Author's Notes: So this is a liiittle earlier than I normally post (just a day or so!) but I had the time and I thought, hey, why not? Cause I know how frustrating it can get while waiting for a story to update. We're winding down toward the end, just so you all know. ;) I'm not going to say how many chapters are left, though, because where's the fun in that? Also, I wanted to take the time to make some comments to some of my reviewers:

Dianne: I'm not sure if you're this far ahead in the story or not (since you reviewed more toward the beginning), but I agree! I'm one of those people who really like explanations for things, and the fact that thus far, Dean's not really had much exposure to how he was brought back (or rather I guess why, at least fully) kind of irked me at first. I started this story just a month or so after the end of season 3, so my brain was working it all out. Sam losing Dean is VERY big...and I wanted to go more into how he was dealing with it!

Blueeyesbetter: I thought so, too! I think Dean would give up just about anything for Sam. And like Zane said, you wanna see him happy, and in my opinion, a happy Sam makes for a happy Dean. :)

Ladie red: Oh, I agree totally! I love Sarah. Bringing her back actually wasn't something I planned on doing at first...but I worked it in because for some reason, it hit me right upside the head as a good idea. And I think it worked out pretty well!

All right everyone, that's enough of my rambling. On with the story! Reviews are always super appreciated. :)

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Sam stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans once he stepped out the door to their hotel room and shut it behind him. Dean had once again sent him on an errand. This time, however, instead of getting food, he was getting aspirin.

"Lots of aspirin," Dean had told him.

Things went over better than he thought they would. His white lie about having been there that night had clearly been dismissed when the idea of Sam being intimate with someone entered the picture. As he walked down the cool hallway toward the staircase, he recalled the first time he had run into Sarah, and Dean's reaction then. He remembered how Dean had been concerned that he hadn't been having fun…that he had been so serious and depressed that it was just bad for his mental health.

Last night had been anything but bad, really. He and Sarah didn't have sex, but if Dean wanted to think that, then more power to him. He would have just made fun of Sam over the fact that they spent majority of the night talking, anyway. It wasn't as if Sam had been opposed to the idea of being intimate with Sarah. No, rather, he felt it wasn't right for that time. They were both in such a good mood after having dinner that he didn't want to ruin it by pressuring sex on the both of them.

And everything had worked out miraculously well. He had left sometime that morning and gone back to the hotel, got some coffee and headed into the room, ready to pretend nothing had happened. He should have known better than to try and hide it from Dean. He didn't even really know why he tried, as it was. It was just habit. The last girl he had been with was Madison, and…well. That hadn't ended up very good at all. Sam's heart sank just thinking about it. Dean hadn't been terribly pleased with that whole situation.

He made his way down the stairs and into the lobby of the hotel, and was about to go outside when he felt a pair of eyes on him. At first he glanced around casually. But when that proved ineffective, he downright turned his head a few times. Who he saw caught his attention right away.

"Ruby."

"The one and only."

She looked…surprisingly summery. Her hair was back over her shoulders, and she wore a simple red t-shirt with a pair of khaki colored capri pants. Sam didn't know what to think of it. He chuckled, for lack of anything of importance to say.

"Good to see you can find some humor in my outfit, Sam. Demons can get warm, too." She sounded miffed.

"Sorry, I just…never thought you the type to wear such…I dunno." Sam reached up and scratched at his hair. "What're you doing here?"

"Let's go somewhere private to talk," Ruby said. She glanced around them. "There's an alley just to the side of the hotel, here. Come on." Without waiting for confirmation, Ruby turned around and headed out through the revolving glass door. Sam followed her to the alleyway, at which point she stood with her hands poised on her hips. "Where were you off to? Somewhere important, I hope?"

"I was gonna get Dean some aspirin," Sam explained. "He's got one hell of a hangover, and he needs it so he can function today."

"Glad to know he's using his second chance at life to get drunk off his ass."

"Hey, Dean deserved it." Sam spoke with a slightly defensive tone. He didn't elaborate.

"Yeah, well, I thought you two would be keeping up with things. Not…social calls." Ruby shook her head. "I was gonna talk to you last night, but you were at that girl's house, and…"

Sam smirked. "Is that jealousy in your voice, Ruby? I didn't think—"

"It's not jealousy, Sam. It's called distaste. The apocalypse is coming, and what are you doing? Flirting with some bimbo on her couch."

"Ouch. The green-eyed monster rears its ugly head."

The corners of Ruby's mouth and eyes twitched slightly, and creases appeared in her forehead. "Listen, Sam. Big shit is going down. Lilith's trying to bring Hell to Earth."

"I know," Sam said. "Dean and I were wondering why no demons were coming after us, and so we summoned one and tortured him until he told us everything." He blinked. "Hey, by the way, where've you been? It's been like, two or three weeks since I've seen you."

"I've been trying to get my knife back," she replied matter-of-factly. "And you what? You tortured a demon just to get information?" But she sounded strangely more pleased than offended by this statement. She folded her arms over her chest. "So. What all did they tell you?"

"He told me that Lilith's building an army of demons, and that's why none of them are coming after us. But I don't see how she can bring the apocalypse to the Earth with them and without like, the four horsemen. You know? Pestilence, war, famine, death…those guys." He snorted lightly.

"They do exist," Ruby said, as if she had read Sam's skeptical mind. "Oh, believe me, Sam. They exist. And if Lilith is as insistent as she seems to be making herself out to be, she's going to be breaking the great seals left and right to bring them to Earth again."

"Wait. Please don't tell me this is going to get biblical."

A disbelieving look appeared on Ruby's face. "Come on, Sam. Her name is Lilith. She's waging a war on humankind. She's a follower of Lucifer. How could you not think it was going to get biblical at some point?"

Sam rubbed his temples. This was too much to take in at once. He had just been going out to get aspirin, and now he was hearing that his opponent was really trying to bring the apocalypse to Earth. But what got to him the worst was the fact that Yellow-Eyes had originally planned this for him—had originally planned on Sam being the antichrist, the one to lead the demon army on humankind. It made him sick, and he didn't refrain from showing it.

"Didn't you say that demons were gonna be chasing my ass all around the place after I saved Dean?" Sam asked suddenly. "I kinda wish that that was the case instead of this."

"Well, I was wrong." She sighed. Then Ruby insisted with confidence, "You can stop her. You know you can. Lilith can't bring the apocalypse if she doesn't free all four of the horsemen. And breaking those seals takes a lot of time and energy. Humankind has dealt with other demons who have tried and failed. Who do you think caused the world wars?"

It was funny. As Ruby spoke to him, Sam could hear her, but it was as if her words went in one ear and right out the other. Things had just been taken to a completely new level—a level that, for the first time in a long time, evoked a sense of true fear within him. If he didn't stop Lilith in time, then there would be no way to prevent Hell on Earth. There would be no way to save humankind. They would all be doomed.

"Sam? Sam! Are you even listening to me any more?"

"Huh?" Sam gave a brief shake of his head and glanced down at Ruby. She looked pissed.

"I was telling you that there are seven seals Lilith needs to break in order to bring the apocalypse on Earth. And while you and Dean play around, she's got plenty of time to learn about them and prepare herself in doing it. You had both better prepare yourselves. The demon lied to you, Sam. She's not building an army. She's gonna let the horsemen do the dirty work for her. What her demons are doing is scouting the globe to try and find the location of the seals. And if she senses that you're on her trail, she's probably gonna send the extra ones after you and your brother."

"Come with us, then, Ruby," Sam said. "You don't want this, either. You said it yourself. You can help us. Guide us."

"I work alone, Sam." Ruby's words were surprisingly cold. They made Sam blink. "I'll keep in touch. But if I don't get my knife back, Lilith's damn near unstoppable." She turned to leave.

Something inside of Sam's head immediately disagreed with that, and he groaned. Maybe Ruby would be able to shed some light on the situation. "Ruby, wait, before you go." He reached out and touched her forearm, and she turned around to face him again. "There's this…voice…inside my head. And it's cocky, and so…full of itself. It makes me feel like I can do anything. Like I've got this infinite amount of energy and possibility. But then sometimes it's cynical and depressing. It's really frustrating me. Do you know what it is?"

"At first I was gonna say your conscience." Ruby smirked. "But that's probably just the influence of the demonic blood in you. I'd have thought you'd be used to it by now, Sam. Either that, or I thought it would have taken over by now. Why do you think most demons act the way they do? Wait." She snapped her fingers. "How does that quote go? 'Absolute power corrupts absolutely'? Yeah, that's it. And you can't get much more powerful than demons. Well, you can, but…you know what I mean."

Somehow, that wasn't the answer Sam was looking for. He stared at Ruby, disgruntled, and wondering if she wasn't just screwing with him. But it was hard to tell. Even after having known her for nearly a year, Sam still could barely make sense of her. Ruby was a serious enigma.

"Thanks," he settled on saying. It didn't feel like the right thing to say, but he went with it.

"I'll be around, Sam. Next time, warn me if you're gonna stay at some chick's house."

Sam watched Ruby sway off onto the somewhat crowded sidewalk not too far away. He stood there for a few moments and waited until she was out of sight before he smacked his hands to his face and gave a long, frustrated groan.

"Things just couldn't stay simple, could they?" he said to no one in particular.

. . .

"Wait, so let me get this straight."

Dean rubbed his eyebrows so hard that little white flakes of dried skin collected in them. It was clear that he didn't get it, although whether that was because of how complicated it was or his hangover, Sam didn't know.

"Lilith is trying to break these…what, seven seals, so she can free the four horsemen of the apocalypse and bring Hell to Earth."

"Yeah," Sam said.

"And in order to do it, she needs a lot of strength and time."

"Yeah."

"And she's had…how long since I died? May? That's what…two months?"

"Yeah."

Man, Sam thought. I sound repetitive.

Dean nursed his coffee, and then let out a heavy sigh. "And you say Ruby told you all of this in the alleyway just down there."

"…Yup."

"Why does she never come when I'm around?" Dean mused aloud.

"I dunno, Dean. I'm just telling you what she told me. She sounded worried about it, so I have to believe her. Ruby hasn't lied to me yet."

"But the demon said Lilith was building an army."

"Of course he did. He probably wanted to throw us off the trail so we went after other demons instead of Lilith. Remember what he said? 'If you were smart, you'd do the same'?" Sam leaned back on his bed, propping his upper body up with his elbows and forearms against the bed. He looked at Dean. "He was trying to send us on a wild goose chase just so we would waste our time trying to senselessly collect other demons instead of going after the one that mattered most."

For a moment, Dean was silent. The creases in his forehead were so pronounced that Sam thought he could pour water in them and create little ravines.

Then, the older one said, "God, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse. This is fucking great."

Sam sighed. He had wanted confirmation that the apocalypse was coming, and, well, now he had it. Suddenly staying here and spending another evening with Sarah didn't seem like such a good idea. It hadn't lost its appeal, however. Part of the younger hunter felt guilty for wanting to spend time with her when he obviously should have been out chasing Lilith down. But what could they do until they had some better sense of where she was?

Then it hit him. And it hit Dean just the same.

"Bobby," they said in unison.

"He helped us find her before," Sam stated. "With that device, remember?"

"And the Latin phrases, or Greek, or whatever. Yeah, I remember. Barely. That…was right before I bit the dust. Everything's kind of rushed and fuzzy from that time."

"Still. If Bobby can help us find her, or at least keep tabs on her while we try and prepare ourselves…that's a lot better than nothing."

Dean hesitated. "So, we're heading back to Bobby's place?"

It took Sam a moment to realize why he, too, had done so. His heart jerked. He had just found Sarah again, and he wanted to talk to her…wanted to see her. But there was no way he could stay here and try and keep contact with Bobby at the same time. Well, there was through the phone, but it just didn't seem right to do that, just so he could stay here in New York to be with a girl.

But the look in Dean's eyes seemed to suggest otherwise. "Sammy, it's okay. We can stay here and talk to Bobby over the phone and get the info. It's not like he needs our help doing it."

Dean was giving him an out. And for the first time in quite possibly ever, Sam was thankful that his brother was meddling in his affairs. "Yeah," he said, unable to keep from smiling just a little. "Why don't we do that?"

The older Winchester took a long drink of his black coffee. Then he smacked his lips together a few times, and grinned. "All right, then that's the plan. I'll call Bobby, let him know what we know, and see what he knows. We've got the Colt. That should do the trick just fine. We don't need Ruby's knife. And…who knows?" Dean shrugged. "Maybe we'll have this bitch killed by

the end of the month, and then it's bye-bye apocalypse and hello, vacation at the beach."

Where the idea of going to the beach for vacation had come from, Sam didn't really know. But he wasn't going to question his brother's motives. If the idea of going to the beach was motivation enough, then it worked for him. As it stood now, Sam had a heavy weight on his shoulders that he was going to have to partially dump on Sarah. He knew now that yes, he wanted to be with her. And it felt good to say that. But he couldn't be with her and not let her know what was going on. Likewise, he was sure she wouldn't appreciate being kept in the dark. She was a tough, smart woman who could hold her own. And Sam admired that.

He just hoped that she could deal with the pressure of knowing about an impending apocalypse and not being able to tell anyone. Dealing with it herself seemed like something she could do just fine, save for some difficulty. Sam was having more than enough. He knew that it wasn't going to be entirely far fetched of an idea.

Without his realizing it, Dean had already dialed up Bobby's number and was calling him. That left Sam to call Sarah. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and stood, heading outside to the small balcony adjacent to their room. He dialed up Sarah's number.

A smile appeared on his face when he heard her voice.

. . .

Sam hadn't lied entirely to Sarah. Part of the reason why he asked to meet with her for dinner again that night was because he wanted to. But, for the most part, he needed to update her on what was going on. If they were going to be together, it was as he thought: he would need to inform her of the situation, and see what she decided. Ultimately it was her choice.

Sam wished that the Super 8 hotel they were staying in had a restaurant. But since it didn't, he and Sarah decided they would eat at the diner where they had run into each other. With Dean out of commission for the night, Sam took the impala the short drive down Main Street and parked in the lot, heading inside.

It being Monday night, the diner was scarce on customers. However, music played throughout the place and a television spouting the news rested just above the counter. Both would provide a good enough sound distraction to keep people from listening in on them. Plus, when asked if he had a preference for a spot to sit, Sam requested he be placed in the corner, far away from the bathrooms. Here, he and Sarah could talk in peace.

She arrived just a few minutes after he did. He stood up and greeted her with a warm hug.

Sarah had caught the seriousness in Sam's voice when he called, and so she was more than aware that what they had to discuss—although he couldn't explain it over the phone—was grave. Still, she was smiling and warm, and that was good.

Sam didn't realize he needed that.

"So, I'm gonna guess you've gotta go…save the world again," Sarah teased lightly.

Their waitress interrupted their budding conversation by taking giving them menus and taking their drink orders. Sam didn't open his menu, even after she had left.

"Something like that," he said with a laugh.

"What's up?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Listen, Sarah, I…" He bit his lip momentarily. "I'm…just gonna come right out and say this. I…don't think I ever stopped liking you. It was probably sheer luck that we even ran into each other again, but I'm definitely not gonna complain about it."

"Uh-huh." Sarah eyed Sam carefully.

"And I know you just got out of that relationship and all, but I really want to be with you."

"I'm sensing a but."

Sam winced slightly. "But…there's something going on. And you deserve to know about it before I ask you if you want to take things to the next level."

Even though Sarah seemed somewhat skeptical, she nonetheless also appeared concerned. She laid her hand on top of one of Sam's, which was resting on the thick, solid plastic tabletop. He ignored the jolt that sent through his body and proceeded to tell her all that Ruby had told him. It took some time, and he had to stop in between every now and then because of random passersby and their waitress taking their order. (Wasn't this place supposed to be more private?) By the end of it his heart was beating quickly and his palms were a little sweaty. He had never felt quite so nervous before, and although he didn't like it, he knew he couldn't blame himself for getting worked up.

This was the fate of the world sitting on his and Dean's shoulders, after all.

He didn't know how to gauge Sarah's response at first. She remained silent, and Sam felt compelled to continue speaking. "The only reason I could see against getting involved with you is the possibility that…well, I might not make it back."

Yes you will, that something in his head told him. Sam ignored it.

Sarah nodded faintly. "So you don't think you can do it?"

Sam chose his words with care. "I don't…want to get cocky."

"I can understand that. This is a big deal, Sam. I mean…seriously." Sarah gave a quiet snort. But she didn't remove her hand from his.

"I would be going all over the place, chasing Lilith," he explained further. "With any luck, Dean and I will be able to get her before things get too serious. But…I wouldn't be able to sit around and stay here."

"I didn't figure you could, anyways," Sarah said simply. She smiled, and Sam felt a twinge of guilt.

This really was what he wanted so badly. He wanted a normal life, with a normal girlfriend, and a home, not hotel room after hotel room. He wanted to be Sam Winchester, not Wedge Antilles, or Phil Jones, or Frank Beard. And when he looked at Sarah, he could see that. He could see himself living with her under a roof in some apartment, with a job—maybe even a degree in law like he had hoped for—and happy. He hadn't felt that way about any woman since he had been with Jessica. But, then came along Dean, and ever since then, things had been one mess after another.

"I don't want to ask you to commit to me, only to maybe die and leave you alone to deal with that," Sam said.

"I'm a grown woman, Sam," Sarah said. She chuckled. "I appreciate you looking out for my feelings, but I can make my own decisions. And I dunno about you, but after half the stuff you've told me, I don't see how you can't do this. You've saved dozens of innocent people, and helped to destroy vengeful spirits that bring harm on others. You've slain beasts. You're a regular He-Man."

Sam felt another pang of guilt. He still hadn't told Sarah about how Dean had resurrected him, and how the reverse had happened, too. That would have probably changed her tune.

"Yeah," was all he could say.

"Tell you what." Sarah finally pulled her hand from Sam's, but in doing so, she leaned in and brought it up to his face. She pinched his cheek and then patted her palm against it. It made him smirk faintly. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon. If you're seriously concerned that you'll die, then fine. We can just…keep things the way they are, now. But you should know that I never stopped liking you, either, and was hoping I'd get a chance to see you again. I'm going to be depressed if you die whether we're together or not." She, too, smirked, and took on a playful tone. "Anyway, I'd like to think that you'd fight harder if you knew you had someone to come home to."

What she said then hit Sam in a multitude of ways. Hope sprung within him, because yes, he would fight harder if he had someone to come back to. But just the same, fear tainted that hope, because everyone he had ever cared for had left him in some way, most through death: his mother, his father, Jessica, and even Dean. He couldn't handle that happening again. He didn't think he could open himself up to the possibility that Sarah might die, too, just because of him. Not only that, but how could he stop hunting? How could he just go back and pretend like nothing evil was going on in the world? Even if he wanted to so much it hurt sometimes?

Suddenly he felt a lot more anxious than he had before. How this was going to work out, he didn't know. But he was sure as hell gonna try to make it happen. That good old Winchester resolved coursed through his veins.

Hardened as he was, Sam kept the sudden tears he felt welling up in the corners of his eyes from falling. And he cleared his throat to remove the blockage that had built up there. He reached up and covered Sarah's hand with his. Her skin was so soft, so warm. It felt nice.

The two stared at each other in silence for a while, but the moment was broken when the waitress appeared with their food. Neither Sam nor Sarah realized she was even coming, and it wasn't until she started talking that they broke apart. The waitress gave them a once over with her dark eyes, as if uncertain about whether or not she should say something more. She just placed their food in front of them with very few words, taking her leave afterward.

Sam looked at Sarah again.

"I know you're scared," she said. "And you've got every right to be. But you've got your brother, and you've got me." An amused look slowly appeared on her face. "Whether you like it or not."

"I like it," Sam teased. He gripped his fork and began to poke at his breakfast-dinner. He thought that maybe he shouldn't have ordered the pancakes. "I'm probably gonna have to leave soon," he announced.

"That's fine. But you're coming home with me tonight."

Sam knew better than to argue.

…Not that he even wanted to.