A/N: first off, I just want to repeat just how awesome ALL of you guys are. Seriously, I'm so glad that my "one off" – I actually thought this story could be contained to 30 pages or so – "insane" drabble idea has been so much fun, both to write with 4persephone, my always patient partner in crime, and to hear back about from all of you.

Secondly, I think 4persephone and I have managed to tell ourselves a pretty good line about how this fic is going to end, so be looking for another 2-4 chapters for this one (though that could takes months to wrap up still).

Pepper hadn't meant to kiss Tony. This is a fact. However, it's about the only fact she has, other than the PAINFUL knowledge that he had turned his head when she attempted to kiss him on the lips. After all of Tony's flirting, and watching, and playful innuendo over the past couple of months, he'd still turned his head so that she'd only ended up kissing his cheek.

His reaction to her second attempt at a pass had left her absolutely mortified. Because seriously, she'd probably been the best offer he'd gotten in months.

'So much for his feelings not being brotherly.'

She doesn't know what to do, and that more than anything is what throws her off stride throughout the following day. Which is a nightmare, because between Tony's mixed signals and her own hesitance to admit what she WANTS his signals to be, she's a calm, cool, collected mask covering a slightly hung-over wreck. She's absolutely ruthless about keeping Tony on task and focused on work from the moment she emerges from her guestroom.

She finds Tony waiting for her with a cup of coffee and the air of a man about to plunge into a discussion he doesn't enjoy the thought of having. And after three failed attempts to engage her in conversation? Tony just apparently gives up and allows her to slip into her boarder collie routine.

She doesn't exactly give Lassie a run for her money.

Even so, by the time she finally clocks out Pepper is exhausted and has never been so glad to see the weekend. She actually stops and gets pizza for herself from her favorite joint – Purgatory Pizza – even though it adds an extra 45 minutes to her trip home. But it's been that kind of day and nothing is going to stand between her and hand-tossed, herb encrusted, pesto/sundried tomatoes/goat cheesy goodness.

Pepper arrives home, makes herself a blueberry pomegranate smoothie, then takes her supper into her bedroom where she changes into pajamas and climbs into bed with her laptop. It is time for some crucial decompression.

Seriously, her life has been one thing after another lately. It's almost enough to make her think about starting a blog. With all the Iron Man mania going on, it'd no doubt be a hit within weeks.

She logs on, notes the lack of chatting partners for the moment and eyes her writing folder contemplatively, not sure if she wants to open it and edit or just recycle the whole damn thing. She's fully aware it's why the lines in her life have become so…blurry…lately.

At the same time, these files are transcripts of the blood, sweat and tears that go into every single day of her life. They detail all the inner and outer turmoil that no one is allowed to see because Pepper Potts is immanently capable and cowed by nothing. Even if no one is able to recognize them for what they are, they are still a validation of her right to HAVE these feelings. The pissy, the cranky, the lovelorn... She's human and she has a right to express herself.

'You're also an adult who needs to find a better coping mechanism,' she tells herself as her cursor lingers over the little file folder icon.

It's in the midst of this dilemma that a window opens on her screen. -Rough day?- Turbo's inquiry cuts right to the point.

-How'd you guess?-

-Your status message was a good hint.- Turbo types back.

To be fair it does currently read "stupid. Stupid. STUPID."

-I think I'm losing my mind,- she replies after a moment, giving up on making a decision about her stories. -I'm seriously thinking about hanging up my writer's cap.-

-Wow. REALLY rough day then.- There's a long pause, during which Pepper eats more pizza and blinks at the screen, waiting for Turbo to say something else. -So am I allowed to ask what happened?-

-Other than me making a total IDIOT of myself? That friend I was hanging out with last night…? Also my only co-worker and my nominal boss. Kinda made a fool out of myself after having had one beer too many. Made a move on him without really intending to. And…hell, I don't know. I guess the way he flirts really is just habitual.-

-What kind of move?-

She sighs. -Felt up his arms and gave him a very off-target kiss.-

-And this is out of the ordinary for you?-

-Massively.- She gently bangs her head against the head board.

-Huh.- There's a short pause, then… -Could it be he just didn't want to take advantage of the situation if he thought you were tipsy? You said he's a friend right? That kind of thing is generally frowned upon according the top secret 'decent guy' syllabus...-

-One of those exist?-

-Yup...what do you think all we boys were doing in grade school while you ladies got lectures in hygiene?-

A little smile lifts one side of her lips -Clearly not being instructed on the dangers of using too much cologne.- Pepper, if she wanted to be sensible, could see the sense in Turbo's argument. But a smaller, far more vulnerable side of her protested that it was just a kiss. All she'd wanted was one little kiss.

-Only one thing to do then.-

-What?-

-Walk up to him, grab him by the lapels, shake him around a bit and then ASK him about it.-

-God no.- She types back emphatically, even as she's amused by the reference to some of their other conversations. 'No way in HELL.'

-Why not?- Tony frowns, is she afraid he'll laugh at her or something? Because that would bruise his pride a bit. With his friends at least he didn't generally try to be cruel.

-Because if there's one thing worse than getting turned down by a notorious playboy, then it's hearing why exactly you're being turned down.- She shudders instinctively. -God, how in hell does he manage to revert me back to a shy and gawky fifteen year old this way?-

-Fifteen?-

-Complete with bad acne.-

-I take it that was a particularly bad year for you?-

-Second worst of my life. My dad remarried and he, my stepmom and I moved to the West Coast when he took a promotion. I didn't know ANYONE. I think my teachers thought I was mute that first semester.-

-What makes you think he'd turn you down again? If you go to him sober I mean.- Turbo finally asks after a few minutes. -After all, if he's a "playboy" then your chances of getting a yes are probably stacked in your favor. Though what are you doing going after a playboy anyway, Fanny? I thought you had more sense than that.-

-What can I say...in this particular matter my heart apparently lacks my reason's better judgment.-

-Wait. Let me recap to make sure I have the facts straight. Last night you made a tipsy pass at someone you consider a friend, who turned you down for reasons unknown (though I would choose decency over disinterest), and despite the fact he's indicated he IS interested before, you believe that's since changed.- Across town Tony's also giving a good bit of attention to the fact that Pepper's heart plays into this, but he's determined to play it cool.

Pepper chews her lip. -Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know. I guess.-

-Well then maybe you should hold off judgment until you either talk or you try making another pass at him. Just sayin'.-

She snorts, -And how exactly should I do that?-

-Make him cookies or something?- Pepper 'lols' at him. -What? Everybody likes baked goods…or are saying the freak doesn't even like home cooking?-

-He's not a freak- The statement is a little defensive.

-Of course, you could also try just calling him up and talking to him. My guess is distance and the weekend will help if he tells you sorry but you're more like a little sister to him.-

Pepper blushes. -Um no. We already covered that particular conversation.-

-And what did he say?-

-It's not fraternal on his side. I never clarified my stance.-

Tony snorts; only Pepper would consider two near kisses 'not clarified.' -Maybe that's something you should attempt before trying a more on target smooch. You can't assume he knows you don't feel sisterly either.-

-I'd agree with you there if this wasn't technically the second time that I almost kissed him.-

-Was there alcohol in the vicinity the first time too? Or anything else 'massively' out of the ordinary? You can't always assume that us guys can put two and two together, you know. We're far too distracted by all the other variables.-

She snorts aloud. -Okay I'll admit that the first time he was probably a bit distracted by the dress I was wearing.-

-?-

- It showed a little more than my typical amount of skin.-

Tony snorts before typing back, -For guys there's no such thing as "a little more" skin, Fanny. There's daily glimpses, and there's "Well now I can better imagine her naked."-

-I really didn't need to know that.- She pauses a moment, debating. -Technically he's ALREADY seen me once in almost nothing but skin.-

Tony blinks at that a little. "What? When? Where? How? Why?"

Unaware of the intense interest of her conversational partner, Pepper chews her lip before continuing. -Though to be fair, I highly doubt he remembers the particular occasion. We hadn't met yet at that point and I was only one of three or four DOZEN floor models at the Sport and Race Car Expo back in... God, it must have been either '95 or '96.-

-You MODEL?- Tony of course had known this particular bit of information, but Turbo was entitled to some shock. After all Turbo didn't even know exactly what Fanny looked like.

-Not anymore. I did so occasionally to help pay the bills while I was in college. Of course I was masquerading as a blond then – so it wouldn't be easy to spot me in the pictures these days unless you're actively looking. Besides, who looks at the faces of auto show models? It's about the cars and bikinis.-

Alone in his mansion, Tony's instructing Jarvis to do an image search for all photographs having to do with the 1994-1997 shows, just in case Pepper's off by a year either way. He does not remember this fabled meeting but he intends to correct that immediately. The idea of Pepper at that age is…intriguing.

-So you're a babe, huh? You never mentioned you were a babe. I'm not sure how to process this new information. You should send me a photo to drool over or something.-

-Hmmm. Are you gonna send me one in return? I haven't seen your picture either, you know.-

For a moment Tony considers it. Seriously. Then he shakes his head hard and goes for lightness instead, pulling up his Google browser. -Sure.- A moment later a picture of Clark Gable loads up onto her screen.

Pepper snorts. -Cute.- She sends him back a photo of Nicole Kidman in her strawberry blonde heyday.

-Oooh, you're a carrot top then. You got any freckles?-

-A few.- She grins as she types. -Though I'm pretty pasty these days. To be honest my job just doesn't leave me much time for sunbathing.-

-You should bring this up with your boss. If he's like any reasonable red-blooded male, he'll make sure to provide the time for it. And then when his shields are down, you can sneak in again and hopefully plant a successful one on him…- Pepper snorts as Turbo continues, -You know, this sounds a like a workable plan, Fanny.-

-Sure it does. If you live in a bad chick flick instead of the real world. God look at me, I'm seriously taking seduction advice from a guy who built/builds robots and reads about tentacle sex.-

Tony snorts, -I do not. I just mention it to make you squirm. Besides, it's MACHINE tentacle sex, thank you very much.-

She rolls her eyes. -Should I be comforted by that particular distinction?-

-Absolutely. What, you're telling me that you're not? *looks insulted.*-

She snorts again, and admits that for now at least her own emotional recriminations have passed. Turbo has actually provided a few bits of useful perspective.

-So is it now time for us to dissect YOUR romantic problems?-

Tony groans on his end. -It really depends.-

-On?-

-How hard would it be to get CA to change its laws on common-law marriage.-

She blinks at that then types back. -If you have a live in girlfriend, Turbo, then your bigger problem right now is probably all the time you spend talking to me in the evenings.-

-Nah…no girlfriend at present – though not for lack of trying. I have someone in my life that it sometimes feels like really ought to be more than just a co-worker.-

-Does she feel the same?-

-Not sure honestly. I mean there's definite 'spark' there, but I get the distinct feeling I'm just plain out of her league.-

-Ah a beauty and the beast situation then, or is it beauty and the geek instead?-

-Hey! For your information I have no where near that much hair.-

-Maybe you should talk to her about it?- Pepper takes inordinate pleasure in bouncing that particular piece of guidance back.

-Already attempted once. Bombed out big time. I pretty much suck at the whole vocal attachment-of-words-to-feelings thing. Not to mention when we first met I was the Webster's dictionary of a jerk. (And still am one in recovery.) Still, we've managed to become and remain what I hope is good friends – hell, we know each other so well these days we could probably win one of those quiz show newlywed games.-

Tony snorts as he reads what he's written…all carefully scripted to be the truth and yet not too much of it. Still it's a little amazing really how common his and Pepper's situation seems when put down on paper. The same sort of relationship troubles that could plague almost any 'bad-boy/good-girl' relationship.

Apparently being Iron Man doesn't cut him any kind of break in terms of becoming a lame stereotype in the romance department.

-If you want to go that route, T, it'd require broad, sweeping change to the definition of common law. Think of how many employees who hate their jobs would find themselves married to their bosses. The divorce rate would skyrocket.- There's a pause. As she types back this comment, Pepper decides she's not going to delete her files just yet, but maybe it is time to slow down her obsessive editing of them. Having feelings is okay; lingering over them is the problem. -I wish I could help more here. You've been a good friend letting me vent.-

Tony sighs, lips quirking a little at the irony of the situation. -It's okay. Though if you're willing maybe you can help by giving your opinion on a more basic guy/girl question.-

-Opinions are cheap. Fire away.-

-Tell me what a guy has to do in order to get his girl to take notice of him? I mean if polite and respectful doesn't do it, then what the hell will? Flowers? Singing telegrams? Do I just pin her up against the wall and plant a good one on her?-

Pepper imagines Tony doing just that to her, and shivers agreeably. -Per my agreement with the "Sisterhood," I have to tell you that officially we frown on that sort of thing.-

-Then what do I DO?-

-Depends, I guess... What's the lady's personality type?-

A long pause, then, -V seems a lot like how you write your version of Pepper, actually. Strong, competent…wry sense of humor. Good at work, but often flusters when things get more personal or slip outside of her comfort zone. Honestly I think she's a little bit of a closeted control freak.-

Pepper's about to make something out of that – not to mention bristle at the word 'control freak - when she realizes that most of the public at large is probably unaware that her first name is actually Virginia, and the label isn't even entirely untrue. Turbo doesn't even sound like the trait bothers him per se. Instead it's apparently just part of his "V's" overall still-attractive package.

-So what…you're waiting for our couple to figure things out so you can follow their example, then?-

-Not exactly. It's more like I'm trying to learn the female mind and social culture, so to speak. I figure reading stuff written from the female perspective might help me figure out how the one in particular I'm interested in might think or react to things.-

-Fanfiction as social decoding. Now there's a scary idea.-

-Why?-

Because its fiction – which by nature is in a constant battle between authentic truth and blatant over-exaggeration. It can hold a mirror to reality yes, but that doesn't make it real life.-

-If you believe that then why read it…much less write?-

-Because there's occasional glimpses of truth even in the more melodramatic pieces. You sort of have to…mine for gold when you read. Find the common or not so common truths that appear whether or not the author even intends them.- Pepper shakes her head a little deliberately changing the topic. Her own personal reasons for writing are distinctly more complicated. -But enough literary philosophy…don't worry too much if you feel totally at loss to understand women. It's a weakness common to those of your sex. Of course, after having poured my man troubles out to you, I can hardly claim that we females are doing any better. It's a warzone out there.-

-Tell me about it. I'm starting to put more and more stock in this whole Mars and Venus thing...- Tony rubs the bridge of his nose and shifts in his desk chair. Ironic that the most meaningful conversation he's ever had with Pepper about anything is happening through such a shadow of distance.

-I've seen that book too. The analogy's valid, if a little oversimplified.- Pepper finally types in thoughtfully. -In my opinion though, its not so much a matter of the genders coming from different planets as it is a matter people – regardless of their gender – being like coins on a table.-

-Huh?-

-Generally there's a two sides to every person, the seen and the unseen.-

It's a valid observation, Tony admits as he stares at his computer screen. What little he remembers of his studies on psychology even break it down even further than that, to Id, Super Ego and Ego. What Pepper's talking about though is more basic – the parts of themselves people showed to the world and the parts they kept hidden unless they felt safe. Pepper and Tony vs Turbo and Fanny essentially. That which served as a kind of armor and that which was vulnerable and needed to be protected.

He finally types back, -Gotcha. So what's your hidden side, then?-

Pepper sighs as she reads the question. 'Everything I say to you, of course.' -If I told you that, it wouldn't be hidden, Mr. Gable.-

-Touché.-

-Sorry…that may have come off snarkier then I mean it to, it's just…-

-A very complicated question?-

-Yup. And not likely to help you much in regard to getting your girl.-

-What will help then?-

Pepper considers the issue a moment, then shrugs and starts typing again. -Okay, this probably isn't the answer you're going to want, and it might not even answer the question you asked. But it's the best I can get out of my keyboard, so you'll have to take it for the moment. In my own experience, most women who are looking for a serious relationship would abandon an angel or a demon both for the pleasure of an honest to goodness HUMAN. What that means, essentially, is that contrast is a good thing. As far as I can tell, attraction is found in all those tiny, personal dichotomies that aren't actually dichotomies at all but flashes of the other side of the coin. So yeah, be the guy who climbs trees to rescue cats, but then curse really loudly when you drop something on your foot too. It builds a sense of mystery-

-Gotcha. You know its weird to say this, but on some level that makes a twisted kind of sense.- He'd never thought of a relationship as a puzzle, much less a complicated equation of variables. But if Pepper can be described at all, it probably is in that manner.

-Glad to hear it. So have you got any beta for me tonight?-

Tony raises a brow. -I thought you were thinking about jumping ship.-

-Still may eventually. For now though I think I just need to chill out a bit...do something light and fruity or at least light on the angst.-

He just can't resist. -Sounds like a good time to write smut to me.-

Pepper blushes, but responds with vigor. -Hate to shatter your illusions, but when I read smut, neither light nor fruity could be used to describe it.-

-Ooooh...tell me more, Fanny.-

-Do you know they actually make cock rings you stick in the freezer?-

-! -

Pepper laughs softly to herself. -Before I give you nightmares, I tend to gravitate more towards the bodice ripper variety when I'm inclined to indulge at all. It's still nice when the woman gets a bit of payback however. Equality and all that-

-God. Call 911 and get someone to restart my HEART please.-

-Just send me the beta and stop complaining.-

-Can't,- he types back after a moment. -You said you don't beta naughty.-

Pepper's breath catches in her throat and her mouth dries out. She is shocked with her own...interest. -It's not fair,- she complains after a moment, -to make me trust you as a writer and then tempt me with the goods.-

-I didn't intend to go this route...it didn't start out as dirty at all. Stark was just admiring some of Pepper's nonsexual assets.- He pauses. -That said, I'm a guy writing a guy looking at a beautiful woman. I mean can you really blame me?-

-Well, as long as your "admiration" doesn't stray into lewdness or fantasizing...I might take a peek. I can always close the document if I get uncomfortable.-

-Are you SURE? Don't want to push you into something you'll regret in the morning.-

Pepper snorts. -I appreciate that, since I manage the task fairly well on my own.-

-Just double checking.-

A moment later she clicks the 'accept the file' link.

Pepper Potts has many standout qualities - not the least of which are intelligence, a evil sense of humor and a high tolerance for my bullshit - but the most sterling of those qualities has got to be her legs. And yeah, I'm a pig – never tried to pretend otherwise - but Pepper's legs? Could seriously bring a man back from the dead.

Of course, while we're on the subject, so could her ass.

The two of them together in that outfit? Simply put? Someone shoot me. PLEASE.

See – here's the thing. Pepper and I have this little game where she wears short skirts and heels up to here, and I leer, and we both get on with our lives. And the reason the game works is because though I really like looking at her legs, I also respect the hell out of the woman they belong to. She's not some faceless/nameless T&A buffet to take advantage of, which is exactly what all the OTHER men in this room are thinking.

And if Stedman doesn't stop trying to brush by her ass that way? I'm gonna have to do something extreme. Stop staring at her breasts, man. The stuff you need if you want to meet your deadline is in her HEAD.

See what most people don't get, because I don't talk about it, is that after ten year of knowing her the part of Virginia Potts that I most in awe of? Is Pepper's head. Yeah, sure, it's nicely shaped, covered in that amazing sunset hair, and possessed of a thin but deliciously broad mouth. But it also contains the world's best, most precise rolodex-slash-day planner, one that has even beaten J.A.R.V.I.S. at recalling information once or twice. And beating an AI with several terabytes of memory and processing speed is no mean feat. To be frank, it's the equivalent of beating an electronic chess grandmaster.

So yeah Pepper's smart. If not exactly in the same spheres as me. That's okay because I like to think that the difference between us rounds us out a a working pair nicely. Pepper may not have my grasp of physics or high level mathematic, but in matters of history, social science and art Pepper can and regularly does talk CIRCLES around me. Anyone who doubts that is free to lose everything but the shirt on their back to her in Jeopardy!

Pepper grins, because while she has never played Jeopardy! with Tony, she does regularly beats the pants off of both Tony and Rhodey in Trivial Pursuit. Even the sports trivia, though she'd memorized most of that as a defensive measure.

Pepper's still chatting away politely with Stedman, though her arms have taken up a casually defensive stance over her cleavage. I, however, have had enough. And what kind of boss would I be if I didn't rescue my employees when they need it?

It doesn't hurt that rescuing this particular employee means keeping her cleavage all for myself. Pepper's...endowment package...is a clear case for quality over quantity. So I open my phone, pause a moment then raise my voice to carry across the room. "No – that's NOT acceptable. Hey, Potts! come deal with a couple of bozos for me."

She rolls her eyes, nods to Stedman and strides in my general direction. "Please tell me that's not a Board member," she whispers back dryly.

"None of the Board members are interesting enough to be referred to as bozos." I hand her the phone, anticipating the moment she realizes no one's there.

Have I mentioned Pepper's eyes? Because they're fantastic. Big, deep blue, expressive as hell, prone to more eye-rolling than I'd like, but then, that's usually my fault.

She puts the phone to her ear, pauses, and then lifts a perfect brow at me. "Come on." I jerk my head toward the door, "Gawking season's up. I'm getting hungry."

She doesn't protest beyond another very well placed eyebrow, just turns on one of those sharp little heels and matches my pace, already tapping away at her phone. "You have a dinner appointment with Senator Tomlinson at seven. He prefers talking to eating, so I suggest heading some place filling for lunch."

I grin at her. "Old Country Buffet it is then."

The story ends there, and Pepper doesn't know if she's more amused, chagrined, or flattered. There's a lot of focus put on the female form here, but there's an almost adequate balance of attention paid to more immaterial aspects, and a brash sweetness that's often so much of Tony's behavior with her. It's actually a little shocking at how well Turbo has written Tony.

-This is good,- she finally types. -Your flow and your vocabulary are really improving.-

-Be still my heart. Too much testosterone?-

-For anyone else? Yes. But probably not for Tony.-

-Tony? Someone's getting pretty familiar. Not calling him Stark anymore?-

-Sorry. Bad habit.-

Tony pauses then, -So have you accidentally called your guy at work 'Tony' yet?-

-My guy at work is a Tony. It's not exactly an uncommon name.- Absolute truth and absolute lie at the same time.

-Ah. Did you know Potts's first name is actually, of all things, Virginia?-

Pepper blinks.

-She was a cheerleader at her high school apparently.-

Pepper pales. -Tell me you didn't find pictures somewhere.-

-Well if you want me to lie.- There's a pause. -Funny, but I can't find record of her middle name anywhere...-

-Maybe she doesn't have one?- Pepper hopes he'll believe that desperately. Being named Virginia ROSE had not been one of her parents' brightest moments.

-Everyone has a middle name.-

-Absolute statements are the fallback for people without better arguments.-

-I suppose I'll just have to try and track down her birth records or something...-

-That's creepy, Stalker. Stick to tentacle sex.-

-I am so quoting you saying that in my status.-

-Go ahead, you've totally trashed my aura of mystery anyway.- Pepper rolls her eyes. As if he can do anything else to dig into her private life. -I'm going to bed now.-

-I wore you out huh?-

-Yup, and here I am all out of cigarettes.-

-Damn, I'm good. So, any big plans for the weekend?-

-Just the usual. Cleaning. Get some cooking done for the week. Maybe take a whack at some conversations I've been trying to avoid for awhile now.-

-Ooooooooooh. I accept thanks in the form of hot cookies.-

-That's baking, not cooking.-

-I stand corrected...- There's a pause then, -It's gonna be a slow weekend for me too. Just me and the tentacles if you know what I mean. If you need to decompress again at some point you know where to find me.-

-Yeah.- Pepper's lips quirk. Considering that one of the conversations she's thinking about having is with Tony, she might need reassurance from a male perspective later on. -Well, I really am going now. It's been a long day.-

-Sleep well. Try not to drive yourself bonkers all right?-

Pepper snorts then types. -That admonishment is coming in a little late. -

-Well, better late than never, right?-

Her lips quirk. -Turbo, for the record, thank you. For playing Lucy to my Charlie Brown, I mean.-

Tony grins than types back simply, -No problem. That'll be five cents please.-

Pepper signs out of her messenger account and turns off her computer. Her conversation with Turbo tonight has given her lots of food for thought, and a filter through which to process her recent interactions with Tony. In the dark of the bedroom, snug in her bed, Pepper thinks about the first of the conversations she's been putting off.