After Fox needs, the K-Unit needs a new member. Wanting to find someone Wolf won't shoot, the sergeant interviews a new recruit. Sequel to 'New SAS Member Needed,' but you don't have to read that one first as all job postings are actaully described in here.
Enjoy. Reviews feed the soul.
Dedicated to NightmareWorld who gave me the idea.
The man didn't flinch under the sergeant's glare. He had no way to know that the K-Unit was watching this interview from behind the glass. He had no way to know that Eagle was looking for blackmail material, Snake was wondering how often he'd have to patch the man up, and Wolf was looking to see if he would have to survive yet another trainee.
"So you've put in your application, then. You must be brave."
The man smiled a bit. "I've heard that from several people here. All of them think I'm crazy for applying for K-Unit, especially because I'm so young."
"And why did they say that?"
"They say that the K-Unit doesn't have the best of luck with 'kids.'" The man smirked a bit.
The sergeant smiled. "How comfortable are you with people finding out details about your personal life?"
A blank stare from the man. "Fairly comfortable… why?"
"How comfortable are you with them being on the Internet?"
"I thought all of our information is classified."
"It generally is. K-Unit is being stalked by a rather large group of people online. We've had to be incredibly careful with their security the last few month. They call themselves 'FanFiction' members and publish stories on everything. And I do mean everything. Snake was quite horrified to find out in one story he was paired with Eagle."
"Paired, sir?"
"As in together."
"I guess I could handle it," he said with a shrug.
"How are you with dealing with hyperactive teenagers?"
"I wasn't aware we had to babysit in the SAS."
"You don't. You just need to keep all of the matches away from Eagle."
"Eagle?"
"Your comrade."
"Oh. I can do that. I mean, I don't know about the matches part, but…"
The man smiled at that. "Don't worry. Cub made the mistake of giving him matches, too."
"Cub was the kid they trained with?"
A blank stare from the sergeant. "Can you deal with being shot at? Holding your temper when someone gets pissed off?"
"Not a problem," the man said. "I have no problem with the temper thing."
Wolf's original posting:
WOLF: We are the K-Unit. If you want to survive our team, you'll have to deal with people talking about you in FanFiction. You'll have to deal with Eagle, who has made many grown men cry, and not from torture. (Pathetic, really, if you ask me). You'll have to take the risk of being shot at. You'll need to act quickly, and you'll need to ignore my random bursts of outrage.
"I've seen your movement through the ranks. You're impressive at training, so I'm sure you'd be good with the original SAS job description. I know you've been here only six weeks; K-Unit's here for another four weeks of refresher training, no problem there. Can you bring people in alive as apposed to killing them?"
"When the situation presents itself, Sir."
"Can you deal with someone who's very overprotective?"
"I'm guessing that's the medic of the team?"
"Perhaps. The man who was recruited for MI6 called him a 'Mother Hen.'"
The man shrugged. "As long as he doesn't crush pills in my water I'll be fine."
"Can you deal with someone who is extremely hyper?"
"Didn't we deal with this in the toddler section? Or the teenager section? Hyper isn't a problem; I'd rather them be hyper than lethargic."
The sergeant smiled. "What about dealing with someone who 'needs a few etiquette lessons?'"
"I probably need some myself. Not a problem there."
FOX's original job posting: This is the K-Unit team. I'm sure you've already read the SAS job description: Fly over buildings, attack random people because of their crimes, and kill as many badies as possible. Oh, wait. Don't tell the sergeant I said that. He likes them to come in alive. And you'll have to deal with a Mother Hen, A Very Hyper SAS Member, and someone who could deal with a few etiquette lessons. I'm not telling you which is which because they would shoot me. Good luck.
"I already know you have level two clearance, so that's not a problem," the sergeant replied.
"You looked at my file then." The man seemed amused.
"Absolutely. We've already been over the 'patience' part, so I won't deal with that again. One of the members has a strict dietary chart. Can you refrain from giving him alcohol and hot chocolate?"
"Sure, unless he accidentally raids my secret stash."
SNAKE's original job posting: Welcome to the K-Unit team. I'm assuming if you're reading this job description you have at least level 2 clearance. Or, if you don't, you have at least, at least, level 1 clearance. That aside, to join this team you MUST have patience, and you must be able to deal with our, ahem, wonderful team mates. Oh - and please don't give Eagle anything besides what's in his dietary chart. Otherwise you'll regret it. Just ask Cub about the time he gave Eagle hot chocolate...
"Can you ignore random explanations, random insults?"
"I thought we covered that before. Yeah, I can ignore pretty much everything. Except getting shot at. Not so much of a fan there."
A smirk from the sergeant. "Just one word of caution about that."
"What?"
"Don't ignore Eagle when he's hyper, you'll regret it."
Eagle: If you're reading this, good luck on getting into our unit. I don't know how many people applied for this position. If you do get accepted, good luck lasting a week. Please ignore Wolf's random insults, Fox's random explanations about how communication devices work that nobody wants to know anyway, and Snake's mothering hen personality. Do not, however, ignore me when I am hyper... You will regret it.
"So, you speak four languages, then?"
"Yes, sir. English, Spanish, French, and Russian. Just one question, Sir?"
"Yes?"
The sergeant's original job posting: Looking for someone to join an elite SAS team. Must be flexible and able to think under gunfire. Must be able to deal with an overactive toddler (yes, your comrade) and be able to think under stress. Must have three years military training and be able to speak another language in addition to English. Ideal candidate knows three languages, including Russian, as one of the soldiers has a tendency to slip into talking in that language when stressed.
"Who slips into Russian when they're stressed?"
"Actually, Eagle."
A full grin escaped the man's lips. "Never really expected that one."
"Nobody really does."
The sergeant sighed. "Well, welcome to the unit again, Cub. Hope you're here to stay this time."
Seventeen-year-old Cub stretched and offered a handshake. "Absolutely."
Outside the room, Eagle blanched. "Did he just say…"
"Wait, I thought you couldn't be a member of the SAS until…" Snake said, glancing at Wolf.
Wolf just smirked. When he'd seen Cub come back through the ranks, he'd approached him. Cub had decided he liked SAS better than MI6 and told them in no uncertain terms he would publically release what they'd done to him if they attempted to remove him. He'd decided to invite Cub to apply for the posting.
They'd put up with Cub once before, they could do it again.
Especially since he'd proven himself this time.
FINISHED