CHAPTER 15: LAW OF WORDS OF POWER

"There are words that are able to change the inner and/or outer realities of those using/perceiving them."

(Whitcomb 15-16)

Past—Carl's POV

Carl is floating in nothingness. Only this time, he's aware of it—very much so.

He doesn't think he's actually physically there. He can't feel anything—any warmth or cold—no tactile sensation whatsoever.

So it must be a dream—except for the fact that he's cognizant of it.

It's the strangest experience he's ever had...

...yet vaguely familiar.

He starts to notice a speck of light in the distance. It's racing towards him and, as the light gets closer, it's dispelling the darkness surrounding him.

Carl panics—the darkness at least is familiar. This light is too intense. It's everywhere and everything.

There's no heat but it's scorching his very soul. He has the uncanny feeling that whatever is the source of that light can read the darkest regions of his spirit.

"And the lighter parts too."

If Carl had a body, he would have jumped.

Jacob?

Carl has no lips to speak of but the word echoes throughout the plane regardless.

Jacob? Is that you? His mind-voice repeats.

"Yes, Carl, it's me." The man in question materializes. "You're in a dream."

Carl refrains from saying he knows. Instead he asks...

Why am I here?

"You asked to see Tom."

But I thought you said that was impossible, that he was gone...?

Jacob steps into the light where Carl can see him. He's only an outline—a shadow in the light.

"I can't show you him, but I can show you what's left..."

And then to Carl's amazement, the outline of Jacob morphs into that of a black dog.

The dog trots ahead of him into the distance, then looks back.

And suddenly Carl is next to the dog—Jacob—and looking at something else: a Door.

And for all its magnificence this could be the Gateway to Heaven...

Almost immediately another dog comes into view. This one white.

It bares its teeth at Jacob.

Jacob, what...?

The hackles on both dogs rise as Jacob takes one step forward towards the Door.

Jacob...

Suddenly the white dog throws himself atop Jacob, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and dragging him down.

Jacob whimpers.

STOP! Carl wants to yell, but it's no use—his mind voice no longer reverberates.

The fight is intense and seems to go on forever...

And that's when he notices that the Door is now unguarded.

A moment later and he's in front of it, examining the handle on which words are written. He reads them carefully, each word seemingly echoing into the Void:

I shall not forget against Eternity...

I shall not lose to any God...

I shall not be overcome by Fate...

He can still hear the dogfight behind him but it's become something of a white noise. Carl's entranced.

I shall not forget...

Before he can get any further, however, the white dog breaks free. Though Carl has no body to speak of, the dog takes a running leap toward his essence...

And then Carl's blinded—blinded by images of a would-be past. All at once, he's living through new eyes in a different Lifetime.

This Life is centered upon one man... Tom.

Please accept me...

Suddenly he is Tom and remembering the sound of Carl's laughter over something foolish he had done. He relives this and wonders at what he—Tom—feels when he hears it: emotion that is Desire embodied yet not just for the physical but for something more, something he believes Carl can never give. The longing is painful but Tom revels in it.

Then they're stretched out in the sun together, Tom reading a book and Carl dozing off next to him. Tom glances down at the wind ruffling Carl's hair and Tom—Carl—smiles, feeling warmth from more than the hot weather, being burned by more than the sun's rays.

He feels...

Please accept who I was...

It's urgent this time. Tom waits in the shadows, more afraid than ever before. Carl is out there and unsuspecting, doesn't know yet... Tom makes his move, heart thundering in his chest. What would happen if he lost Carl? Tom almost feels like the thought alone could kill him.

And more and more memories flash through him—each one more intense than the last—taking a Lifetime—a few seconds—until he zeroes in on one in particular.

God, what he wouldn't give to make this right. Anthony, dead in Carl's arms, broke Tom's heart to pieces. To see Carl in so much pain, and be unable to do anything about it was... unbearable... physically, mentally, emotionally.

Tom couldn't accept this fate.

I have a reason and I shall change the world in exchange for...

Carl pulls back, mind reeling. He doesn't wake up but it's close.

"I'm not supposed to be saying this, but there is another reason that Tom did what he did..." Jacob had warned.

It wasn't just another reason, it was another Life.

His brother, Anthony's Life.

If he saves Tom, which he's not sure he can, what then would happen to Anthony?

"I don't know."

Jacob comes back into view, a human-shadow again.

"I don't know if you can save one of them or both of them or none of them... I don't even know if you can save yourself should you walk through that Door."

What do you...?

"That dog was Tom's memories of you, the strength of his will to protect you," Jacob looks sadly at the now clear entrance to the Doorway. "Trying to keep you from coming this far, he locked them away for you. Even if he could no longer exist, they were powerful enough to remain and keep you away. He never wanted you to have to make this choice."

Cecelia, Anthony, and Tom, they were all important people in his Life.

"There's one other thing you should know," again, Jacob wavers. "This isn't just about you four. Not anymore."

Then what is it about?! Carl wants to scream. What kind of game are you Powers playing at!

"There is no game, there are no judges, no Powers, and no rules."

Carl considers that until he realizes just exactly what Jacob is implying...

So there's nothing saying I can't save them all! If there are no rules...

"No Carl, nothing except reality."

What is that supposed to mean?

"It means just what I said; you'll have to circumvent reality."

How do I do that? Carl is growing more and more suspicious about where this is leading to, but also more and more desperate.

"Read the rest of the Oath on the handle."

Carl hesitates, is this the same Oath Tom took?

"No," Jacob says. "This one you're creating..."

But how?

He looks to where Jacob is motioning, down at the handle, and there are indeed words written there again—words that weren't there before...

Words written by his soul.

To you, who gave me the future...

To you, who have always protected me...

To you, whose courage leads the way home...

For you I will never give up...

The words ring true. Still he wavers. He has to think...

Anthony, Cecelia, and Tom.

What will happen to them? The way things are is that Anthony and Cecelia are both safe and sound... while Tom has been denied a chance at Life.

...a chance he willingly gave up.

No, that was unacceptable. "Circumvent reality," Jacob had said. If Tom could do it, so could Carl.

"And what then?" Jacob breaks through his reverie. "Tom will undoubtedly come after you again. When will it end?"

Who are you? Carl's mind-voice all but growls. What are you?

Jacob's voice is calm and even when he speaks, "I told you before: I am what you made me to be—what you needed me to be."

What is that supposed to mean?

Jacob pauses, then, "It means that this is not the first time you have stood before this Door."