Severus blinked as he found himself in a study. It seemed as if Harry had taught at least Carlisle basic Occlumency as the man had a fully developed mind scape. The memories were most likely in the books that filled the shelves that lined three of the four walls. He looked around trying to decide where to start looking.

He strode over to the shelves and took a look at the books. On each of them stood a number beginning with the 1660s, the time the man had been turned. Severus moved over until he reached 1987 and pulled the book from the shelf. Flipping it open, on the first page there was something akin to an index with all the months listed. Skipping most of the book to December, the month in which he had brought Harry to them, he looked over the pages. At first glance there seemed nothing amiss. There were no pages ripped out, like he would have anticipated when Harry had somehow been able to oblivate all of their memories with him. There was also nothing blackened or made otherwise unable to 'read'. But still. When looking deeper he just felt that something was wrong. He was sure that it was only noticeable when one knew what one was looking for. On the day Severus and Albus had brought Harry to them they were, of course, not even mentioned and later there was no trace of the young wizard. But the memories felt strange.

And then it hit him. He went back a few pages, to before they came, and felt the 'paper'. Then he did the same a few pages later.

They felt different, artificial.

Severus frowned. These clearly were false memories. He went on, through all of the memory-books of the vampire finding the same in all and everyone that followed 1987. The last false one was right before Carlisle had 'met Harry for the first time' on the 1st of September 1995. From then on the memories naturally did not feel artificial any longer since no one from the wizarding world had contacted them for the past three years. All of them relieved that the vampires kept themselves out of the war or just having forgotten about them for the moment.

But that was not what he should worry about now. He had found that the memories were false but somewhere the real ones had to be. He took one of the books with the false memories and examined the pages, the real pages were not beneath them. But they had to be somewhere. They just had. He looked around the room. There was nothing in it besides the bookshelves, a desk with no drawers and … a bag? He frowned as his gaze fell on a doctor's bag, like the one Carlisle had in real. It was lockable. The only lockable thing in the whole mind scape.

This had to be it. This had to be where the true memories were given they had not been destroyed completely.

Severus moved closer and finally knelt down to inspect the bag. As he reached out to open it, he felt a jolt run up his arm and was blocked by an invisible barrier. A moment later he heard a muffled whimper behind him. He spun around.

There, in the far corner, sat Harry, curled up in a tight ball. But he did not look like he looked today; no, more like shortly after the third task or even worse, shortly after they had first met. He was clearly frightened and short of hyperventilating. Not at all the confident and brave man Severus had come to know in the last years; not at all like he was normally today.

As Severus moved away from the bag and over to Harry the image flickered and vanished, but reappeared as he knelt down again by the bag.

"Why are you here?" the image sobbed. "You should not be here. They can't remember. They must not remember. Please don't make them remember."

"Why has Carlisle not seen you here before?" Severus asked, "you have to have been here for the last three years." He knew that at the moment the boy would not calm down enough to try to convince him that it was okay by now for the coven to remember him since the threat of Voldemort was gone. He knew that this discussion would be futile right now and as long as the boy was this hysteric. The boy was much too panic-struck to believe Severus and the man could not go over to calm him down as he would vanish as soon as he left his spot by the bag.

"Muggle repelling charm," the image mumbled. "Even if he's a vampire he still is a muggle."

"I see. Why must they not remember?"

"Because they'd come and then they'd get hurt. Alice has seen it. Besides, I won't survive. It's easier for them this way," the image whispered. "They're better off without me. Edward is better off without me. He can choose a mate that is not as screwed up as I am. I don't deserve him."

"Harry," Severus said, "you have survived. The war is over. Please, let Carlisle remember. You need your family."

"But they don't need me. It's safer for them without me there."

"Damn it, Harry. Be selfish for once you stupid thickheaded Gryffindor. Be selfish and take your family back. It is your damn right after all you went through."

'Harry' looked up at the professor.

"You are not Severus. He would understand. You want to get my family killed. OUT!"

And with that Severus was pushed out of Carlisle's mind and back in his own.

After his forced departure from the vampire's mind, Severus was left panting for a long time. Indeed it was over ten minutes later until he regained his breath enough to be able to answer Carlisle's questions.

"Well? What did you find?" the vampire asked, looking curious and a bit impatient at the potions master.

"He changed your memories into false ones whenever a magic wielder was in them. I think that the real ones are in the med bag that is standing beside the desk. It has a muggle repelling charm on it. That is the reason you never noticed it before. So the good news are that the real memories are still there. This is why you feel that he is a member of your coven. The bad news however are that I don't think that there is a way to get the memories back for you since I have not been able to touch it and I doubt that I will ever be," Severus sighed.

"But why does he g to such lengths to keep us—of course," Carlisle said as realisation hit him. "I view him as a member of my coven so either he was our child or the mate of one of us." There was a brief pause. "Most likely child since all of us have their mate here."

Carlisle looked at Severus inquisitively as if he wanted to make sure that the man would not lie to him on his next question.

"Why did he erase our memories when he was our child? We would have fought with him even if it was against Voldemort."

"And that is the problem. You would and the chance is high that you would have gotten hurt. I think Alice had seen something like this. It doesn't take that much to kill a vampire for wizards. I should know. We fought some in the war. They were on Voldemort's side. Your coven could have been lost. He didn't want that."

"He'd rather hurt himself with losing his family?" Carlisle asked unbelieving.

"He'd go through all kinds of torture to keep his loved ones safe," Severus answered sadly. "He thinks he's useless and that the others are better off without him even up to this day. That other people are worth more than him even if we tell him otherwise each and every day." Severus paused for a moment. He hadn't meant to say that maybe it was better if he left before he could give away more.

"I'd better go. I have to get back to the school." With that he stood, ready to leave.

"Of course," Carlisle said while standing too. "Please contact me and tell me what's going on. And maybe Harry could come over even if we don't get our memories back we might be able to get to know him again?"

The vampire sounded hopeful.

"I will talk to him. But I can't promise anything. The is stubborn to the fault."

"That is all I can ask for the moment. It was good to see you again, Severus, even if the circumstances were not that good."

"And you as well, Carlisle. I hope we will see much of each other in the near future. For our all sake."

Well, whatcha think? Tell me, please. There is also a poll on my profile if Bella should be good or bad. Please vote! athena