Author's Note: This isn't my best work, but I can't think of how to improve on it so here it is. I hope you like it more than I do!

P.S. Your reviews make me absolutely giddy. This story is way outside of my comfort zone, so I really really appreciate all of the encouragement. THANK YOU!

In the first week of February 1837, a minor miracle occurred; I missed my monthly bleed.

My relationship with Andre had steadily improved, but I was not proud of why. I resolved to keep my feelings about Erik's mother to myself and to try my best not to judge her when I began to see the boy regularly. However my visits with Erik were not to my husband's knowledge. Business in the village proper was slow, but the surrounding country was filled with farms in need of a talented veterinarian during the mating season. Andre was out of town for a night or two every week; when he was, I would leave word with Erik at our arranged rock in his mother's garden that it was safe to visit.

Small changes in him were evident almost immediately. Erik became more child-like with every visit, more eager to play and explore. I knew almost immediately he was an intelligent child, but I never would have guessed just how smart he really was. He devoured books I would bring him from the library in Rouen, sketched masterful buildings while I clumsily drew vases and fruit, not only played but composed some of the most magnificent music I had ever heard, and often brought me clever little toys he had made from scraps of metal and glass he had found at his mother's home.

In spite of his enormous intellect, Erik still had a lot learning to do about the world. He was fascinated with people and the relationships between them in particular, demanding to know how I met nearly every person in my life and why I chose to befriend them.

As wonderful company as Erik was, I worried immensely how to best tell Erik that I was expecting a baby. Imagine my surprise when Erik solved the problem for me.

"Are you sick?" He asked one evening as I folded a chocolate egg yolk mixture into well-whipped egg-whites.

"No, sweetheart. Why would you think I'm sick? Now, pass me the ramekins."

"You look different," Erik explained, climbing up onto a nearby counter with catlike agility to fetch what I'd asked for. "Like you're worried about something."

With practiced delicacy I poured the soufflé batter into the ramekins, careful not to destroy the fragile mixture as I transferred the dishes into the oven and closed the door gently. "Now, we can't so much as breathe too close to the oven for the next three quarters hour or they'll never rise," I explained, ushering Erik out of the kitchen to give the soufflés peace.

As soon we moved into the sitting room, Erik lingered by the door. "If you were dying you would tell me, right?"

The desperation in his voice made my heart ache, and I quietly moved to my knees to be more level with him. "Of course I would, Erik. What makes you think I would keep something like that a secret?"

Erik threw his arms around my neck and buried his little masked face into my shoulder. I hugged him tightly in turn, needing no further explanation; he was afraid I would leave him and what might happen if I did. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'm certainly not sick. In fact…" I added, somewhat hesitantly before pulling him back just enough to meet his gaze. "I'm quite the opposite of dying."

His head tilted some in confusion. "What is the opposite of dying."

"I'm pregnant," I said with a small smile, privately reveling in the word but still wary of his judgment.

"…Oh."

This was not a response I was expecting. I was expecting excitement, anger, apprehension… anything other than quiet understanding. "What do you think about that?" I prompted, sitting back on my heels.

Erik only shrugged noncommittally and would not meet my gaze. "You're upset," I noticed, and Erik shrugged again.

"I'm not anything."

"You can tell me what you're thinking. I promise I won't be angry."

The boy shifted his weight from foot to foot, still not meeting my eyes. After watching him expectantly for a long moment, he finally broke down and answered. "It's just… it's just that I want you to be my mother. Now you're going to be someone else's mother and you won't have time for me anymore, and I'll have to go back to Madeleine as my mother and I hate her, I hate her and she hates me and now…" he sobbed, ending his ramble.

"I'm not going to stop seeing you because of the baby," I promised gently, reaching forward to stroke a tear off his masked cheek with my thumb. When Erik continued to cry and hold himself, I pulled him into my arms with a deep frown. "Erik… sweetheart, I wish every day God have given you to me instead of her. It isn't fair that she was given such a wonderful son while mine was taken from me. But I believe – I know everything happens for a reason. You're destined for great things. Maybe the troubles you have with your mother are meant to prepare you for what is to come. Maybe they'll be the worst thing you ever face and the rest of your life will be beautiful. I hope beyond hope that it is, but no matter what happens you have a safe place in my home and in my heart," I promised, touching my chest over where my heart ached for him and the life he would know.

By the time the soufflés were ready, Erik had cried himself out. They were a great success, tall and tender to perfection although neither of us was in the mood to celebrate our culinary victory. We ate in silence, and I was nearly finished with my dessert when an idea struck me. "Why don't you try thinking about this in a different way."

Erik glanced up to me, perplexed. I continued. "Don't think of the baby as a replacement. Think of her as a sibling. A new playmate. She's going to look up to you, you know."

"…She is?"

I nodded with a smile. "Yes she is. Or he; I'm not sure if it's a boy or a girl. Either way, I have two older siblings; a brother and a sister. I worshipped the ground they walked on when I was growing up. You're going to be able to teach her so many things."

Erik seemed to like this idea and began to eat his soufflé with more vigor. "Do you think if I taught her to throw her voice now she could talk to us?" He suggested, and I laughed.

After that night, Erik was thrilled about the prospect of a baby. When he discovered that the baby was actually growing inside me he became very careful of me, insisting that I sit and allow him to make a late supper or dessert. In the short amount of time I had been teaching him to cook, Erik had become rather talented. I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was; Erik was splendid at everything he tried.

I also should not have been surprised when in late May Andre discovered what Erik and I had been up to while he was away.

Just as I was placing dinner on the table, Andre dropped a folded card onto my place at the table. "Please tell me you did something to Madeleine Renard to make her lash out against you."

I blinked and picked up the card – I could almost read the passive aggression in the neat script.

"You are cordially invited to the birthday dinner of Erik Renard. To be held on the thirtieth of May at five in the evening in the Renard residence dining room.

Yours,

M. Renard"

My heart sank in my chest as Andre continued. "She hunted me down at a client's house to give me this, demanding to know why Erik had asked only for you to be invited, and why just now. We met the boy last March and you hadn't made enough of an impression on him to be invited the last time. So why now when you haven't seen the boy for over a year?"

"I… I've been inviting Erik over to visit when you leave for Rouen or Paris. We cook dinner, play the piano, read, talk. He needed someone to care about him, and –"

"I don't believe this. Have you gone completely mad? That boy is not your son! How many times did I tell you that? He already has a mother. You can't replace our son with some little brat who doesn't like his own mother.

"If you had seen what I saw, if you'd seen some of the days he comes over with bruises or so numb to the world he barely moves all night… Something is wrong with that woman. And Andre, his face… It's not normal. He has scars. God only knows how he got them, but that's why he wears the mask. He needs someone to care for him more than ordinary boys, but all he gets from Madeleine is abuse."

"Collette, listen to yourself! You have no relationship to this boy. You've only known him for a year, and already you're lying to your husband to visit him. I've heard of cheating wives less manipulative and conniving than you've been!"

"I never once lied to you," I defended, although my heart was heavy with guilt. "I just never told you the whole truth."

"Because you knew I would forbid it. I brought you here to keep you from going mad with grief after the miscarriage, but this is madness. The woman I married was honest, considerate, practical –"

"I am all those things, Andre," I swore.

"You put a stranger's child in front of your own husband!" He lamented, moving out of the room and pulling on his coat.

I panicked. "Where are you going? You just got home."

"For a walk. Maybe to my brother's for the weekend," he admitted as he tied a scarf around his neck. I moved to pull my coat on as well.

"That's a wonderful idea. Paris is beautiful this time of year, and I haven't been back since –"

"I'm going alone, Collette. I need to be away from you for a few days before I say or do something I regret. "

I was crying as Andre walked out the door, unable to catch my breath.

I'm not sure how long I was in that state before Erik found me. He said nothing while I tried to cope with the way my life had fallen to pieces, overwhelmed by my complete and total lack of control. In a little over a year I had lost a son, my home, my friends, I was losing my knight in shining armor and I feared every second of every day that I might lose this new life growing inside me. I was powerless.

But in the eyes of this little boy, this child with the weight of the world on his shoulders, I was love incarnate. In Erik's world I was the only human who had ever shown him not only kindness, but care. That night it was his turn to pick me up out of the dust and show me the love and affection I so desperately needed in that time.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this," I managed after a while, whipping at my eyes. I don't remember how I got to the chair I was now sitting in, but Erik was curled in my lap like a dog eager to comfort its master.

"It's my fault. I'm the reason he left."

I shook my head and rested my cheek on the top of Erik's head, holding him tightly. "He would have found out sooner or later. I just wish he understood… if he met you, talked to you for just a while I know he'd see how special you are, that it's all worth it."

"We could run away," Erik suggested quietly. "You, me, and the baby. Then he wouldn't have to understand."

I laughed without amusement. "I can't do that, Erik. Even if I could make ends meet, it's not right. Marriage is a contract. A promise to stand by each other's side until death –"

"But your husband left," the boy reasoned naively.

It was all I could do not to cry again at the thought, but then another thought came to mind. "Erik, how did you know to meet me? I wasn't expecting him out today."

"Andre came to our house," Erik explained. "He told Madeleine you would come to my birthday. He sounded very upset, and I saw him get into a carriage; you live close enough to walk, even in the cold. When Madeleine fell asleep I came over to apologize for getting you in trouble."

I clicked my tongue at him in distaste. "It's not polite to call your mother by her first name, young man." I scolded, pushing back his hair.

"Madeleine isn't my mother. You are."

I closed my eyes tightly against a fresh onslaught of tears and rocked the boy gently in my arms.

I am an emotional woman, and have never pretended to be otherwise. My heart governs me in most if not all matters, but I am not unobservant. I knew as soon as my husband left our home a day would come when I would be forced to choose between him and Erik. I cried when he left because I did not know how I could possibly make such a choice.

I cried as I held Erik because I knew then with absolute clarity who I would chose, and what my choice would mean to everyone involved.