Lily Dwyer

How did this happen?

The question had returned to haunt me many times in the past few months, but I was still left without an answer. There was no answer to this question, as far as I was concerned. At least, no good answer. A logical person would explain that sometimes people fall ill with cancer, and when too much of the victim's body has been affected and treatment isn't working, there is no way to save her. This leaves them to either lose the battle to cancer, or die by some other means. Someone more emotional might tell me that, sometimes, things like this just happen. Everyone has to die eventually, there's no way to prevent it, and sometimes horribly unfortunate things like this happen. But how would I answer the question? For the moment, I'd say that life simply isn't fair.

The plane was about to touch down, making my arrival in Washington as official as can be. Ever since the plane had taken off, I'd been running out of time to prepare myself for this. Since August, I had been between houses, although not for the reasons most teenagers are. I had first moved in with my grandmother, which might have worked, had she not been so old and tired. Then I had moved in with my aunt, where neither of us was comfortable. Eventually my aunt became pregnant and, feeling that I'd be nothing more than a nuisance, sent me to live with my second cousin. But that hadn't worked out either. Finally, the social workers had come up with a different solution. Sending me to hell on earth.

Only sixteen years have passed since I was born. Sixteen years since I first met my mother properly. Sixteen years since she realized how much she really loved me. Sixteen years since she learned how much she would always love me. Sixteen years ago, Renee Dwyer had stopped thinking about the life with one daughter that she had lost, and sixteen years since she started focusing on her life with her new daughter. Sixteen years since everything had started for me, and four months since it all ended.

I had promised myself I would wait to cry. I had no doubt that sitting in my new bed in an unfamiliar home would bring on the feelings anyway, and I might as well let it all out then. But before we touched down, the tears managed to overpower me. So much had happened in July, and things had really started to change in August. In September, things had brightened up, and had seemed like they might even be all right. In October, my hopes were dashed. And now, in the beginnings of November, it truly felt as if I had lost everything.

I lost Renee. Illness had taken her away from me. Much like Bella, her oldest daughter, I took care of her most of the time. It hurt very much to lose someone that was so close to you. It didn't feel like losing a mother. A mother is supposed to be the one to take care of you, to shield you from the world. But it had always been my job to protect her, to talk her out of her craziest ideas, and make sure that she survived those I couldn't turn her against. It didn't feel like I was losing a mother. It felt like losing a child, like losing my own daughter.

I lost Phil, too. He should have been there to take care of me when Renee died. He should have acted like a real parent, shielded me from pain and help me get through my grief. Instead, he decided not to take care of me, to abandon me. Phil said that I looked too much like Renee, that he was too reminded of her every time he looked at me. The court might have forced him to take of me, had he not suffered a nervous breakdown a week after dropping me off at my grandmother's house. I might be living with him now, had he not been confined to a hospital and then an institution.

And then I lost my grandmother. Her house was somewhere I could have easily gotten used to; somewhere I could have lived a happy life. It was in Phoenix and very near my parents' house, meaning my life could have remained almost the same. My grandmother loved me, and could have taken care of me. But when the court heard of my living arrangements, they deemed my grandmother, at such an age, unable to care for a teenager. Instead last-minute arrangements were made to stay with my aunt, and then my second cousin, and finally here.

I had even lost Steve, my boyfriend. We dated for two years, and now I might never see him again. Steve lived in Phoenix, where I would no longer be. Sure, I may go in a few years to visit my father and see how his health was doing, or to check on my grandmother, but it would be unlikely that I would ever see him again. We broke up the night before I had to leave, because we both knew it would be too hard not to.

Self-pity helps no one, but I couldn't help but feel it. My life, up until this point, was nothing short of tragic. Dead mother, father who doesn't want to take care of me. Juggled between relatives until I finally get sent to the city I most despise. Fall in love with a mysterious stranger and miraculously forget about my mother's death, and my life would officially reach movie status.

Once I regained my self-control, passing through customs came quickly and easily. No one suspected a more or less orphaned girl to be a terrorist. My luggage was difficult to carry, since I had to pack most of my life into it, but I managed. Security was relatively tight, so I didn't see my new family until I actually left the airport. From there, it wasn't difficult to spot them. After all, it was a tiny airport.

I'd never before met Kyra and David Williams, but I'd seen many pictures of them in an attempt to prepare myself for this. Kyra was Charlie Swan's sister, which meant I wasn't at all related to either of them. Moving to Forks was my only option, since no member of my own family wanted to offer me a new home. After a while, Charlie had been contacted and asked if he could take care of me. He declined, but offered up his sister, who agreed almost immediately.

Seeing them now, I could tell the pictures had been flattering, although they did not appear to be. Kyra had dull blonde hair, completely colourless in the cloudy skies of Forks. Her eyes were a dull shade of green, but I could imagine what they would have looked like in the bright sun of Phoenix. Kyra looked dull here, nothing special standing out about her. But in Phoenix, I knew she would be beautiful. Her pale skin would tan and her eyes would brighten, while her hair would reflect the constant sunlight. If Kyra lived there, she would have looked nice. But she didn't.

David's appearance was unlike his wife's in many ways. The light, almost translucent appearance of his wife's hair lacked in his own, which was black with several greying areas, comparing like night and day. His eyes were brown and even duller, and sunlight could do nothing for him. His skin was just as pale as Kyra's, but it looked like it would never changed, even if exposed to the Arizona sun. His face was frozen in a grim expression, leaving little to the imagination of what the man thought of his wife deciding to adopt her brother's ex-wife's daughter.

"Lily!"

Kyra spotted me immediately, and David was able to follow her gaze until he had spotted me, too. No doubt they had seen pictures of me, as I had seen of them, but even without that it would have been easy to spot me. My plane had only been making a stopover in Port Angeles, and few passengers had actually left the plane once we landed here. I was among five of a hundred and fifty passengers from the plane that were actually heading anywhere in Washington. It was a wonder I hadn't been spotted any sooner.

Kyra pulled me into a tight hug, acting as if she had known me my entire life. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry that Renee died. I knew her when she lived in Forks, you know, with that other daughter of hers. Pleasant enough, and I might have been good friends with her, if she hadn't left… I don't understand why. I never got to meet Isabella past being a baby, but… Oh, I'm just so sorry!"

I winced when Kyra spoke Bella's name. The fact that she still called her Isabella was a sure sign that she and Charlie weren't very close, which couldn't have been very good for me. Renee always told me how happy Bella had become, living with Charlie, growing accustomed to the new town. I had been hoping, somewhere in the back of my mind, that the same would happen to me with his sister. In that moment, my hopes of this ever happening were dashed.

"Thanks," was all I could say to her. My voice was quiet, sad. The tears would still have been streaming down my face if I hadn't stopped in the bathroom at the airport, and even then, I couldn't have looked too amazing. I'd done my best, splashing water on my face and trying very hard to smile when I first spotted my new guardians, but it was difficult. Things just weren't the same anymore.

Kyra led to me the car. It was small and red, obviously nothing expensive. David, who had yet to speak a word to me, took the luggage I had been dragging along and stuffed it into the trunk. Kyra led me to the back seat, opening the door for me and closing it carefully behind me. She was acting as if the slightest fast movement might set me off. I was relieved when she climbed into the front seat beside her husband and could no longer see my face.

"You'll love it in Forks," Kyra promised.

Little did she know, the promise wouldn't be as hard to keep as we both expected