Misc: GAH!!! So how long has it been since the last update? Oyi! Sorry. I've had a hectic week with my art classes and also a period of writer's block as my brain is trying to juggle the plots of three different stories, all of which just hit a point of 'where-the-fuck-do-I-go-from-here?!' This one included since I was stuck on a line, but it has quickly been resolved. ^_^

So this chapter is back to the shortness of Chapter One, a relief for me. I'm trying to write shorter chapters aside from the big-ass pieces I tend to do. I tend to write too much. XP Also, I'm still trying to keep the chapters short so that I don't start killing myself trying to update this story while school is going on.

So conclusion with the Sidonis mission, but other than that, I don't know what to say... at least until the endnote...

Chapter Five

If the ride to the factory district had been tense, the ride to Orbital Lounge was even worse. The air within the shuttle was so thick with anger, anxiety, and frustration… Tali felt like she was suffocating. Even within her enviro-suit. Whatever lightness had been shared between Garrus and Shepard was gone now. Instead, all three of them were silent and not a single one of them seemed able to relax. But the two in the front looked worse than Tali herself felt. She couldn't help but wring her hands and fiddle with her omni-tool, just trying to draw her attention somewhere else, to forget what exactly was about to happen and how worried she really was. But while Garrus and Shepard were the ones worrying the quarian, it was impossible for her to forget.

It was a few hours later now and they were all aware of the plan and their parts. It was simple really. Garrus would find a decent vantage point to observe all that happened in front of Orbital Lounge. That left Shepard and Tali to head in to meet Sidonis, posing as Harkin's agent and her tech assistant respectively; all they had to do was lead Sidonis out into the open, straight into Garrus's line of shot. If things went according to plan, there would be no need for the women to battle; still… both of them had their heavy pistols and omni-tools at their disposal, just in case.

However, Shepard was planning to keep a low profile, to keep from drawing more attention than necessary and no longer was she wearing her armor. Instead she wore a civilian ensemble of a jacket, shirt, and pants – which subtly hid the human's high-heeled boots. It was rather surprising for Tali to see her friend appearance so casual and fashionable; there had only been one time she remembered seeing Shepard in civilian wear and that had been the small celebration they had had two years ago after the Battle of the Citadel.

If she could calm her trembling body, Tali figured she'd be inwardly chuckling at the notion of Shepard taking the chance to 'dress up' for Garrus. But with things as they were… she didn't know if that could be the case.

Although Shepard had just bought the outfit…

"Harkin's a bloody menace. Why the hell did we let him go like we did?"

The frustrated snarl from the front seat almost made Tali jump as she jerked from her ruminations and stared ahead at the other two. Garrus was facing Shepard, glaring. But the commander didn't seem to notice the stare she was receiving as she continued to drive, her focus straight ahead; but Tali could see that the commander's stiffly set shoulders said that she was clearly aware of the glower set on her.

"You're still bothered by that?" Shepard questioned, her voice carrying a nonchalant quality that almost fooled Tali. "Forget about him. I told you. C-Sec will get him and he won't get away this time."

"Forgive me if I don't have the utmost faith in C-Sec…"

"I understand that thought, but I doubt Bailey will want to let Harkin off," Shepard countered before turning to regard the turian for a moment before her eyes were on the traffic before them. "Just let it go, Garrus. It's not healthy to focus to the ass. You were hard enough on the guy…"

"What? You think I shouldn't have been? That he didn't deserved it?" the vigilante questioned, his voice low and a faint hint of dangerous anger licked his tone.

"Garrus… I would have loved to make Harkin pick his teeth up off the floor ever since that first meeting with his crude remarks, but did you see me acting on that sentiment?" the human returned, again glancing back at the turian, concern in her dark brown eyes. "It's not what Harkin deserves that's the issue though, Garrus. It's just… the way you were acting… it wasn't like you…"

Garrus's immediate response was a scoff and an irritated twitch of his mandibles before he was facing forward again. "What do you want from me Shepard? What do you expect me to be? And after everything Sidonis did…

"You think I should just forget what Sidonis did? Like how you forgot what Cerberus did?"

"I never forgot what they did," Shepard snapped just as she gave a jerk at the controls and made the shuttle lurch, much to Tali's discomfort. But the quarian was too apprehensive to say anything. She just wasn't interested to get in between a fight taking place between the woman that saw to a Reaper's death and a man who had been enough of a threat to gain the hate of three major merc groups and hold against them on his own for so long.

So she remained silent, continuing to listen to the argument taking place as there was nothing to distract her.

"But how does it make any better to let that tragedy take over your life? How am I proving myself to be better than Cerberus by letting the thought of vengeance against them eat up my life?"

"This isn't about vengeance, Shepard. It's justice," Garrus snarled, shocking Tali to really hear such menace focused towards Shepard from the turian. It wasn't that surprising given that she could see how a seemingly careless thought towards the men that had died might set him off. But this was Commander Shepard. Insults and insensitivity were hardly facets of the human's personality.

"How else is Sidonis going to answer for his crime if I don't bring him to justice? Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else cares…" the turian paused, his voice trailed away from his violent anger and instead being replaced with a hint of sorrow. And as surely as Tali caught it, so did Shepard, as she turned to regard Garrus, just before she landed the shuttle. But if she had anything calming to say, Garrus spoke again, the grief gone as resolve settled back in. "I don't see any other options."

The infiltrator gave a sigh as she looked around their surroundings, her eyes lingering on the lounge before them. Then her gaze was back on Garrus, her voice soft as she said, "Garrus… let me talk to him. Maybe we…"

But the turian didn't seem to hear her words – or want to – as he leaned back in his seat and stared upwards, his voice not at all giving a hint of relenting. "Talk all you want, but it won't change my mind. I don't care what his reasons were, he screwed us… he deserves to die."

"Garrus… please…" the human woman pleaded, her hand raising and freezing before she let it fall back into her lap as she bit her lip. It worried the quarian to see Shepard like this. She felt horrible for the Spectre, thinking how the woman had realized and accepted her feelings for the turian, only to watch him fall away from the person they once knew. "Look… you know I know what you're going through. You know I can't stand being associated with Cerberus like I am now. That I feel like I turning my back on my unit… on Toombs…"

"That's why I'm not backing out of this, Shepard. Sidonis is paying for what he did. I'm not betraying my men…"

The woman gave a sigh, turning her gaze back before them as she leaned back into her chair, remaining silent for a moment before she spoke again. "Garrus… do you really want to kill him? Are you sure about this?"

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm not you."

"And this isn't you either."

To that, the turian gave a scoff, keeping his gaze away from Shepard even as he returned. "Really? How? I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this…" He shook his head before another glare was focused on their commander, letting his tone fully express his aggravation in meeting hindrance. Especially from the one person Taliknew he admired. "Why should he go on living while ten good men lie in unmarked graves? I'm sorry, Shepard," he shook his head again before keying the latch release on shuttle's console and getting up from his seat. "Words aren't going to solve this problem," he closed the conversation hastily, already retrieving his sniper rifle. "I need to set up. You better go. He'll be here soon."

If Shepard had hoped to say something – which Tali was certain of, given the sigh to leave the woman – she apparently knew better – something Tali had expected. Instead the human signaled the shuttle's top to cover once more before she directed the vehicle to head in closer to their destination.

And the closing to distance had finally forced Tali to break her silence.

But not before silencing her – and Shepard's – radio.

"Tali? What…" the infiltrator began, jerking around to face the quarian for the slightest moment before turning back around.

"Shepard, please. Tell me you're not going to let Garrus do this," Tali quickly interrupted her friend, leaning forward , feeling her body tremble with urgency and anxiety – something she knew Shepard was feeling as well. "You wouldn't him fire the first shot against Dr. Saleon. Tell me you're not going to let that happen this time as well…"

"I… I don't want to," Shepard murmured, her hands trembling at the controls, making her touchdown with an uncomfortable jerk. An uncomfortable silence passed between them, Shepard's hands still outstretched as if she was left in a state of shock. Somehow, Tali didn't doubt that the notion was far from reality. Even the slow shake of the woman's head seemed to be made out of disbelief. "I… I understand how he's feeling. I want Cerberus gone as well. I can't stand by their methods and I can't stand working with them. And… I also feel like no one cares about the atrocities the organization has committed. How can people claim Cerberus has noble intentions when they saw to the deaths of fifty men all for the sake of an 'experiment?'

"But it won't make me a better person to take 'justice' in my own hands. Especially by killing people that don't deserve to die…

"And if I did take it into my own hands… I'd be treading too close to vengeance. Which is what Garrus is doing…"

"You don't like this at all, do you? You don't like seeing Garrus like this..." Tali said, already aware of the answer.

"I hate seeing and thinking that life only seems to destroy everything I thought was and everything that I enjoyed. I don't want to see Garrus be one of those casualties," Shepard murmured, popping the cover and moving out onto the walkway before Orbital Lounge. She looked around as Tali also stepped out and the commander's hand went her omni-tool. "Come on… better turn back on the radios before Garrus gets frustrated…"

Tali gave a nod and followed through with the directive… immediately being met with the turian's impatient voice.

"Shepard, can you hear me? What's going on…"

"Radio glitch," Shepard cut in as both women proceeded to the lounge. "It was nothing. Don't worry about it. Besides… matters at hand… do you see him?"

There was a groan from the turian before he spoke in a blank, even voice, "Right over there. The turian sitting and hunched over. Wave him over and keep him talking."

"Right. Well… time's up," the commander murmured, glancing over nervously to Tali. The quarian still felt the same as well, more so than before because now they did not have the freedom to speak their mind.

But this was Commander Shepard. If she set her mind to something… it was hard for anything else to happen.

Tali had to trust that. And she did. She knew she did, even as she watched Shepard signal Sidonis that she was here to meet him. Though it didn't stop her from feeling a twinge of uncertainty pulse through her as the traitor moved to stand before them.

"Let's get this over with," Sidonis said quickly, whatever forced calm in his voice diminished by the clear edgy urgency present about him. Very evident in the slight twitches of his body, how he continued to shift his weight from one said to the other, and his impatient glances around him.

Something about the turian… it left Tali feeling uncertain if Sidonis was really anything like the traitor Garrus painted him as. He was certainly no heartless brute; they tended to be cocky. And well-seasoned criminals – the smart kind – they knew better than to betray any sense of emotion as well as hid their ever vigilance.

If Tali had to say anything, Sidonis seemed… amateur.

She knew he was part of Garrus's squad on Omega and didn't believe that the man was an amateur in the way of guerrilla-type warfare. But… she got the sense that this turian knew nothing of how to go about after a betrayal – thus this was his first. And the fact that the man didn't seem to carry himself in a haughty, arrogant way, she didn't believe that the man had commit the act with any pride.

She didn't know exactly what she thought of Sidonis; she just wondered how guilty the turian was of his crime.

"You're in my shot. Move to the side," Garrus's voice warned in her ear, shifting the young woman's gaze back up to the elder, wondering what Shepard's response would be…

"Listen, Sidonis. I'm here to help you," the commander started, her own voice even and blank, as if there had been nothing troubling her prior to this moment. Or as if she had made her final decision.

There had always been a calm about Shepard the moment her mind was set, no matter the issue.

But Sidonis was far from calm and only adding to Tali's opinion that he was a terrified amateur as he leaned forward and whispered, "Don't ever say that name aloud. I don't need you blowing my cover…"

But Shepard seemed to have gone deaf, as her brown eyes went dark with severity, speaking with words that did not heed the turian. "I'm a friend of Garrus's. He wants you dead, but I'm hoping that's not necessary."

"Dammit, Shepard!" the mentioned turian barked over the radio, clearly sounding infuriated, almost causing Tali to jerk and look towards him, worried by how angry the vigilante was now. "If he moves, I'm taking the shot."

But while Sidonis was wary of the threat his life was in, he remained obvious… and unbelieving of Shepard's claim. "Garrus? Is this some kind of joke?" He watched Shepard, her gaze hard on him, challenging his claim at 'joking.' It was enough to make him realize he wasn't lucky enough for this to be a joke. "You're not kidding, are you?" he then murmured before taking a step back and waving a dismissive hand. "Screw this. I'm not sticking around here to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems…"

"Don't move," the Spectre snarled lowly, grabbing hold of the turian's shoulder.

"Get off me!"

But again, the human did not heed him. Not as she informed him in a low voice still possessive of threat, "I'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head."

"Fuck," was all that escaped the turian, realizing his current predicament and his gaze fell and he shook his head. After a groan, his eyes were back on Shepard, desperation seeping into his voice as he began to plea. "Look… I didn't want to do it. I didn't have a choice."

"Everyone has a choice," Garrus snarled over the radio, making Tali grow nervous, hearing how unwilling he was to give Sidonis a chance.

"They got to me. Said they'd kill me if I didn't help. What was I supposed to do?"

"Let me take the shot, Shepard," Garrus pressed, his voice riddled with disgust, disgust even Tali felt. After all, after her all her years as a quarian, living with the thought of the whole of the Fleet before an individual… 'saving one's neck' at the expense of many was unacceptable, damning. "He's a damn coward."

But Shepard still didn't budge, staying in front of Sidonis, continuing to block Garrus's sights by moving with the turian as she moved to stand by some railing. But though she continued to prolonge the man's life, her own disgust did not go unheard. "That's it? You were just trying to save yourself?"

"I know what I did," the turian returned, his voice heavily and broken, making it hard for Tali to come to a conclusion herself as to what should be done. She had been beginning to believe that Garrus was right ; Sidonis deserved death – though she just did not feel comfortable with seeing how vengeful their turian teammate was becoming. However again, Tali was wondering if Sidonis had paid enough for his deed; if he was living the equivalent of a quarian's exile… "I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that. I wake up every night. Sick…and sweating. Their faces staring at me. Accusing me. I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over…"

"Just give me the chance," the vigilante pressed, almost too eagerly…

And enough to prompt Shepard to voice her refusal to the notion.

"You've got to let it go, Garrus," she murmured, shaking her head as she kept her eyes on the pathetic looking turian before her. "He's already paying for his crime."

"He hasn't paid enough. He still has his life…"

"Look at him, Garrus," Shepard instructed, turning to face the direction their turian friend was in and waving a hand at his target. "He's not alive… there's nothing left to kill."

"My men… they deserved better," he pleaded, anger, desperation, frustration… all quite evident and even Tali had to admit… Garrus was right.

But the former C-Sec officer's words were interrupted and silenced as all three of them returned their attention to the turian traitor, his voice low, but somehow gaining all of their attention.

"Tell Garrus… I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right…"

And with the sigh that sounded in her ear, Tali could imagine that Garrus had lowered his rifle with defeat. "Just… go. Tell him to go…"

The engineer watched as the commander nodded her head, subdued and with no real sign of emotion, be it relief or disgust. And neither was there any in her voice as she informer the turian before the women, "He's giving you a second chance, Sidonis. Don't waste it."

He stood and nodded, moving a step closer to Shepard and speaking loudly, "I'll try, Garrus. I'll make it up to you somehow." He gave a sigh, stepped back and nodded before adding in a soft, grateful voice, "Thank you. For talking to him."

Shepard simply nodded and watched as the turian walked off. She remained standing and staring after Sidonis as he walked off, even after he could no longer be seen. Tali would have spoken, tried to call Shepard's attention back to the present, but she didn't dare. After all the tension that had been present during this situation… the commander deserved a chance of her own quiet relief.

"Hey Tali…" Shepard finally spoke, turning her attention to her omni-tool, her fingers moving to silence her radio again. The quarian took the hint and did the same, her focus on the commander, curious as to what was to be said now. "Do you mind going on ahead to the Normandy? I'm thinking that Garrus isn't going to want an audience…"

"I know I wouldn't," the quarian agreed, but her voice wasn't nearly so somber as Shepard's had been. It was picking up an amused quirk, something also present as she smirked – thought that wasn't something Shepard was able to see. "But I have to ask… do you have something else planned that you need some privacy with the turian?"

"That kind of info is on a 'need-to-know' basis. Can't tell you." But the smirk on the infiltrator's lips told Tali all she needed to know…

"Well… don't let me be the one to hinder the fun," the quarian teased as she went on ahead to find herself a new shuttle. "Enjoy yourselves, Commander…"

"Wait a sec, Tali," Shepard called out, dashing forward a bit and taking hold of the engineer by the wrist. "One more favor. Do you think you can take the shuttle we already used and drag my armor back into the Normandy with you? I've just got a feeling that by the time Garrus and I get back… I won't be in the mind to remember it…"

Though most facial expressions Shepard could not see, Tali was certain that the commander could see how wide her eyes had gotten. "Okay… now you know you are going to have to tell me what's going on… or at least what happens when you get back."

"Maybe… if I feel like it," was all the infiltrator added before releasing Tali and going on to find herself a new shuttle while the quarian returned to the one they had already rented, already feeling a twinge of aggravation as her mind grew too curious of whatever Shepard had planned…

Endnote: So am I evil or just not as cool as I think I am. :( Poohie. Yea... I would have added the next part, but I imagine it'll get rather lengthy with my plans. And as I said with school, smaller chapter work better for my hectic mind.

So... hoping that Tali's POV was fine and that her thoughts didn't stray. And sorry she didn't have much of a say, but in that situation... can she? Still wanted it in her POV.

As for what's going to happen... I shall not say, except it will be something of a relief for me. Interpret that as you please. XP

R&R

Oh, lastly a note to any readers of 'To Survive'... Chapter 6 has also been victim to writer's block and that's the biggest reason I haven't updated. I'm starting to get past the problem so hopefully I'll be able to get that posted at least during Spring Break. So glad Spring Break is coming up...