Disclaimer: I do not own any movies set up in the Marvel Cinematic Universe or Star Wars movies, cartoons, games, books, or comics. They belong to their respective copyright owners. This story is not created with a commercial aim. It is not for sale or rent.

Phase 10: We are not the best vacation spot right now

=SI=

Part 3

=SI=

NORAD

Colorado

On duty at this station, a quiet night was always a good night. This was especially true for the officers within the nerve center of the installation in the know about the universe at large. In mid-June 2011, those were a pair of Colonels from the US and Canadian Air Forces. They were both aware that their real job was less about tracking a potential nuclear launch from someone insane on Earth and looking for an incursion from space.

Despite that, habit and nothing unusual happening ever since they got assigned to their current posts meant that no one was really expecting an alert. The Colonels' primary task was to keep the specialists operating the various stations across the large operations room awake and aware, focused on monitoring their tasks.

The last major excitement was the Norks testing the odd missile; however, that wasn't NORAD's responsibility until and unless Kim's goons got a missile that might reach the Continental, the United States, without flying apart first.

Nowadays, the preferred method of keeping awake and aware was discussing what Stark might buy after digesting Star Wars and if he could improve the favorite science fiction franchise of the people in the room.

Needless to say, many specialists with the know-how to work in NORAD were nerds of one stripe or another.

"It's a win-win situation! Star Wars walkers suck! If Stark buys Battletech, he might make a crossover of sorts and get Star Wars-proper mechs! He's admitted he created an energy weapon because he was inspired by watching A New Hope! Who knows, he might get to end the age of Los Tech and shake up the endless status quo of Battletech!" One of the specialists eagerly waved a hand holding an empty coffee cup.

"I want him to get Babylon Five so we see it continued or remastered for a new generation! That was some of the best science fiction I've watched! It got me sane through university and basic training!"

"Do we actually have a betting pool about what Stark will buy next?" Colonel Lavigne asked.

"Not about science fiction. Wasn't six billion a bit steep even for him? Stark should need some time to make up those billions."

"I don't know; he and his corporation practically have a license to print money. Fusion, upgrading the power grid…."

Colonel Vega nodded at those words. "Hell, just for making that reality, I would vote for him if he ever runs for Governor or President!"

"Do you think…" An alarm interrupted them. "What do we have?" Lavigne demanded.

"Some weird disturbance above New Mexico. We're getting radar interference in the region…."

"Stand by… two commercial flights report weird weather phenomena and requesting to diverge from their course…."

"We've got communications interference as well… Cannon and Holloman Air Bases are calling using ground links. We have reliable reports of unusual weather phenomena that are blanketing radar and scrambling radio communications. Cannon And Holloman are scrambling ready fighters to investigate…."

"This is more than weird enough to request calling it up," Vega decided. Wake up the General. I'll call the relevant people…"

=SI=

Thor found himself on a wet plain that wasn't quite desert. Odd short shrubs were everywhere, coming out of the sand and eroding soil. It was dark, with ragged clouds above. He didn't recognize the sky. It wasn't Asgard's or one of the realms he and the Warriors Three tended to frequent.

"Father! Haimdal!" He shouted at the sky. "I know you can hear me! Open the Bifrost!"

Thor waited a few long moments, stewing in anger at Odin's parting words. He did what he thought was right! He was worthy of his heritage!

"Well?! Open up!" Thor roared as loud as he could. Some small animals scurried away in fright, but that was all his efforts did.

The Asgardian Prince paced around the place where the Bifrost threw him, waiting for his father to change his mind or for someone to change it for him. It took him almost until dawn to come to grips with the fact that something like that was implausible. His mother often found it impossible to convince Odin otherwise when the old bastard felt particularly stubborn.

Thor roared in frustration and then called his trusty hammer to him. All he got in response was an echo from the connection a weapon and wielder shared. He got a vague idea that Mjolnir was somewhere to the right, but that was it. The hammer refused to come to him! Was this a curse thrown by Odin?! He shook his head in vexation and marched through the plain, trying to call Mjolnir repeatedly. When that didn't pan out by the time the local star was rising, Thor tried to fly up and towards his weapon.

All he got for his trouble was a jumping skip that ended up with his face planted solidly into a patch of wet sand. Thor ro

lled to his back, spitting soil and tiny pieces of rock.

"Why, Father?!" He roared at the sky. "What am I supposed to do down here!?"

=SI=

Site Alpha
New Mexico

The sword might be new, but at least across the US and, for now, Europe and China, it had both reach and teeth. A proof of this was the force already deployed by the time I got to the site of the suspected alien incursion. Up-armored HUMVEEs, Strykers, and a couple of Bradleys formed a well-defended perimeter. I could see that at least a third of the infantry visible outside had passive exosuit and carried SAWs or grenade launchers. Everyone was loaded for bear as our SOPs required. So far, so good.

The Blackhawk I rode on rose and left for a better parking spot after the last member of my Sword security detail jumped out. The rest of my bodyguards waited with the jet that brought us to the Holloman Air Force base.

"Mr. Stark," A Captain in field uniform came to greet me. "I'm Captain Theodore Elis, CO of SWORD Two. We've got an artifact that gives out all kinds of strange readings. We are ninety-nine percent sure this isn't a hoax," He grimaced. "Well, unless alien larpers decided it was a good time to fuck with us. This way, sir."

He led me to an isolation tent meant to reasonably contain NBC materials due to thick synthetic walls holding lead layers between them. The thing was heavy and damn unpleasant to set up. Still, invaluable for field study of dangerous substances, or so they told me when we were approving what equipment SWORD might need in the future.

"Are we sure this is the only site incursion happened?" I asked as we approached the tent.

"The disturbances covered more than half the state. We've got satellites and drones looking for anything out of the ordinary, and federal agents are out in force asking questions," Elis reported. "So far, we couldn't detect any harmful radiation, however…." He trailed off and glanced at me with a pained expression on his face.

"Assume the thing is hot and radiating something nasty we can't detect," I nodded. You better be paranoid and alive instead of dead or worse.

The isolation tent had two compartments. An inner one surrounded the artifact, and the outer one, where specialists flew in after the soldiers secured the site and deployed all kinds of monitoring equipment and the best portable sensors money could buy.

"What do we have here, folks?"

"Mr. Stark… It's a damn hammer, of all things! If it weren't for what we're detecting, I would be sure that bastard Hammer's pulling a PR stunt. The lack of reporters does help to disprove his involvement…." Dr. Kurt Wagner spoke fast with just a hint of an Austrian accent. "That thing is radiating electromagnetic radiation. If the magnitude was larger when it landed, it could partly explain the disruption in radio communications and what happened to the radars covering this state."

I looked at a nearby screen to see that. Indeed, there was a hammer in the isolation chamber. It had a head that was a square of solid metal, with what appeared to be a wooden hilt, ending up with a leather strap that a person could use to wrap around their wrist or put on a belt. That thing had the appearance of a medieval weapon and not a regular Warhammer meant to breach plate armor. It was more of a maul meant for breaking rocks.

The hammer stood on a sand platform that was fused in and partially turned into a glass, surrounded by a crater. The wooden part, much less the leather strap I could see, shouldn't have survived the energies involved in that thing slamming into the ground hard enough to create such a crater.

"You know, Captain, this might be an alien prank," I shook my head at the 'artifact.' It wasn't like it was unheard of rich idiots playing pranks on less developed cultures. They at least usually had the courtesy of doing so to civilizations that already had contact with the galaxy at large. "Spectral analysis?"

"We don't recognize any of the materials involved," Dr. Wagner told me. "Herbie over there has been trying to get a sample for the last half an hour," He pointed at a tracked robot with multiple manipulators holding various instruments. Its paint scheme explained the name. The robot was near the single door of the isolation chamber. "We can't even cut a piece of that leather strap, so whatever it is, a regular leather it is not! It's fascinating, even if you're right, and this is a prank! We've got unknown materials to play with, so it's more than worth it!"

"There's that," I nodded in agreement. "When you're reasonably sure the thing isn't hot, get someone to suit up and have the hammer removed to a proper research facility," I wasn't about to fuck with the thing until it was in a real laboratory, and we were surer it wasn't hot.

We went back outside.

"I have the nagging feeling that this isn't all we could find after last night, Captain. Do inform when your people find anything of interest, no matter how mundane it might seem," The Force was in motion like someone threw a rock into a calm pond. I could feel in my bones that there was more to this, something important, yet I couldn't recall what it might be. This left me waiting for the other shoe to drop.

=SI=

Part 4

=SI=

Site Alpha

New Mexico

"A hammer?" General Danvers didn't sound happy at my confirmation of what we had in the isolation chamber. "Stark, it's not the first of April. Are you fucking with me?"

"It's a damn hammer, with a leather strap that a robot can't cut through to take a sample from, and what appears to be a wooden handle which is the same. It is also emitting electromagnetic radiation. Otherwise, it appears not to be hot; however, we aren't taking any chances. If some more tests turn out negative, we'll send someone in an environmental suit to pick up the damn thing, though we might need to do something about the sand it appears to be fused with. I want the hammer in a proper laboratory. If that thing is a prank, no matter if it's alien or not, the materials it appears to be made of and their toughness have fascinating implications."

"So, more things for you to play with and sell to us when you can mass produce?" Danvers sounded calmer, no.

"That's a general idea, yes. I also have the nagging suspicion that this is not everything we might find."

"Are you a fortune teller now?" The General asked in frustration.

"I can feel and manipulate an energy field. This sometimes allows me to sense disturbances in it. I am pretty sure the hammer is not the only thing to find in this state after last night's shenanigans. I'll be here for the time being, keeping my eyes open and waiting for further developments."

"Try not to create an interstellar incident or worse, Mr. Stark." Danvers abruptly cut off.

"Are you a Jedi or something now, sir?" The Captain wasn't entirely joking. As a CO of one of SWORD's Quick Reaction Forces, he was at least partially aware of my circumstances.

"Or something. It's unreliable, but sometimes I do get, let's call it, a sixth feeling. When it activates, there's usually something dangerous or interesting around. Mine's twitching," I explained, trying not to plaint myself like a Jedi or Sith, at least before I've been able to change public perception of the latter.

"What do you require from us, sir?"

"Keep your eyes open for the other shoe to drop, which is not useful advice considering we have no idea what we're dealing with."

I returned to the tent and began looking over all the data the myriad of sensors could gather.

To be frank, I could sense no danger coming from the artifact, though that wasn't reliable. The Force wouldn't necessarily warn you if you went and did something that was obviously dumb and dangerous. We might be perfectly safe from the hammer while it was in the containment chamber. The same wouldn't necessarily be true if we went inside without the proper protection. The Force might now warn me if I decided just to open the door and pick the damn thing up.

The same was true about entering an active reactor core if possible – doing so would be suicidal. However, the Force wouldn't be screaming at you that doing it was dangerous. It was the same as going into a battle. You should know the risks and that you would be constantly surrounded by danger. Under such conditions, something could slip by you. Like in the Jedi's case back in the day, their Clone Army turned on them if they received Order 66.

According to all the sensors, the worst that might happen if you picked up the thing was to get a mild electric shock. No alpha, beta, or gamma radiation, no thermal emissions, just ebbing and flowing electromagnetic radiation.

A few hours of brainstorming and testing, even trying to probe the thing with the Force from outside the isolation chamber, resulted in nothing new.

"I think we've got all we can with portable equipment," Dr. Wagner suggested.

"Call the Captain, so he can begin arranging transport and get a volunteer in a hard suit," I agreed.

The suit was partially based on NASA space suits incorporating radiation-absorbent layers that were a straight copy of what astronauts used. The same was true about the helmet, which could also close an outer lid meant to absorb radiation.

Unsurprisingly, our volunteered, or voluntold, person was a gung-ho Private. A few of the scientists on SWORD payroll fiddled with the suit while helping the boy get in, ensuring he was sealed in properly. With that out of the way, we gathered to watch on camera Alba's exploits.

Moving in the damn suit was quite awkward, and our volunteer clearly hadn't been trained in using it. That much was painfully obvious.

"Captain, you'll be writing a memo about the need to train in utilizing environmental suits in the field. I'll sign it up as well, and we'll send it to the Director. Next time we might have to fight using either such suits or, if we're lucky, just MOPP gear."

Elis grimaced at that. After my experiences, it was hard to wrap my head that soldiers here on Earth weren't accustomed to constantly wearing and fighting in armor that could be easily scaled up if it wasn't already as an SOP. Now, granted, what protective gear was available was a far cry from what I was accustomed to, yet that wasn't a good enough excuse to get messed up by chemicals or radiation.

"Is this some kind of a prank?" Yet another vote for the possibility. This time it was Private Alba.

He was trying to pull the hammer away from its fused perch, to no avail.

"The damn thing is super-glued to the rock!" Alba protested.

"Private, step away from the artifact. We'll have Herbie use a drill to cut through the fused sand and glass foundation. You should be perfectly safe within that suit," Wagner tried to reassure the young soldier. One of his minions went to the robot's control panel, and Herbie came to life. Its cameras moved, focusing on the target. One of its larger manipulators rose from the chassis, showing a wicked-looking drill.

"Did someone design this thing for Robot Wars?" I asked no one in particular.

More than a few of Wagner's minions exchanged pointed looks. Miasma of guilt and satisfaction at a job well done pushed away the blanket of curiosity covering the tent.

A persisting, very irritating whine came from the isolation chambers. Muting the microphones did only so much. The place wasn't sound isolated, which was something to consider adding as a feature.

Herbie did a quick work of the fused foundation. It snapped with a crack under the hammer's weight after the drill weakened it sufficiently. Herbie waved its manipulators in victory, then went back to stand vigil near the door.

Private Alba marched to the fallen hammer and pushed away a few bits of fused sand. He grabbed it by the hilt, then heaved.

"That's not right?!" Alba exclaimed after stumbling back in failure.

For the record, Alba wasn't a small man. Even if that thing weighed an order of magnitude more than its metal hammerhead suggested, he should have been able to lift it easily.

He tried repeatedly, visibly shaking with effort, to no avail.

"Things just got more interesting…" I muttered. "Dr. Wagner, have the Private step back," I ordered and focused on the camera. The Force stirred slowly as I drew on it. The shallow spring flowing through me bubbled in excitement.

My telekinetic fingers wrapped around the hammer's hilt, and I pulled. Energy surged from the hammer in a burst of electromagnetic radiation. I got a brief sensation of confusion before the lighting cracked, and the hammer slammed into the ground, fusing itself on top of a jagged pedestal of fused glass.

"Did you record that?! What are the sensors showing?!" Wagner demanded.

"There is some awareness within the artifact. It didn't like being pulled up with telekinesis," I told them and let the Force go. "A friend of foe system? Personal identification, perhaps?" I wondered aloud. "Use Herbie to destroy its foundation again and try to pick it up with one of the manipulators. Just in case, get Private Alba out and checked by medics."

That got everyone moving, though I kept getting sidelong glances.

Herbie moved in after Alba left. It drilled through the new pedestal, and the hammer hit the ground again. A different manipulator descended and wrapped three mechanical fingers around the hilt, then tried to lift the artifact. The grip rose from the ground; however, the hammerhead remained in place, merely shifting into the sand. Herbie's servos strained as it tried to pull it towards the door and failed.

"We're going to be here for some time. Start brainstorming and testing ways to move that hammer without directly lifting it. Perhaps digging up the soil it's planted on and moving it that way without directly touching it?" I suggested. "Go work, people!" With those parting words, I left the tent, then typed a brief report to Danvers and sent it to the General.

=SI=

Later that day, a few people in protective gear were digging in below the hammer and had a stretcher ready to shove below it to try and carry it that way. Due to the constraints of the isolation chamber and how awkward it was working in those suits, it was slow going.

At the same time, we got more data about what happened last night, including some curious pictures of the weather phenomena. The light show and what appeared to be a lighting-covered tornado descending through the sky southwest of our location were telling. At this point, the few clear pictures we had access to showed something different from natural weather shenanigans, even though I've seen nastier storms. However, they tended to happen due to unusual circumstances. They wouldn't usually be found on places like Earth without orbital strikes or volcanic eruptions to throw tons of energy into the atmosphere.

"Mr. Stark, we've got a person stumbling through the desert towards us. His vector of approach puts him on a straight line between our location and that of the other reported major disturbance last night. If it weren't for that, we would chalk him as a lost hiker or something in that vein and called local SAR," Captain Elis reported.

"Do we have a drone on him?"

"One of the Predators on the station is tracking him, Mr. Stark," Elis handed me a military-issue tablet, which meant it was rugged and put into a protective casing, making it appear larger than it was.

There was a rather tall man with a mane of wide blond hair waving in the air, walking through what looked like a plain covered with shrubs. Distance and location put him about thirty kilometers away from us.

"Does anyone want to bet our lost stranger is coming for the hammer?" I asked aloud.

"Considering the ongoing shenanigans, no," Elis' answer was deadly serious.

"Spin up my Blackhawk and get armed drones on station. We're going to have a little chat with our lost friend before he can get within ten kilometers of the hammer. We'll be tentatively using first contact protocols."

"Are you sure about this, sir?" Elis pushed.

"That's the primary reason I'm out here. If it was just the artifact, it's a curiosity I could have waited for to get into a proper laboratory. On the other hand, the long shot of contacting whoever is behind this stunt? That's another question. Get me a heavy security detail and go on a high alert in case our friend has buddies who aren't as obvious as he is."

=SI=

A short while later, I was descending in the middle of the desert, just beyond the horizon from Site Alpha. Two more Blackhawks landed beside my ride, disgorging heavy infantry wearing passive exoskeletons and an electric mix of machine guns, grenade launchers, and the odd blaster prototype. They spread in a semi-circle behind me while two of the choppers lifted and covered the figure in front of us with their side-mounted mini-guns.

"Hi there, stranger!" I stepped before my decidedly uneasy-feeling security detail and waved at the man. He was over two meters tall and built like a brick wall.

All I could get from him was a mixture of anger, confusion, and aching need. I would have to be more careful how I approached this conversation than usual.

"Well met?" He responded in a way that made it look like he wasn't sure if that was the case. He looked at the soldiers behind me, obviously evaluating them. His eyes glanced between their weapons and the exoskeletons. "We are on Midgard, aye? Your battle dress is very different since the last time I was here."

"Oh, you've visited before?" This was all but an admission he was from somewhere other than our neighborhood. And Midgard? Was that Norse? Yes, it was. Scandinavian mythology. Aesir and the like.

"It's been a few centuries, aye," He answered in clear English, though some of the words and phrasing used were outdated. "I seek no trouble. I need to find something I've misplaced and will be on my way," He gave us a challenging look. "Yet, after the day I had, I won't say no to a scrap, so be warned, mortals!"

"And here we had such a good conversation going until the very end. You sounded like a megalomaniac or even a would-be conqueror at the end," I pointed out.

A pair of blue eyes focused on me in brief confusion. I could sense no increase in hostility: just anger, frustration, and a bit of anticipation to vent it.

"Midgard is under Asgard's protection! Why would I be invading this realm?" He asked in what sounded like honest confusion.

More references to Scandinavian mythology. It wasn't something I have been particularly interested in as Tony Stark, and I could barely recall anything useful from my life before that. Yet, what he was talking about was making my mind itch, as if something was just out of reach. Besides, I was sure that General Danvers and all her dead colleagues would want to ask where was Asgard's supposed protection when aliens leveled that base back in the day.

There was only one world-famous hammer from the Scandinavian myths I could recall. We might just be about to see the truth behind many legends.

"Let's get on with introductions. I'm Tony Stark, an industrialist, scientist, and, more importantly for our situation, an Oversight Council Member and consultant for SWORD. That's an Earth organization meant to deal with threats out of this world. You wouldn't happen to be one such threat, would you?"

The stranger looked at me, then at the soldiers behind me.

"I told you, Lord Stark, I am not here to cause trouble. I'm Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard…" The alien trailed off. "In exile…" He added with a grumble.

"Well met, Prince Thor Odinson. You wouldn't happen to be looking for your hammer of myth, Mjolnir? And if so, dare I ask how you managed to misplace such a potent weapon?"

"Yes!" Thor nodded eagerly. "Bring me to it, and I will see you richly rewarded!"

"I am already the most wealthy person on this planet. Besides, in my position, I can't be seen receiving bribes."

Thor scowled at me.

"Then there are a few practical matters. You're technically trespassing on Earth and here in the United States. If your people sent us a diplomatic envoy to warn us about your arrival, they're late. And finally, we have just your word that you are, in fact, Thor Odinson. If we have Mjolnir in our possession, it would be incredibly irresponsible to just give it to the first person who turned up and asked for it."

"That! You!" Thor briefly spluttered, then set up his jaw into a stubborn expression. "You speak sense, Lord Stark…." Thor's shoulders slumped. "I've been calling Father and Heimdal the whole night, and no one answered, yet they should be able to observe me without a problem. "My exile wasn't planned…." Something ugly flashed over his face. "I don't believe that the AllFather would have thought to warn anyone here on Midgard about my changed status and exile," He looked at the soldiers, then at the helicopters. "Midgard shouldn't have been advanced enough, yet I see that is changing."

All the while, all I could get from him was a mixture of anger, confusion, and aching need.

"Getting you to Mjolnir at this time is out of the question. However, I can offer to get you somewhere you can get a bath, or something warm to eat and drink, so we can continue our conversation in a more civilized manner. Would you like that, Prince Odinson?" I suggested.

"It's Thor," The self-proclaimed alien royalty looked at the soldiers behind me, then at me, and raised an eyebrow.

"Not a military facility. I am sure there are a few small towns around that could use my patronage," I turned my head to the acting commander of my security detail, who raised a hand to his radio and began speaking rapidly with SWORD Command.

Thor's hands became fists as he looked around before his frame relaxed.

"I will play along within reason, Lord Stark," Thor agreed.