"Nikki" yelled ET, sprinting down the pier "Nik, Buff!"
He reached the group standing near the Hammersley breathlessly, heaving in air before looking up at the worried, familiar faces of the crew.
"I just got a call, from the hospital" he coughed, waving the piece of paper holding the message in his hand "The captains been in an accident"
Kate laid still, cheek pressed roughly against the pillow on her lounge, watching the television sparkle with colour before her as an afternoon movie played itself out on one of the stations.
She breathed in deeply, feeling her body relax a little as exhaustion set in once more. She was slightly afraid of falling asleep, the nightmares of the night before when Emily lay against her chest threatening to make a reoccurrence if she let her eyelids droop and whilst they had mainly contained the idea of Mike finding out her secret, the fact that he now knew, and had known for some time, did little to settle her tingling nerves.
Somewhere in the distance of her apartment she could hear her mobile ringing, the shrill tone vibrating throughout the rooms until it reached her cloudy mind metres away. She made no effort to move, instead waiting for the noise to stop so she could return to the world she had formed years ago inside her own head, created when as a young child she had had to escape, and revisited five years ago when her own child had been lost along with its father.
The only place in Australia she had ever felt truly safe was hidden away where only she could find it, a make believe land where nothing ever went wrong and she was free. For a while she had lived without it, instead content to be safe in his arms, but that feeling of peace had been deserted when she left him and never had she felt that way again.
She let out a sigh as her home phone rang loudly against her ear, a sign that who ever wanted contact her was not giving up until she was found. She reached a hand up above her head slowly, letting her fingers wander across the table until they landed upon the cool plastic receiver that was vibrating with each ring.
"Kate speaking" she answered, surprising herself with such a sleepy voice.
"It's Nikki" came the frantic reply, the voice of the young woman causing Kate to sit up straighter. For a brief second she was terrified that Mike had told the crew what had happened and Nikki, as the only other soul who Kate had told, was ringing to make sure she knew before seeing them all once more.
"The captains been in an accident" breathed out the navigator instead, her voice echoing through Kate's pounding head as the enormity of the words sunk in.
"Is he alive?" she managed to ask, her vice cracking slightly as she gripped tightly to the fabric of the lounge. She silently prayed that he was alright, only letting her body relax slightly as Nikki's conformation came across the line.
"He was hit by a car and has been taken to hospital"
Kate could hear the tears forming in her young friends voice as she desperately tried to fight back her own, the emotion of the last 24 hours overpowering her as she tried to comprehend that the man who had stood raging before her not two hours ago was now fighting for his life.
"I'm coming"
The crew of the Hammersley sat in the small hospital waiting room, each member silently awaiting the news of their captain's condition. Nikki sat with one hand clasped around Josh's, neither willing to let the other go despite the consequence of their new found closeness. Chefo had laid his head in his hands; Jen running a hand up and down his back in comfort whilst Swain and his wife Sally sat curled against each other; Charge and Robert where busy staring at the wall and Buffer paced the white flooring in anxiety, praying silently that the doctor would walk out of the operating theatre with news soon.
Kate had arrived last, curling herself up to the side of the crew after a warm hug from Nikki and smiles from the men. She hadn't spoken save for a few words in greeting, instead her mind had been plagued with worry and guilt, the thought that she had caused this to happen making her stomach churn violently.
"I'm getting coffee, anyone else want some?" asked ET suddenly, surprising the crew as he extracted his hand from Nikki's grasp. A few of the others nodded in agreement and after a glare from Nav, Robert, who was seated nearest to Kate, agreed to help.
Once they were gone Nikki walked slowly to the other side of Kate, sitting down so that the woman turned away from the crew to face her.
"How are you?" asked Nikki, searching out Kate's glistening eyes. The woman sighed loudly in return, choking back the tears she could feel rising in her chest.
"I can't help thinking that it's my fault he's on there" she whispered finally, pulling her jacket tighter around her body.
"He came to my place a few hours ago" she continued "he was so mad and then suddenly he left"
"Kate" whispered Nikki, drawing her in for a hug "You had no way of knowing this was going to happen"
The pair sat in silence for a moment, each thinking over the consequences of the day gone by.
"He knew" breathed out Kate suddenly, heaving in a breath through her now falling tears. Buffer and Swain shared a glance towards Nav, silently asking if everything was okay before resuming their silent vigil as the navigator nodded.
"He knew all along about the baby, before I lost it"
Kate wiped a hand across her face before leaning into her friends embrace. She ignored the thought that the crew were watching and that at any minute now the doctor may have come out with news. All she wanted was to cry and possibly sail back into the past. To yesterday, before Zack and Emily had been found and her life had been torn open with the truth. No, she thought, back five years, before she decided to keep the secret from him for three months, and go to the doctor alone; before she left him that night.
"If I could redo it I'd tell him" she whispered, finally trusting her voice to speak. Nikki nodded in acknowledgment, leaning back to give Kate the space she knew the woman would need.
"If it meant none of this would have happened I'd have told him straight away"
"He's one lucky man" breathed out the doctor, nodding along with Swain who stood apart from the group. Each member of the crew had their eyes trained on the medic as he discussed the captain's condition with the doctor. No one could quite make out the words being said, but the general prognosis looked positive, despite the grave look on everyone's faces.
"The bleedings been stopped and there looks to be no brain damage, so long term he's looking fine" stated the doctor, a man by the name of John Fraser.
"Short term?" asked Swain cautiously, watching the doctor sigh.
"He's broken some ribs and his left leg, which we can't set until the swellings gone down, but in a few months it should be fine. As I said, things could have been a lot worse"
John smiled over at the anxious crew before clapping Swain on the shoulder, informing him that he had to go but could be contacted if anyone had further questions.
"How is he?" asked Buffer, standing as Swain returned to the group.
"He's good, much better than I expected when we arrived" replied Swain, the only one of the crew who had been able to find information during the waiting period.
"He's broken a leg and some ribs, but the bleedings been stopped and the rest is superficial wounds"
"So, nothing time won't heal?" asked ET, reclaiming his grasp on Nikki's hand. Swain nodded in reply, smiling at the crew to assure them that their captain was going to be fine.
"He'll be ordering us around before we know it" he cracked; glad to see the few smiles that erupted amongst the men and woman.
A few hours, and many rounds of Blackjack later, and the crew had settled in for the evening, Jen and Sally opting to head home while the others awaited further news. What they were waiting on no one knew exactly, but each had the inkling that they would not be able to rest until their captain opened his eyes once more.
"Swain?" asked Nikki quietly, calling the medic away from his game for a moment.
She glanced nervously around the group, careful not to let anyone overhear her conversation.
"Hmm?" asked the man in reply.
"Do you think Kate would be able to see Mike?" inquired Nikki with a sigh, watching as Swain's face contorted in confusion before softening. He glanced over at the blonde headed woman, curled half asleep on the plastic chair, before remembering her reaction earlier, and how obviously shaken she was by the past 30 hours.
"Yeah, probably" he nodded "Only for a minute though"
"That's all she needs" smiled Nikki gratefully, thanking Swain as he went to find the doctor.
The room was silent save for a lone beep from the machinery surrounding Mike's small frame lying still in bed.
Kate stifled a gasp as her eyes settled on the peaceful form of her captain, eyes filling with tears as she remembered the last time she had seen him, seething with anger and hurt.
She walked slowly towards the bed, sitting in the plastic chair usually saved for wives and mothers or husbands and fathers.
Not deceitful ex girlfriends she pondered bitterly.
"I'm sorry Mike" she whispered, gently laying a hand on the bed near his own. She didn't dare touch him, not yet, instead she sat silently by his side as the machines continued to beep steadily around them both.
"You should have told me that you knew" she whispered finally, afraid to say the words any louder. "Maybe we could have done it together"
She gently reached a hand up to stroke his hair, shuddering at the sight of the gash across his forehead, a reminder that he wasn't asleep next to her but lying unconscious in hospital.
"Maybe all three of us would have been happy"
Her other hand found its way to her stomach, coldly touching the flat skin that was their. Her chest became tight as the sobs rose once more, falling down her cheeks as she laid her head down on the soft hospital blankets, wishing that she could reach his hand down to cover her own; that he could have done so five years ago and felt their child, not yet visible but alive within her.
"Why didn't I tell you" she sobbed, gripping his cool hand tightly "Why couldn't I do it?"