What has happened to Jack?
"How long do we have to wait?" asked Gwen. "When will the tachyon stuff be gone?"
"It degrades fast. Five minutes maybe." Owen took a couple of paces and sat on one of the benches against the wall. Toshiko joined him. She had her mobile computer in her hand and after a moment she started tapping at it.
"What are you doing, Tosh?" Gwen had also seen her at work.
"I can monitor the Hub with this." We all crowded round, eager to know what was happening. "He's activated the force field and the tachyon emitters." She looked up, "It's either worked or it hasn't."
"Can you tell?" I demanded, eager to know the outcome though petrified at the same time.
"No, sorry. I only had limited time to set this up." She tapped a few more keys and frowned. "No!" she exclaimed.
"What?" said Gwen, gripping my arm hard. I could feel her fingernails digging into my skin even through three layers of clothes. "What is it!?"
Toshiko was up and at the Tourist Office door trying the handle. "He's locked down the Hub. There's no way in for another … hour and 20 minutes." She looked round at us, wide eyed. "We can't get in." It was then I understood why he he'd put his wrist strap into his greatcoat pocket.
"There must be a way," said Owen, now up and shaking the knob of the door. He tried putting his shoulder to it and forcing it open. "There's got to be."
"Don't. You'll only hurt yourself," said Gwen, putting a hand on his arm and pulling him to a stop. She was calm and it was obvious why Jack had appointed her leader in his absence. "We've just got to wait. It's what he wants. And I don't know about the rest of you but I need a drink." She looked round at us. "Come on, let's find a warm bar." She walked up the sloping wooden walkway and we followed her.
We chose one of the tourist café bars that littered Mermaid Quay. There were only a few people inside and it was warm and served booze. Gwen went to a large table at the back, away from the other patrons, and settled down. We followed, taking off coats and sitting down in silence. A waiter came over almost immediately.
"Gin and tonic," ordered Gwen, "a double."
"You really shouldn't be drinking while you're taking the antibiotics," said Owen. She shot him a withering look and he shrugged. "I'll have a Bud," he said to the waiter, giving up on the argument.
"Spritzer, please," came from Toshiko.
"Scotch on the rocks." They looked at me then, surprised by my order, but said nothing. I needed something warming that would deaden the gnawing pain inside me. Scotch was the most obvious solution.
The drinks arrived. Gwen raised hers in a toast, "Jack," she said quietly.
"Jack," we all repeated. I don't know what the others were thinking. I was wondering if this was becoming too much like a wake. We didn't know what had happened to him, whether he had been returned to his adult form or blinked out of existence. I prayed, as I took the first sip of my drink, that it would be the former.
I thought back over the time I'd known Jack, was it really only just over a year? It seemed as if I hadn't lived before I knew him. So much had happened in that time, things I'd like to forget and others I wanted to remember forever. I thought of our first meeting, the days I'd spent following him before I caught him alone and was able to speak to him. I smiled at the memory and took another drink.
"What is it?" asked Toshiko softly. "You're smiling." She was looking at me curiously, a small smile on her own lips.
"I was remembering the first time I spoke to Jack. It was in Bute Park and he was tackling a Weevil. Reckoned he could handle it himself but it didn't look like it to me." I smiled more genuinely, it was good to share memories with these friends. Any disagreements didn't seem important any more.
"We were with a Weevil the first time he spoke to me, remember? In the hospital after that porter was killed." Gwen was smiling now, recalling the encounter and the way Jack had taken her arm and whisked her away from the scene.
"That wasn't the first time," put in Owen. He was leant back in his chair, nursing his bottle of Bud. Gwen looked across at him obviously about to argue. "It wasn't," he forestalled her. "He spoke to you when you were spying on us from the car park."
"You're right, he did. I'd forgotten," admitted Gwen. "I never did find out how he knew I was there."
It was still a bit like a wake but at least we were talking about him which I thought was better than sitting and brooding in silence. "What about you, Tosh? When did he first speak to you?" She swallowed and I wondered if I'd said something wrong. I remembered she'd never explained how she had been recruited.
"I was with UNIT. He praised some tech I'd built, said he had a job for me." She smiled genuinely, "Best decision I ever made, to accept this job."
We looked at Owen who shrugged. "At the hospital where I was working. During an operation there was a kind of explosion when the team came across an alien in .. in a woman's brain. He offered me a job."
I had the feeling both he and Toshiko had not told quite all the truth but I didn't care. If the circumstances were personal and they wanted to conceal them who was I to probe. My reasons for seeking out Jack had hardly been disinterested. I had just used him. I took another sip of the whisky.
Gwen suddenly laughed. "God, I was just remembering my first day with you lot. I did everything wrong, made so many mistakes. You must have thought I was a right twat."
"Not as bad as mine," I said, "Owen locked me in the cells." Gwen, who had just taken a drink, spluttered with laughter. "He did. For three hours." I looked at him, my face a mask. "I thought I had joined a lunatic asylum."
"Why?" she demanded of Owen.
"Why!? What else should I have done with him?" he looked round at us innocently. "He turns up, all suited and booted, and knows all about Torchwood and Jack and where to find us. I didn't know who he was, thought he was some kind of snoop."
"You must have known he was coming."
"Hadn't a clue. Not a fucking clue. No one told me he was starting." He tipped up his bottle and drank from it. "So I locked him up 'til someone told me better."
"But he didn't bother to tell us," put in Toshiko. "We - Jack, Suzie and me - were out, responding to an alert. We'd been back a couple of hours before Jack suddenly remembered Ianto was starting and asked where he was. That was when Owen told us he'd locked someone up in the cells." She was laughing now too, that cute little giggle behind her hand.
"Oh God, that is so typical of Jack," laughed Gwen. "Forgets he's recruited someone, forgets to tell everyone."
"On my first day," volunteered Toshiko, "he sat me down at a desk and handed me this alien artefact and told me to find out what it was. I had no idea what I doing. I was lost in the Hub, I didn't even know where the toilets were. Then he and Suzie took off leaving me alone. I was petrified." She shook her head ruefully, "You got it easy, Gwen."
"Seems I did," she admitted. "Was it just him and Suzie when you joined then?"
"Yes. There was a doctor, Peter, but he only came in when he was needed."
"And I thought five people weren't enough. It must have been hell with only three."
"It was … interesting," Toshiko replied.
We carried on like this for a bit longer, talking about Torchwood and shared experiences. I found comfort in it but was still resolute. If Jack had … gone then I was leaving as soon as I could. Perhaps South America, I thought, my mind drifting. I'd never been there but it seemed exotic and remote. Some hillside where no one could approach without me knowing about it. I would build a wooden house with a veranda and sit on it, in a rocking chair, surveying my land. I've no idea where the idea came from but it gradually coalesced in my mind. I could see the rooms containing a few pieces of furniture and the peasant woman who would come in and cook my meals. I would do nothing but sit and remember my time with Jack.
We had another round of drinks and silence descended once more. I was still on my hillside in Peru or perhaps Venezuela. After some further consideration, I decided on Peru. I don't know what the others were thinking. I swallowed the last of my whisky, enjoying the feel of it going down my throat and into my stomach. I looked at my watch, nearly time to go back. The Hub would be out of lockdown in 10 minutes. I looked up and saw Gwen staring at me, her face suddenly pale and frightened. I smiled, as reassuringly as I could which wasn't very. She managed a smile in return. "Time we made tracks," I said. I caught the waiter's eye and he brought the bill; Gwen insisted on paying and we didn't argue. With coats on, we walked slowly back to the Tourist Office. The day was still bright though the sun was low; it was getting late.
"Why do you think he locked the place down?" asked Gwen as we neared the Hub entrance.
"He was knocked unconscious the first time, for over an hour. I don't think he'd want us to know the outcome before he did." I had reasoned this out over the drinks.
She nodded. "Tosh?" she asked when we had arrived. We knew what she was asking.
"Another couple of minutes." We waited, silent. There was an audible clunk from the door. Owen, who was closest, tried the handle and opened the door.
The ride down in the lift took the same time as it always did but it felt like hours. Now the time had come I just wanted to rush down and … I wasn't sure what I wanted. To see Jack, of course, alive and adult again if possible. But Jack in any shape or size would be fine by me. I wanted to hold him, to be held by him. To know that my world was back on its normal course. The lift eventually stopped and the doors opened behind me. I was first out and walked quickly down the slope and opened the cog door. The place was quiet, eerily so, and I didn't wait for the others, I just ran up the steps to the entrance to the Medical Bay.
It was empty. The others crowded behind me and I heard Gwen sob out "No!" I felt her move away.
"This can't be right!" shouted Owen and he and Toshiko went to their workstations and began tapping away, trying to work out what had gone wrong.
I stood. Alone now. Alone for the rest of my life. Peru beckoned.
Oh ... my .... God ...