Take Nine
Professor Dolores Umbridge got up from her comfortable, fluffy, pink bed and stretched. What a beautiful morning, she mused idly, enjoying the scenic view from her sixth-floor balcony. Time to face the day!
"Today is the day those poor, misguided children shall be enlightened!" she told herself firmly, conveniently forgetting that she had already repeated that sentiment to herself 1,956 times before.
After that most inspirational pep talk, Umbridge opened her door and resolutely strode into the corridors of Hogwarts castle.
"Good morning, Professor Umbridge," a girl called out, waving.
"Good morning Miss Greengrass," Umbridge sang out jovially, mood soaring. Not ten minutes out of her personal quarters, and a student whom she normally ignored wished her a good morning! That must be a lucky omen.
Oh, if only she knew…
Strolling past Daphne into the Great Hall, Umbrdige missed the vindicative smirk that flitted across the girl's shadowed face.
~*~*~*~*~*
One can say Harry Potter had a very bad experience with voices no one else could hear. Hence, when he heard voices hissing in the particular timbre that still brought back nightmares, his first act was to stop and stare.
"What's wrong, mate?" asked Ron obliviously through a mouthful of food, gesturing at Harry's untouched plate.
"Remember Second Year?" Harry asked tersely.
Hermione straightened, fork clattering to her plate as she whipped out her pocket mirror – the one she never went without after that fateful year. "Which direction, Harry?"
"I hope the mandrakes are grown," mumbled Ron worriedly, shoving down another forkful as though preparing himself for inevitable petrification – during which he could not eat. To a teenage boy, oh, the horror of that happening.
Harry pointed silently in the direction the voices had come from, eyes closed and wand in hand.
Only then did he realise what the snakes were hissing.
"I… feel… pretty…"
Harry paused, and mentally rewound what he had just heard. "What?" he asked out loud.
"Huh?" replied Ron, clueless.
"Hem, hem," announced a too-familiar voice, right beside his ear.
Harry was so surprised that he opened his eyes and stared into the horrifying apparition before him. Umbridge, bristling in indignation, was glaring around the Great Hall, seemingly oblivious to the students dropping like flies at the sight of her.
And such was that Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, saviour of the Wizarding World, fell off the bench he was previously sitting on, stiff as a board.
His last thought was, 'What did she do to her hair this time?'
~*~*~*~*~*
"The Heiress of Slytherin approaches!"
"The Chamber of Secrets is open again!"
"I heard she was from Slytherin, that's why she's favouring them!"
"Is she a Parseltongue?"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The last one seemed to be the most oft-repeated line. Umbridge scowled, striding down the corridors irritably. Students ran at the sight of her, peering back at her from little hand-held mirrors with horrorstruck expressions. Those who did not run fast enough, or the unlucky few whom she caught and demanded an explanation from – they, they keeled over and laid frozen on the floor.
And for the life of her, she could not figure out why.
Was it something on her clothes? She glanced down, smoothing down her cardigan over neatly-pressed robes. There was nothing visible to her.
Then… her face? She raised a hand to touch her face nervously – and her fingers came into contact with something cold and scaly.
Attempting not to panic, Umbridge made her way to the nearest bathroom.
Her – her lovely hair, ringlets that she spent a thousand galleons perming, they swarmed with snakes.
A piercing shriek rang through Hogwarts, shattering every single glassware within the castle. Needless to say, Professor Snape was not pleased.
~*~*~*~*~*
Daphne twirled her wand, carefully setting the piece of parchment with all her notes on it on fire. That should keep that pompous git Malfoy quiet for a while. Acting so sycophantic towards a toad of that calibre… it was downright disgusting for a member of the proud House of Snakes.
Had anyone looked closer at the frozen students, he would have noticed that despite them being Petrified, their eyes were still darting about nervously.
Author's Note: I don't own "I Feel Pretty" either. Request by TrueImortality for a prank by a Slytherin. Request by Princess Schatje Dreamer for "Medusa!Umbridge". Yume-chan, I hope this met your expectations (: