She was wearing a white dress; I remember that much because I warned her that it would be ruined in the sand.

We'd spent the day out on the water, fishing maybe though we could have been just lazing around. We did that a lot back then, lazed around in each others arms on a quiet beach somewhere. She liked the…secrecy of it all; I just thought it was more romantic than sharing her with half of Darwin.

We'd pulled the boat up on some deserted beach, and she wanted to eat but I'd forgotten to bring the food, so she stormed off to the other side of this tiny strip of sand and just stared at me, huffing.

It was hilarious and I was laughing my head off, which only made things worse. So, she picked up this god almighty stick from the middle of nowhere, and came charging at me with it, running with no shoes on, dress flying in the wind down the sand….and all I could do was laugh.

Somehow she stopped and heaved the thing onto the ground before crash tackling me into the sand and water, completely drenching the both of us.

She really looked gorgeous that day…

Later, we just lay in the sand, I was leaning against her chest and she was running her hands through my hair. She was teasing me because I had almost fallen asleep and I was trying to get her to tell me about England. That's where she was born.

All I got was cold and wet.

Kinda funny considering she'd pried half my life story from me before she'd even stayed the night.

To this day, whenever someone mentions Britain all I think of is cold and wet. And the look on her face as she said it; I could almost imagine the little pigtailed blondy that she must have been, rugged up in a million layers of clothing or skipping in her backyard and rattling on about some thing or another in a little British accent.

Actually I tried to get her to do the accent one day; I can't even remember if it was before or after the day at the beach. She told me to get lost instead, well, to drop it. Then she hit me with the pillow and that was that.

We always seemed to end things like that; in pillow fights, god knows why. We're not exactly the pillow fights kind of people…

Well, other things followed the pillow fights but we don't need to go into that do we…

----

Lucia Bronte smiled knowingly.

"So that was the last time you were truly happy?" she asked, watching the man before her carefully.

He squirmed slightly in his seat before nodding, mouth opening a little as he rethought his answer.

"The last time I felt safe" he nodded, furrowing an eyebrow.

"That's not exactly happy, but it's the time that always comes to mind" he replied finally.

"You didn't feel safe after Kate feel pregnant?" questioned Lucia, treading the invisible line between what Mike would tell her and what was still firmly enclosed in his heart.

He stared at her soundly, leaning over to move his plaster encased leg into a more comfortable position.

"I've felt safe; I feel safe most of the time"

"How about happy?" she asked slowly.

Mike sighed deeply "I was happy last night, watching the footy with Marcus, Zach and Emily" he replied cryptically, aware that he was evading the actual question.

His mind wondered to the three people currently sharing his apartment, partly so they had a roof over their heads while Marcus found a house and partly so that Mike wasn't left alone; a plan concocted by both the doctors and the crew.

"How about the day of the accident?" asked Lucia finally, gesturing to Mike's leg.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"I got hit by a car"

Lucia took a deep breath, wondering briefly if evasion replies where trade marks of all men or only the Navy.

She reminded herself gently that the man before her had recently been through hell, and part of her training included not judging a patient. In truth she could see the man clamp up before her and she only wanted to help him, a task made much harder when he dodged her every step of the way.

"You told me last time that you had just come from Kate's house, where you fought"

"Yes" nodded Mike in agreement.

"What was the fight about?"

A stony silence filled the room. Mike swallowed slowly, eyeing Lucia who sat comfortably in her seat; determine to win this small battle.

"I told her that I knew about the baby"

"I always knew you liked your secrets Kate, but I never, never thought you'd keep them from me, not after everything" he finished with the same quiet, barren voice that sounded terribly like something out of a horror movie.

"That I'd followed her the day she went to the doctor"

"Is she going to tell me?" he wondered briefly, his mind still trying to comprehended the long term meaning of his newly found knowledge, instead it had been concentrating on the fact that he had not been informed of it earlier. It was quite possible that she was seeking confirmation for what the tiny object, now on his lap, had already told her, and he would come home tonight to a home cooked, candle lit dinner during which she would (through tears and laughter) tell him of their impending arrival. Yet he knew this would not be the case.

"And then I left, I was so angry that I couldn't even finish talking to her, let alone hear her explanation"

"She knew about the baby, and didn't say a word to me. No matter how much it may have hurt her to lose us both, she was the one with the choice and she chose not to tell me"
He could hear his heart beat furiously in his chest as his throat turned dry from trying not to yell; tears were blaring at the backs of his eyelids but he beat them back furiously, not daring to let himself fall apart like that in front of the people that were supposed to look to him for leadership.
"Kate may know what its like to lose the people she loves but she'll never know what its like to be betrayed by them"

"Have you given her a chance to explain since?" asked Lucia, noticing a shift in the mans expression.

No longer was his face taught with grief or pain; memories of the past he'd like to have forgotten years ago. Instead his eyes had cleared and she noticed for the first time the brilliant blue that lay there, waiting to be set free.

"You know what the saddest thing is?" asked Mike suddenly, crossing his arms and staring out the psychologists window towards the sea.

"It took two kids for me to finally realise that she was a 23 year old facing a black mark on her career for being involved with me. She didn't not tell me to betray me, or to get back at me for something; she was just terrified of the consequences"

"A few days after I woke up, Zach asked me if she'd said sorry" started Mike, breathing deeply as he sought the words to explain what had been on his mind for the past two weeks.

"I know that she came to see me the night of the accident, Swain told me"

A troubled expression swept his rugged features and he lifted a hand to cover his mouth in thought.

"Somehow, god knows how, I think she did" he whispered, softly into the silence of the still room.

"How can I know that?" he asked, turning his turbulent blues on Lucia.

"I never answered Zach, but he told me that I should forgive her, especially if she loved me"

Lucia took a moment, letting Mike adjust to truths he had uncovered for the both of them.

"Do you still love her?"

Mike stared a while at the rough hands lying in his lap. He didn't dare turn towards Lucia, aware of her entranced gaze, instead he tried to run through every moment he had ever spent with Katline McGregor, searching for the hidden clue in the puzzle; the way out of the maze.

"After I ran from her house I saw a little girl crossing the road. She was four years old, maybe five, with little blonde pigtails and a skipping rope hanging in one hand. She had no idea of what was going on around her, instead she ran straight towards the house on the other side because her father ha just come home. Suddenly a car came out of no where, screeching round the corner and she just froze, right in the middle of the road. I ran towards her and somehow, I don't know how, pushed her out of the way. Instead the car hit me"

"You know what the last thing I can remember is?"

Lucia shook her head ever so softly.

"She looked exactly as I had imagined Kate would"