A/N: We're back with Klink now...
Warnings: As has been mentioned...Klink has unrequited yearnings for Hogan.
Movies Are Your Best Escape - 6
It was more fun than I had had for about as long as I could remember.
The two military archivists were clearly not Germans, and one gave himself away as a Brit with his salute. I had no idea what they were doing in my camp, but I silenced their clumsy explanations while I still had plausible reason to be deceived by their story.
Next thing I knew, Hogan had taken me by the arm and strongly suggested that I make the most of the opportunity to show my kindness toward the Allied prisoners. My heart soared. Hogan did apparently care about my future after the fall of Germany, and he was offering me the opportunity to prove myself as a humane Kommandant on film.
I dove into the project with enthusiasm. I even dragged out a banner I had made when Stalag 13 was first opened that proclaimed (in English): Welcome to Stalag 13. I had thought it would help to put prisoners at ease on arrival. However, at the opening inspection of the camp, General Burkhalter had deemed it "ridiculous" and made me take it down. I was glad now that I had decided to save it!
The only bad moment was when Hogan saw me smelling his hat. I just couldn't help myself. I'd never actually held something of Hogan's before, much less something that was so imbued with his scent - the prison soap mixed with something rich and musky. It smelled of strength and masculinity, and I was briefly intoxicated, until I heard Hogan's voice behind me. I quickly gave him back his hat and he returned mine.
I hurried over and joined Helga, LeBeau and Carter on the steps of the Kommandantur while Hogan went and spoke to the cameramen.
Just then, a large car pulled into the camp, and much to my surprise, General von Kaplow emerged. He was no longer wearing the briefcase, so apparently his mission, whatever it was, had been accomplished.
"What an unexpected pleasure, Herr General," I said in greeting.
"Just on my way back from Berlin," he explained, "I couldn't wait to see my little friend Fräulein Helga," he took her hand and leered at her, "I thought perhaps we could have one of your excellent dinners."
He kissed Helga's hand. I had no interest in his attempts to seduce my secretary, I wanted to hear the latest news from Berlin.
"Herr General, you have just returned from Berlin - are things really as bad as they say they are?"
"Things were never better," boasted the general, "the Wilhelmstraße is busy with the war, and we are celebrating victories on all fronts."
"But what about the rumors?" I asked.
"Without rumors, there would be no war," replied the von Kaplow dismissively.
"But the Führer's speech last night - he hinted there might be negotiations."
"Perhaps it was a trial balloon; Hitler loves to confuse his enemies."
Von Kaplow was clearly losing interest in our conversation and began leering at Helga again.
I pasted a happy expression on my face, but inside, a traitorous part of me wilted in disappointment.
"So we're not losing the war?" I asked, wanting to be absolutely certain.
"Losing?" the general chuckled, "I've already made a hotel reservation in London."
With that he put his arm around Helga and led her off for a private word.
As they walked a short distance away, I did some quick thinking.
If we're not losing the war, then all that footage could get me into a lot of trouble. As much as I appreciate Hogan's efforts on my behalf, I simply cannot allow that film out of the camp.
I looked over and saw the two cameramen hurrying away with their camera. I had to stop them before they disappeared to wherever they had come from.
"Just a minute!" I called as I ran after them, "There will be no more pictures taken here! I will personally destroy this film!"
I seized the camera and attempted to open it. Hogan quickly stopped me.
"Wait a minute sir!" he said desperately, tearing my hand away from the opening latch.
I was so surprised that I did stop what I was doing as he attempted to grab the camera and me at the same time.
"Good move," he said much more quietly, one arm around me, pulling me close, "you know, this is probably a trick by the Gestapo to test your loyalty."
"But why?" I asked, my mind in a whirl.
"They're jealous, you're too efficient!"
So now Hogan wants me to believe the Gestapo is behind the filming?
As far as I knew, Hogan's plans had never failed before, so I decided to play along. Before I could really react, Hogan had grabbed the film camera.
"Here, I'll take this for you," he said and hurried off, but I followed him closely. He went to a rain barrel and dunked the camera several times into the water.
"There, now, there," Hogan said with satisfaction, "take that." He handed the camera back to the two archivists.
"I'd get rid of these guys if I were you," he said to me in a low voice as he shook water from his hands.
"Exactly!" I agreed.
"But fast!" urged Hogan.
I turned to them, "Captain! You and your assistant get out of here at once!"
"But Colonel, our car broke down..."
So that's their story? No matter, I can spare a car.
"Schultz! Requisition a car and driver from the motor pool and take the Captain and his assistant wherever they wish to go."
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!" Schultz said, and waddled quickly off.
"Auf wiedersehen, Colonel," said the Captain, evidently happy to be off, "heil Hitler!"
"Heil Hitler and get out," I replied, my patience wearing thin.
This charade on both sides would be funny if lives weren't at stake.
I decided to express some of my frustration to Hogan, but still under the current disguise.
"Imagine the nerve of those men coming here with their camera!" I said.
"Oh, you handled it masterfully, sir, masterfully," Hogan replied with a teasing grin as he continued to rub his cold, wet hands. I had the brief notion of lending him my gloves, but didn't dare with the general still lurking about somewhere.
"Thank you," I replied, somewhat mollified by the compliment. There was a moment of awkward silence. Then I remembered von Kaplow's hint about another dinner.
"Uh, Colonel Hogan..."
"Yes?"
"I was wondering if you and your men would mind doing me a favor?"
"What's the favor?" Hogan looked very interested.
"As you see, General von Kaplow has returned to camp and he was hoping to have another one of your Frenchman's excellent dinners. You could dine with us again, of course."
"I'll have to offer my men something in return," said Hogan.
"What do you want?"
"Our records back."
"Agreed."
I was mildly surprised that Hogan didn't ask for anything that would cost me money.
The dinner went similarly as the first one had, although this time there were no broken wineglasses or Englishmen crawling under the table. There were also no requests for me to play the violin.
After dinner Helga made a hasty escape, but Hogan, von Kaplow, and I smoked cigars in my sitting room. Hogan and von Kaplow continued their verbal jousting from last time, but thankfully they both maintained a civil tone and actually seemed to be enjoying themselves.
After he finished his cigar, the General made his excuses. It seemed that without Helga there to seduce, he was ready to leave. He sent for his car and we waved him off from the door of my quarters.
Hogan looked at me questioningly. He was expecting me to order him back to his barracks, but I wasn't quite ready to say goodnight.
"Hogan, would you care for another glass and a smoke?"
"Sure! Thanks!"
We went back inside and I poured another glass of wine for each of us and we lit new cigars. As Hogan sat in one of my stuffed chairs he looked around the room curiously.
"So where did all this stuff come from? Not from the army, surely!"
I laughed, "No, it's all stuff from the Burg Klink - things my mother was ready to dispose of."
"Burg Klink?"
"The family home. Sounds grander than it is, it's really just a - what is the English expression? a pile, I believe you would call it, out in the Harz mountains. I've never spent a lot of time there, while I was growing up we lived in Düsseldorf."
Hogan then proceeded to ask me about my family, my childhood, my education. His interest was extremely gratifying because he listened with complete attention. I tried to ask him similar questions in return, but he always managed to give brief answers and draw long ones from me.
Hogan finally finished his cigar, and ground it out, looking just a bit regretful. At least, that's what I hoped I read in his expression.
"Well, sir, this has been nice, but I think I'm ready to call it a night."
"Of course, Hogan. Thank you for accommodating my request on behalf of General von Kaplow. I'll have the records taken over to the recreation hall in the morning."
"Thank you, sir."
"And Hogan," I had a sense of regret over what I had to say next, "I've given it some thought, and, I don't think I can - I don't think I will play in your orchestra at the present time."
Hogan looked at me searchingly for a moment then said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, Colonel. Well, remember, our door is always open if you change your mind."
We shook hands and Hogan made his way off towards the barracks.
I turned around and saw my record player with the stack of records beside it. Since they would be leaving in the morning, I decided to listen to my favorite one, so as I washed up the wine glasses I was swaying to the sounds of Tommy Dorsey.
END.
A/N: So, I obviously have changed the ending there quite a bit. Please let me know what you think! As I said, things will be different from here on out...