CHAPTER 7

So it's kind of a miracle that I'm even posting it. Because Grey's is ruined for me and I am so over it. I will now live in fanfic world alone.

I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be so... upset... with Shonda and her... creative suicide.

Addison awakens at the annoying sound of an alarm clock, her head feeling like it's about to explode. She rolls over to shut the clock up, freezing when she rolls into a body. She takes a deep breath before sitting up, the headache increasing slightly as she moves.

"Addie, could you get the damn alarm?"

She reaches over blankly when Derek's muffled voice begs her to and stares at him until he looks at her tiredly.

"I can feel your eyes burning holes into my back."
"Did we… Please tell me we didn't…"

"Have sex?"

She whimpers slightly and Derek grins.

"Wild jungle sex, babe."
"Nooooooo…"

He laughs, reaching out to wipe a strand of hair out of her face.

"Would it be that bad?"

"Actually… yes. It would."
He rolls his eyes, pushing his body of the bed and wrapping his arms around her tenderly.

"Sweetie, you passed out before we even reached the trailer. And as much as I'd like to have sex with you at the moment, having sex with someone who is passed out is just way too creepy."

"So… we didn't?"

"Would I take advantage of you like that?"

"No… no, you wouldn't."
"Exactly."

He leans over, brushing his lips against hers quickly.

"I'd ask you to join me for a shower, but I have a feeling the answer would be no."

Addison arches a brow, staring at him sarcastically.

"My my, Dr Shepherd. You are quite skilled with guesses."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Oh, would I ever?"

He grins, brushing his lips against hers again.

"I'll be five minutes then the shower is all yours. Coffee?"

She nods, getting up.

"I'll just be in this beautiful big kitchen of yours making some."

"Who knew you could be so domesticated. Making coffee and all…"

"Shut up."
He laughs, his eyes meeting hers. Addison smiles against her own will, nodding at him slightly.

"Hurry up with that shower."

"I will."

He disappears into the bathroom and Addison slowly turns the kettle on, frowning slightly.

Somehow… it was like New York.

Like it was before Mark.

The friendly banter, flirting…

But then there was Alex and… She sits down, sighing deeply.

"This… is a mess. A huge and awful… mess."

As luck would have it, Alex is the first person she sees when she arrives at the hospital. Unfortunately for her, this happens while she is getting out of Derek's car. She groans slightly when she notices him spinning around and rushing into the hospital, looking at Derek quietly.

"I just… I have to talk to him, Derek."

"What… what are you going to stay?"

She sighs, resting her head against Derek's chest.

"I wish I knew."

"Addie… I love you. But you can't keep doing this to us. Sooner or later… you're going to have to choose."

She pulls away and nods, staring at him.

"I know. But I'm going to take my time in deciding."

"Why?"

"I want to make the right decision, Derek. Or do you want me to say I choose you and long after Alex every second of every day? And then have sex with him at the hospital and…"

"Are you ever going to forgive me for that?"

"Yes… I just… I don't want to make the same mistake you did, Derek. I don't want to make the wrong choice."
He grabs onto her hand, pulling her flush against his chest.

"I didn't. I made the right choice the first time."

"Look, I… I have to talk to Alex. I owe it to him."
"Are you in love with him?"

"I… don't know. I could be."

"Are you still in love with me?"

Addison sighs, closing her eyes.

"I don't know, Derek. I just… don't know."

She gives him a sad smile before rushing after Alex, hoping that she would at least get him to listen to her.

"Alex! Alex, wait, please, just…"

He finally stops, turning to face her. Addison flinches at the look of hurt in his eyes, biting down on her lower lip sadly.

"Alex…"
"Dinner with the Webbers, huh?"

"He was there… I had no idea he was going to be there, Alex, I swear."

"You went home with him?"

"I wish I could…deny it, but…"
"You did."
"I'm sorry…"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No!"

"But… you came home with him. Are you… why?"

Addison looks at the nurses nearby, desperately trying to catch something of the conversation and reaches out, grabbing Alex's hand.

"Look, can we have this discussion somewhere… alone?"
"Fine."

He leads her to an empty on-call room, closing the door behind them.

"So?"

"Look, I… I was upset that Derek was there, I…"

"Sure looks like it."
"Could you give me a chance to explain here?"
He scoffs, sitting down on the bed.

"Fine."

"I… guess I had a few too many and… we were talking and it wasn't that nice. And then it was and… I went to the trailer with him, but Alex, I swear… nothing happened."

"Nothing?"

"You have to believe me. I wouldn't do that to you… Nothing happened."

"Okay."
"Are… are we good?"

"I guess… but Addison, you… you can't string both of us along. It's him or me."
"I know. I know I have to make that choice, I just… I want to be sure."

"Okay."

"You… you understand?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. I mean… the two of you do have a history."

"We do."

"Just promise me something…"

"What?"

He pulls her a bit closer, brushing his lips against her forehead.

"When you know… you have to tell both of us. Immediately."

"I will."

She leans up, trying to kiss him but he pulls away – much to her surprise.

"Alex?"

"Look, I just… I can't do that right now."
"You can't kiss me?"

"No. I just… need some time."

"I thought you understood?"

"I do. That's what makes this so hard. The fact that… you don't know if I'm enough."

He leaves before she can say another word and Addison falls down on one of the beds, her body shaking with silent tears.