's a creepy stalkers, maybe drawn to me by the accident or something. I nearly asked her this but it didn't seem right at all. She's was far too normal. Well, sort of. There was something different about her that I couldn't place but it wasn't that kind of different.

Besides, it would be completely narcissistic of me to think that anyone would find me interesting enough to stalk.

But he did, didn't he? Don't think about that, just calm down. Think like an adult. A fully functioning adult.

My mind battled with itself for a few more minutes before it turned off. Not that I'm complaining. My heart-rate declined to a normal level and my chest didn't feel tight anymore. I could finally breathe again. I felt Alice's eyes on me but I had zoned out and couldn't tear my eyes from the yellow lines dotting the road. "Where are we going?" I spoke softly, my voice a little raspy.

"I don't know. Somewhere you feel comfortable?"

Her voice seemed to relax me further. She sounded sincere, reminding me that I didn't have anything to really freak out about. Alice was respectful. It made me feel embarrassed by my overreaction. More than embarrassed. Ashamed. But I shrugged the feeling aside and decided to simply focus on the words exchanging. I drummed my thigh with my fingers, the tapping a coping mechanism I seemed to develop over time. I couldn't think of anywhere in particular where I 'felt comfortable,' so I just pulled something out from thin air. "I don't have any place special. How about Voula's? They have good coffee." (I didn't want to mention that they also had the best biscuits and gravy I ever had in my life. My eating habits were not something to boast about.)

"Sure." I could see her nod from my peripheral vision and finally broke out of my trance to fully turn my head. She had a small smile on the road that faded into a serious expression. She didn't look angry, just concerned.

"What did you mean when you said you 'always wanted to be here?'" I made air quotations, keeping my face as expressionless as possible. I didn't want her to see just how absolutely confused I was. "You've only known me for a short time."

"Well, it's a long explanation." She narrowed her eyes in thought. "I hope you don't think I'm some kind of stalker." She smirked a little, her eyes moving between me and the road like she knew what I had been thinking. I blushed. "I have a lot to tell you. Let me buy you that coffee and I'll tell you everything, scouts' honor."

I suppressed a chuckle despite the situation and turned my attention back to the buildings outside of the window.

Xxx

Voula's was thankfully empty, which was a rarity at this time of day. The weather had taken a turn for the worse, the rain coming down hard. It was pelting the windows so loudly it sounded like hail.

We were sat at a table off to the side. More privacy. I ordered a coffee and played with the menu sitting in front of me. I felt Alice studying me so I moved my eyes to her's, challenging. "Well, tell me all you want to tell me. I'm really confused by the tenses you used." A sarcastic chuckle escaped as I looked down at the menu again and flipped it open, pretending to look through it. I was really not that hungry but Alice insisted that I get something to eat. I didn't understand why since she refused a menu to begin with. She didn't even ask for a drink and the water the waitress brought over by default was pushed to the side.

Alice placed a hand over my own, trying to get my attention. I wasn't expecting the gesture and flinched at the temperature. Freezing cold. She withdrew and I looked up at her with what I hoped was an apologetic smile. It probably looked forced.

She sighed and looked around to make sure we were safe from attention before ducking her head, eyes intensely focused on my own. "Before I go any further I want you to know that you can trust me. I'm not here to hurt you. And if you leave here never wanting to see me again," She paused. Her voice got quiet. "I will understand and respect that."

"Okay." I nodded and sipped my coffee. It wasn't as good as usual.

Alice breathed in and sighed heavily, "Okay. I suppose I should start off by telling you that I know who is responsible for your family's death."

I gulped and tried to keep my eyes on the coffee, willing away the emotions that were bubbling in my gut. She continued slowly. Carefully.

"I understand that it was... Unorthodox. He was strong. Fast. Red eyes. Am I right?"

I had trouble keeping my jaw shut, finding myself nauseous. I could only nod.

"He wasn't human, Bella."

My head snapped up and took in Alice's expression. She was serious, not mocking like I expected. I knew it.

"You weren't crazy. My father knew it, of course, but he wasn't in the position to tell you. He wanted to leave that to me."

"Why?"

"We're not there yet, though that is definitely something I want to tell you." She paused. "Well, I'm hesitant, but you get what I mean."

"I guess." I sipped my coffee, eyes still on her.

"The man who attacked you... His name is James. And... This is the difficult part." She sighed again and her eyes seemed to grow dark. James. He said his name was James. I never told anyone this before, so she had to be telling the truth.

"James is a vampire."