Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been able to get this done by Halloween :( I feel terrible! Literally, I'm sick. I've had my School Certificate and I've been studying and now I got a crappy cold. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that good and if there are mistakes, I don't think I'm aware enough to change anything :(
Oh well, enjoy the second last chapter! Yes the next chapter is the last :( It makes me tear-abled.
Their ears perked up and they all put their heads on the top of the roof, listening hard.
"Why thank you Tatsuki!" exclaimed a young, beautiful, innocent voice underneath them. "I think it turned out pretty well."
"You got that right, you look so smexy!" laughed another girl.
"Ooh there's a quiz in the Karakura Times "Halloween Edition"!" cried out another voice. "'Are you the perfect Vampire Bride?' That's convenient."
"Read it out Momo," came the young, beautiful, innocent voice again.
She cleared her throat and began to read, "What's your blood type?"
"AB."
The vampires grinned at each other.
"What is your hair length: long," she answered the question for her. "Body shape: waay too curvy! Intelligence?"
"Third in the class," contributed the first girl called Tatsuki.
"Bossy?" Momo continued. "No way! A good cook…?"
There was silence as the men strained to hear the answer, Gin checking off the requirements on the list.
"Of course I am!" exclaimed the young, beautiful, innocent voice.
"Err yess," Momo muttered. "Reads books, likes to travel and throw parties?"
"Check, check and check," she replied while Gin did so on his list.
"Do you enjoy coronations?"
"What kind of a question is that?" snapped the second girl.
"Oh I love all the jewels and the clothes and the ceremony!" the possible Vampire Bride enthused.
"And the men in uniform," the other girl teased.
"Aah destroy sparkly vampires descended from fairies?"
"You mean the Cullens?" Tatsuki asked.
"Ooh definitely! They're so annoying!"
"And finally-"
Gin, Kaname, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra and Grimmjow strained to hear the last and most important part of the requirements.
"Do you like giving taxes?"
"Umm no not really."
They all drooped, that was what Aizen really wanted.
"Well you got a full Vampire Bride!" congratulated Momo. "Although the fail in the taxes question reduced your percentage by 40% however, you still rock the part!"
"Yaay!" all the girls cried.
"Well then, Miss Orihime Inoue, Vampire Bride of Dracula," said the yet-to-be-unnamed girl. "I believe we shall head off to the Kurosaki Medical Clinic for our party!"
The girls filed out of the room and downstairs, their muffled laughter ringing in the air above the vampires who looked thoroughly depressed (or in Ulquiorra's case, more than usual).
"I guess we haven't found her after all," sighed Kaname.
"Are you kidding me?" yelled Grimmjow. "We just found the perfect girl, who cares about a stupid tax, she's the closest we're gonna get!"
"He's got a point," added Nnoitra. "I mean who's gonna know really."
"She might change later on," agreed Ulquiorra.
"So it's settled then!" exclaimed Gin, jumping up and fist-pumping the air. "We shall all go to the Kurosaki Medical Clinic, find this Orihime Inoue, and take her back to be Aizen's future bride!"
"Yeah!" they all cried, also jumping up and fist-pumping. And promptly falling off the roof having forgotten they were all standing on the edge.
The five vampires walked up to a small building ablaze with bright lights, covered in Halloween decorations, and throbbing with loud music.
"This it?" asked Grimmjow dubiously.
"Seeing as it says "Kurosaki Family Clinic" yes I would say it is," retorted Ulquiorra.
He shrugged, "If you say so."
"Now what? Do we just go in?" questioned Nnoitra.
"Yup!" exclaimed Gin, walking straight up to the door and barging inside before anyone could stop him.
"That idiot," sighed Kaname, following him with the others.
They were inside what looked to be a family room filled with decorations and dancing people wearing costumes.
A girl in a nurse costume sidled up to Grimmjow, swinging her hips suggestively.
"Hi there sugar, lookin' for a good time?" she asked in a deep, manly voice.
"Why does your voice sound like a man's?" Grimmjow asked.
"What are you talkin' about, I am a man!"
Grimmjow turned white and fell face-splat into the floor. The "girl" shrugged and walked away.
"Hey look there's a man in a dress!" exclaimed Nnoitra, before suddenly pausing and realising what he had just seen. "A man…in a…dress…"
"Gin," Kaname whispered in Gin's ear. "Let's find this girl and go before they start having aneurisms."
Gin nodded and started looking around.
"This is ridiculous," stated Ulquiorra. "How are we going to find this girl, we don't even know what she looks like?"
"Orihime! You are such a beautiful, young, innocent, Vampire Bride that isn't afraid of a bit of blood, loves coronations, travelling, and has blood type AB!" cried a voice near the back of the room.
All the vampires turned their heads to wear a very beautiful, young and innocent-looking girl with long, orange hair and sparkly grey eyes in a big white wedding dress covered in blood stood.
"Why thank you Rukia," she said happily to a small girl in a bunny costume.
"Found her!" exclaimed a regenerated Grimmjow, pointing to her.
"Great job Sherlock!" congratulated Nnoitra mockingly. "Now why don't you go and tell her to come with us."
"Woah there's no way I'm doing that!" he cried, raising his hands defensively. "You do it!"
"Ain't no way I'm going in there and talking to some chick," Nnoitra replied. "Gin should do it, he's the leader."
"Why do these things always come back to me?" sighed Gin, rolling his eyes, or what could be seen of them. "I'm no good at talking, Kaname's better at it. You do it."
"But-"
"Do it." he ordered threateningly.
Gulping, Kaname walked up to where the vampire bride was talking to her friends.
"Ahem," he cleared his throat. No one looked at him. "Ahem," he coughed a bit louder. "YO!" he yelled.
The entire room went quiet and everyone stared at him. He gulped.
"Right, OK then. Umm, you!" he pointed at the vampire bride. "Are you Orihime Inoue?"
"Uhh yes."
"Come with us now."
"Excuse me?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"Hey what's going on here?" asked an orange-haired man wearing a long black robe. "Rukia did you invite random gangsters again?"
"No I did not, Ichigo!" snapped the girl in the bunny costume. "They're looking for Orihime."
"Well don't look at me!" cried Orihime waving her hands about. "I've never seen them before in my life!"
"We have orders to take you with us now in the name of justice!" announced Kaname.
"Say what?" asked Rukia, Ichigo and Orihime.
"Oh move over and let the professionals handle this," Gin pushed Kaname aside. "What he's trying to say very unsuccessfully is that we have been ordered by our Vampire Lord, Lord Aizen, to find him a bride that fits a set of requirements. You fit them nearly perfectly, and so we would like to bring you back to our castle where you can marry Lord Aizen and become his Vampire Bride."
Everyone stared at them.
"Have they had too much to drink or something?" asked a man with black hair and glasses in a strange white and blue outfit.
"Uhh-" began Orihime but was suddenly interrupted.
"Gin?" cried a busty blonde girl in a Catwoman costume.
"Rangiku?" he asked looking stunned.
"Gin?"
"Rangiku?
"Gin!"
"Rangiku!"
"WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP AND TELL US WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" cried Grimmjow.
"Uuh," muttered Gin turning red.
"I'm his girlfriend!" announced Rangiku.
"Oh man," sighed Nnoitra.
"You're with a human?" exclaimed Kaname.
"Ooh someone's in trouble," chuckled Ulquiorra evilly. Everyone stared at him. "What? I'm allowed to find things amusing once in a while!"
"What do you mean "a human"?" Rangiku snapped then turned to Gin. "And you told me you couldn't come!"
"Well it turns out I could, happy Halloween sweetheart!" he exclaimed hugging her.
"Oh really? Well I'm glad you could make it, even if you did bring your friends," she glared at them over his shoulder causing them to shuffle away slowly.
"Wait a minute, I thought you guys were taking me away to your lord or something?" asked Orihime, putting her hands on her hips.
"What? you asked her to come with you but not me?" gasped Rangiku.
"Nooo I would never do that-it's not what you think!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, look I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time but, I'm a vampire, see," he grinned and showed her his pointer teeth.
"They're plastic ones you got for Halloween," she told him practically.
"No, urgh I'm not saying this right," he put his head in his hands and then looked back up at her. "Oowooaahwooaahwooaahh," he began singing. "Oowooaahwooaahwooaahh."
Suddenly Grimmjow pulled out a guitar, Nnoitra pulled out a pair of bongo drums, Kaname pulled out a flute, and Ulquiorra pulled out a triangle, and began playing a suspiciously familiar tune.
"I know you love me, I know you care," Gin sang while his backup played. "I know you feel me, when I'm not there. And we will never ever ever be apart and I was like: Baby-"
"You're drunk aren't you?" Rangiku interrupted as he started doing the heart sign with his hands. The instruments stopped, except for Ulquiorra who kept dejectedly playing his triangle.
"What?"
"Are you high?"
"No never! I will Never Say Never to drugs, yes I'm high-" he cut off as she grabbed his ear and pulled him towards the bathroom. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow!"
"That was…weird," stated Ichigo, looking thoroughly confused. "Would you shut that thing up?" he yelled at Ulquiorra who was still playing the triangle.
The said man glared at him and hit it defiantly one last time before putting it away.
"Ahem, yes," coughed Kaname, hurriedly hiding his flute. "Anyway, Miss Inoue, we would like you to come with us back to our palace of Los Noches where you will be married to Lord Aizen and become his Vampire Bride."
"No." she said briskly. "I will not just be pulled away to go marry some guy I don't know even if you are all on drugs."
Kaname turned around and shrugged at the other three vampires. With a sigh, Ulquiorra pushed him aside, "Let me handle this," and stood in front of Orihime, looking straight at her.
"Do not ask any questions, do not say anything. You have no rights. This is not a negotiation, it is an order. Come with me, girl."
"Oh," she blinked. "Well I guess when you say it like that, OK."
"Really?" he asked, looking surprised.
"Sure thing triangle man!"
"Hahaha!" Nnoitra and Grimmjow pointed at him, laughing in their maniacal, yet strangely infectious way.
"Shut up." He told them.
"Well we may as well get going, Aizen will be expecting us soon," said Kaname. "GIN!"
The bathroom door opened and a very dazed Gin with soaking wet hair stumbled out with a silly grin on his face.
"Wee," he said lightly.
Rangiku appeared at the door, looking flushed, "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"You got it!" he saluted in a drunken manner and marched towards the door.
Kaname rolled his eyes, "Someone help him. Ulquiorra, you take the girl."
Ulquiorra turned back to an amused Orihime, "Come on then woman," he ordered.
"Okie dokie triangle man."
"Stop that."
She turned around and waved at her friends, "See you all at my wedding!"
"Do you think we should be worried about her?" muttered Uryu to Ichigo.
Ichigo looked at the receding people; a tall, thin, black haired man with funny shoes, a laughing blue-haired maniac carrying a smiling silver-haired man, a blind black man with cornrows, and a short pale-skinned green-eyed emo followed by the skipping vampire bride.
"Naah she'll be fine," he said, waving his hand noncommittally.
Uryu shrugged and looked over at the buffet table.
"Hey who mixed the coffee and wine together in the Chappy Land mugs?"
Yeah, weird ending to a chapter. Sorry I kinda had to end it before I died on the computer. Hope that was OK though.
I'll see you sometimes soonish I hope for the Last. Chapter. EVER! duh duh duuuuuuuuh!
*hugs* -Cerice