I slowly blinked my eyes open; my head felt swollen with emotions from the entire day before. I wanted to be up before him, had a huge surprise awaiting him; if only I could drag this unwilling body out of bed. I rolled over, forcing myself up out of bed without trying to disturb Axel. He stirred a bit, but rolled over as I tip-toed out of the room. Thanks to Sora, I know how to bake really well, so I decided that baking Axel his absolute favorite desert, German chocolate cake with cherries and homemade vanilla frosting, would be the best way to win him back completely. It takes a while to make, but I was desperate to show Axel that I had changed….was changing…was at least willing to try. While the cake was in the oven and the frosting in the fridge, I ran to a nearby convenient store to buy party streamers and balloons, all red and green, my favorite colors because they remind me of Axel's gorgeous eyes and delectable hair.

Thankfully, Axel was still sound asleep and the cake was almost done when I got back. The faint aroma of sweet chocolate slowly rising in the oven drifted everywhere in the house. By the time I put the cherries on the frosting topped cake, Axel stumbled out of his room, still clearly tired.

"Whatcha doin?" Axel rubbed the sleep away from his eyes.

"It's for you," I showed him the platter, cake, frosting, cherries and all.

"For, for me?" Axel suddenly woke up, placing a hand on his chest.

I nodded.

"What? Why?" I didn't expect Axel to take my transformation as sudden as one pastry.

"I want to show you that I love you." I set the cake on the counter, leaning back against it. As much as I wanted to jump in his arms and confess my true love like they do in the movies, that just wasn't me. It's not who I am, who I ever was, or who I ever can be. But I know, that with practice and time, I can show Axel that I really do love him.

Axel smiled, a real genuine heart throbbing smile that made me blush. God he's beautiful when he's happy. "Aww, you're so sweet." Axel wrapped his arms around me, and then looped his thumbs in my belt loops just above my hips. He swayed us side to side gently, and when I rested my head on his chest, I knew this was right.

"I love you," Axel rested his chin on my head.

"I love you too," I squeezed his middle and I could feel his chest vibrate as he breathed.

"I want this to last Roxas. I want this to be real." Axel exhaled and I could tell that my constant and ever changing emotions and moods probably drained him more than it did me.

"Me too. I'm, I'm going to try," I said, looking up into his emerald eyes. He blinked, and I could tell that this moment was getting a little too raw for us.

"I can't take another heart-brake Rox. I just can't," He shut his eyes, and I could feel the jolting in his stomach as proof that he was ready to cry over losing this love.

"You won't have to," I did my best to hold him even though I'm much shorter than he is. I bet he's thinking that I'm just promising random bullshit like I would sometimes do just so we wouldn't fight. But I mean it this time. After he fell asleep last night, I stayed up for hours, talking to Sora over the phone. Hell, I even talked to Riku for help. I locked myself in the bathroom; and I cried. That link between my past and the pain I was causing Axel finally connected, and even though I had always known it, it took till last night to understand it enough to know how to change it. Sora said it wouldn't be easy; he said it'd take time and patience. Riku said it'd take lots of hard work and drive, but they both told me that it's the only way to have a healthy relationship with Axel. And I know I want that more than anything right now.

"I want you to promise me that this time will be different, but that's never changed anything in the past," Axel let go of the hug and I couldn't blame him for doubting me.

"I'll prove it," I grabbed his hand and led him to the living room to show him the balloons and decorations I spent an hour setting up.

"So, it's Christmas in May?" Axel scratched his head.

"No, red and green are my two favorite colors; cause, they remind me of you." I pointed to the streamers, and then to him. He smiled again and I wanted to melt.

"So you actually thought this through," Axel teased my hair with his hand.

"Of course," I giggled. Sora said that laughter is the best way to prove that you want to be with someone.

"I don't remember the last time I heard you laugh. Or saw you smile," Axel put his hand on my chin and lifted it up while he bent down to kiss me. I was hoping for a big dramatic and passionate kiss, but all he gave me was a gentle peck. But, Sora also said that those are the best to show someone that you love them as themselves, and not for their bodies. Damn, I had a lot to remember.

"What do you want to do?" I asked Axel as we sat on the couch together, watching TV, and eating cake.

Axel shrugged, "Doesn't matter."

"Anything you want to do, I'll do it," I didn't mean for it to sound as sexual as it did, and the expression on my face probably explained that, cause Axel laughed.

"Well," He picked me up, causing me to drop my fork in surprise, and placed me in his lap. "We never had that makeup sex." He kissed my ear and bit down hard.

"Ah!" I inhaled deep, my chest raising and my mouth opening without control.

"But," Axel took me off of his lap and I was stuck breathing heavy as he continued. "I swear to god Rox, if you're just using me,"

I stopped him there. "I'm not. Axe, I really want to change for you. And….and…and if not having sex at all will prove it, I'll go without it." I couldn't believe my own mouth, and I'm the one that said that! Axel was even more shocked. A slut like me? Refusing sex?

"You're that serious huh?" Axel looked at me like he couldn't believe I could do it. I nodded.

"I want this to last too Axe," I stared at my fork on the floor. Damn. I was getting hard and starting to crave all my usual habits. Starting to crave that intense rush of adrenaline when sweat mixes between our bodies; when his tongue is licking anything it can reach; when his cock is hard inside mine. Fuck. If I didn't stop reminiscing soon, I'd be hard enough to notice.

"Good. Then no sex it is," Axel stood up to take his plate into the kitchen and my heart sank. I kept telling myself that this time was going to be different. That this time, I could keep my promise. It became a mantra stuck in my head to keep away any temptations as I could only wish that this stage of proving myself wouldn't last too long.

When Axel got back to the couch, I did my best to smile. Sora told me that sometimes, even faking it can help us feel like its real. And if you get used to it, you'll learn to smile through anything, and mean it.

"I love you," I said, cause Sora also said that it was important for me to remind Axel. I wasn't trying to do all these things just because Sora said so, but man does it help to have some tips.

"I love you too Roxy," Axel kissed me on the cheek before he sat down next to me, changing the channel and I couldn't help but watch him as he watched TV.

"What?" Axel asked nervously after he noticed that I had been staring at him.

"I just….I cant believe I almost let you let me go," I didn't need any of Sora's advice to know that honesty was one of the best things in a relationship. Axel turned off the TV and moved to face me.

"We have a lot of work to do if we want it to be real and last this time," Axel said and I shook my head.

"Every time we fought or got angry at each other, it's because of me. I'm the reason. I'm the problem." Fucking shit. Sora never told me that admitting my faults would make me feel so shitty.

"We both have things we can work on." I could tell Axel was just trying to make me feel better.

"Not you," I hung my head low.

"Yes, even me,"

"Like what? Stop being so perfect so it doesn't hurt as much when I fuck up?" I buried my face in my hands. Half a day gone, and I was already losing it. This was going to be harder than Riku made it seem.

"Don't talk like that," Axel put his arm around me and I started crying.

"It's true Axe. I want to change, I want to be the boyfriend you deserve, but I just can't," I slammed my fist against his chest, not to hit him or cause him pain, but to show him my frustration. He held me tighter.

"I know you do, and I know you can. Shh, just calm down Rox, calm down." Axel inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly, silently coaching me to stop crying. When I reduced my tears to a sniffle, I put my arms around his neck.

"I really do love you," I needed to remind him; I needed to remind myself why all this work would be worth it.

"I know Rox. I love you too ok?" Axel pushed me away from him to wipe my tears and to let me see that gorgeous smile of his again.

"Kay," I sniffled again, rubbing my eyes, stopping when I felt his lips against mine.

"We'll get through this together," Axel winked and he stood to pick up.

"Let me do it," I said, beating him to clean-up duty.

"I can help," Axel offered a hand as I stuffed my arms of forks, glass cups, plates, and such.

"No, you have work. This is the least I can do," I tried to smile as he nodded and began to get ready for work. I wanted to be of help to him. I wanted him to value me and my existence the way that only Sora has thus far. But of course, I fucked that up. On my way in the kitchen, I spilled a cup that I was trying to keep from tipping over. After I spilled it, naturally I slipped on it, and as I crashed on the ground, back first, head second, I could hear the sound of shattering glass.

Author's Note: SO just to clarify, the last chapter that you just read was the first part of the story. This chapter takes off where chapter THREE (3) ended. So yeah, hope that makes sense.

Thanks for reading! Reviews/comments are always appreciated =)

Heart, Sarabellum