Paul's pov.
It's been a fucked up couple of weeks. I avoid Laurena as much as I could, but I couldn't seem to forget about her. I saw her with Embry a lot but then it seemed to lessen. I heard he started dating some chick from another rez which made me ecstatic, but strangely she didn't come running back to me. I didn't hear about her dating anyone on the rez. I was completely confused. Well that is until I was outside of the diner one Saturday, talking to Jared and Jacob. Laurena Walked out of the diner with Edward fucking Cullen! WTF!
I felt my arms start to shake.
"What is she doing with HIM" I spit. They both turn and look at me. "Man, calm down" Jacob says with authority. WTF! "Yeah man, since when does Paul Lahote care about who some chick dates. You aren't jealous are you?" Jared says efficiently distracting me. "I am not!" I say. "Defensive are we?" He asks eyebrow raised. "I don't give a fuck about her or any girl." Ouch! That fucking hurt! I look back to the diner and see them driving away. Is she driving his car? Fuck this shit, I need to get over this.
It's a few weeks later. I still avoid her as much as I can, but sometimes I can't help myself. I find myself looking her way when she doesn't know. She seems happy, which makes me happy which in turn confuses me. She smiles a lot but, I realize happily, not as much as when we were together. She is fucking beautiful though and even though Embry pisses me of, the two of them poke fun of each other often which showed me how funny and smart she is. I like listening to them when they don't realize, fucking stalker I know.
Today I was supposed to spend the day with Jake But he said he had to take care of some shit with Sam. When Embry came to pick him up, he seemed highly pissed off and nervous. "She is so fucking stupid some times!" He said as Jake got in his car. "It's not like she knows man." Jake said. "She should" he muttered before they drove off. Fucking crazy fuckers. What the hell was that about.
"Fuck" I mutter walking down the beach. I was already out of La Push but still continued. Fucking Jake! If he didn't bail I wouldn't be stuck with all this time thinking about Laurena. It's such a fucking hot day. Agh I am sweating like a marathon runner! I walk with my feet in the ocean. I can't take it anymore. So fucking what if she dates him or anyone else, I shouldn't care. But I do care. Damn it! Fine. I do care. But its not like am going to do anything. But I want to do something. Fuck! Why the hell do I have to go through this? Why do I care? I need I fucking sign or something.
Finally after a while it starts to cool and then rain. I love the rain. Me and Laurena use to sit and watch the rain from her porch swing. I loved that. Wait…. Do I love Laur…. I hear a beautiful and familiar giggle. I look up.
In front of me I see her. Laurena. She is sitting on his lap. Fucking Edward Cullen's lap. They are sitting on a log on the beach making out. I hate seeing her Fucking lips touch his. No! She can't do this to me! You are doing it to yourself. Agh! I feel my hands turn into fists I feel my arms shake then my shoulders then my chest. I feel like I am vibrating I want her! Not him me! I look up again at the two lip locked in the rain. I can't take the sight and I turn and run. I feel my body shake even more. My chest aches and my head is pounding but I just keep on running into the forest. Suddenly the pain in my chest expands and it feels like my body is ripping apart. I let out a cry but it comes out as a howl. … wait, a howl! Wtf is going on?
Calm down Paul. A deep voice says in my head.