Oh my goodness, thank you all so much for your amazing reviews! I just can't get over them. You are all so lovely and so beautiful. And thank you to all the kids who have made this story a favourite or have pressed that oh so brilliant 'story alert' button. This is just incredible. SO. This chapter. I really wanted to get Brittany's feelings across in the most personal way anyone can, and I truly believe letters are the windows to our souls. So here you go. Enjoy!

Dear Santana,

Earlier this year, Will and Renata were studying Oscar Wilde at school and whilst their interest was barely acceptable (I'm sorry, San but you know how hard it is for me to motivate our children when I have absolutely zero interest in what they are doing either) we did stumble across a rather beautiful saying he once wrote.

'I love you.

You are more to me than anything in the whole world.'

This could not be truer, soldier.

I am so proud of you. I am so proud of us. 7 months we've gone without seeing each other. The medal you receive at the end of this time will be the symbol of our strength as a couple. Not many couples can hold out for that long. We're different, San. We're one in a million.

So many people could stray in 7 months. But not you and I. I could never do that to you purely because I don't ever want to. The thought of touching someone else makes me shiver so bad and it's not the same shiver I get when you touch me. If I hurt you in any way I would only be killing myself. So I have always known that we could do this - that we have done it... nearly.

The end of January is looming closer and I could not be happier. 4 more weeks, San! It seems so long ago when we left you at the airport at the beginning of June. At most, we'd only ever been apart 2 or 3 months at a time and I just couldn't get my head round not seeing you for 8 months. 8, San. That's so long. I remember coming home and collapsing on the sofa in tears so I could get them out the way before the kids got home from school. And when I got to our room, there was that damn note you'd left.

The first time you ever said, 'Forever, B.'

And Renata got home and she didn't even say hello. She went straight upstairs and I didn't see her until breakfast the next day. I cried every night those first two weeks and I kept thinking how weak I was. How stupid and pathetic I was being because there was you, in a country you hardly knew, fighting for your life and battling with everyone else's and I was crying because I didn't have someone lying next to me at night.

But it wasn't just anyone. You're not a 'someone', Santana, you're my life. You, like Oscar Wilde wrote, are more to me than anything in this whole entire world. Every moment of every day, I wonder how you're doing and whether you're okay. And every morning, I wake up and the first things I think of is are you alive? Did you make it through the night? Do I have to prepare myself for something I will never be able to prepare myself for?

We've got so far, San, and when those thoughts suffocate me in the mornings, I feel the most massive weight being pressed into my chest and pushing me further and further into the ground, until I can't breathe and I have to get up and lay with Ellie for a while. Just to remind myself that I have things to live for.

I have laughing at Pervy every time he sits on top of the shower to live for. I have opening my phone to call someone and seeing your beautiful face sticking out your tongue at me as my background to live for. I have rolling over in the middle of the night and glimpsing our wedding photo that sits on your bedside cabinet to live for.

I have our children to live for. Will, who is so kind and such a gentleman. Will, who gets up earlier than the rest of us to make us all tea and a hot chocolate for little Ellie. Will, who cooks dinner with me every single night and clears up everything he uses afterwards, without ever being asked. Baby Ellie, who comes and cuddles me because she knows when I'm sad and when I wish you were home more than ever. Baby Ellie, who likes to lick the spoon of the cake batter we just made one Sunday afternoon. Baby Ellie, who tells me every day how much fun her Mama is having chasing down all the bad guys in War Country, and how cool her Mama looks in khaki overalls. And I have Renata. Renata, who has the most adorable smile I have ever laid eyes upon. Renata, who has eyes that sparkle when she sees something fascinating or exciting or beautiful. Renata, who calls me Mommy because she can't help feeling like a little girl again, without you.

And I have You to live for. You, who is my world, my life, my everything.

Oh, San... You are so brave doing what you are doing. I need you to fight so hard out there, always, at every single second of every single minute. Because back home, more than anyone else, Renata needs her Mama again. You promised me you'd be as safe as you could and I know it's mostly out of your control but all I ask is that you try. Try and keep safe until January 18th. Please.

You know, sometimes I lay there in our bed and I look out of our big glass windows and just watch the world - watch the city flash it's lights out to the universe, reminding everyone everywhere that New York is a powerful city caring and providing for powerful people. Powerful people like you, San.

I got out the box of all your letters to me on Christmas Eve. We went from being really sappy, to really matter of fact, to really plain, to really boring, to really crazy, to really exciting and to really painful, sweet nothings and back to really sappy again. Sappy and painful. It was somewhat hard at the start, and it got better in the middle. And now it's just awful. The last month was always going to be like that though, wasn't it? It's like this never ending bend in the road and I know you're going to be just around the corner but I simply can't see you yet. But I can feel you and that's the most important thing.

I woke up this morning in Renata's bed. Ellie was snuggled deep beside me and next to her lay your beautiful Tee, Will's arms wrapped protectively around her. It was the most perfect thing and I really wish you had been there to witness it, join in and take a picture!

I started work again this morning. They needed me to choreograph for a new musical Come Again, Riley. (The one Kurt wrote and Blaine wrote the songs for). It's about this girl, Riley, who goes off around the world in search of love and on the journey she meets four different men and she has to decide which of them is her soul mate or whether one of the countries she visits is really the place her soul belongs to. I won't tell you what she chooses because I want to take you and the kids when you're home. The best part is you'll never guess who Kurt's got playing Riley! None other than Rachel Berry! My face, when I turned up at the studios and there she was, ready for the dance moves. I felt so rude because my eyes were nearly popping out of my head.

But she's changed, San. She's so quiet and so reserved. Like she's really sad about something.

What happened to us all when we left Ohio?

Quinn phoned earlier to say that she was now living in New York and could she pop over to see us. I had to explain that you weren't here and was she living with Puck. She then told me they had split up and Puck was still living in Florida (apparently his pool business is rocketing off the roof) and she hated him more than she'd hated Shelby back in Senior year.

I don't understand, San. The last time we saw Quinn and Puck, they were madly in love, living in Florida with their daughter. What can go so wrong? She didn't say much else to me but I'll update you when I next speak to you.

Renata and Will have taken Ellie out to play in the snow whilst Quinn is here. She'll be here in ten minutes or so. I wish you were here with me.

I miss you, San. I miss the way you would always wrap an arm over me if I ever woke up in the middle of the night. I miss when we both had our days off and we would send the kids off to school and spend the rest of the day in bed. You would lie on your stomach, sharpie pen in hand, doodling random patterns all over my bare back which were mostly love hearts and 'I love you's'. I miss how you would sneakily surprise me when I was in the shower by hopping in behind me and offering to shampoo my hair for me.

It usually turned a little hotter than that; you never failed in making my skin burn hotter than the shower water. You could always set fire to the rain.

Know that I am always thinking of you out there. There is never a moment of any day or night where I don't think of you. Like I said, you are my world. You are everything to me and without you, I am nothing. Our family is nothing and the life we have built for ourselves is nothing. You are the ribbon that ties and holds us all together. When you're gone, this family is so incomplete we are like nests without eggs. Christmas trees without decorations. Cakes without frosting. Wine without alcohol.

Without you, we don't make sense.

I can't wait to see you in January, so we can start making sense again.

I hope you like your Christmas present. Renata took it yesterday and edited last night so we put it in one of the frames we keep in the downstairs drawer for you. We miss you.

I love you so much, soldier. Remember that. And I am so proud of you. We all are. All of us - all of the time.

Forever, San.

Brittany

I hope that wasn't too heartbreaking for you all. Next chapter introduces a familiar character and her crazy, mental daughter. Thank you to the reviewer who told me some troops don't get to speak to their loved ones on Christmas day. I did not know that; that's horrible. I guess the Brittana family were one of the lucky ones! Please, I'd really love to know, who is your favourite character? Including the gleeks because I'm not sure if my characterisation is correct? Many thanks and please review if you can! Poppy x