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About three chapters to go but here, Jack starts the process.
"I think it's time we got this show on the road," Jack said, standing up as tall as he could and putting on a brave face. He looked very alone and I leaned over and hugged him. As I was still sitting it meant we almost on a level and it felt so good to hold him. He relaxed into my hold.
"You can always change your mind," I whispered.
"No, Ianto." He pulled back, my arms still round him, and looked at me eye to eye. His hands cradled my face. "You know me, always ready to take a gamble." He smiled again.
"And it'll come off, like all the others," I replied, lying through my teeth. I had no confidence that this time he'd make it. I let him go and I knew that our private time was over.
"Of course it will. Lucky Jack Harkness, that's me." His grin nearly split his face but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Before you go …" I started then stopped. It was a ridiculous thought.
"What?"
"May I take a photo of you, as you are now? You look so damned cute."
"Of course, I'd kinda like to remember too." He posed, hands on hips and smiling, as I used the mobile to snap him. Then he changed his pose and looked stern with his arms crossed. I snapped him again. We took half a dozen in the end, including a couple of the two of us together, and got more and more silly.
He made for the ladder and was half way up before I had another thought. "Jack," he stopped and looked down at me, "when you age," I pretended a confidence neither of us had, "your clothes won't be big enough. They'll tear."
"Oh, yeah. Like the Incredible Hulk," he laughed. "I know," he said and scampered up the ladder. I followed him, not sure what idea had come to him. In his office he was removing his clothes. "Quick, Ianto. Hold up my coat." I went for the jacket he'd been wearing. "Not that one! My proper coat!" Then I had an inkling of what he was planning. I took the greatcoat and held it up so he was hidden from view. He was down to his underwear by now and peeled this off before shrugging into the coat. He looked like a child in his father's clothes. He did up the first few buttons to conceal his nakedness, the coat falling in billows on the floor around him. "There," he pronounced, spreading his arms wide, his hands disappearing into the over long sleeves, "ready to face the world as an adult again." I smiled down at him. He looked a ridiculous sight, truth be told, but a magnificent one. I took another photo.
We were giggling when I opened the door and watched Jack go out into the work area. He was having to tread carefully in order not to trip up, holding up the coat, and looked like some mincing dancer of a bygone era. The others looked over at us, taken aback at the sound of our amusement. They didn't smile when they saw Jack, just continued to look baffled. I thought then that they really didn't understand him, didn't realise how much he loved to play the fool, to rejoice in the ridiculous. Perhaps they'd never been close enough to him. Or was it that, like me, he hid his innermost feelings from them.
He looked over at them, smiling broadly. "As Ianto just pointed out, I'll need adult sized clothes again. What better than this." I could see that they too had doubts about whether he would need clothes at all.
"You look fantastic," said Toshiko who was sitting with Gwen on the couch. She looked red-eyed but composed again. I noticed she was shredding a tissue with her fingers, a habit she had when she was distressed. But at least she was trying to be positive.
"Absolutely," confirmed Gwen.
There was awkward pause which Jack broke. "Okay then. What's the procedure?" He was all business.
Owen spoke up. "I've set up the tachyon emissions to flood the Medical Bay. Tosh has got a force field ready to go across the entrance here. Once you're inside, we'll activate the field and then the emissions."
"No." Jack was shaking his head. "I want all of you out of here."
"No, Jack," protested Gwen, standing.
"Yes. No arguments, Gwen." Jack was resolute. "I'm not putting any of you at risk. If the force field should fail you'd all be exposed. Which would be a real pain! I am not looking after you lot as kids! Or old folks!" He tried to make light of it but it was a risk, I suppose. One I'd not imagined up until then. "I want you all out of the Hub."
Owen looked at Gwen and then at Toshiko and me. We were going to comply, we didn't have a choice. Jack was stubborn enough to refuse to undergo the procedure if we didn't. "Okay, if that's the way you want it," said Owen.
Toshiko was at her desk. "I've put the activation signals on this mobile unit." She walked over to Jack and handed him a small device with a couple of buttons. "Press the left hand button for the force field and the right to initiate the tachyon energy." She smiled briefly and he patted her hand.
"Thanks." He paused. "Well, no time like the present," he smiled. "Off you go. And take your coats, it's cold out there."
We started to get ready. Owen helped Gwen into her coat and handed Toshiko hers before getting into his own. I squeezed Jack's shoulder as I passed and then took my own coat from the rack. Toshiko picked up her bag. We waited, looking back at Jack.
"Go on, shoo," said Jack. "See you in a bit." He was still smiling. A genuine smile and I was impressed with his courage. He was doing all this to make us feel better.
We shuffled out, Gwen and Owen walked out of the cog door without a backward glance. Toshiko looked over her shoulder and smiled at Jack before exiting. I stood for several seconds and whispered, "Good luck" to the small figure in the oversized coat before following them. We all piled into the lift as the door rolled closed behind me. The lift took us up and we walked to the Tourist Office and out into the cold afternoon. It was bright and sunny which seemed so inappropriate. An announcement rang out for a tourist trip round the bay at just that moment. How could normal life be continuing? We stood, looking at one another. Not knowing what to do or say.
Will it work?