Author's Note: What you are about to read takes place BEFORE the three chapters you just read! It's as if this is supposed to go first, but I wanted to post it after you already had a taste of what the relationship was like. SO please keep in mind that this chronologically takes place before what you just read. Ok, that is all, thank you ^_^

I sat there at the kitchen table, wondering how I let things get this bad. My boyfriend wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't even look at me; he just cried when he found out.

It was never my intention to let him know I had cheated on him, but when his best friends boyfriend caught me, I knew it was only a matter of time till he knew.

Axel and I had been dating for a month and things were great. He was always so attentive to my needs, so patient with my wants, so understanding of my pains. The sex is amazing and I'm lucky to have someone as kind and loving as him to comfort me when we finished making love.

But a couple of days ago, we got into our first fight. He expressed his concern that I was slowly distancing myself from him, and even though I had done so subconsciously, I knew he was right.

I was never one for commitment, so part of me knew it was inevitable. I live with him at his house, but when he leaves for work, I get lonely. And on the day of our fight, he told me that if I were just using him for sex and a place to live, he'd kick me out on my ass.

I got so mad that he'd accuse me of that, that soon after he left, I ran off to a local night club. I'm under twenty one, but I know how to sneak into pretty much anything.

I was just hoping to have a couple drinks, nothing too much, but when I caught a hot hunk of a blonde eyeing me, I couldn't help but flirt back. It started with some simple winks, smiling, hand blown kisses, then the next thing I knew, we were making out. My hands were groping his hair and his hands were invading my chest under my shirt as we escaped to his car. He was at least three years older than me, maybe even four, and his hair was nearly as gold as mine, his eyes like pure sapphires. We started getting more and more touchy, started licking and panting and I knew where this was heading. We were just about to start fucking when a loud harsh tap came from his window. We looked up and a tall buff brunette with a scar between his eyes started yelling.

"What the fuck Cloud?" the brunette hollered.

"Fuck you Leon!" Cloud shouted over the closed window.

"Better me than that kid!" The brunette pointed to me and I felt really insignificant.

"You never let me top." Cloud sat up, his voice much more calm.

"I will," The brunette put his palm against the window and Cloud looked back to me.

"Sorry kid," He opened his door and like a rejected stray animal, I was kicked out of the car, forced to listen to the couple get it on in the car.

I sat on the asphalt, starting to put my clothes back on when I heard snickering.

"Wait till Demyx hears this!" I stood up, buckling my pants, seeing Xigbars ugly face as he smoked outside of the club. Xigbar is Demyx's boyfriend, who is Axel's best friend. Fuck.

"C'mon Xig, don't tell!" I didn't want to sound like I was begging, but I had no choice.

"As if I won't. Already texted Demyx a pic of you swapping saliva with that blonde."

"Axel's guna kill me!" I rushed a hand to my head.

"Guess it's what you deserve," Xigbar shrugged and went back inside the club. I shouted obscenities as I walked back to Axel's, and when I got there, he was already home. He was sitting at the kitchen table, hands folded and foot tapping rapidly.

"Hey," I said, even though I had stood there like a ghost, I didn't want to be treated like one.

"Axel?" He never responded.

"Why Roxas? Why?" He shoved his face in his hands and I knew he knew.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say.

"You're sorry? You think making out butt ass naked with some stranger can be fixed by saying you're sorry?" Axel slammed a fist on the table.

"I just…I'm sorry Axel."

Axel sighed. "Yeah, you already said that,"

That's when it all began. That's when I snapped.

"Well cause it's true so stop being an ass already!"

Axel popped his head up from his hands.

"You think I'M being an ass? For all I know, someone could have been in yours!"

"Well he wasn't so,"

"How can I believe you Roxas? Honestly, if Demyx didn't tell me, I don't think you ever would have told me. We'd be doing our thing and all this time you'd be hiding from me the fact that you cheated on me."

I was quiet.

"I'm right, aren't i?"

Again I was quiet.

"Dammit Roxas! I swear to God if you ever cheat on me again,"

"I won't so just drop it already!"

"Fuck you!" Axel flipped me off.

"Fuck you! I'm telling you I'm sorry, what more do you want?" I yelled.

"To fucking prove it!" Axel stood up and flipped the table over.

I sat in my chair wide-eyed, not aware of the anger he was capable of having. I heard his footsteps harsh against the hardwood, and then the unforgiving echo of the slammed door. I decided to give him his much needed time alone, and watched some TV to pass time.

After about three hours of cheesy game shows, I heard him emerge from his room. His eyes were just as swollen as his salt stained lips.

"Axe," I hated seeing him that way, knowing that it was all my fault.

"Prove to me that you love me," He didn't even look at me."

"How?"

"You decide."

"I love you, ok?"

"Why do you have to say it like that?" He put a hand to his forehead like he was sick; sick of me, perhaps.

"Look I said I'm sorry, so I don't know what else you want."

"Just fuck it Rox. I'm going to bed, I'm too tired to deal with this right now." He dragged his body away and for a while I just sat there on the couch, watching someone try to become a millionaire.

When I finally went in the bedroom, the lights were off, but I could tell by his unsteady breathing that he was still awake.

I tucked myself in right by him, trying to get cozy against his limp and unresponsive body. I couldn't sleep, not without his mutual touch, his loving arms around me.

"Axe?" I put my arm around his waist from behind.

"What?"

"I really am sorry. I'll never do it again, I promise. I love you." I squeezed him. He turned around to hold me, eyes tearing.

"I love you too Roxy."

That night I made a promise. A week and a half later, I broke it. Then I made another promise. Again I broke it.

This cycle has continued for so long, I don't know if I'll ever be able to break my habit of breaking promises.

Author's Note: Ok so now that you have read this and the first three chapters, EVERYTHING that will be posted from now on will be what happens AFTER the 3rd chapter! If there are any questions or confusion, feel free to comment about it so I can clarify if necessary.

Thank you for reading

Heart, Sarabellum