19
Shuttered Hearts

The days passed peacefully. There were enough chores to keep Kaoru and Kenshin busy from dawn to dark, and then they retired to the house for dinner, a bath, and a few quiet hours before the fire.

It was on one such cool summer evening that a priest from the town, Kazuo, came to call.

Kaoru felt the color rise in her cheeks as she opened the door and saw the holy man standing on the porch.

"Kazuo-sama," she greeted, conscious of her swollen belly. "I…how nice to see you again."

"Good evening, Kaoru-san," Kazuo replied formally. He was young for a priest, and his kindly brown eyes darted to her stomach and quickly slipped away.

The news that Kaoru had returned, pregnant and alone, had been spreading when she could no longer hide the fact that she was carrying a child with carefully-arranged clothing. He said, "I heard you were back, and I wanted to come by and bid you welcome home, and offer you my condolences on the loss of your uncle."

"Thank you," Kaoru murmured.

"I would have come by sooner, but I've been away," he added.

"Oh?"

"My father passed away and I went home to comfort my mother and attend the funeral."

"I'm sorry."

Kazuo nodded. "Would you mind if I came in for a few moments?"

Kaoru hesitated. Kenshin was inside, and there was no way for him to leave without being seen. Not that she was ashamed of him--far from it--but he was wanted by the law for killing Kamishi, and the fewer people who knew of his presence here, the better.

"Is something wrong?" Kazuo asked.

"No, I…please come in."

Kazuo stepped inside, his eyes growing wide as he saw Kenshin standing near the fireplace. His mouth dropped open was he stared at the Wild Boy dressed in the shirt Kaoru had made for him and deer hide leggings. His long red hair was tied back in its usual loose ponytail, and not seen the comb this day, and was as wild over his face as ever. There was no mistaking him for anything other than what he was.

There was an awkward silence as the two men sized each other up. Kazuo could not hide his shock in seeing a dragoner in Kaoru's house, but if seeing Kenshin left him slightly dazed, Kaoru's next words left him speechless.

"Kazuo-sama, this is my husband, Kenshin. Kenshin, this is our town's priest, Kazuo."

Kenshin met the holy man's gaze, his hands clenched a little at his sides. What had possessed Kaoru to invite the man into the house? It could cause nothing but trouble.

"Won't you sit down?" she asked the priest.

"What? Oh, yes, thank you." He sank down and looked at Kaoru. "Where…when…" He cleared his throat.

"How long have you been married?"

"Over a year."

The young priest nodded absently. "Please don't misunderstand my question, but where did you find a priest who would marry the two of you?"

"We didn't." Kaoru lifted her chin defiantly. "Kenshin and I exchanged our own vows."

"I see."

"You don't approve?"

"Such a marriage is not legally binding. Nor will it be recognized. Surely you know that your child will be considered a bas--" He bit off the word and shot a wary look in Kenshin's direction.

"A bastard." Kenshin spoke the word through tight lips.

"Yes."

"I think you should go now," Kenshin said. His face was dark with anger and his eyes were glowing with rage. He didn't like this man coming here to insult his woman.

"Please," Kazuo said, extending his hand in a gesture of conciliation. "Hear me out. I didn't not mean to offend you. But you must realize that your…alliance will never be accepted." He looked steadfastly at Kaoru. "The townspeople will be shocked when they've learned you've given yourself to a Wild Person. The women will shun you, and the men…" He glanced briefly at Kenshin, wondering if he dared to go on.

"I don't care," Kaoru snapped. "I love Kenshin. I'm proud to be carrying his child. Let people talk."

Kazuo's gaze drifted to the fire. He had always been fond of Kaoru. He had known her since she had been brought into Iyo from the orphanage, and in all that time he had never known her to be happy. Her aunt and uncle had treated her shamefully, never allowing her to mingle with people her own age, keeping her so busy on the ranch that she never had time for fun, never had the opportunity to meet any of the fine young men who lived nearby. And now she was in love with a Wild Boy. For the first time since he had known her, she looked happy. He had not missed the way her eyes glowed when she looked at Kenshin, had not missed the pride in her voice when she introduced him as her husband.

Kazuo cleared his throat, then stood up. What he was about to suggest could cost him, but in his heart, he knew it was the right thing to do, for Kaoru, for the child, and perhaps for the Wild Boy as well.

"Kaoru-san, have you ever considered being married in a legal ceremony?"

"Of course I have," Kaoru answered quietly.

"Yes, well, I would be willing to perform the ceremony."

Kaoru was suddenly speechless. She whirled to face Kenshin, her face aglow. She had never mentioned that she had ever wanted a proper ceremony to him, had never admitted to herself that it was important. But it was, and now there was a way to do it. She would be Kenshin's wife in the laws of all their people; her child would never have to bear the stigma of being thought a bastard.

Her smile faded when she saw the expression on Kenshin's face.

Kazuo saw it too. "Perhaps the two of you would like a few minutes alone to discuss it. If it's all right, I'll just step into the kitchen."

Kaoru nodded. "Thank you."

When they were alone, Kaoru took Kenshin's hand in hers. "Would you mind terribly if we were married by the priest?"

"You're already my wife," Kenshin said. "I don't need this ceremony, or his approval."

She ran her tongue across her lips, wondering the full truth of her next sentence. "I need it."

"It's important to you, to be married in the New People's way?" She bit her lip, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. She asked so little of him. He couldn't deny her this if it was important to her. Besides, though he didn't like to think on it, his child would still have deep roots with her people. Bastards weren't looked on favorably among his own people either. She was already his wife. Being married to her a second time would really do no harm.

"Very well, Beloved. We'll let the priest perform his ceremony. Tonight, if that's your wish."

She so joyfully kissed him, he knew he couldn't regret the decision.

There were usually more "proper" places to hold weddings, such as the shrine, but their home would have to do. They only needed the willing priest and the words that would bind them by the New People's law. The moment passed swiftly, a wisp of magic, and then it was over, broken by a long kiss, and then Kazuo clearing his throat, embarrassed to be intruding on such an intimate moment.

"I'll take care of the paperwork when I get back to town," he told Kaoru when she tore her eyes from Kenshin's face. "And I'll bring your marriage license with me next time I come."

"Thank you, Kazuo-sama," Kaoru said fervently. "You've been very kind. But then, you've always treated me with kindness and respect. I want you to know how much I appreciated it then and now."

Kazuo took Kaoru's hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "Be happy, Child."

"I will be, thank you. Oh!" she exclaimed. "I haven't paid you."

The priest chuckled. "There's no need."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite sure. Good night."

Kaoru stood at the door until the priest was gone and then she went to stand beside her husband. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No. How long have you known the priest?"

"As long as I can remember. Why?"

"Is he in love with you?"

"In love with me? Why would you think such thing?"

"Because of the way he looks at you."

"You're imagining things."

"Perhaps." Kenshin put his arms around her. "Or perhaps not. I guess it's hardly your fault if everyone loves you, my Kaoru. But you're mine." His hands slid down her arms and then up again.

She lifted her face, closing her eyes as his mouth slanted over hers, his lips warm and achingly familiar.

Kenshin slipped one arm around her waist and the other under her knees and then was carrying her swiftly into the bedroom, placing her on the bed, stretching out beside her.

He kissed her face and throat, her arms and hands, her hair and nose and eyes, and all the while he was kissing her his hands were deftly unfastening her obi, brushing the cloth covering her aside, muttering under his breath that New Women wore clothes that were too complicated.

She felt his hand on her belly, opened her eyes to see him staring down at her, his eyes warm with love, awed by the mystery of what their love had created, growing inside her. Their child gave a lusty kick, and Kenshin chuckled.

"The pup is restless," he remarked. "Does he ever hurt you?"

Kaoru shook her head. "No. Every kick tells me that he's strong and healthy, like his father."

"I'm weak when I'm in your arms," Kenshin said with a grin. "Yours to do with as you please."

Kaoru smiled, warmed by his words. "It would please very much if you would kiss me."

"All night long, if that's what you want."

"All night long, then," Kaoru said, opening her arms for him. "All night long…"

News of Kaoru's Wild Boy husband spread quickly through the town. The majority of the people were shocked and disgusted at the mere idea of a decent, well-bred girl like Kaoru living with a savage from the higher lands. The idea of ever marrying a Wild Person was unheard of in Iyo.

Kaoru knew there would be people who would shun her, who would never accept Kenshin, but she had been certain Kazuo had been exaggerating about how bad things would be until she went into town for supplies. Women crossed the street to avoid her, men leered at her, their eyes filled with lusty speculation, and if Kenshin had seen, she would have been hard-pressed to keep his sword safely in its sheath.

She was on the verge of tears from these indignations when she entered the general store. She clenched her fists at her sides as Nara came toward her, ready to burst if the woman so much as looked at her the wrong way.

But Nara was a good, decent woman who held the unpopular opinion all men and women were equal in the sight of their Maker. She gave Kaoru a brilliant smile of welcome as she took her list, chatted about inconsequential things as she filled her order.

Kaoru tried to hide her tears when she returned home, but of course she couldn't hide much from Kenshin. He remained silent until she had put their supplies away and then he took her in his arms. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Her voice was thick with unshed tears and she refused to meet his eyes.

"Is it so bad that you can't tell me?"

"Oh, Kenshin--what business is it of theirs who my husband is!"

Kenshin held her throughout her outburst and then the little drizzle of angry tears that followed it, his face dark with his own anger mingled with regret that her love for him would cause her even a moment's pain. He had known her people wouldn't receive him. The hate, the differences, the inability to understand, it just ran too deep. But he couldn't understand how anyone could treat Kaoru unkindly. She was the soul of goodness, the epitome of what a woman should be.

He held on until the tears subsided, and then he drew away, his eyes thoughtful. "Are you certain you want to stay here, Beloved? Wouldn't it be better to go back to the hills, or even back to our canyon, maybe, where there is no one to belittle our love?"

Kaoru stubbornly shook her head. "This is my home. Our home. I'm not leaving. I won't let a bunch of narrow-minded ninnies drive me away."

He didn't argue, knowing anything he said would only make her more determined to stay.

"Anyway, not everyone is against us. Nara and her husband are coming over for dinner tomorrow night. They want to meet you."

Nara felt a twinge of nervousness as she alighted from the carriage and walked up to the porch. She had never seen a Wild Boy before and she wasn't sure he wanted to see one now. But Kaoru needed to know that not everyone in town thought badly of her. After all, the girl had done nothing wrong except fall in love, and if she wanted to marry a dragoner, why, that was her business and no one else's. Personally, Nara couldn't understand how anyone could love one of those savage Wild People. They were all barbarians, ruthless killers, and the world was more peaceful and safe when they kept to themselves in the higher lands.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Miki asked his wife as they stood at the front door.

"I don't know, but it's too late to turn back now. Smile, Miki." Nara beamed as Kaoru opened the door and invited them in. The two women embraced, and then she was introducing them to Kenshin.

Nara couldn't help staring at Kaoru's husband. She had been expecting something bigger and more…rugged. But no, the young man before her was small and slender and beautiful in an smooth, elven sort of way. He had the most beautiful long hair of a shade of red she had never before seen and large, alert violet eyes.

He wasn't good at small talk, but sat quietly as Nara, Miki, and Kaoru reminisced about Shiji and then chatted about the changes taking place in town. He said little during the meal that Kaoru served, but Nara was quick to see his eyes stayed often to Kaoru. He might be considered a savage by others of her kind, but Nara was touched by the depths of love that shone in Kenshin's eyes when he looked at his wife, and decided that, Wild Boy or not, he was a good man.

Later, she was impressed by his manners, with the respect he showed Kaoru, the politeness of his answers when Miki questioned him about the drake people's way of life. Though they were New People, he treated them as welcome guests in his wife's home and when they left, Nara could understand why Kaoru loved him.

Kenshin slid out of bed, pulled on his leggings, and left the house. Outside, it was cool and dark. A bright yellow moon hung low in the sky. A stalking moon, Kenshin thought, and remembered the many nights like this when his sister would take him hunting, just the two of them in the dark after nocturnal game, where she taught him how different the world was in the dark.

Standing in the moon-dappled shadows, he looked at the house where Kaoru lay sleeping, then let his eyes wander to the barn and the corrals, to the garden that was blooming under her expert care, to the surrounding darkness, and the silhouette of the distant mountains. What was he doing here, he mused, living in a house, taking his meals at a table, sleeping on soft mattress held up off the floor, beneath eiderdown quilts? He had abandoned the floor because it was too hard for Kaoru now and he couldn't bear sleeping apart from her any longer. Why had he…well, abandoned the ways of his people?

His eyes returned to the dark house. Why? he mused. Why, indeed. Because of a blue-eyed woman who had stolen his heart and captured his soul, who ruled his life with silken chains that he could not have broken even if he desired to. She had become a part of him, a vital, irreplaceable part. He would perish without her, first his soul, then his body. He had no desire to live if he couldn't share his life with her. He knew that, deep in her heart, Kaoru lived with the fear that he would leave, go back to the fighting, when their child was born. The pull toward his homeland was strong, but he knew that he would never willingly be parted from her.

He took a deep breath and let it out, puffing out his cheeks with the force of it. Was there not a way he could protect his people and keep this great happiness? Was he asking for too much?

What was right? What?