Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

A/N: I've been asked about Emmett's sexuality, so I hope this chapter clears it up for you all. Enjoy!

BELLA

The old pub smelled of chicken; a bizarre smell for a pub.

I pushed through the heavy doors and squeaked my shoes against the wooden floor. Alice flurried past me, keenly observing her surroundings, spotting what appeared to be an available table close to the stage, and scooting in; beckoning me to come.

Rose, who was clearly unhappy at being forced to leave the house, shuffled behind me.

'Why is it necessary for both of us to come along to meet prince charming?' she huffed. 'I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy for her, but I don't know why we need to be here. I thought she was trying to be subtle. She's bouncing around like a pogo stick. No-one could miss her even if they tried.'

She was right. Alice was eagerly bouncing around at her designated booth, smiling over at us and pouting when she saw our half-effort smiles.

'Let's just try to get through this as inconspicuously as possible.' I muttered. While the pub had the greatest chicken and mayonnaise sandwiches I've ever tasted, I wasn't in the mood for scouting out boys. Which was worrying, considering my current dry spell. Maybe I was a lesbian.

I needed a beer.

I slid down across from Alice and picked up a menu with no intention of reading it. A petite redhead sidled up to our table, and we ordered. Well, I ordered. Rose had already left for the bar and Alice hadn't removed her eyes from the currently empty stage. I gave an awkward smile to the waitress and ordered 3 chicken mayonnaise toasted sandwiches for all of us.

I clicked my fingers in front of Alice's face as the waitress walked away.

'Alice! Subtle doesn't involve staring longingly at the stage before he's even up there.'

She sighed and glanced at me, 'Oh Bella. You can't even comprehend. I'm in love.'

'Slow down there, Junior', I cautioned. 'Haven't you met this guy once?'

Alice just continued sighing.

'I have no idea how you plan on maintaining subtlety.' I mumbled. Love-struck pixie just glared at me and dismissed my sceptical glance.

While I wasn't against a little bit of romance, I wasn't a romantic like Alice. She was the sort of girl who had their wedding planned since she was seven. In fact, the only thing that had changed was who she planned to nominate as bridesmaids. The love for planning had only been exaggerated with Alice studying event management. Any event, or night out, or party we attended: Alice was there rearranging the design, menu, decorations and seating arrangements until she could deem it perfect.

It was horrific.

I slid out from the booth, concentrating on finding the bathroom before the set started. I walked past the bar to the ladies room. Rose was bent across the counter whispering something in the ear of a cute-looking brawly guy with curly brown hair.

That girl literally couldn't keep her vagina inside pants for more than ten minutes.

This father complex needed to stop.

I raised an eyebrow as I passed her.

She stuck her tongue out in retaliation, like the mature person she was.

I found the bathroom hidden in a corner, and glanced at myself in the mirror. For once, my brown hair had tamed, but the small burn on my arm was becoming increasingly apparent. And ugly.

On my way back to the booth, I walked back past Rose, suspicious to the fact she was still sitting at the bar and not kneeling behind it.

Bar-guy was seemingly providing her with a friendly banter, a beer, but not much else.

I liked this immediately.

Alice had disappeared from our booth, so I went and sat by myself; showing the world just how popular I was.

Slinky-waitress returned with our delicious toasted sandwiches: with only me there to appreciate them.

Now I looked like a lonely loser who was there to eat my feelings.

Fan-bloody-tastic.

Rolling my eyes, I glanced over to see that guitar-boy was setting up his instruments on stage. And Alice perched on the edge.

God, that girl needed to re-learn the meaning of the word 'subtlety'.

I glared at her over my shoulder.

I make the effort to come out, support her, drag Rose along, and end up eating THREE SANDWICHES by myself.

'Got an appetite?'

Brawly-bartender was standing above me with an amused grin on his face.

'Emmett'; he introduced himself.

'Bella.'

'So Bella, look, your friend is extra hot and all, but she tried to jump me at the bar. And while I'm all for it, she sort of hit her head on one of the beer dispenser and knocked herself out.'

I looked up from my meal, not particularly concerned, and continued munching.

'Is she hurt?'

'Well, I don't think so. Just unconscious.'

'Serves her right for being a slut.' I mumbled.

Emmett grinned. 'Coming from the girl who wears a paper-thin jacket to university….'

I inhaled quickly. 'Fuck. You saw that?'

He nodded happily.

'Just to be clear, some dickhead destroyed my shirt with coffee. I didn't have much other choice. The shirt was wet, and smelled horrific. I tried to make it as decent as I could.'

Emmett wiggled his eyebrows. 'Which I imagine would be difficult to do with that scrap of material.'

I glared.

Emmett left out a guffaw. 'You come here often, Bella?'

'A few times,' I responded, 'Mainly with that one sitting over there swooning at tonight's entertainment' I swivelled, pointing at Alice. 'You have good sandwiches.'

'I gathered, considering you've ordered three.'

I glared, causing him to burst into another round of infectious laughter.

'I like you, Bella, come get a beer off me later. And what would you like to do with dear Blondie under the bar?'

'Leave her there?' I suggested, almost hopefully.

I swallowed some lettuce, while he picked up half of my sandwich and bit into it, smiling.

I glared again.

'Do you have a bed or anything upstairs?'

'Sure' he grinned, speaking between mouthfuls of chicken. 'You want me to put her up there?'

'I'll help.' I sighed, pushing my toasted sandwich to the side and standing up. While Emmett seemed like a friendly enough guy, I wasn't about to give him an unconscious Rose and let him take her up to his apartment. I wasn't sure if I was trying to protect him from Rose, or Rose from him, but it seemed like the morally upright thing to do.

God, I was such a good person.

I followed Emmett's overwhelmingly large figure and peeked over the bar.

Sure enough, Miss Rosalie Hale of California was sprawled across the floor like the classy lady we knew she was.

He hitched her up over his muscled shoulder, and gestured for me to follow him around the side of the bar, through a door that was clearly marked with a 'NO ENTRY' sign, and up a carpeted, creaky staircase.

I started to think this may have been the perfect place to invite victims for sexual abuse, but as Emmett unlocked one of the two doors at the top of the stairs, it became apparent that this was the home of a boy-who-never-quite-matured, not a serial rapist.

I took in the poorly put-together apartment: large olive green sofa, a plasma screen TV, a selection of playboy magazines scattered across the coffee table, a cluttered kitchen, and an empty packet of chips next to the sofa.

I had entered the haven of the heterosexual bachelor.

I walked down the hallway, which held a picture of Emmett with what appeared to be his mother and father, and a homemade card from a little girl called Lily.

I got the end of the hallway and entered the bedroom, where Rose was still passed out stone cold on Emmett's bed, which was appropriately unmade. The room smelled like male, as if he'd peed on the bookcase and bedside table to claim it as his. Emmett was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at Rose with an expression of fascination.

Which was no surprise. You could see more skin than you could clothes on that girl.

I cleared my throat.

Emmett didn't even have the audacity to look bashful. Instead, he grinned up at me, once again amused, before speaking.

'Look, Bella. While we both know I'd love to stay here watching sleeping beauty all night, I've got a bar to run. If you want to stay with her, that's fine, but if not, feel free to come up here whenever you want to check on her. I'll leave the door open. The only other person with access to this area is Eddie, across the hall, and I'm almost sure he's gay.'

I chuckled, and decided that since she clearly wasn't going anywhere, I might as well go down and finish that sandwich of mine.

I headed towards Emmett's front door, with Emmett trailing behind me.

'Thanks for doing this, I guess. I know she can be overbearing and forward, but Rose is lovely. I promise.'

Emmett chuckled, not concerned in the slightest. 'Look, Bella. It's not every day a girl tried to pants me by jumping the bar. Believe me, the pleasure was almost all mine.' He gave me a sly smile, opening his door for me and allowing me to step out in the hall.

Right into a solid wall of chest.

I looked up to glance at the object in my way, and almost growled.

Shit.

EDWARD

I looked down at Brown Eyes, and then back at Emmett, who was watching me with an amused grin.

What a dick.

'Emmett', I growled, 'Of all the fucking girls to bring home…..' I let my sentence fade and ran my hand through my hair irritably.

Of course he thought it was ok to bring home the girl he'd seen me eyeing off in the library.

'Look Edna, don't get those pretty pink knickers of yours in a knot. This is Bella. Her friend blondie passed out after she hit her head on a beer dispenser whilst trying to jump me at the bar.'

I wasn't sure what was worse: the fact that Emmett had just insinuated that I was a female in front of Brown Eyes, or that he'd openly called her friend a slut.

On the upside, I'd found a name for Brown Eyes.

Bella.

Internal jubilee and high-five extravaganza.

Bella didn't seem at all worried about her friends sluttiness, but was cautiously watching me before turning to Emmett.

'You're right. He really does seem gay, doesn't he?'

She smiled, and skipped down the stairs, apparently satisfied with herself.

I whipped back around, facing Emmett. 'You told her I was gay?' I almost choked.

'Sorry Eleanor, I may have let it slip in my bedroom.'

'In your bedroom?'My voice was beginning to sound like that of a pre-pubescent male.

He grinned, all-knowingly. 'I'm going to give you a moment to regain any testosterone pride that you possess, Eliza, and go downstairs to keep the bar going. But just so you know, she seems like a nice enough girl, and you are clearly not her favourite person right now. Give it a rest, and see what happens. In the meantime, I'll go down and give her that free beer I promised her.'

He winked, knowing it would only piss me off more, and trotted down the stairs.

I glared at his retreating form.

Of course Emmett would meet the one girl I had any interest in.

And of course he'd managed to strike up some form of kinship with her without ruining any of her shirts, and without causing her to poke him in the chest fifty times.

I was in so much shit.

I trudged back into my apartment and shut the door.

Right now, Brown Eyes was dining downstairs, probably listening to Jasper as he started his set. And here I was feeling sorry for myself and wishing her friend had tried to jump me simply so I could have a legitimate reason to start a conversation with her.

With the realisation of how pathetic I was, I stood up and made my way to the bedroom, switching off the radio that was playing in the corner and finding a dressier shirt to put over my current black MUSE top. With one glance in the mirror, I found my connies, shoved them on my feet and shut my apartment door, climbing down the stairs that Brown Eyes had occupied minutes earlier.

I pushed through the door, and walked round behind the bar, to see Emmett chatting with Bella and sipping a beer.

I gritted my teeth, grabbed a glass, and poured a beer of my own.

And then skulled it.

I could hear Jasper crooning around the corner, playing something that may or may not have been original. I couldn't tell.

I poured myself another, and gradually made my way up to the other end of the bar, where Bella and Emmett were situated, laughing.

Bella's eyes darkened immediately at my presence.

Shit.

Emmett turned to see me coming, before giving me a smile that was much too cheeky for my liking.

'You got changed to come down to the bar Elisa? You really are gay.'

Sweet lord.

Bella stifled a giggle.

This was possibly going to be the longest night of my entire life.

'Bella here was just drawing my attention to our friends getting friendly over on stage. I've never seen Jasper look so pathetically female.'

I glanced across at the stage. Sure enough, a petite girl with a pixie haircut was bouncing up and down in her seat excitedly while Jasper stared at her with such intensity that it was as if he was reaching into his soul and channelling any inner oestrogen he could find.

It was almost awkward.

Other couples were scattered throughout the bar, clapping at the end of each song. But it appeared that even they were uncomfortable with the eye-fucking going on in the front row.

I turned back to face Emmett, who was grinning over at Bella in their own sort of private joke. I found his leg under the bar, and kicked him in the shin.

'What the…. Ellen. You need to chill out man. I'm going to go collect some glasses, but Elspeth, you really need to calm down.' He fake whispered in my direction. 'Bella, I apologise for leaving you in the presence of this female' he gestured to me 'when he is clearly on his period.'

With that, he smirked and sauntered away.

I couldn't even muster the energy to roll my eyes when my dignity and manhood had just been so blatantly assaulted.

I grinned at Brown Eyes, trying to portray that I wasn't even remotely bothered by the fact that Emmett had just said I was a female.

She went to get off the stool.

I grabbed the opportunity. 'You come here often?' I smiled.

She looked up at me, as if she was confused that I was still there, and mumbled a 'sometimes', before going to get off the stool again.

I turned on panic mode.

'Look,' I pleaded, sounding like the desperate fifteen year old female Emmett had portrayed me to be. 'I know we got off on the wrong foot. I know I made your day miserable, and I know I came across like a complete arsewipe. How about I make it up to you by taking you out to coffee something?' I chuckled nervously and smiled at her in a way I hoped was inviting.

She raised her eyebrows.

'What did Emmett say your name was?' she questioned.

'He didn't. I'm Edward.' I held out my hand, praying she would grab onto it and possibly run it along her body.

She looked at it.

'Look, Edward, I'm sure you're a nice guy, and I'm sure girls generally throw themselves at you like there's no tomorrow. But I'm not into cheating, and I don't think Blondie would appreciate you hitting on another girl.'

I stood there, opened mouthed, as Brown Eyes stood up and trotted away.

For the second time that day, Brown Eyes had thrown me for a loop and I'd come off second-best.

Blondie?

Jessica.

Fuck.

That girl had the amazing ability to not only shrink erections, but to cock block equally as effectively.

I put my head against the cold brick wall and slammed my fist into the counter. How is it that I'd made myself look like a cheating jackass when all I wanted was some coffee?

Emmett came up behind me, holding some dirty glasses and putting them into trays, before slotting them into the dishwasher.

He gave me a low whistle, watching Bella slide back into her seat.

'Back off.' I growled.

'Calm down, Emily, I'm not hitting on hot ass over there. In fact, I've got another piece of hot ass waiting for me upstairs. But you really need to chill out. You know I wouldn't cut your grass, Elle, and you sure as hell know that I don't do brunettes.'

I released a sigh, feeling increasingly frustrated at myself for attempting to pin this situation on Emmett.

'She thinks I'm a dick.' I stated.

Emmett chuckled. 'Yeah, she really does. You have not had a good run with her, have you?'

'She basically insinuated that she wasn't going to throw herself at me because I'm a cheating bastard.'

Emmett raised an eyebrow. 'You're cheating?'

'No, you dickwad. She obviously thinks I'm with that blonde girl that comes in here sometimes and follows me around.'

Emmett recoiled. 'Her? Jesus, Eloise, you could do so much better.'

'I'm not fucking dating her.' I punched him in the arm.

'Then why haven't you told that to her?' He gestured in Bella's direction. 'And why haven't you just apologised? No offense dude, but for such a female you seem to know nothing of the gender.' He slapped me on the bottom, grinned and walked away to get more glasses.

I sighed, glancing over at Bella, who was looking over at the pixie and rolling her eyes. She turned back to her sandwich, before looking up at the bar, seeing me, and scowling.

I internally punched myself. I longed for any other expression to fill that face when she saw me.

Instead, I gathered all my pride and walked away. If she didn't want me, well, others girls did. Like the redhead waitress Emmett employed. I looked over and smiled at her. She was cute-ish, and had a nice arse. She walked back over to the bar to drop some drinks off, watching me as I very deliberately ran my eyes over her petite body.

She giggled, and turned away to continue working.

It was nice to know that I hadn't lost my touch all together.

I began a light banter with her as she picked up and dropped things off at the bar.

Every now and then, I'd glance back over at Brown Eyes, who was eyeing the situation with scorn and contempt.

I felt my mood lighten immediately.

It was time Brown Eyes was pulled into the chase.

The chase where Edward Cullen was King.

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