A/N: Hey people I'm back with another chapter, I know this one took too long however I swamped with Project I'll try to update faster next time.

I will never own Hetalia… never can and never will… I can only dream though

Only thing I own is the story line and the OC characters Maria and Nene.

Hetalia User Manual's belong to Lollidictator.

Chapter 5 - Morning fights

The sound of caramel loud crowing was what brought Maria away from dream land at 6am. This usually happened every morning, however someday she would ignore it and laze around.

However today wasn't one of those days...

It was warm...that what Maria noted as she opened her eyes, she yawned before she stiffened. Someone had her arms around her; she quickly looked at the floor to see if there was still a certain white haired albino sleeping there.

He wasn't.

Maria frowned as she turned her head to look behind her and saw Gilbert was spooning her in his sleep. He kept muttering the word awesome while having some drool at the side of his face. Normally most fan girls would probably scream in happiness and grab the nearest video camera to capture this image of the great Gilbert sleeping

However Maria only had one thought, 'Ew! He's getting drool all over the pillows.'

It had been nearly a week since she got both units and during those days the small town was hit with a rather strange weather change. It was starting to get colder, well she wasn't surprised it was already the middle of November and also this house wasn't heat insulated.

One of the house drawbacks was as soon as it got colder the house would be a few degrees even lower. So when this happened Gilbert decided that he was going to sleep in her bed since 'the awesome me is too awesome to freeze in the cold.' As he put it and that how it came for Gilbert sleeping in her bed.

Though the first time she woke up to him, she screamed and proceeded to beat his ass off with a giant dictionary she had been using the night before and Gilbert was conked out for the rest of the day…

Maria yawned as she pinched Gilbert's nose restricting him of his air supply. She learned during the week that when Gilbert had a hold of something in his sleep it was hard to make him let go.

Gilbert snorted as he flailed his arms as he sat up and looked around with half-lid eyes, however Maria ended up rolling off the bed and landed with a thud.

"ow…"

"kesesesese."

"Shut up Gilbert. Besides you got to get up and feed the chickens."

Prussia only frowned as he got up. "I'm not letting that stupid chicken beat me this time."

Maria chuckled, since living with her, Gilbert's job had been feeding the chickens twice a day during the whole entire week Gilbert and Caramel had been getting into fights, it was quite a funny site to see a grown man fighting a rather large rooster especially when the guy loses to a rooster twelve times out of fourteen.

Gilbert only got lucky on the two occasions, the first time was because he managed to push Caramel into a tube of water that the cows drank getting him soaked and the second time Dugo had interfered when the two fought into the corral and managed to spill the hay on the ground.

Maria managed to record that on her cellphone and show it to Nene when she got home.

She looked out from her window and tried desperately not to laugh as she looked over at Prussia who put on some black pants. "Hey Gilbert?"

"What?"

"you better hurry because it looks like caramel's waiting for you." She stated

Gilbert walked towards the window and took a peek outside. On top of the chicken coop Caramel was glaring at him as if he was saying that he's waiting for him to get his ass out from the room.

He gave out a smirk as he grabbed a nearby shirt and started running down the stairs.

Maria only chuckled as she got out into the hall and knocked on the door that was on the other side of the wall.

"Nene wake up you got to get ready for school." She yelled

The sounds of Nene grumbling and something being thrown at the door was her answer.

Maria chuckled, "alright then, I'll just go milk the cows.

Meanwhile in the Kitchen

Shadow was lying on a nearby chair as he watched the Frenchman cook up breakfast for the morning.

Francis sweat dropped as he felt Shadow's eyes on him. For the whole week that Francis had arrived, the German shepherd hadn't left the Frenchmen's side and when Francis locked himself in the bathroom. Shadow just laid on the floor and waited for the Frenchmen to get out, no matter what Francis did Shadow refused to let him out of his sight.

Even at night where he slept in the old art room, Shadow had decided he was sharing the bed with the Frenchman by sleeping at the foot of the bed, any sudden movements and Shadow would let out an angry growl telling the Frenchman. 'If you leave this room without my permission, I'm going to maul your face off.' Shadow would only let him leave when it was the next morning when he could hear movement from upstairs signaling him that his lady and the young miss were awake.

Which lead right now to this situation…

Francis let out a yawn as he flipped over one of his French crepes on a rather large pan. He wasn't use to getting up so early, however this new home he was suddenly in demanded for everyone to be awaken very early.

The sounds of footsteps echoed from the stairs as he saw Gilbert slide down from the railing as he looked over to Francis. "Morning Franny can't talk right now, I have to go beat a stupid chi…er I mean feed the chickens, because they miss the awesome me presence."

"Yes, yes Gilbert have fun." Francis muttered

"kesesese…"

He opened the back door as he started running towards the chicken coop ready for another round with Caramel.

Francis chuckled his friend was sometime rather stupid however that's what made him a great friend.

"Morning Francis…." A rather feminine voice responded.

Francis turned around to see Maria in a red jacket and wearing some faded blue jeans, her hair was a little messy however the way it stood made her look rather cute.

"Morning Belle Maria, Did you have a wonderful sleep." He asked

Maria frowned as she crossed her arms. "If you call Gilbert crushing me in his sleep, while drooling on my pillows wonderful. Then yes."

"Honhonhonhon, I didn't think you too were in that type of relationship."

Maria blushed, "I'm not, stop thinking perverted thing Francis." She gulped down her café con leche and started walking towards the door. "I'm going to go feed the cows, Make sure Nene eats her breakfast and gets ready for school."

"Of course, my lady anything for you."

Nene grumbled as she looked over to her clock as it blared the numbers 7:05 on the screen. She sighed; Maria always tried to wake her up early to do a few chores however she needed her beauty sleep more. But now it was time to get up.

Nene quickly dressed into a pair of blue pants and a long white sleeve shirt with a picture of Gir on it before grabbing her backpack and entering Maria's room.

She looked over to her sister's desk before spotting the object she was looking for.

Maria's Laptop…

She actually wanted to take it to school because Maria computer could create its own Wi-Fi source so she could go on the internet without being blocked by the school's fire wall.

Really it sucked when you can't read any Yaoi when you needed it, as well as going onto you tube and watching Invader Zim as well.

She quickly stuffed the laptop into her backpack as she trotted downstairs to the kitchen. Her mouth started to water as the sweet smell of Francis crepes were in the air.

When she turned to see the kitchen and blinked as she noticed Maria with the first aid kit and was currently disinfecting one of the rather large cuts on Gilbert's arm

"Scheiβe, be careful, Miss B-cup." He muttered

Maria only grabbed a big piece of cloth and poured some rubbing alcohol on it before shoving it to Gilbert's face were a few scratches were there bleeding.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Gilbert screamed as he took the cloth away from his face.

"What the Hell!" He screamed.

"Quit calling me Miss B-cup, besides it's not my fault you fell on that prickly bush."

"Then why haven't you cut the stupid thing down if you know it's there."

"Because I rather like it, especially when a stupid Prussian falls on it because a rooster chased him."

"Hey I got that bastard back by pulling a few tail feathers out, just a few more and I can make my own feathered Mohawk."

"Keep your mouth shut, idiot." She muttered as she bandaged his arm.

Nene couldn't help but to smirk as she walked in and sat down as she looked at a plate of crepes in front of her.

"Ah, you are finally awake. Mon chéri." Francis greeted her.

"Yeah, no thanks to their yelling." Nene muttered as she took a bite of the crepe.

"I see, now eat up or you'll be late for school." Francis told her.

Nene quickly stuffed herself with the crepe in front of her; it was rather delicious then again anything Francis made was delicious.

After a few minutes she was done the sound of a car honking was heard from outside.

"There's my ride." She drank her glass of milk quickly before heading out the door.

"Hey Nene you forgot something?" Maria yelled

Nene sighed as she walked over to her sister before giving her a peck to the cheek. "There are you happy."

Maria smiled, "Yup."

Francis then came up to her as he handed her a large basket. "It's lunch so you don't have to eat the school's nasty food."

"Thanks Francis." Nene muttered

"call me big brother." He said happily

"how about no…" she retorted

France made a rather weird whining sound, and then he wrapped his arms around Nene. "Oh how can be so cruel to Big Brother France."

"Easy, by completely ignoring your French whining." She said happily as she got out of Francis embrace as she walked out the door where her ride was waiting for her.

"See ya later Nene." Maria yelled as she waved her hand.

"See ya Maria, By the way I have your laptop I'm going to borrow it for a while bye now." She yelled back.

The car drove off leaving Maria speechless for a moment, "Hey wait a minute I never gave you permission to grab my stuff come back here brat."

"Um… Frau I don't think she can hear you anymore." Gilbert said annoyingly

"I know that, and don't call me Frau, I know what that means and I have name so use it."

"oh yeah so what does it mean?" He asked thinking she didn't know any German.

"It means woman in German dumbass." She yelled

Gilbert frowned, "Your just jealous of the awesome me super awesome brain."

"That isn't even a sentence, you know what I'm too upset to care, I'm going to make some tamales for dinner."

"But it's 7:30 in the morning." Francis muttered

"I know that puto, however Tamales are very delicate recipe and it can take a matter of hours to complete it especially when I'm planning to make about 60."

"why?" Gilbert asked

"Each one will represent the number of times I wanted to beat your sorry ass." She said darkfully

Gilbert gulped as he watched the small Mexican woman go inside the house and prepare to make some tamales

Later

Francis was on the couch with Shadow right next to him; Francis had to wonder if the pooch ever slept or ate because it was starting to get creepy when the pooch never left his side for anything.

Shadow on the other hand was only ignoring the Frenchman's stare as it watched the Frenchmen's soap opera. His eyes were on the TV watching a pretty cute looking golden retriever lying on the giant bed.

Shadow ears perked up as he heard a strange yet familiar sound as he turned his head away from the T.V. and turned to the front door. He quickly got up as he started running and let himself out through the broken living room window.

"Hmm, I wonder why suddenly the big pooch decided to leave me alone." Francis muttered out loud.

The sounds of screaming could be heard outside. Maria turned away from the large pot filled with tamales as she wiped her hands with a nearby cloth and headed towards the door.

Again there stood out favorite delivery guy Eric…

"Hey Carl, nice to see you again" She smiled

"My name is Eric; you called me Carl the last time as well." He said as he avoided Shadow who seemed to want to jump him.

Maria cocked her head to the side. "But you look more like a Carl to me."

"Yeah whatever just tell your dog to get away from me?" He muttered

Maria gave out a small whistle, as Shadow retreated from biting Eric's butt and walked back inside. Maria gave him a tiny smirked as he handed her the signing board.

"So who did I get this time?" She asked

"You'll find out soon enough." He replied

Eric moved the giant crate into the living room as he noticed Francis just lying there.

"Bonjour." France gave him a wink

Eric sweat dropped as he quickly moved away from the room and grabbed the signing board away from Maria and gave her the manual.

"Next time have the dog on a leash or something."

"No promises Eric." She said smiling

"It's Carl."

"Whatever…" She said boredly

Maria shut the door on his face as she looked at the name on the manual.

ARTHUR KIRKLAND: User Guide and Manual

.

.

.

Maria couldn't help but to be a little disappointed after all she had been expecting to at least get a Spain unit instead. Life was certainly full of disappointment.

"so who did we get?"

Maria jumped in surprised as Gilbert appeared next to her grabbing the manual from his hands.

"How long were you behind me?" She asked

"I came in awesomely when you weren't looking…Aw we got big brows I was hoping to get Antonio."

"Angleterre?" Francis muttered

Maria looked at the crate, so instead of getting a hot sexy Spaniard in her household, she instead got some prissy Brit who couldn't cook to save his life and enjoyed making doilies and sipped tea and was a grammar Nazi when it came to the English language.

.

.

.

It was official they were all going to die in the hands of the British.

She also needed someone to guard the kitchen just in case England decided they needed to taste good English food.

"hey Hey HEY!"

Maria blinked from her thoughts as she looked over to Gilbert and Francis.

"Um..Yes?"

"I said are you going to wake him up." Gilbert asked

"Yeah…just hand me the manual." Maria said as she extended her hand.

Maria looked at the ways to get England out from the crate.

She didn't feel like going out to get hamburgers, really if she did that Nene would refuse to eat the tamales and she sure as hell wasn't going to waste food.

She looked at option number two, she sighed Nene had decided to take her laptop to school today.

Option three required scotch or whiskey…she frowned the poor bastard wasn't getting any of that. All that was around the house was beer, tequila, German beer, expensive French wine (she had to waste money when Francis insisted her needed it for cooking purposes.) and a few bottle of Dr. Pepper.

She looked at the fourth option; It required Spanish or French food.

Maria set the manual down as she ran back into the kitchen and opened the large lid from the giant pot that the tamales were in.

Francis and Gilbert wondered what was taking so long after a few short minutes Maria came back with a plate of tamales.

"Alright I guess option four will have to do, you two get behind the couch."

She set the plate down on the counter and hid quickly hid beside them.

"Hey?" Gilbert muttered

"What?" She replied

"Isn't that food from Mexico, the manual said Spanish, not Mexican."

Maria sighed. "If I recall my History, Tamales were used as a staple food during the Spanish conquistador stay in Mexico and the tamales were then spread through other Spanish colonies, plus you think England will know the difference. One whiff of it and hell think it's a Spanish dish,"

"Then why hasn't he come out?" Francis asked

"Eh?"

"It's been three minutes already." He replied as he got up from the couch

"Hey check the manual." Gilbert yelled

"I can't" Maria replied

"Why not?" He asked

I left the manual next to the tamales." She said as she face palm

"Dumbass."

"Alright I guess that means I have to open the crate don't I?"

"Yeah now move your unawesome ass will you."

"Jerk."

"You know you love me." He got up as he opened the door to the kitchen. "If you need me, I'll be in your unawesome room listening to your somewhat awesome music."

She watched him go; France looked at her before holding out his hand. Maria blinked at him, "What do you want?"

"I need money to buy more food for tomorrow's dinner."

"Why? I have food already done for tonight." She yelled at him, Maria certainly wasn't going to waste money because he wanted something different.

"Yes, however I want something French tomorrow" He said softly

Maria frowned, "Aren't you at least going to stay here to get England out of the crate."

France looked at the crate for a moment it was tempting to wait for Angleterre. "I'll bug him after I come back."

He grabbed the money she had pulled out from her wallet and walked out the door leaving Maria by herself with the crate.

Ok that was weird for once a pervert like Francis didn't want to wait for her to wake up England that was already ringing alarms in her head. However she just grumbled as she looked at the crate for a moment before noticing a latch to the side. She unhinged it before removing the top and peering inside.

Indeed it was England…

However it was much rather different England sporting a rather pirated looking outfit laying there asleep.

Maria blushed; alright what person wouldn't blush looking at a gorgeous man sleeping in a crate.

'Oh God, I'm sounding like some sort of stalker, more preferably like France.' She thought

She noticed England's eyes twitch as he opened her eyes and finally notice her staring at him.

"Um hi…"

Suddenly Pirate England grabbed her wrist as he pulled her closer to him. "Your look like a Spanish wench, don't tell me I'm at that bastard house."

Maria blinked for a moment before she realized what he was referring to…

"Um, no you are not in Spain, you're actually in America."

Then why do you look like a bloody Spaniard."

"That's because I'm from Mexico, dumbass."

Pirate England raised an eyebrow, god those eye brows were massive. "What is this Mexico?"

Maria mentally face palm. Of course this was Pirate England she was talking about so he wouldn't know anything about the future including that countries and technology have change drastically.

"I'm mean New Spain."

England only growled as he shoved her away, Maria landed on her butt as England finally got out of the crate. "Well since I'm here guess you just have to be my slave then."

Maria blinked

.

.

.

'Did he just say slave?' she thought before getting up and looking at him directly in the eye.

"Listen here you dirty Pirate! I am no one' slave and I'll be damned before I let someone who thinks he's so high and might to think that about me, puto."

England glared at her before smirking as he pulled out his cutlass from his pants before pointing it at Maria. "I see you have some fire in you, but like hell am I allowing a bloody dago insult me." He pressed the sharp end of the cutlass to her neck as she took a few steps back until she hit the wall.

The pirate smirked, "you need to be taught some manners."

Maria growled, alright this definitely what she wasn't expecting. She glared at the pirate as she grabbed the cutlass tightly and pulled it away from her. She winced as the blood slowly seeped from her hand.

'Ok maybe that wasn't a good idea.' She thought. This was probably why Francis and Gilbert left so she could deal with this bastard.

Before the two could continue, England was suddenly brought down when something large tackled him down and gave a huge chomp to his leg.

Shadow teeth gnawed onto England's leg, He had smelled his owner's blood a few seconds ago and had snuck in through the window to see a rather strange man holding a sharp object to her and saw the blood seeping from his owner hand.

No one was supposed to make her bleed, unless they wanted to die.

"Oi you bloody prat," The pirate growled as he tried to kick the rather large dog with his leg. Shadow gave a large yelp as he was kicked to his side.

Maria soon acted. "You Bastard, don't you dare hurt my dog." She held him in lace on the floor. As Shadow got up again and stood by his master's side as he growled at England.

"I demand you, let me go wench." He started struggling as he managed to get one of his hands free and gave Maria a left hook to the face, knocking her back.

Maria wiped the blood from her lips as she watched the English pirate stand up.

England winced as his leg throbbed; dammit he knew he was going to be sore tomorrow and all because he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He noticed the dog getting up and started barking at him.

"Well you bloody mutt, seems you have a death wish. Are you really going to fight me for your master's sake?" He said as he thrusted his cutlass at him. Shadow only gave out a snarl as he lunged at the pirate and managed to dodge the sharp edge of his sword and bit down at his arm.

"Fucken kraut…" He swore, as he was brought down again. He could feel the dog's teeth going into his arm he gritted his teeth as felt his blood seeping through his coat.

"Shadow, stop!" Maria commanded

Shadow ears perked up as he looked over to Maria who had stood up, a bruise was forming at her cheek, and a small limp but other than that she was fine.

The German shepherd let go of England's arms as he walked over to his master and stood next to her as she patted his head. "Good job boy, I'll handle it from here."

Maria walked over to England as she grabbed the cutlass from the floor and pointed it at England. "Now then we will try this again. My name is Maria Hidalgo Guerrero, and welcome to my home. May I ask for your name Captain or do you want another round with Shadow here."

England frowned for a moment before giving out a smile. "You got a lot of guts for a lass, to point my own weapon against me. Though I have to give you credit, most women I give a good left hook to the face would start crying."

"I'm not like other girls." She put the cutlass on the counter as she extended her hand to help him up.

"I can see that." He grabbed her hand as he was suddenly stood up.

England winced as he applied some pressure on his leg. "Bloody hell that mutt of yours really knows how to bite."

"Of course he does, he's my friend and the one who guards the house. It's only natural for him to defend the person that has taken such good care of him, now let see if we can't bandage you up, captain."

"Kirkland…" he muttered

"Hmm…"

"My name is Arthur Kirkland, lass and you better not forget about it."

"Of course not, Captain Kirkland." She replied as she led him to the bathroom.

A/N: and I end it there because I wanted to, for the love of god I couldn't find a good intro for Pirate England to come out quietly in only came out as a huge fight fest between Maria and him.

The reason I have this England ask so many questions s because in my theory when it comes to units they be programed to what they know and thus he would only know info of his time meaning basic technology such as the phone or the shower wouldn't exist in his programming as well as new geography and changes such as Mexico no longer being called New Spain or the fact that he longer controls America anymore…

Wow… now 'm excited to see when America will show up but that won't be till a few more chapters.

Also England called Shadow a Kraut because hey it a German dog…

Also another unit will come in the next chapter though you're going to have to guess which one it is. I'll give you a hint – DATASS…