I seriously neglected this story and that's exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do. :/ Anyhow, i've got a Christmas break and plan on writing up a few chapters so that I can just upload them with a week between them or so when I don't have time to write one up. Now onto the story.

Chapter 3.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

That morning Stefan could not fall asleep. No matter how much he tried to. He tossed and turned, turned his pillow onto the cold side, and even took his duvet off only to cover himself with it again a minute later.

It was strange the way his friends seemed to just accept the fact that he was compelled and didn't discuss it, or even mind it. It seemed extremely strange since the incident was the only thing on Stefan's mind as he lay in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. A frown appeared on his forehead.

Perhaps he shouldn't concentrate on that so much. Maybe he was just compelled, but how powerful would a vampire have to be to make all those feelings so REAL for him ?

No matter how much he tried to forget how he felt right then, he couldn't. His mind was desperately clutching onto that piece of real feeling. If only those feelings weren't directed at his brother! He shook his head, what was he thinking about now.? Did he really believe he LOVED Damon in a romantic way.? The worrying part was that he could not answer this question. He grimaced remembering the way he spoke Damon's name. Suddenly, he gripped onto the sheets tightly.

He could not stay in bed, not in this state. He almost jumped off the bed and rushed into the toilet.

He felt sick, really, really sick. Both mentally and physically.

He went up to his sink, and placed his hands on it, leaning down to wash his face with cold water. As soon as he looked up, he noticed his pale face in the mirror. It was the very same face he knew, those green eyes, brown hair, lips and nose.

Nothing changed, but why did he feel so different.?

The memories from yesterday once more hit him. Crying - FOR GOD'S SAKE, CRYING - because he could not get to Damon, basically worshipping his older brother and getting hard by merely looking him up and down. It just HAD to be Damon that compelled him. He said he didn't, but what was his word worth.?

He hated him and promised him a lifetime of misery, so in his eyes itwas just keeping his promise. His hand clenched into a fist, he aimed to hit the sink, but forgetting how strong he was, the various pieces of porcelain were now scattered around the bathroom and his hand which was cut, already healed. If he hadn't clenched his teeth he would have screamed with rage. He couldn't show Damon it affected him though.

Just then his mind decided to show him the image of Damon from yesterday, who seemed as equally suprised as the rest of the guests, but the anger that was boiling in Stefan pushed the image to the back of his mind.

He backed away until his bare back hit the cold wall, and he slid down, locking his eyes on the floor in front of him. The green orbs seemed distant, his mind was definitely not in the bathroom.

He smiled sadly, thinking about it all.

Him and Damon.. Him and his older brother, that was surely some sick joke.

He was being haunted by last night, and the horrible echo of the silence was making him uneasy and sick all over. He covered his ears with his hands and clenched his teeth again. His mind tried denying every single feeling he felt, it tried to deny how badly he wanted to touch him and how he wanted to be as close to him as possible, it tried to deny the fact that Damon seemed to be the most beautiful and perfectly imperfect person in the whole universe, and it tried to deny the fact that Stefan would be lost without him.

The tears that left wet trails on his cheeks, were as real as the cold marble floor he was sitting on. Everything was true.

Unbelievable and fucked up, but true.

Damon, unlike his brother, got 3 hours of peaceful sleep. He had to do something and that feeling of something being undone was nagging at him and that was probably why he woke up at 10 AM - too early.

He got up, and started getting dressed, half asleep practically, and for a second he briefly wondered whether Stefan was awake. And then he heard something breaking, like glass.. no, porcelain or something along the lines of it.

It seemed his little brother WAS awake after all and either really pissed off about something or really reckless. Those horemonal teenagers these days.

Today, he was wearing the same clothes minus the robe, and the shirt . He was wearing a navy blue, button-up shirt with the first two buttons undone of course. Once he was content with himself and fully awake, he left the Salvatore boarding house.

He didn't really care what Stefan was planning on doing, but he hoped he wasn't visiting his girlfriend any time soon.

As Damon came to find, Elena left her bedroom window open - very foolish of her.

He entered soundlessly, and closed the window behind him, before sitting down on the window sill.

As he looked around the room, he noted that nothing changed. He grabbed a teddy that was sitting down on the window sill beside him, before smirking that trademark smirk of his.

He looked up at Elena, then down at the teddy. He was hardly going to wait around for her to wake up. Who knows when she decided to leave the land of dreams, and Damon didn't have the whole day...

Actually, he did, he just didn't feel it to be very productive to be spending it with a sleeping Elena in her room. Somehow, it just didn't seem entertaining, and Damon was all about entertainment.

He threw the teddy at Elena, so that it landed on her head, before leaning back against the window, and waiting for her reaction.

Well, as it came out Elena was in deep sleep, because the teddy didn't even wake her up a little.

With a groan, he got up off the window sill and walked up to the bed, before leaning down until his lips were just inches away from Elena's ear. He brushed the strands of hair, behind her ear, before whispering, his breath hot on her skin. "Wake up, princess. " He then straightened up, and spoke, his voice louder this time. "It's time for you to rise and shine!"

Elena frowned, and opened one eye first. "Damon.?" She said, quietly. She was still half-asleep. He grinned. "Yes, dear.?"

"Go away." And with that she grabbed her pillow and covered her head with it. Damon rolled his eyes, before sitting down at the edge of the bed and folding his arms. "If you don't get up, I'm going to start singing... " He trailed off and frowned, thinking of Elena mentioning the music she hated. "..Cascada!"

"Jenna's home." Was Elena's reply, which was muffled by the pillow. She didn't seem to believe the fact that Damon would be ready to sing Cascada to her over and over again until she decided she had enough and wanted to get up.

Damon shrugged, and grinned before clearing his throat and mentally reminding himself of the Cascada song he heard on the radio the other day. "I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me... I still feel your touch in my dreams."

Elena groaned. "Damon, ugh.."

"Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why, without you it's hard to survive." As he hit the high note, he had to bite his lip, because he was close to laughing. " 'Cause everytime we touch I get this feeling and everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly, Can't you feel my heart beat fast? " Aaaaaaand he didn't get to finish the chorus, because he was pounced on. POUNCED ON.

He ended up laying on the bed, with Elena on top of him, in her pyjamas. A smirk tugged at his lips. "Good morning, princess."

Silence followed, Elena's lapis lazuli eyes were dangerously narrowed and locked on Damon's dark orbs. His hands were pinned to the bed, by her hands and even though he could free himself just as easily, he wasn't about to.

".." She hissed at him, before getting off of him. As she did so, he exhaled the air he didn't realize he was holding in.

Elena got back under the covers, and grabbed her teddy before looking down at Damon who was still lying on the bed. "So, what was so important that you decided to invade my bedroom and wake me up at..." She looked around the room, but realizing she had no clock there , she just trailed off. "It's 10 A.M. and I've come here to get justice. I believe I haven't been treated fairly yesterday."

"You poor thing." Elena replied sarcastically, whilst Damon scowled at her.

"I did not compel Stefan, Elena. Why would I do such a thing anyways.?" He frowned waiting to hear what kind of an excuse she could come up with.

"Just because you want to make his life miserable.?" She suggested with a raised eyebrow. The look on her face told him that she was convinced that yes, indeed Stefan must have been compelled.

"No, if I was planning to ruin the night because I wanted to make Stefan's life miserable I would have compelled you to hyperventilate over me, and since you didn't have your vervain necklace on yesterday, it would have been rather easy." He wasn't exactly nice anymore. If he wanted to put his point across, he had to make her see he was serious about this.

"So, you're telling me that Stefan's deepest desire is.. his older brother.?"

"It must be the hormones." Yes, he planned on being serious. And this was not exactly the most serious thing you could say during this conversation. Elena was getting angry, he could see.

"You hate him, you MUST have compelled him." She stated, her eyes that held no love whatsoever - quite the opposite, actually - were locked on his and they were daring, as if challenging him to question her theory.

His eyes narrowed, his forehead creased as he returned the gaze with more intensity. "Oh, does it hurt when someone you love loves his older brother more.?" The atmosphere between the two was so intense you could cut through it with a knife.

However, after Damon's rethorical question Elena seemed to withdraw. Her voice didn't hold as much power anymore. "He's lost."

"Like a sheep in Africa. That much I don't doubt."

"So, you're saying you didn't compel him.?"

He was getting really impatient. Really, he had to go through all this just for her to believe him. "No." He snapped, before getting up and heading for the window.

"Where are you going.?" She asked, leaning back against the head board. She looked so troubled and confused, all Damon wanted to do was change that state.

"Bonnie's come to see you."

And sure enough, there came the doorbell and a minute later, Jenna's calling. "Elena, Bonnie's here!" When Elena looked back at the place where Damon stood, he was already gone. She shivered from the cold that found it way through the window.

"Elena, you're worrying me. Do you honestly believe that Damon was telling the truth.?" Bonnie Bennett, the witch and a best friend of Elena, was sitting at the foot of her bed, looking .. what you could call concerned.

Meanwhile, Elena was still occupying the same spot she has been 10 minutes ago when Damon left. Her eyes were locked on the wall opposite to her, and she was clutching the teddy to her chest tightly.

"He seemed pretty adamant about it." Elena was so frustrating. She said it so calmly, one would have thought she didn't care about it at all. Bonnie frowned, and tried to catch Elena's eye.

"Elena! Look at me!" She demanded, and only after few seconds, did the girl rest her eyes on her. Bonnie clicked her fingers. "Snap out of it. Stefan is with you, and if he loved Damon, I think he had enough time to 'fess it up to him, don't you think.? "

"He must have been in denial..."

Bonnie gasped. "Are you LISTENING to yourself.? I can't believe we're having this conversation right now."

Elena frowned. She was getting angry at Bonnie, but finally she was showing some emotion on the matter. "Bonnie, you cast a spell, he couldn't lie, Damon swore to me that he didn't compel him. The answer is blatantly obvious. It's right there in front of my eyes." Now, she was clearly getting worked up about the issue and Bonnie did prefer that over the emotionless reactions.

"Well, maybe it wasn't Damon.? Or.. I don't know, maybe I cast the spell wrong.?"

"But Alaric answered the question honestly. Everything was fine with the spell..." Elena trailed off and looked down. The next time she spoke her voice was quieter and softer. "I don't want to loose him, Bonnie."

"Oh, you won't.." The witch reasurred before leaning forward and hugging her friend. Oh, how she wished to do something. She would move the world if she could.

After the little trip he took to Elena's house, he had gone hunting and was back only after the sun has set.

As he entered the Salvatore boarding house, he heard Stefan upstairs. An idea struck him like a lightning and he decided it was worth a try. At least it would answer his question.

He basically burst into Stefan's room 5 minutes later with his towel, shampoo and other necessary bits. His younger brother was sitting on the bed with a whole lot of books surrounding him. When he looked up, his eyes were red and puffy and Damon had to frown. He didn't ask though.

"My shower's broken, and I need hot water, so I am just going to make myself feel welcome and use your shower." Without any further ado, and waiting for Stefan's reply he walked into his bathroom and shut the door. He threw the towel onto the radiator, and placed the rest of things on the floor in the shower.

Only then did he notice all the porcelain bits that were shoved under the sink. He looked at the said piece of furniture and noticed a big bit of it gone. So that was what he heard this morning.

What game was Damon playing at.? His shower was broken.? As soon as he heard the water running in his bathroom, he marched into Damon's room and then into his bathroom before checking the shower.

It was perfectly fine.

Annoyed, he walked back to his room, before grabbing the books of his bed and putting them back onto the bookshelf.

He spent his whole day in his room, wallowing in self-pity only taking a break to go down to the living room to get a snack.

Sometime in the afternoon Elena had called and she seemed upset. "Where are you?" She asked, and Stefan wondered if it wasn't quite obvious. "At home, where else would I be.? Are you okay.?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Damon was over here, earlier on..." She trailed off, and all the blood was gone from Stefan's face that second. He didn't know where it went, but it certainly evaporated from him, leaving him unhumanly pale. What could Damon have told her.?

He hung up. He was such a coward, and has been cursing himself for hunging up for the rest of the day, and that's how he ended up on the bed with the books. He decided to take his mind off everything.

It didn't work.

When he put the last book back on the shelf, he realized that the water hasn't been running for few minutes now, and just as he was about to walk back towards his bed, the door opened and Damon walked out. Stefan inhaled the air sharply.

He was wearing nothing but the black towel around his waist. His hair was wet and messy, and the little droplets were slowly racing down his perfectly toned naked torso.

When Damon noticed him looking, he cocked his head to the side, making the water drops fall from the ends. "So tell me, little brother, because I've been curious.. Are you gay.? Being your older brother, I am rather concerned and would like to know what exactly is going on with my horemonal little bro..." He started to walk towards the bookshelf, just because he wanted to... well, walk past Stefan and get his journal.

As Damon passed him, he couldn't help but smell deepest infection of dark roses and some other earthly substance he couldn't fathom. "Does Elena not do it for you anymore.?"

Damon's eyes locked on Stefan's in that moment, and even though Stefan's boxers have been tight for quite a while now, only this tipped the scales over. He threw himself at his brother, pinning him to the wall. He caught him by suprise, and his brother seemed to have thought he was being attacked because he struggled against him.

But Stefan didn't want to attack him.

No.

He roughly pressed his lips to Damon's and pushed his body tightly against his elder brother's.

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Right, that would be it for now.

The song in the chapter is Fix You - Coldplay, but I'd advise you to also listen to the Secondhand Serenade cover of this. It's amazing.

Anyways, review and make my Christmas.

Oh, and Happy Christmas by the way. :)