CHAPTER 16: LAW OF MAGICAL NAMES

"To know the true name of a person, place, or thing is to have complete control over it." (Whitcomb 16)

Past—Carl's POV

Realization dawns on Carl.

How long? Carl's mind voice stammers. How long has this been going on?

"Ages." Jacob shrugs, "But this place doesn't deal with Time. Time here doesn't count."

But how many times...? How many Lives?!

Jacob raises a hand. "Too many," he answers, hesitates, then continues, "Don't you think it's time that both of you went home?"

Home... Carl's voice fills with longing, but for what he's not sure anymore.

What is home? He asks at last.

"I've heard the humans say that 'home' is where the Heart is..." is Jacob's answer.

Carl knew what he meant. If he knew where his Heart rested, he'd know he was home. If he knew his Heart he'd know where to go, where to be. Where he belonged.

My Heart…

It was time for Carl to ask that burning question... do I Love Tom?

Jacob doesn't miss a beat. "I would have thought that obvious."

Carl might have blushed if he could have. That's not an answer!

"Unfortunately it's the only one I can give you." Jacob sighs. "As with so much I cannot interfere. Whether you Love him or not is your choice and yours alone."

Carl is silent for a moment.

...does he Love me?

"I cannot say," is Jacob's reticent answer. The way he says it is answer in itself though. He states it as though it's the most well-known fact in the universe. Even more so than 'the sky is blue.'

Jacob sighs, "Carl, don't you understand what's happening here? What's been happening? What will happen again if you don't change it?"

Explain it to me Jacob... Why him? Why me?

"You mean you think the Universe chose you two specifically?"

Carl is silent.

Jacob shakes his head. "Think again. It doesn't work that way. You have to be the change..."

Carl notices he lingers on the last word a second too long.

Jacob? Carl asks uncertainly.

"I am going to do something I've never done before. That defies my very purpose of Being..."

What's that?

"I'm going to tell you the Truth."

There's a pause, and Carl worries when Jacob doesn't immediately offer anything forthcoming.

Why is this so hard?

"Because of what I am... what you made me to be... After all, once you make the Pact I'm supposed to just..." Jacob hesitates and looks toward the Door. "I am the guardian of that Door. A Door created by..."

Jacob stops. "I can't remember which one of you." He seems perturbed by this.

That's fine, Carl urges, Go on...

"You're right, it doesn't matter. That Door is a gateway to the Dreamscape. Does that mean anything to you?"

No... should it?

"That's odd..." Jacob's voice finally expresses emotion, one of surprise. "Normally by now you would have your memories back."

Memories of what?

"Could it be you don't actually want this?" Jacob mutters to himself, ignoring Carl for the moment.

Enough! Jacob, what is going on?! Carl mentally shouts.

"I believe, if I should hazard a guess, that perhaps this time the world has gotten to you." Jacob speaks evenly, ignoring the tense atmosphere that now surrounds them.

"You two have always had to endure hardships together... maybe this was just one time too many. Or is it possible it just wasn't meant to be after all...?"

Carl is getting tired of the runarounds, what do you mean?! His mind voice snaps and he reels as it booms throughout the plane, louder than ever.

Jacob shrugs, obviously still aware of something Carl isn't.

"Why don't you just wake up now?" Jacob asks after another uneasy pause. "You'll have a nice family and a happy Life, I can See it all."

Carl's unnerved but gathers himself quickly.

I told you, I'm not leaving without Tom!

"Are you certain? You're fading from the world quickly. This is your last chance at a normal life, be sure about this or Tom's Gift will have been in vain."

I'm sure. Carl says with growing confidence, though where this sudden onset of courage comes from he doesn't know.

"You've lived a Life Carl, so naturally a Death has to follow. Are you positive this is what you want?"

Carl thought about it. He thought of Cecelia and Anthony and all the rest who would suffer from his passing. He thought of their pain and their sorrow.

But then he thought of Tom and...

Yes.

Jacob nods.

"You will have a chance to say goodbye to your family. That is the only mercy I can give you. Twenty-four hours from now you will die. I will see you then, Carl."

Wait, what...?

With that Carl wakes up, opening his eyes to meet Cecelia's worried gaze.

"We... we should go to the doctor's. " She said, hands cradling his face. "I... I couldn't wake you!" A tear escapes and runs down her face as she clings to him.

"I don't know what I would do without you..." She cried and Carl stiffens as the words hit him hard. She saw him as a part of her life that was better than all the rest. The part that made the rest bearable. That was a form of love right there.

But what was the ultimate form? And why did it involve so much sacrifice?

"Let's go." Carl whispers, entwining his fingers with hers and wiping away the tears from her pretty face. A face he had kissed a thousand times over and had always wanted to kiss a thousand times more. Every time he saw her he wanted to kiss her.

He truly did love her.

When she made to get off him Carl caught her once more and pressed his lips against hers, pulling back to whisper. "Let's go to Coney Island. To the Statue of Liberty. To Ellis Island. To Central Park. Anywhere we can make a memory together. And not just us, let's bring the boys and my parents along. Let's make the best of today." Because that's all I really have...

And so they did.