Here I was lying in my bed, well Miley's bed.
My eyes slowly opened. After first everything was blurry but then I noticed where I was. A smile spread across my face. I looked down to find Miley huddled up against me. She was still sleeping. I leant my head against hers taking in her sent. I stayed like that until I felt her move. She opened up her eyes, which was followed by a yawn.
"Hey." I whispered switching my position so now I was lying on my back.
"Hi." She said blushing bit. She moved the blankets over her protectively as though embarrassed. I smiled at this. We stayed there in awkward silence until I decided to break it.
"Um so what time is it? "I asked not really caring.
"I love you." She said suddenly. She looked nervous and I didn't understand.
"You never answered my question." I said joking. She playfully punched me. "You know I love you too."
"Good." She said cuddling back up to me. "Past relationships I've had have never turned out good at all. I just don't want to lose you."
"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere." I sad giving her kiss on her cheek. I quickly checked the time remembering I had work at 1:00. The clock said that it was 12:45.
"Shit but maybe work will!" I said jumping out of bed. "Shit I don't have any clothes!"
"Enough with the swearing! I'll lend you some sweats. Open up that draw." She said pointing to it. I blushed realizing I had nothing on. I opened the draw and quickly threw on some clothes.
"Okay thanks I'll see you later." I said quickly running back over to Miley kissing her on the lips. She smiled and told me to be careful driving.
"Lillian you're late." My manager said pointing at his watch. I mumbled sorry and went to the bathroom to change into my uniform. I was only three minutes late but whatever.
Work went by slow as usual. Listening to people complain that their meal was horrible got annoying after awhile. I just wish I could have been with Miley right now.
"Lillian, it's time for your break." He said. He followed me to the break room, I felt a little uncomfortable.
"Um I think I can make it on my own." I said slowly. He laughed at this.
"Don't worry Lillian, I just need to talk to you about your future." He said pushing me into the break room.
"Oh right what about it? Am I being fired because that was my first time being later ever and it was only three minutes?" I said feeling annoyed.
"No, no it's not that. It's about college. They sent this to your work by accident." He said handing me an envelope. I quickly opened the envelope I realized this was from the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I opened the letter quickly and smiled after seeing you have been accepted... I slowly read the rest of the letter over three times not believing what it said. I had a full scholarship to play basketball! I couldn't believe it. I stood there in shock before jumping up and down. I even hugged my manager.
"Lilly, calm down! I'll fire you!" My manager said looking around. People were looking over at us giving us strange looks.
"That's okay because I quit." I said smiling. I ripped off my nametag and left the restaurant. I decided to go over to Miley's and tell her the good news. I haven't really talked to her about college yet. I haven't really thought about college. I heard back from a few schools around Malibu. I never dreamed of getting a scholarship. The only way I could attend there is if I got a scholarship.
"Hey." I said being greeted by Miley.
"Hey what are you doing here?" She asked sounding curios. She let me in. It looked as though she was having dinner. "Want any?"
"No thanks." I said as I sat down at her kitchen table. I watched he begin to eat. I suddenly felt nervous. Massachusetts was far away. College lasted four years, what was going to happen to our relationship?
"Is something wrong?" She asked finally. I slowly nodded my head not quite sure if something was wrong. "I knew something was the moment you came in. What's going on?"
"I've been accepted to Umass Amherst." I said slowly. I watched her eyes star at the floor it looked as though she was in deep thought.
"Oh well you can't afford to go there right?" She said hopefully. I became a little mad at this. Shouldn't she be happy for me? Then again I never told her how badly I wanted to go there.
"I always wanted to go there..." I said slowly hoping she'd get the hint.
"Well it cost a lot, I don't think you can afford it. You don't want to pay off all of these loans after you graduate college." She said as though she was trying to convince me not to go. This got me even more angry.
"I know, but you see I applied for a scholarship..." I began to say before getting cut off. I watched her frown more at these words. She stood there looking as though she was thinking.
"What's going to happen to us?" She whispered. "It's never going to work out Lillian. You'll be in college for four years in Massachusetts, that's so far away."
I became even more nervous when she used my full name. That wasn't a good sign. "Well I was thinking I'd come back for all the breaks. Plus we'd have summer together and that's a long time."
"Won't people get suspicious when we start hanging out?" She asked. Maybe now was the time to ask her about coming out.
"Um well I was thinking, well of course after a little while, we can come out." I said watching Miley carefully. Her face expression didn't change it just seemed to get worse. "Well like of course not now. But after I come back how about spring break? We can hang out I'll be 19 by then, and then we'll slowly come out to people. Of course our families and close friends first. We can make this work."
"Lilly, we can't just tell people." She said looking shocked at my idea. "People will know we had a thing while you were in high school. Plus no one can accept us, I don't want them thinking I'm a...I'm a..."
"You're a what? Lesbian? Miley you are, so am I. You need to accept it, I learned how to." I said worrying a bit.
"But I'm not! I only like you. No other girl, just you." Miley said raising her voice. I cringed at the word like. I thought Miley loved me, not just liked me.
"Miley, I love you. Don't you love me?" I ask feeling my eyes tear up. She stood there not answering me. "Miley...answer me."
"I...I just don't know anymore Lillian." She said slowly. There she goes again, Lillian. Her eyes were starting to tear up, she turned away to face the wall instead of me. I felt like I was going to puke. "It's never going to work out, you and me. I can't Lilly, I just can't. I'm going to marry a man, and have kids the normal way. I'm not going to have people treat me like dirt. Lilly I'm not like this, I don't know what I was ever thinking. I'm sorry we're over."
I stood there, not believing what she said. I felt tears now rolling of my cheeks. "I can stay here, with you. We never have to tell anyone."
"Lillian, please go. I'm sorry don't do this to yourself. You're young, you don't know how you feel." Miley said before I cut her off.
"Don't you ever fucking tell me what I do and don't feel." I whispered angrily. I was two inches away from her face." I love you, and I always will."
"I can't believe were graduating Lilly!" Jake said tugging on my robe excitedly as we listened to people's names getting called up to receive their diploma.
"I know isn't it great." I said trying to sound happy. I couldn't help but glance over at Ms. Stewart, I was now back to her teacher name. I couldn't help but wonder why she was looking back at me. I haven't talked to her since we broke up. I don't think I'll ever get over her.
Lillian Truscott
"That's you Lilly!" Jake said. I slowly stood up. I slowly walked up to the stage. Everyone was clapping, but I couldn't hear anything. Everything was happening in slow motion. I watched my mom give me thumbs up. I wish I could be happy, but I couldn't. I think Ms. Stewart noticed to, she gave me fake smile which I didn't return. I walked up the stairs to the stage and received my diploma from my principle.
After I hugged people and said goodbye. I told Jake I'd see him later. Amber had already taken off. She wasn't going to college. But with her boyfriend who just got out of jail. I wished her the best knowing that her life was going to be horrible. I told my mother I'd meet her at the house in a bit. I slowly walked to my car and just stood outside it.
"Lillian." a voice said. I turned around to see Ms. Stewart. Why can't she leave me alone?
"What do you want?" I asked miserably.
"I just want to say good luck in college." She said plainly. My last hopes had dropped at those words. It's not like I wanted her to push me against my car and kiss me.
"Thanks, I ought to get going." I said getting into my car. She nodded.
I drove away thinking this would be the last time I would see her. But I was very wrong.
Sorry for not updating but I really had no time. I'll try this weekend hopefully. And don't worry this still has a way to go. Keep up the great reviews