Chapter 5: Suffering

Ava drove Charlie back towards the diner, Charlie was silent for most of the drive, they were half way back when she spoke,

' Ava can you pull over for a minute?'

' Sure, are you alright?' Charlie nodded and Ava pulled over onto the dusty sand of the desert. Charlie got out and sat down on a large flat rock a few feet away from the car, Ava got out and sat with her,

' You gonna tell me what's wrong?' Ava said nudging Charlie

' I couldn't do it, I felt like…like I was…I don't know dying when I was sitting there, it's like something was telling me not to do it but how am I gonna be a mom Ava I can barely keep my shit together?'

' I think you'll do better than you think'

' Ava why did you really come out to this hell hole?'

' Depends on your definition of hell, personally mine was marrying a man who loved money more than me and had an affair with my best friend'

' Oh my god what an asshole, why didn't you say anything?'

' Well if we're doing the revealing thing there's a lot of reasons why I came here, the night I caught my ex with my friend I was coming home early to tell him I was pregnant, when I saw them I stormed out, he and I argued and I walked out into the road to get away from him, I was hit by a car that turned out to be my friend driving'

' Fuck!' Charlie said quietly

' I lost my baby, had to have an operation to stop the bleeding which gave me an infection that destroyed part of my uterus so the chances of me ever conceiving again are slim to none'

' Oh god Ava that's horrible'

' Yes it was, do you know what my mother said to me in the hospital?' Ava said laughing to hide her sadness, Charlie shook her head and Ava continued,

' She said Ava, god has a plan, well you know what I had a plan but apparently my plan wasn't good enough, I just feel like…like I…'

' Lost your faith?' Charlie said knowingly

' Exactly, how'd you know?'

' My mom lost hers when my dad left'

' She ever get it back?'

' No she never tried to she just gave up and crawled into a bottle of vodka, don't do that Ava'

' No I'm here to get away from everyone, piece of advice from a priest, he said get away and go on your own pilgrimage to find your faith'

' Found it yet?'

' I think I'm getting there' she said smiling.

After driving Charlie back she went back to the motel, she walked slowly up the stairs and without looking up, opened her door and closed it behind her. She rubbed her face in exhaustion and paused when she heard the bedsprings squeak the way they did when she got up every morning. She pulled her hands away slowly and saw a strange man standing in front of her, her hand slid behind her back and gripped the door handle,

' You don't need to be afraid Ava, I'm Michael'

' Oh really, if you're Michael who have you been sending to me?'

' Rafael'

' Just checking' she said relaxing and letting go of the handle,

' Rafael tells me you drove to a clinic today'

' Don't worry your precious cargo's safe, she didn't get rid of the baby' he nodded

' I'm sorry this has all fallen on you Ava'

' Don't be sorry for that instead why don't you tell me if me losing my child was all part of god's plan like my mother seems to think it was, hmm?'

' Even I do not know that, though I have been watching you and I am sorry you have suffered so much'

' Forget it, it's done now I cant change it and I bet you cant either' he shook his head

' So how comes I've got you and no Rafael?'

' I cannot keep sending him, it puts him in danger so I will be coming to you from now on'

' Ok, so things are really starting to kick off now then?' she said sitting down

' God still has no faith in humanity and time is running out, Ava I will be honest I will be watching you but you won't see me until the baby is due, they will know about it soon until then I need you to look after the mother'

' Ok I can do that'

' Thank you Ava'

' Can I ask you one more thing?'

' Of course'

' If god has no faith in humanity, why do you still have faith in us?'

' He has lost faith but he can get it back, just like you did?'

' Me?'

' After everything you went through you still believed when an angel stood in your room and told you the end of humanity was coming, you didn't doubt you helped, you have faith Ava' his pale blue eyes stared into hers and unnerved her.

The months passed quickly, Ava grew bored of doing nothing and started waitressing at the diner, she got her divorce papers from Steve and typical Steve was determined to give her as little money as possible, she didn't care she was just happy to be free of him. Charlie was now seven months pregnant and with every passing month Ava had witnessed Jeep's feelings for Charlie grow more apparent, she felt for him Charlie was so confused about how she felt about her baby that she couldn't even begin to contemplate feelings for anyone else. Ava was also concerned, for the last few months there had been nothing, no signs of gods incoming wrath and no news from Michael, she wanted to see the angel again, his few words to her had comforted her more than anyone else's and even she knew a part of her faith had returned. She had taken to sitting in the kitchen with Percy while the diner was quiet, he was a good man and she liked him. He explained to her about his war injury and how his wife had left him after she had been unable to cope with it,

' You know when she left I thought I'd lost my faith, I thought god must really hate me to do this to me then take her away from me'

' I know what you mean' she said eating one of the French fries Percy had just cooked,

' What made you doubt?' he asked her, she told Percy the whole story about Steve's affair with her best friend, losing her baby, the operations, the infections that led to her being practically infertile and her loss of faith, Percy was silent for her whole story and wiped away a tear when she finished,

' That's a lot to go through Ava'

' Yeah but like my mum always says, "god has a plan", I only started to believe that a while ago'.

She drove back to the motel and Janet smiled and waved at her as she walked up to her room, she opened the door and jumped immediately, Michael was standing literally in front of her in the doorway,

' Do you think you could warn me you're coming in advance, fuck' she said breathlessly clutching her chest as she tried to move past the shock,

' I don't have long Ava' she walked inside and closed the door

' This sounds ominous' she said depressingly

' It will start soon' Michael said warningly

' He hasn't changed his mind then?'

' No far from it, Ava it wont be long now and he will…'

' Destroy the world?'

' Well…in a way…'

' What do you mean in a way?'

' He hasn't shared his method with anyone, even I don't know how he plans to end humanity all I know is you must keep Charlie and her child safe' she nodded

' What are you going to do?' she had a horrible feeling in her stomach, she knew from the look in Michael's eyes he was suffering,

' What I have to'

' You're suffering' it was a statement more than a question, Michael didn't answer, instead he turned and walked out of the door.