Chapter 24: Must be all that inbreeding.
(Disclaimer in chapter 1)
Harry vowed that when all this is over, he will never work with children again. Ever. For as long as he lived. Little monsters.
"Harry Potter! I fell off my broom! MUMMY!!"
"Harry Potter! Harry Potter! She pushed me! Kill her with your scar! Bang!!"
"Harry Potter, can you hold my hand? Wow, you're holding my hand, HE'S HOLDING MY HAND!! LOOK, MUMMY!!"
"Harry Potter smiled at me the longest!"
"No, he smiled at ME the longest! AND he held MY hand!
Now that THAT was finally over with, Harry got his pay for the day and with a very annoyed Blaise (Don't they teach those little brats how to count? I said five sickles dammit, FIVE!!), walked around the fair to see if there was anything worth doing to calm down.
There wasn't much there that wasn't for little kids though, but Harry did spot one thing that distinguished out from the rest.
"Blaise look!!!" Harry stopped the older boy by grabbing his hand.
Blaise, however, was not cooperating. "What is it this time, Potter?! I'm tired, annoyed and hungry and did I mention annoyed???!!! I want to find Draco and Pansy and get the hell out of here." He glared at the golden boy who stared at him with wide eyes.
"B…But Cotton Candy…." He pointed to the stand he spotted.
Blaise glared but upon noticing Harry's tearing puppy eyes, he relented. "Oh alright."
Harry beamed and raced them both over to get some.
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A few moments later Blaise and Harry were finishing their super sized cotton delights and were making their way over to the fortune teller's stand.
Or where the fortune teller's stand used to stand.
"Hmm, what do you think happened?" Harry asked Blaise with a frown, his eyes raking over the burned mark upon the ground.
Blaise shrugged. "Who knows? We'll ask Pansy when we'll find her."
"As long as she didn't burn up like the rest of this thing." Harry gestured at the scorching mark.
Blaise frowned. "Don't you mean burn down?"
Harry shook his head. "Nah ha, something had to have burned up before it burned down."
"Riiiight." The pureblood shook his head and Harry grinned. "Are you going to finish that?" He pointed to the almost finished stick in Blaise's hand.
Zabini smirked. "Of course I am." He took a bite and moaned exaggeratedly at the taste. Harry just rolled his eyes.
"You and Draco are a perfect match to one another." Blaise grinned. "I know."
He paused and stared at the finished stick in his hand. "You know, this is really good."
=-=-=-=-=-=
"So where so you think Pansy's is?" The moment the words came out of his mouth, loud shouts and banging noises were heard.
Harry stared at Blaise who stared right back at him. "You don't think…"
Blaise shook his head. "Pansy? Nah, she wouldn't. Would she?"
They hurried over to see what the fuss was all about.
Children from the ages of five to fifteen were surrounding the stand from where banging sounds were heard, each of them eagerly cheering on the person who was making the sounds.
Said person wasn't keeping quiet at all.
"Hell yeah!!! Die!!! You wretched little cat! Like to see you play on your guitar now, you dead feline." Pansy Parkinson cackled evilly as she kept on shooting water from a plastic gun towards plastic cats that randomly popped up on the blank screen.
Each cat was holding a guitar and an annoying tune was heard from them; "Cat cat I'm a cat all you want to be….cat cat I'm a cat that's just me."
Harry and Blaise both noticed that the stand manager was no where in sight and frankly they couldn't blame him as Pansy was scary.
And that was only while holding a plastic water gun!!!!
"Die!!!! Die!!!!" Pansy jumped up and down as she fired her gun, her aim incredibly good.
Luckily, for the cats, they soon disappeared and didn't appear again. A winning tune soon followed and the manager got up from under the counter.
"Congratulation young lady." He spoke shakily but to his credit no one noticed.
"I want that one." Pansy wasted no time in saying, and pointed to a big white thing.
The manager, no doubt eager to send her on her way, made no argument and gave it to her. It being a big white bear with a dopey face.
When it reached Pansy, the girl immediately grabbed it and hugged it to her chest.
"Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?" She cooed and when catching sight of the two boys she gave it a pet on the head.
"I mean…it's really fluffy." She paused and put on a disgusted mask. "I mean…it's white." She nodded to herself as if that was what best described the bear more than anything.
Harry shook his head as Blaise tried to tug the bear away from his best friend (she held on tight and he didn't manage).
"Let's just go find Draco."
-=-=-=-=-
"Um. Blaise, do you remember where that clothes shop is? I, um, forgot."
"Of course you would forget Potter. Obviously." Said Blaise.
"Yeah, Potter, what's in your head? Bird shit?" She said, snuggling her giant white fluffy bear.
"Yeah? If you know so much, which way is it then?"
"This way," Blaise and Pansy said at the same time, pointing at two entirely different directions.
Harry raised an eyebrow. "You were saying?"
They just glared at each other. Harry sighed.
"Follow me…"
They walked around the fair for a few minutes, peeking into clothes stands that look like Draco might go into. Finally, they spotted his blond head talking to a tall brunette, and from the look of it, he was staring at her shoes.
They went in to investigate.
"Oh no no no, what on earth made you think these were something you can go out with in public? What is up with that ugly stuff on your toes? And- yuck, woman, why are you wearing that skirt? Have you ever heard of a little thing called color coordination? You look like a troll vomited all over you. Show me your nails. Now!"
The frightened woman in front of Draco shakily put her hands out, face down for him to inspect.
"Oh my GOD!" He took one of her hands in his and slapped it hard. "Never, EVER, bite your nails! And- my god, you stuck those horrible stone things on your nails. In Pink. Your nails are Magenta! What are you, color blind?"
He put one of his hands on his hip, and with the other he examined her hair.
"Listen honey, you need serious help. Obviously someone's trying to torture mankind with your outfit. Your hair smells like cheap air freshener. Your cloak is the ugliest thing I have ever seen, next to those shoes. And don't let me start on your make up!"
The shaking woman looked more offended then she had since this whole conversation started. She was at the brink of tears.
"Wha- what's wrong with my makeup? My aunt says it's perfectly fine!"
"Well it looks like your aunt needs glasses. About a cauldron thick, I would imagine. I mean, who did this to you, Bozo the Clown?"
Harry grinned and whispered to Blaise and Pansy, "How does he know about Bozo the Clown?"
Blaise shrugged and Pansy whispered back, "We went to the circus when we were nine."
They went back to the conversation at hand.
"I did this to myself!"
"Here's another thing you can do to yourself- Polyjuice Potion. At least then you'll look normal. Well, considering."
"Considering what?"
"That you have the fashion sense of a blind cockroach in heat."
"EEEWWWWWW!!"
She couldn't take it anymore and she ran away.
The trio couldn't take it anymore either, but they just burst out laughing.
"You're so cruel." Blaise cooed before he went to cup Draco's cheek and kissed him on the mouth.
Harry took the opportunity to whisper in Pansy's ear. "And you thought he was actually straight?"
Pansy flushed red and ignored him. "Let's just leave, okay?"" She said and hugged her bear.
Of course, that action caused Draco to notice it and squeal at its cuteness. Harry, once more, burst out laughing.
"Where did you get it?" He asked Pansy while stroking the teddy-bear's head; it was the only thing he could touch as Pansy wasn't letting go of it.
"Won it at a firing range." Draco nodded.
"Did you scare the manager again?"
"It's not my fault he's a coward." She sniffed. "You'd think I was hexing him instead of shooting water." She shook her head in disgust.
"Say Pans," Harry ignored her glare at the shortened name and just carried on. "What exactly happened to the fortune teller's stand? We saw burn marks on the ground."
Pansy shrugged. "Well remember that first idiot?" She didn't wait for them to nod and continued. "Well, he wasn't the only one around and one asked me to predict something that was bound to come true in a few moments."
Harry frowned and she explained. "See, I told him that a fire is going to start under his chair. So he ducked down to check, he obviously didn't see anything, right? So as he was opening his mouth to point it out, I kicked the oil lamp the old hag kept in the room." She ignored Harry's scandalized look. "It hit the guy's chair and lighted it on fire so we had to run when the fire got out of control."
Blaise and Draco grinned at her while Harry shook his head. "And he didn't even realize!? What an idiot!"
Pansy nodded. "He wasn't the only one; the witch in charge seemed to think that I really had a gift and just gave me more money for predicting the fire, which, as she says, 'could have started while I was in the room!'" Pansy snorted. "I swear, witches and wizards nowadays…"
Harry nodded. "Must be all that inbreeding." He laughed before starting to run when the three Slytherins took offence.
=-=$%^$%^$^$%-=-=-=
"So where's Lyra?"
"I asked McGonagall to baby sit her for a while. And where's Adam?" Harry shot right back at Pansy.
"Um. He's in the dumpster, I think."
"What?! What do you mean?"
"Well, we didn't want to put It on my bed, It's filthy! And I couldn't exactly leave it on the floor, could I? Someone could trip over It!"
"So you threw It away!?"
"We didn't throw it away! We put it in the trash can." She then added when Harry just kept on staring at her, "For safe keeps!"
Draco cut in, "You do realize the house elves empty the garbage cans every day, right?"
Pansy shrugged. "So?"
"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Added Blaise.
Draco shook his head unbelievingly.
"What do the house elves do with our garbage, anyway?" Asked Harry.
"Vanish it, probably." Said Draco.
"So the baby got vanished?" Pansy asked. "Huh. Do you think McGonagall's gonna have a fit?"
Blaise sighed. "We'll go ask the house elves later…"
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So after putting their shopping bags away, all four of them went down to the kitchens to visit the house elves and maybe retrieve the discarded plastic baby.
"Potter, why is there a pair of socks in your hand?" Blaise asked when they got the corridor with the fruit basket portrait.
"It's a gift for Dobby. The little guy loves me." He smirked at the blond.
They went inside.
"Master Harry Potter sir! You came to see me!" Harry was immediately attacked with a fierce hug to his mid section.
"Yup, I'm here to ask you another favor Dobby."
"Anything for Harry Potter sir, Master Harry Potter is the best wizard Dobby knows!"
"Really? Is that so?" Draco said coldly and smirked when Dobby stared at him in horror.
"Old young Master Malfoy sir! What is you doing here? Bad Dobby, Dobby should not ask about Master Malfoy's business, no he should not! Bad Dobby, bad!" Dobby started hitting himself over the head with his hand.
Draco grinned and picked up a metal spoon off of one of the tables. "Here Elf, use this- it's better." He was about to hand it to a distraught Dobby but Harry quickly hit Draco upside the head.
"You're an idiot Malfoy." He turned to the scared house-elf, "you are not to obey any order Malfoy gives you, okay Dobby? Only orders for food, if it stays within reason." Dobby nodded and looked at his savior, relived.
"What can Dobby get for Master Harry Potter sir? Dobby and house elves cook several yummy foods to eat and –"
"No Dobby, it's not about food." He suddenly remembered the socks in his hands and handed them over. "Here Dobby, it's for Halloween."
The house elf stared in shock and reverence at the gift before he took it from Harry with tears streaming down his face. "Master Harry Potter sir is too kind to Dobby, so kind and clever and smart and-"
"Dobby!" Harry sighed and stared around. "Right, hmm Dobby? We're missing a plastic baby," he paused realizing how that sounds. He shook his head. "It's a project for muggle studies and well, Blaise and Pansy here placed their baby in the trash and now it's missing."
Dobby didn't seem surprised at the news and just nodded. "I shall find it, Harry Potter sir." He turned around and went to search in the kitchen for the missing project.
Harry took the chance to turn to Draco with a glare. "What was that about, Malfoy? Dobby is a great house elf; you shouldn't act like that to him!"
Draco sniffed. "It's an elf, Potter; their job is to serve us. And when they don't do it right, they should get punished. I'm just helping him out."
Harry glared at him but Dobby chose that moment to appear with a very dirty baby in his hands. "Is that what's to be missing?" He asked and Pansy nodded.
The baby, upon seeing Pansy, started to cry very loudly. A very stinky smell invaded their senses.
"It needs changing." Harry pointed out the obvious and Pansy groaned as the baby kept on crying; the only thing their malfunctioning baby seemed to care about- diaper rash.
"Fine." She snapped and grabbed the plastic noise maker from the elf's arms. She turned around and banged it uncaringly on the table, completely ignoring the scandalized looks she was getting from Harry and the house-elves around them.
Pansy frowned as she tried to remove the filthy diaper from the baby who kept on grabbing her arms. "Blaise! Hold him!" She commanded the boy who quickly raced over, and to the general shock of everyone in the kitchen, held the baby's arms above his head forcefully. Pansy nodded and quickly finished the change while the baby giggled happily.
"I hope to GOD, you won't become anyone's mother." Harry shook his head as Pansy grabbed the child by his leg and went to the door. "Yeah well, that's what nannies are for." She answered and Harry waved goodbye to Dobby before leaving as well.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The dark night sky glittered with stars and the pale light of the full moon made its way to Harry's spot by the lake.
The boy quietly stretched, feeling the day's stress melt away as he looked at the squid playing in the lake.
Suddenly Harry felt a twinge in his scar on his forehead, something he hadn't felt in a long time, due to his Occlumency.
He was about to block Voldemort's attempts to enter his mind before he froze.
A grin spread his lips wide as an evil idea took over.
Tbc.
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A/n: Wow!!! We did it. Finally we updated our story, aren't you pleased? Though, it isn't our fault as each had their own problems to overcome….we do have a social life, you know!
Rock_Junkie just finished her high school career and will now have a little bit more time to write, she is currently working on her story Rabbity Harry which will hopefully come out (Hehehe) in the next month or so. (Writer's block).
DikiCat is going to get her diploma next week in a grand ceremony. Hopefully I won't do anything stupid while at it….
DikiCat's computer is dead to the world and as such B2J which is still DikiCat cannot update stories…which really suck because come on, I have like a ton of ideas and it's just not fair, I mean I could put it down in a notebook but I hate to do so.
But, alas, I must suffer for my art and for your pleasure.
Rock_Junkie and DikiCat loved today's story as it's quite funny, especially Pansy and the bear : )
Hopefully, we'll see you soon.