A/N: This chapter is 'involved' so I ended up splitting it. Thanks again for my lovely comments, U ROCK! I will continue to modify and enhance future chapters for easier readability. That's my ultimate goal. Again, thanks so much for helping me :D***

A/N: Disclaimer, the characters setting and familiar situations belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. I'm not making any monetary profit from this.

Secrets I

A couple of days went by and all seemed normal enough. Edward had come back the night before and snuck into bed with me. His cool hands touching my skin so lightly, I hardly noticed he was even there, it felt like a dream. I thought I was having a delicious dream about my Edward, but then I awoke to feel his arms wrapped around me, lightly kissing my forehead with his cool lips, and it was better than any dream I could have had. I wrapped my free arm around his ribs and pulled him closer squeezing him tight. He did the same, all the while kissing my cheek and breathing in the fragrance of my hair. He tried to explain it to me once the intoxicating effects of what my scent, specifically around the nape of neck does to him, especially on first seeing me after an absence no matter how long or brief, but he said no human experience could compare. It was like explaining colors to a blind person. I told him that was sort of rude, and laughed, but he explained he had no better comparison to use. His touch was a nice relief from the warmth of the heaters. He could feel the heat of my body and asked if I was too hot. He got up to turn off the heaters, but I told him to leave them on. I liked the heat.

The combination of cold on top of my hot skin was a strange yet pleasurable sensation, and just knowing Edward was here with me again helped me fall asleep quickly. He promised to tell me all about their hunting trip later, and what the boys had planned to do for his Bachelor party when I woke up the next morning.

But the next morning came, and when I awoke I was alone. He did come back last night didn't he or did I dream that? No, I was sure I talked to him. Then I remembered how he was holding me. I grabbed the ends of my hair and smelled it. It was him, there were still some traces of Edward's own intoxicating aroma on my hair. So where is he? He doesn't usually just leave like that unless my father is at my door, but to my knowledge Charlie never checked in on me.

I yawned, and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. The sun seemed extra bright this morning and my eyes hurt a little more than usual, sort of the way it feels when I don't get enough sleep. There was no note to tell me why he left or when he'd be back. It was strange. I felt the bed next to me and it didn't feel cool. Not like it would if he had just been there, so he must have gone some time in the night. But why? Was there some kind of emergency? If so, why wouldn't he wake me? My naturally curious prone-to-panic mind went through every scenario in the book, including the possibility that Alice had seen something concerning the Volturi. I quickly made some calls.

"Oh hello, Bella, it's good to hear from you, dear," Esme answered. She sounded genuinely surprised, but pleased at the same time. I detected no trace of concern in her voice.

"Hi Esme, is Edward there?"

"No, I haven't seen him since the boys got back from their trip. Let me check the house though, maybe someone has talked to him recently."

"Ok, thank you, I'd appreciate that." She couldn't have been gone for more than 9 seconds when she returned to say no one had spoken with him and didn't know where he could be.

"Even Alice? Can't she see where he is?"

"Alice is out. She had to drive to Seattle and will be back in an hour. Did you try Edward's phone?"

"Yes I did, first thing, but it went straight to voicemail."

"Hmm, well I don't know. If it's urgent you could try Alice's cell or should I have her call you when she gets in?"

"No, that's ok, I'm sure it's nothing. If it were anything important Alice would call me. I'll just wait for him at my house. If he comes in or calls tell him to call me, ok?"

We hung up and this definitely left me with a strange sense of anxiety. But Esme wasn't at all worried about Edward or his whereabouts. Apparently there was no alert of any kind. She was just as confused as I was. Huh? Alice was gone too. Perhaps Edward is taking care of some detail for the wedding. Edward knows of my disdain for anything to do with wedding planning, so maybe he and Alice are getting it all coordinated.

Yes, surely that's what it is. But if so, why wouldn't he just leave a note telling me so? This filled me with relief and fear. Leaving Alice in charge of my wedding may prove to be my undoing.

Or, another possibility for Edward's disappearance: Was he planning another surprise for me?

I don't think I can handle any more surprise gifts from him. The sneaky way in which he gave me this bauble from his mother made me a little leery about any future gifts. "A hand-me-down." I had to laugh, more like an heirloom. I looked down at my bracelet. The bauble in question, a multi-faceted stone, easily five carats, absolutely exquisite-caught the sun just right and sparkled so bright it hurt my aching eyes. Its brilliance did remind me of Edward, and it made me smile.

Just for curiosity sake though, I did look on the internet what something like this could be worth. I didn't want to take it to a jeweler for an appraisal because I was worried that something so unique as this would be recognized and word would get back to Edward. My suspicions were correct. This unassuming little bauble could be worth anywhere from $15,000 to $200,000! Probably more given the antique nature of the setting and its condition. That's like, wow!

How could he think I would be comfortable owning something as grandiose as this? This belongs in a safe, a deposit box, at Buckingham Palace even, not hanging precariously on my accident-proned body. It's not really smart to tempt fate. Didn't he think I would find out its worth eventually? Even if it were worth 5 cents, its still priceless because it belonged to his mother. It's absolutely dear to him and is a part of his history. If I should lose this it would just kill me and probably devastate him, although he would never say it. Doesn't he know me at all by now? Something like this, doesn't belong on me.

And quite frankly, if it weren't from his mother I would have given it back to him and insisted on something far less extravagant, but I fear that would have hurt his feelings as well. I have such a mish-mosh of feelings about this but I've learned that when it comes to gifts, especially extravagant ones, to just bite my tongue and deal. Even though it's made me a nervous wreck, it makes him so happy seeing it dangle on my wrist, which makes me ecstatic and proud.

Looking around my still empty room didn't yield any answers for me, except maybe to organize a little better. But nothing was taken or disturbed and nothing to indicate when he'd be back. It was like he left in a hurry. I just hoped nothing was wrong.

A few days later, Edward and I were riding to his parents' house in my truck to spend the day with his family, a visit long overdue for one reason or another.

Edward was busy reading a note from my mother addressed to me. I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that I was a bad liar, but I hoped my quick answers and script were enough to thwart any suspicions mom may have had about my wedding. No such luck. When her package arrived with a note four days after the call back in June it confirmed what I feared, she picked up on something. Her note says it all:

Bella,

This is just something I wanted to send you, for no reason at all really. I've been thinking a lot about what you said on the phone and it all makes perfect sense. Very practical actually. Edward is a wonderful boy and I can tell how much he loves you. I know he will take care of you. You will have many opportunities and doors open for you as his wife. But darling, I have to wonder if you know what you're getting yourself into. Why marriage? Why now? You've got to understand, I've only known you your-whole-life (the life before Edward) and you've never once, not once, mentioned marriage or starting a family so young or any of the silly things your friends back home were doing, and now you're doing it, right now, just out of high school with the first serious boyfriend you've ever had. And no, Ronnie Templeton from the 3rd grade doesn't count.

You had always talked about going to college somewhere like California or Hawaii even. But Dartmouth? Really? Do you know how cold it gets up there? Much, much, much colder than Forks, honey. You hate the cold, more than anyone I know. The winter storms that pass through there are brutal. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that school, it's top-notch, but it's just so far away from anything I thought YOU would ever want. Honestly Bella, this doesn't sound like you at all.

Arizona has some really nice schools too, you know, you could be close to your old friends back home if the Ivy League thing doesn't suit. And of course there's always Florida, *hint hint*.

This is all such a shock to me. I am glad you finished high school at least before springing this on us, but I would rather you finished college too before thinking of something as life-changing as marriage. And it does change things whether you know it or not. It changes people. I know waiting is asking a lot of someone so young and when you're so in love. But August 13? What's the hurry?

Your explanations were very well thought out, I could tell you spent some time preparing them. I'm just not sure I buy it. I feel like there's something more, something you're not saying. I know you, Bella.

When I asked you if you had something you needed to talk about, you paused that same pause you do when there's something big you've yet to tell me, but can't or won't. There's something weighing on your mind, I can feel it. If you can't tell me or your dad or Edward even, then maybe you can put it all in this journal. I know it seems lame to someone your age, but it can actually be a great comfort. I used to keep journals a long time ago and I always found that sometimes the answer just shows up as you're writing things out. I don't know if you think you're too old to keep one, but I really don't think so. Some of the greatest figures in history kept journals. I know sometimes things can get really jumbled upstairs and you need to find a way to pull it apart and look at it from a different angle. I really hope you put this to use, Bella, and not as something to hold your nightstand level. haha.

I love you baby, take care and don't worry about me or Phil, or Charlie either for that matter. You already know my views on marrying too young, so I won't get into it. I also know you're a smart girl with a good head on your shoulders and you'll make the right decision FOR YOU when it's time. It's just going to take some time for me to get used to the idea that's all. I don't suppose you could be engaged for five years or so? haha Yeah, didn't think so.

*You've Still Got Some Explaining To Do Young Lady!*

I just want to make that clear, but that's all for now.

Take care darling, enjoy your journal, I love you! Give Edward and Charlie my best.

xoxoxox,

Mom

P.S. Oh yes, explain to me again what happened with you and Jacob? You were as thick as thieves not too long ago. Did I miss something?

I sighed when I first read this and thought, Yes mom you missed something. Leave it to mom to say the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time. Now I know where I get my social ineptitude.

"Your mother is quite observant isn't she? I do believe you take after her," Edward said, clearly amused, still holding mom's letter in his hands.

I laughed at the idea that anything about my human self could marvel Edward at all, but that was definitely one thing about me that did. It was also a credit to me that I can be as cunning as the devil when the need arose, or so I found out with my skirmish with James. Perhaps it was this ability that will be enhanced when I become a vampire. Something I've never really been able to come right out and say is that I secretly wanted an ability to call my own, something that would distinguish me and amaze even the likes of the Volturi. Maybe even do away with my clumsy self once and for all. Not that I would ever become a member even if they begged, but it would be nice to even the playing field with Edward and Alice for once.

His remark about how observant I was brought up a topic I had been dying to bring up. "So, can we talk about something now?"

"Sure."

"Where exactly did you disappear to the other day? When I asked you about it that afternoon you didn't seem willing to talk about it. You kept changing the subject."

"I had some things to attend to. Don't worry, I'll tell you when the time is right," he smiled a slight smile at me.

I don't know why he couldn't just tell me now. It must either be really good or really bad.

After Edward finished reading, he gingerly refolded mom's letter and placed it neatly on the seat between us. My truck, a.k.a, "The Thing" was wheezing down the highway at a comfortable 45 miles an hour. He appeared to be examining the envelope, perhaps he had something on his mind. He looked somber.

I know what most people would think of my truck. That it's not fashionable, it's clunky, probably more dangerous than anyone really knew and could use a lot of work, but what it lacks in flash it makes up for in personality. My truck, in spite of all odds against it, has endured. A vehicular version of me perhaps. Maybe that's why it has always secretly irked me that Edward felt compelled to diss my truck every chance he got. He thinks he's being funny so I let a lot of it slide. I know he couldn't have understood how I felt even if I told him and there's no way I could tell him something like that. When has he ever felt inadequate?

And while some would say that I'm pretty, beautiful even as Edward's constantly reminding me, I just never saw it and never felt comfortable in my own skin. Even if I were as beautiful as Rosalie it wouldn't matter. I would still never see it or care. It was never even a topic of conversation until I came to Forks and saw how the boys here reacted to me. If I hadn't seen the most beautiful people on the planet my first day of school, I might have felt good about all the attention.

Edward sighed loudly obviously disgusted with the speed in which we were traveling. He wanted to come in his car, but I insisted we come in mine. I had not driven my truck around in nearly two weeks and it was important to drive it once in a while. It's good for the engine, dad says. I had neglected it so, I was just glad it was running at all. I loved my truck. I'd keep it forever if I could, just maintain it through the years, but it's not very practical gas-wise and I'm a little worried the sounds its beginning to make are a sign of things to come. I fear one of these days The Thing will heave its last. And my favorite, most talented mechanic in the world was nowhere to be seen. Jacob brought this truck to life just like he did for me. We both will somehow have to do without him. Even when it dies I may keep it anyway. This truck has a lot of good memories attached to it, why would I ever give it up?

Edward's disapproval showed on his face. He looked like he was ready to jump out of the truck and run the rest of the way to the house. His impatience with my truck's poor performance was wearing on my nerves.

"I'm going as fast as my truck needs to go, Edward," I snapped. "I don't want to push it too hard, and besides it's not like they're expecting us by a certain time or anything," I said, trying to defend my baby.

Traveling now on that long winding road to the Cullens' house, I turned into the familiar driveway. Edward, looking hurt by the assumption. He turned to me and said, "That's not what was on my mind actually. Well, maybe somewhat, I could literally get out and walk faster than this thing can go, but to be honest I was thinking of something else entirely."

Suddenly feeling like a skunk for jumping to conclusions all I could fumble out was, "Oh, sorry. I thought...never-mind."

I could tell something was clearly on his mind. "So then, exactly what is it that's making your face look like a flat tire?"

Edward held out the envelope that my mom's letter came in, I looked at it expecting to see something new, but all I saw was the same familiar envelope as before. Same mailing address, same return address, same postage, same postmar...

"Oh." Fudge!

"You've had this for three weeks, Bella. Why would you not tell me about this?" Edward said with a somewhat accusatory look in his eyes, or maybe it wasn't so much accusatory as hurt, it was hard to distinguish the two sometimes.

I put the truck into park and turned off the engine. I felt yet another discussion coming on.

I could feel the warmth creep into my face as I tried to explain, but I realized it would only really make sense to me. Just do the best you can. Okay, here goes...

Continued in Secrets II…

A/N: The part above about Edward suddenly leaving will make more sense in later chapters, so just keep it tucked away somewhere in your memory banks until the time is right. Remember, all comments will be used to further my literary distractions.***